@pscentral Event 14: Your Url ↳ Oliver Stark (insp)

i think everyone needs to adopt “i didnt say it was good, i said i liked it” into their vocabulary right now. it did me wonders

Bruce once said, half-jokingly, that anyone who wanted to marry any of his kids had to beat hik in single combat first. Unfortunately, joking on the Bat looks dead serious to everyone not in his circle, so now Wally is busy learning Muay Thai, Roy is brushing up on Krav Maga, and Conner has resigned himself to living in sin. Steph just figures she'd ask Cass to fight her battles for her.

Conner: I’m sorry. I love you, but we can never marry.

Tim, thinking about who he might need to politely go ask Jason to take care of:

Conner, entirely serious: I’m never going to be able to beat your dad.

Tim, hearing “beat UP” because he was thinking about Jason punching Luthor:

Tim: I feel like further explanation might be necessary here.

Wally: Okay. I think I’m ready to fight Batman.

Dick, only half paying attention: *nods* I understand completely. I have the same urge all the time.

Jason: What do you MEAN you can’t marry me because Batman will beat you?

Roy: But Bruce said-

Jason: I don’t care what Bruce said. Actually, no. I do care. How DARE he-

*cut to Jason fighting Batman*

Roy: So does this count, or…

Bruce, at six am in a bathrobe and slippers: Steph, what are you doing here?

Steph: Outsourcing.

Cass: *comes flying at Batman from two stories above*

wheres seasons greasons

9-1-1 Masterlist (Buddie)

We aren't like a Hallmark's movie (41,215 words), Language: English, Rating: T

Summary: After ten years away from Spring Falls, Maddie convinced Buck to go back there for Christmas. That means two things: Buck is going to see Eddie again, and he's completely fucked. OR: The Hallmark movie fic nobody asked for but I wrote anyway.

Want me to teach you, pretty boy? (1.321 words), Language: English, Rating: M

Summary: “Oh damn, Eddie… I didn't know you had moves.” Buck couldn’t help himself, he let all his need for him bleed through his tone. If Buck was really just making jokes to hide that he almost creamed his pants watching Eddie do those twirls… It was just for him to know. But for Eddie’s face, Buck knew he wasn’t fooling anybody. OR: The one where Eddie tries to teach Buck how to dance and... things happen.

Dino-nuggies for four (2.230 words), Language: English, Rating: T

Summary: He was smiling like an idiot, like he did every time he thought about Buck, when his phone rang in the living-room. Buck’s sweet face was flashing on his screen, and he picked up without thinking about it. “Hey Buck. What’s up?” “Eddie…” He knew that tone. Buck wanted something and was about to sweet talk Eddie into it. And usually Eddie would end up surrendering, for sure. But not today, Satan. “No.” Short answers, cutting answers. He could get through it. He could say no to Buck. OR: The one where Buck finds a puppy.

Possessive behavior (2.878 words), Language: English, Rating: E

Summary: To say that Buck got a bit over-possessive was a big understatement. Eddie acted like it amused him, he didn’t care about that kind of things, but the truth was that he loved every second of it. Normally, Buck was the one getting fucked, the one taking it all. Eddie was as demanding and dominating, and it worked really well for them that way. But every once in a while he just wanted Buck to lose control and mark him all up. Eddie didn’t know how to tell Buck that, so when Ana appeared… Everything fell into place. OR: Buck gets really possessive when he’s jealous and just wants Eddie to remember that he’s his.

Concussions of love (5.000 words), Language: English, Rating: T

Summary: He picked up the call, instantly saying: “Hey! Did something happen? Is Chris okay? Do you need me to come back home?” He said all that in only one breath, feeling tension building up on his spine. He left the coloring book he was looking at for Chris and started walking to the car without even hearing what Buck had to say. “Hey dad!” That wasn’t Buck. Oh no. Why was Christopher calling him? Why from Buck’s phone? OR: Buck gets hurt and confesses to Eddie being high on painkillers.

