Lurasty12345678910 - A Pansexual Disasters

*Bruce and 9yo Dick playing chess*

Dick: Okay, I'm gonna take your pointy, sad-faced guy for my horsey guy.

Bruce: Stop, stop. *pointing to Bishop* What is this piece called?

Dick: I call him Dwight.

spending hours making playlists is the real girl dinner.

Jason and Family

Jason: I kinda hate you guys right now, not gonna lie.

Jason: Except you, Alfred, of course.

Alfred: Of course, sir.

Jason: And you, Duke. You’re cool.

Duke: Thanks man.

Jason: And Steph, platonic love of my life, you’re great.

Steph: Aww, thanks.

Jason: Cass? You are a perfect angel who occasionally incites unbelievable amounts of chaos and I love you.

Cass: Love you too.

Jason: Babs? Thanks for that thing you did.

Babs: No problem.

*a few concerned looks*

Jason: Damian, you’re fine.

Damian: You are acceptable as well.

Steph, stage whispering: It’s how they show love.

Jason: Bruce, go to hell.

Bruce, sighing: You can’t patrol in a zombie Easter bunny costume.

Jason: It would be hilarious and you know it.

Jason: Anyway, Tim? You are a menace to society but most importantly to Lex Luthor and I appreciate your contribution to his continued suffering.

Tim: Thanks.

Jason: And as for YOU!

Dick: *nervous giggle*

Jason: YOU.

Dick: Heh-eh, yeah, that’s me. I’m me, I mean, I-

Jason: Just what do you have to say for yourself, young man?

Dick: Young man? I’m older than you!

Jason: Fine. Old man. Whatever.

Dick: I’m not old!

Tim, under his breath: Oh my word.

Jason: Well?

Dick: Uh-Huh, so, funny story, but-

Steph: *loud crunching sounds from popcorn*

Everyone: *looks at Steph*

Steph: What?

Bruce: Where did you get popcorn?

Steph: It’s my superpower. Continue.

Jason: Gladly. YOU!

Dick: I feel like we did this part already.

Jason: Well?

Duke: Can we skip to the part where we find out what he did?

Jason: What he did! Do you know what he did?

Damian: No, and at this rate we never will.

Jason, ignoring that: He got me banned from 14 countries and 8 different airlines.

Cass: Well at least that’s not going to stop you.

Dick: And I said I was sorry.

Steph: Wait, back up. How did HE get YOU banned?

Jason: *gesturing for Dick to explain*

Dick: I, uh, panicked and pretended to be Jason?

Everyone:

Tim: Okay I feel like that needs some explaining.

Bruce: *loud, drawn out sigh*

Alfred: Knowledge is a burden, Master Bruce.

Bruce: Ignorance is bliss? *goes to stand up*

Alfred: Nice try.

Bruce: *sits back down*

✨ Barbie batfam ✨

do the spiderverse kids all have. slightly different meme cultures

✨🍋✨💛✨🍋✨💛✨🍋✨💛✨

🍋✨💛✨🍋✨💛✨🍋✨💛✨🍋

✨💛✨🍋✨💛✨🍋✨💛✨🍋✨

💛✨🍋✨ MANIFESTING✨🍋✨💛

✨🍋✨happy outcomes and✨💛✨

🍋✨💛good news in August💛✨🍋

✨💛✨🍋✨💛✨🍋✨💛✨🍋✨

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✨🍋✨💛✨🍋✨💛✨🍋✨💛✨

You're not a bad person for wasting food because you forgot to eat it or left it out or didn't have the time/energy/executive function to prepare it or didn't have an appetite or whatever. Unlearn the guilt your parents taught you.

When tony found out that Peter can hear heartbeats, he immediately made an upgrade to all of the Iron Man suits:

If FRIDAY senses critical vitals or a massive injury, a deep tone will play from within the suit, deep enough it’s not really audible to anyone else.

Peter can hear it though. Peter can hear it loudly enough that he can’t hear the wearers slowing heartbeat.

Peter didn’t have to listen to Tony’s heart stop.

Sometimes when Dicks just too tired to deal with the batfam’s shit he starts encouraging them.

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Surrounded by gang members and caught in the crossfire between two gangs

Jason *pulling out a gun* : I’m gonna fucking obliterate all of them

Nightwing: Go right ahead

Jason: .. you serious? I’m not playing Dick I WILL shoot every single one of them in the head

Nightwing: sure.

Jason:

Nightwing: What you want me to start? Okay.

Jason: .. Dick why the fuck do you have a gun? DICK STOP LOADING THE GUN-

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At a stakeout waiting for the proof before intervening

Tim: Why can’t we just force a confession instead of waiting for him to crack?

Stephanie: Ooo or threaten him with blackmail so bad he starts crying!

Duke: Guys *eyes point to Dick sitting in a corner*

Stephanie: Right.. party pooper

Nightwing:

Nightwing: Okay got it.

*heads out*

Duke: No Dick wait! We were joking!

Stephanie: drama queen just needs a minute sunshine- wait is that him approaching the target?

Tim *who’s seen this happen before* *panicking knowing what’s gonna go down* : OH SHIT ABORT-

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Being stuck with a very annoying henchmen who won’t stop talking

Damian: .. Can we simply shut him up?

Nightwing: whatever you wanna do

Damian *narrows eyes*: I can’t ruin my katanna for this

Nightwing: *hands him knife*

Damian:

Nightwing: And remember, the most effective place to silence someone without causing them excruciating pain and also temporarily depriving them of air is right here *points to a small area on the neck*

Damian: ..

Nightwing: .? Go on?

Damian *putting it away* : .. no..

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It works a 1000 times more effectively just because either all of them are bluffing or they’re scared Dick’s not.