I’m Not “The Archer”, But I’m Arching My Back To Reach As Far As Possible. Lol

I’m Not “The Archer”, but I’m Arching My Back to Reach As Far As Possible. Lol

(**DISCLAIMER: This is just my own personal opinion. I am not connected to Taylor in any way, so don’t take as gospel. I’m looking at this from the perspective of a closeted relationship, so any mention of her being gay or ‘closeted’ or ‘in the closet’ is alleged she herself has not said this. In addition, I am not calling this a breakup song or insinuating there was a breakup, so don’t come for me. Lol**)

I have listened to this song probably 1,000 times since it was released on yesterday and with every single listen, I get a little more emotional. To me, this is a song about doubt, self-doubt, anxiety & insecurity in a relationship and as a lover/partner. Feeling like you’re losing someone or that you’re going to lose them—not because of a fight or because someone cheated, but because you’ve been searching for this type of love for God knows how long and now that it’s here in front of you, it scares you. It’s kind of like when you suddenly win the lottery and you’ve never had such a significant amount of money. It’s overwhelming and you don’t know how to react to or handle it.

“Combat. I’m ready for combat I say I don’t want that, but what if I do? Cause cruelty wins in the movies I’ve got a hundred thrown-out speeches I almost said to you”

Perhaps in past relationships, she lost people because they were ready to take that next step and she wasn’t? Maybe she had painted those people in a specific light/in this perfect image in her eyes, but things happened that have caused them to change or changed her view of them and she didn’t know how to fix it, so she “jumps from the train and rides alone”. She doesn’t like conflict so she avoids it. She didn’t want to put up a fight then, but now she wants to fight, even though she doesn’t like conflict/confrontation. Taylor is ready for war. She’s ready to fight for the happy ending. However, her current lover places her on such a high pedestal and sees her so differently than she/everyone else does that she doubts herself as a lover/partner and doesn’t feel that she’s deserving of it. She’s a mess, but she’s the mess that her lover wants.

“Cruelty wins in the movies” because even though there’s almost always a happy ending, it’s not real. In real life, there aren’t always happy endings, so the ‘cruelty’ in that is that movies force-feed the notion that there is always a happy ending. People get so attached to this fictional concept that it’s almost like you’ve been lied to because, in real life, relationships just aren’t like the ones we see in movies. Love isn’t something that’s figured out in an hour and 30 minutes. In real life, Aladdin might not end up with Jasmine. Belle might choose an asshole like Gaston.

I think the “hundred thrown out speeches” are things Taylor never said to her lover because the consequences of telling someone how you really feel (rejection) are terrifying and now she wishes she had and realizes she still can. Maybe she’s admitting that she didn’t feel ‘emotionally mature’ or realizes that she can’t use naivety anymore as she’s getting older and in her own words:

Playing mind games is for the chase. In a real relationship or friendship, you’re shooting yourself in the foot if you don’t tell the other person how you feel, and what could be done to fix it. No one is a mind reader. If someone really loves you, they want you to verbalize how you feel. This is real life, not chess.

“Who could ever leave me, darling But who could stay? Dark side, I search for your dark side But what if I’m alright, right, right, right here? And I cut off my nose just to spite my face Then I hate my reflection for years and years

I think she’s so used to searching and ending up disappointed or being happy and having to sacrifice that happiness that she tries to find something wrong with a person or tries to find a way to hurt them so they’ll leave. However, her lover doesn’t bite and now there’s a lot of unnecessary pain/self-inflicted wounds that are slow to heal. Now, it’s like Taylor is realizing the person she’s looking for is the person she’s with and that it’s always been them. The one who could leave her when she’s tried to sabotage the relationship hasn’t whereas anyone else would have. In NYD she promised her lover that she would stay when they were lost and scared and turning away; but in The Archer, the tables are turned: the lover has stayed while Taylor is the one who’s lost, scared & turning away.

“I wake in the night, I pace like a ghost The room is on fire, invisible smoke And all of my heroes die all alone Help me hold on to you Screaming, who could ever leave me, darling, But who could stay? (I see right through me, I see right through me) Cause they see right through me They see right through me They see right through Can you see right through me? They see right through They see right through me I see right through me I see right through me All the king’s horses, all the king’s men Couldn’t put me together again Cause all of my enemies started out friends Help me hold on to you”

This part is where the song got really emotional for me. The anxiety, doubt, and insecurities she has about the relationship and the added weight of being closeted keeps her up at night. She paces like a ghost meaning she hides her feelings. “They” (people) hear her, but don’t really hear her. They see her, but don’t really see her. She doesn’t know who she is anymore, but she knows that this whole front she puts up isn’t the real her. She asks her lover if they can see through her as well. It kinda sounds like she’s crying out for help or to be saved. After all “to be truly seen is a far greater freedom than to be invisible.” (credit to Spade). This is also why I recommend the film “Beyond the Lights” to people.

The people who would normally help her can’t fix this. People she’d normally call for help aren’t there anymore. Not because of a falling out necessarily, but sometimes you’re the only one who can help yourself. Like Spade said:

“as I laid there unaware, the sun came to me and whispered its warmth into my broken parts | Slowly, I turned to her, and said “Are you saving me?” | She responded with truth “No, you decide your fate.”

She’s been the archer (the one who chases) and the prey (the chased). She’s been the archer (the one in control) and the prey (the vulnerable one). She’s been the archer—the one who’s taken shots and the prey—the one who’s taken shots.

Now, she’s confident. Now, she’s ready for combat.