Right place, right time (1.298 words), Language: English, Rating: G

Summary: Since the first time Buck saw Eddie, he knew he was done for. He was so handsome, and so strong… And had the most beautiful eyes he’d ever seen. But when he got to know him? Good lord, he fell fast and hard for him. How could he not? He was everything. But he was still with Abby, so he didn’t do anything about it. They became best friends, and Buck was content with having Eddie in his life, any way he could. OR: Buck and Eddie had the worst timing in the world, life always getting in the way of THEM... Wrong place, wrong time. Over and over... Until the time comes.

Pin me to the wall, I’m an art piece (6.146 words), Language: English, Rating: E

Summary: Then Buck showed up at their next shoot with a hickey in his neck, Eddie saw red. His whole vision turned the color of blood, and he could only think of who he was. Who did that to Buck. Why wasn’t Eddie the one who did it. They were supposed to do some more underwear shoots today, and Buck had a hickey. A hickey. Right there, for everyone to see. OR: Buck shows up at a shooting with a hickey on his neck and Eddie (finally) does something about it.

The kids had sex, Chim (5.353 words), Language: English, Rating: E

Summary: Buck entered the station and tried to say hello, but it sounded like a rusty door, making Hen and Chim turn to him in full emergency mode. Buck didn’t usually get sick, he had all his shots and he tried to stay as healthy as possible, so when he walked directly to the kettle Hen bought not too long ago, trying to prepare something for his throat, everyone was instantly on him. He wasn’t a fan of tea, he just had it when he was feeling a bit down. Or in this case, when his throat felt like it had been mauled. Which wasn’t too far away from the truth. “Are you sick?” Chim asked, taking a step back. Since he and Maddie had the baby, he tried to avoid anybody who sneezed around him. And even though Buck didn’t sneeze, he looked miserable and had no voice. Even though it was for other reasons. “Did you get the flu?” Hen asked at the same time, approaching him. They had concern and worry written all over her face. OR: Buck and Eddie's extra activities got Buck's voice all fucked up (pun intended).

Feel the stretch (of love) (16.201 words), Language: English, Rating: M

Summary: It all started because of Carla. She recommended Eddie some yoga classes for Chris. It didn’t matter what Eddie expected to see when he approached the class, it still took him completely off guard when he arrived there and the first thing he saw was a bunch of women outside the glass window looking into the class. And then they made space for Eddie to look inside the class and he almost swallowed his tongue. Fuck. That was the teacher? He was tall as fuck, probably taller than Eddie himself, and he was ripped. Like super ripped. Gym bro type of ripped. The ones Eddie looked at the gym and sighed because they looked dumb. But him? Damn. Eddie wanted to kneel in front of him and pray to him like a God. OR:The one where Buck is Chris' yoga teacher and Eddie has conflicted feelings about it.

Please notice me (3.012 words), Language: English, Rating: T

Summary: Buck flirted with everything that moved except Eddie and he desperately craved Buck's attention and by the time Buck finally flirted at him Eddie couldn't think straight (pun intended). That’s why it was such a surprise when his flirting was directed to Eddie. He wasn't expecting it AT ALL. He surprised him so much that he dropped the hose he was carrying back to the truck and the whole station looked at him. He made an idiot out of himself because Buck’s attention was on him. For the first time ever, Buck was flirting with him. OR: Two obvious idiots trying to flirt... and failing.

Whoever you love the most (2.521 words), Language: English, Rating: T

Summary: “What did you do?” Eddie said, instantly concerned. “Are you okay? Did you get hurt?” He added, just to make sure Buck understood he wasn’t really mad. Eddie was pretty sure he would have noticed if Buck was injured, but maybe he got something under his clothes that he hadn’t seen, they didn’t exactly have time to do anything in the morning before they had to go to work. / Buck scratched the back of his neck, still avoiding Eddie’s eyes. “Eeeeh… Not exactly.” That didn’t sound good. / “What do you mean not exactly?” Eddie inquired, his mind racing and thinking of a thousand possible scenarios of things Buck could have done the past night. It could be anything. / “I got a tattoo…” Buck blurted out before Eddie could spiral too far into possibilities. Eddie blinked a few times, looking at Buck like he grew a second head. Not comprehending what he was saying. What kind of person got a tattoo on a night out? Apparently his boyfriend did. OR: Drunk Buck and gets a name tattooed and it's not Eddie's.

