We Need To Start Telling Black Girls That They’re Beautiful Again I’m So Fucking Serious. Enough

I just realized I’ve spent at least an hour trying to find a tumblr post that conveys how I feel right now or at least encourages my thoughts out of the jumbled up mess they are currently in and it’s like, why can’t I make that post myself? Why can’t I just unravel my thoughts the way I usually do in my journal? Why must I, in a way, torture myself today? Trying to fill I void I already know how to fill and trying to rid myself of a feeling I already am well aware of how to get rid of but I am currently just choosing not to. Like I guess it’s because today was one of those days where it sort of sinks in more than usual just how trapped I feel in my life, but even then I know I don’t have to make it worse. I don’t have to binge eat, I don’t have to force myself to do exercises I very well don’t have the energy for, and I don’t have to starve myself either. There’s other ways to go about my sinking feeling than self destructing.

I listen because i know how it feels to be unheard and ignored

Cis women don't even pass bro who gives a shit anymore

I kind of hate the internet so much sometimes, like I continue to try and look for other people’s experiences that resonate with me (specifically with body dysmorphic disorder right now) and literally nothing. Just nothing. Everyone who i try to see if they have a relating experience on maybe Reddit or quora all happen to be conventionally attractive and just in a bad state of mind. What about me? I’m fat, black, and ugly. People don’t find me attractive. I don’t find myself attractive. So now I’m here trying to figure out if it actually counts as body dysmorphia because what the hell is this.

Got to keep reminding myself this

Being thin is morally neutral.

Being fat is morally neutral.

Being muscular is morally neutral.

Wanting to be thin is morally neutral.

Wanting to be fat is morally neutral.

Wanting to be muscular is morally neutral.

Taking steps to become thin is morally neutral

Taking steps to become fat is morally neutral

Taking steps to become muscular is morally neutral

Literally do whatever you want forever. Reblog is you agree.

ADHD PRO TIP: if your space continually ends up cluttered, then your stuff is probably too difficult to put away or includes too many steps.

Let me explain.

Our brains can only handle so many steps in a task before the "eh, I'll do it later" instinct kicks in. When this happens, we set the object down on the nearest flat surface and let it pile up. Once it's down, it becomes scenery and we stop worrying about it (...until the clutter becomes stressful).

I have art supplies under my bed that can only be accessed by taking everything else out from under there first. Once I've done that and used my item, I never want to put it back because it's an entire ordeal. "I'll do it later." Yeah no the fuck I won't.

The solution was one of these bad boys:

Wheels so it can be moved around, clear so I can see what's in it, and separate drawers so I can store multiple types of objects separately. It's much easier to toss something back in the drawer than rearrange the underside of my bed for the fifth time.

Another example is laundry. It's practically a universal experience that ADHD people will move the laundry basket around our room instead of actually putting the clothes away. I do it frequently. While I can't eliminate that entirely, I can mitigate it for one simple reason: I hang up my shirts. Why have I been folding my shirts to put them in the basket, only to unfold them to hang them up? It's way more effective to just bring a bunch of hangers to the laundry room with me and go straight from dryer to hanger to closet.

The less steps a cleaning task has, the more likely we are to get it done.

HAI IK I WONT GET ANY SOOO...

____ Amount of notes and ill.... (5 notes per person)

5: Clean my room :]

10: Eat 3 meals a day :/

20: Clean my closet TvT (SOBS)

30: Get enough sleep (10 hrs)

50: Let myself take breaks

100: Tell my mom I need a phycologist :] (She said she'll try and find me one :3)

300: Finnally write my story I've been planing

500: Throw away sh blades