I Think I’m Drowning In Missing You

the radio remix of this song gives me life

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Sometimes I walk around, suffering, and people ask what is wrong. They don’t mean any harm—I look like I am trapped in my own mind, they simply want to help. But they don’t understand, and they’ll never be able to. Nobody can help myself out of this but me. And when it came down to it, I know those people wouldn’t be there at my darkest. They merely ask me how I’m doing to placate their own conscience.

a new start

it was something i felt from a million miles away,

the ending,

the beginning.

watching the light fade away till it flashed to darkness.

i can see the flickers of distant flames,

and for a moment hope flickers within my heart in the same rhythm.

some part of me feels

that even though everything is dark right now,

a new start will come and bring me back to life.

everything right now feels so desolate.

the night sky no longer shimmers with the stars that once loved me so.

seeing the flare of light from faraway,

thinking “who was she? the girl i once called my own?”

yet the crystalline glass of the suncatcher she gave me

still shines with the light of the sun and its galaxies.

the silky softness of what we used to be,

it glitters with newfound gold.

a new start will improve upon the old.

wonder, wonder, wonder.

will the doors that close behind me ever open again?

their dim lamp gleams through the cracks between the hinges.

i wonder what they’re doing back there.

i wonder if they’re having fun.

but a new door sparkles in front of me.

a new start will be a clean slate.

Kiss, marry, kill: ‘Tis the damn season, it’s time to go, and Cornelia street.

DAMNNN THIS ONE IS KILLING ME

kiss it’s time to go

marry cornelia street

kill tis the damn season

😭😭😭😭

Kiss, marry, kill: tolerate it, run, and the 1.

Ellie how could you do this to me

kiss tolerate it

marry run

kill the 1

😭😭😭😭

pink tulle bracelet

today,

she gave me a twisted bracelet made out of pink tulle.

and it made me wonder.

how can such a simple object hold so much love?

i wish i could throw it out into the world,

the words, the meaning, the life,

oh my,

my confidante,

my one to rely on,

my person i run back to every time,

i love you.

the way you smile when we remember the old days

and the way you listen and never complain.

the way you go out of your way to talk to me

and the way we can communicate from across the room.

with every speck of my being,

i love you.

and in five years

i will not remember the meaning or the significance

of this twisted bracelet made of pink tulle

but i will hold it and feel how much love radiates off of it.

with all my heart and soul,

i love you.

just got led lights and i’m lowk in love with them

(purple bc she came over today and her favorite color is purpleee 💜)

oh my god

this pang feeling in my chest, it won’t ever leave. my heart is born to carry the weight of my suffering. maybe you think that its only purpose is that of pumping blood in my body, blood that heats up when I hear your name: out of anger, out of love. I don’t even know. I’m not the same as I was before I met you. you brought up the worst in me. I lied for you, I lived for you, I loved for you, I hated for you and I still wonder if you ever appreciated any second of it. now I suffer because I don’t know who I am to you. am I just a friend to you? was I ever supposed to be your friend? do you still want to hold me tight at night and caress my hair? do you still dream of a life we could’ve lived together? does your heart still skip a beat when you hear my name? do I mean anything to you anymore? I want you to suffer, the same way I am. I want you to reminisce all of those moments together. I want you to mourn the loss of having me in your arms. I need to you to be stuck like me. I can’t ever imagine you moving on from me.