Seal it with a kiss (2.888 words), Language: English, Rating: T

Summary: Buck took a sip of his coffee, trying to gain some time. “Their parents loved each other so much they wanted to bring another baby into the world to share some more love.” Buck tried. That didn’t sound great either, but at least it was something. / Eddie realized that exact moment when they fucked up, and the next thing he knew was that Chris was screaming: “Then you two can make a baby!” Eddie choked again and Buck almost spilled his coffee. Oh shit. / “What!?” They said in unison. / “You said they loved each other so much they had a baby, so you two can have one, too. You love each other so much, right?” Chris asked. And he wasn’t wrong, Eddie knew he wasn’t wrong. OR: Chris asks for a baby brother or sister and two idiots realize their feelings for each other because of it.

You taught me what hope was (2.002 words), Language: English, Rating: G

Summary: Eddie felt two little points of pressure and Chris was screaming. "Dad! DAD WAKE UP!" His son’s hands shaking him awake, he opened his eyes and was momentarily blinded by the light. And then everything came back in a big rush of emotions and desperation, coughing and breathing hard, trying to get some air in his lungs. He breathed hard as ever, like if his lungs found oxygen for the first time. / It took him a few seconds to catch up with reality, his breathing still coming fast and shallow, but his worries came back at him when he realized Chris was in front of him crying. / “You were screaming. I thought something was wrong.” Christopher was trying to get out, his words not coming out right between sobs. OR: Chris wakes Eddie up from a nightmare and Buck shows up to comfort him, too.

4 times Ana realized her boyfriend had a boyfriend and 1 time Eddie did (3.350 words), Language: English, Rating: T

Summary: Looking back, she should have realized something was up when she spent the first night with Eddie. They entered the bathroom together, and Ana was touched when she saw the two toothbrushes in the cup. Eddie grabbed one of them, and Ana assumed the other one was there for her to take, Eddie must have placed it there. But when she tried to grab it, Eddie stopped her: / “Oh no. That- That one is Buck’s.” He said, opening the top cabinet and giving her a new one. Ana thought it was a bit weird, but she didn’t comment on it. / She almost forgot about it completely, but months later she would look back at that moment and just… know.

Dr. Diaz and his stupidly cute patient (9.622 words), Language: English, Rating: T

Summary: With the rush of fear of seeing his sister looking at him murderously, he didn’t pay attention to the doctor until he was close to Buck and then he was swallowing hard to contain the groan that threatened to escape his mouth. The doctor was gorgeous. Magazine cover worthy gorgeous. He was stunning, with the lab coat and a binder between his hands. He had the most amazing brown eyes and his hair looked so soft that Buck wanted to run his fingers through it until it was messy. / “Good afternoon, Mr. Buckley. Nice to see you back with us.” The doctor interrupted his inner thoughts which were basically singing poetry about how precious he was. Dang. Buck 1.0 would have asked for his number in that exact same moment. But he wasn’t like that anymore. Also, he probably looked like shit, so there was a very little chance of it working. OR: 5+1 times Buck had an accident and Dr. Diaz had to patch him up.

Eddie tries yoga (2.666 words), Language: English, Rating: T

Summary: It took Buck almost three months of dating to convince Eddie to try yoga. (And maybe a few kisses, too.) And at the end, all it took for him to be convinced was for Christopher to ask him. Of course it would be him, Buck cursed himself for not realizing it sooner. Christopher was his boyfriend’s weak point, he would do anything for his kid, and that fact made Buck love him even more. And Buck loved that kid with his life, too. He adored kids, but Christopher? He was so amazing, and accepted Buck into their family so easily… Buck felt himself dreaming about their family. About them as a family. The Buckley-Diaz household, hopefully soon. OR: The one where Buck convinces Eddie to try yoga and it goes wrong.

He was a nerd, he was a jock, could they make it more obvious? (WIP), Language: English, Rating: T

Summary: “Did you think about it?” Buck asked, sending Eddie his most charming smile. Eddie was now fully looking at him, calculating his next words. // “About what?” Eddie finally asked, guessed playing dumb could bring him some nice come back later. // “About our date.” Buck said, stealing another grape from Eddie’s tray. Eddie almost wanted to smack his hand away, but watching him eat it was mesmerizing. // But oh no, he chose the wrong guy to pick on. Eddie wasn’t going to take a step back or run in the opposite direction. “I thought we already went on a date.” He said, dead serious. “On your dreams last night.” OR: The Jock/Nerd cliché nobody asked for but I wrote either way.

Christmas cookies (2.428 words), Language: English, Rating: E

Summary: “Eddie, you need to stop doing that, I’m watching the cookies.” Buck says, but he inclines his head even more, so his husband can keep kissing him. Eddie hides a smirk as he bites down on the tendon of Buck’s neck and he feels his knees going weak under him. Eddie tightens his hold on his hips, supporting him. He looks so cute that Eddie wants to destroy him. Do him so good that he won’t be able to walk straight the next day. But they can’t be too loud, so something quick will do. / “Come on baby, let’s play.” His voice drops low, almost dangerous (in the best way possible). Buck shivers, goosebumps erupting all over him. OR: The one where Buck is preparing some gingerbread cookies and Eddie distracts him.

Chores (2.714 words), Language: English, Rating: G

Summary: His best friend had been on radio silence for the past two days. They had a few free days because of the Holidays, they couldn’t figure out how they got lucky enough this year that they managed to spend four whole days with their families. But Buck wasn’t answering, so it could be that he was doing something, but it was really strange for Buck not to contact Eddie to spend at least one of their free days together. Eddie was expecting him to call and go to the zoo with Christopher to watch the Christmas decorations and animal shaped lights this year. But when he didn’t say anything about it and he stopped answering his texts, Eddie started to get really worried. Because it happened before, Buck went into radio silence before and Eddie still had flashbacks about that fucking lawsuit, he didn’t want to be without Buck ever again. He had enough of that. So he did the next best thing he could think of: he showed up at his apartment. OR: The one where Buck is sick and Eddie takes care of him.

Snow in LA (2.027 words), Language: English, Rating: G

Summary: The one where Buck is a Christmas baby who loves snow, and Eddie makes everything he could to give him the best birthday present ever. With some feelings realizations in between.

Digital phallus portait (3.417 words), Language: English, Rating: E

Summary: Eddie was waiting for his turn in the grocery shopping when he felt his phone vibrating inside his pocket. He took it out to check it. Buck sent him a picture, it was probably just something that caught his attention, or maybe a duck. Eddie didn’t understand what made ducks so amazing, but Buck loved them, and every time he saw one he sent a pic to Eddie. So Eddie wasn’t expecting what Buck sent him. He opened the message innocently and holy fuck. That was a dick. A very large and thick dick. With a big hand around the base. Oh lord. A fucking dick pic. Not only a dick pic. Buck’s dick pic.

Magic pancakes (1.833 words), Language: English, Rating: G

Summary: When Christopher called him and said “Dad’s not okay.” between hiccups, Buck felt his heart stop, physically stop. Emotions rushed through him like a tide wave. He didn’t even remember what he told Taylor before he was sprinting through the door and inside his truck. He vaguely remembered her telling him some kind of ultimatum about him walking past that door and never coming back. Buck closed the door before she could finish the sentence. It was a shitty thing to do, he realized that now, but at the moment he just needed to get to Eddie. Eddie needed him. Christopher needed him. And the only thought in his brain was to get there. To get to them. He broke more than one traffic law on his way to the Diaz’s house. He would gladly pay the fee. OR The post-breakdown soft fic where Chris and Buck make magic pancakes for Eddie.

Don't go baking my heart (13.135 words), Language: English, Rating: T

Summary: “Buckley! Stop flirting with the victim, get back to the truck, we got another call!” The captain called from the firetruck, already getting inside. The pretty firefighter ducked his head, trying to hide a tiny smile, his face blushed. The paramedic laughed out loud at that. // “Is he always like that?” Shannon asked pointing at the pretty firefighter leaving, Eddie’s eyes following his motions. Eddie forgot she was even there. // “Nah, he’s just stupid around people he finds attractive.” The paramedic said before she finished packing her things and getting back in the ambulance. OR The baker!Eddie and firefighter!Buck being completly idiotic in love with each other fic nobody asked for but I wrote either way.

Hungry for you (2.590 words), Language: English, Rating: E

Summary: “I’m hungry.” Buck said, preening under Eddie’s graze. Eddie physically saw him buffing his chest and looking at him with the biggest heart eyes possible. He had gotten used to that look, Buck looked at him like that every day. He couldn’t believe his luck some days. // Eddie arched an eyebrow, he was ready to tease his boyfriend until he snapped. He could play all day. They had a free day and Chris wasn’t going to arrive until much, much later... “Go eat, then.” He said, full smirk on his face. It was a challenge, and both of them knew it fully well. He took his eyes off him and returned to the trout documentary, now talking about the danger of being eaten by bears. Interesting. // “No, you don’t get it. I’m hungry.” Buck insisted, pocking at his cheek again, crawling across the sofa until he was almost on top of Eddie.

Jason and Family

Jason: I kinda hate you guys right now, not gonna lie.

Jason: Except you, Alfred, of course.

Alfred: Of course, sir.

Jason: And you, Duke. You’re cool.

Duke: Thanks man.

Jason: And Steph, platonic love of my life, you’re great.

Steph: Aww, thanks.

Jason: Cass? You are a perfect angel who occasionally incites unbelievable amounts of chaos and I love you.

Cass: Love you too.

Jason: Babs? Thanks for that thing you did.

Babs: No problem.

*a few concerned looks*

Jason: Damian, you’re fine.

Damian: You are acceptable as well.

Steph, stage whispering: It’s how they show love.

Jason: Bruce, go to hell.

Bruce, sighing: You can’t patrol in a zombie Easter bunny costume.

Jason: It would be hilarious and you know it.

Jason: Anyway, Tim? You are a menace to society but most importantly to Lex Luthor and I appreciate your contribution to his continued suffering.

Tim: Thanks.

Jason: And as for YOU!

Dick: *nervous giggle*

Jason: YOU.

Dick: Heh-eh, yeah, that’s me. I’m me, I mean, I-

Jason: Just what do you have to say for yourself, young man?

Dick: Young man? I’m older than you!

Jason: Fine. Old man. Whatever.

Dick: I’m not old!

Tim, under his breath: Oh my word.

Jason: Well?

Dick: Uh-Huh, so, funny story, but-

Steph: *loud crunching sounds from popcorn*

Everyone: *looks at Steph*

Steph: What?

Bruce: Where did you get popcorn?

Steph: It’s my superpower. Continue.

Jason: Gladly. YOU!

Dick: I feel like we did this part already.

Jason: Well?

Duke: Can we skip to the part where we find out what he did?

Jason: What he did! Do you know what he did?

Damian: No, and at this rate we never will.

Jason, ignoring that: He got me banned from 14 countries and 8 different airlines.

Cass: Well at least that’s not going to stop you.

Dick: And I said I was sorry.

Steph: Wait, back up. How did HE get YOU banned?

Jason: *gesturing for Dick to explain*

Dick: I, uh, panicked and pretended to be Jason?

Everyone:

Tim: Okay I feel like that needs some explaining.

Bruce: *loud, drawn out sigh*

Alfred: Knowledge is a burden, Master Bruce.

Bruce: Ignorance is bliss? *goes to stand up*

Alfred: Nice try.

Bruce: *sits back down*

Puki will you leave tumblr because everyone’s acting like it’s dead now :(

oh yeah its SO dead.

1000 notes this post. Now

#he was really going through it

"I'm gonna fuck your mom" "I'm going to get my adoptive billionaire dad to sleep with both of your parents and they're both going to fall in love with him and write you out of their will, fuckhead."

(Schoolyard threat from an unknown Wayne child, provided to the Gazette in March 2013. Bruce Wayne, responding via email, denied all allegations of an improper relationship and declared it "entirely spontaneous and consensual."

Mr. and Mrs. [redacted] could not be reached for comment, but court records indicate that Mr. [redacted] began divorce proceedings in April of 2013.)