I Have To Do This Every Year Or Two, When Vertigo Strikes. Every Time, I'm In Awe Of Dr. Foster For Inventing

Compliment them. That person you think has their shit together and wouldn't need it or want to hear it. They do. They absolutely do. Their shit is dispersed. I promise you. It is a shambles.

I've had someone tell me to my face that they would compliment me, but for the fact that I already know this or that about myself. Huh???? No. Sorry.

No I don't. In my weaker moments I become an ungrateful mud monkey that has never once internalized a compliment

I adore being told you like me or something I've done. It sustains me, and in my weaker moments when I forget that life is good and happy, you might catch me before I fall.

You ever had someone catch you like that? You can do it too. The ones that catch you have been you in that moment before and know they will be again.

Daily "avoiding hopelessness" checklist

Hey, friends. I know I've been really struggling to look towards the future with any kind of hope, so here are some little things I've been trying to do every day that might help you, too.

Accept that your productivity might look weird right now. Don't expect yourself to act as if nothing is wrong.

Make art. I try to write something every day, even if I don't really feel like it, and I've found that once I get into it, I'm grateful I did.

Do something to plan for the future. Doesn't have to be big. Even getting some ice cream you know future you will thank you for counts.

Eat. Even if you're not hungry. I keep skipping meals because I don't feel like eating, and then I force myself to make something and realize I was absolutely starving.

Clean up one thing in your space. If doing all the dishes and sweeping the floors and putting away laundry all feel too overwhelming, try just doing one of those things.

Lean on your online and offline communities. I live in a county that voted trump by a margin of eighty percent. My world feels scary and hostile right now, and it's my communities that are helping me feel hopeful.

Try to find one thing that feels normal. One thing that feels safe and normal and helps you feel a bit more grounded. My local grocery store just got their shipment of chocolate oranges in for the season. That's my thing.

Try to find one thing to look forward to, no matter how small. My thing is checking my ao3 inbox for comments on my fics.

Love you all <3

Just a short video of my card weaving in progress

Light Cues

From the "find what works" department of my life...

I was telling my prescribing psychiatrist about this and he really loved it, and it occurred to me I'm not sure I've ever talked about it on here, but I've started using light cues instead of alarms for some things.

I don't use a lot of alarms regularly throughout the day (I don't need one to wake up unless I'm getting up at an unusual time, for example) but I use them for one-off stuff like "time to start getting ready to go out" or "today you have a doctor's appointment". I found after a while that with an alarm for a regular repeating task, there comes a point where I just silence it and forget to do the thing. Like, I have almost all notifications on my phone turned off and it's still muscle memory for me, as it is for many people, to have my phone beep for attention and just silence it unthinkingly. So I started using lighting cues.

It's evolved a lot, starting with the end of the workday. The lighting in my bedroom is all floor lamps; the one over my work desk is on a smart switch, which plugs into the wall and then the lamp plugs into the switch. I set the switch to turn the lamp on at 8am just before I start work, and off at 4:30pm to remind me to stop work, which I don't always remember to do. The light suddenly going out makes that corner unpleasantly dim, and it's more work to turn it back on (open phone, open app, fin the right switch) than it is to stop work for the day.

Then I thought, this is so irritating it must be useful for other things. So I set it to go off from noon to 12:03pm. It's more of a pain in the ass to turn it back on than it is to get up, go to the kitchen, and do what I'm supposed to do at noon anyway: take my second Adderall dose. And the light is back on by the time I get back.

But I was running into the problem of taking the dose on an empty stomach as you're supposed to, but not having eaten since breakfast at like 5am. And now I'm in the kitchen. Having forgotten to eat my Early Lunch at 10:30. But the Adderall needs like 20 minutes to kick in before I eat, and by the I'm back at work, and then I wonder why I eat my body weight in pasta at 5pm.

So I set a light cue for 10:30 to remind me to take a break and eat. But I don't want to use the same cue for everything. The lamp on the other end of the bedroom doesn't have a smart switch but it does have a smart bulb, which is even more flexible, so at 10:30am it dims to 50% (irritating) and turns deep blue (doubly irritating). I leave the room, go eat lunch, and usually come back to sit on the bed with the cats for a few minutes. I don't mind the dim blue light when I'm on the bed -- I just can't work with it that way. So at 11 the light goes back to full white brightness and I get my cue to go back to work.

I have various other cues -- the living room lamps go off and the LED string on the headboard in the bedroom goes on low and red to indicate it's bedtime, and the LEDs go off a little later to remind me NO, it is BEDTIME NOW.

Obviously a lot of this is only possible with either analog daily timers or smart bulbs/switches, and those can be cost-prohibitive for some while others don't like having their lighting on the internet. But it's all switches and bulbs that I can remove easily, and they've come down a great deal in price -- mine are all Kasa brand so they're controlled from a single app, and I've found them extremely helpful.

Plus sometimes at night I put all the lights to deep blue and pretend I'm underwater and that's fun.

You do not need to heal the way they believe you should. You do not need to be the person they expect you to be after trauma.

It’s okay to just be you. It’s okay to heal in a way that makes sense to you. And honestly, it should be about you. It’s more than okay to take care of yourself how you need to.

Science side of Tumblr PLEASE share your tips/advice/hacks for academic conferences!

Im attending my first academic conference in a couple weeks and I’d appreciate anything you’d like to share with a lil baby bio undergrad like me

as a fairly successful woman with ADHD i will tell you that the two strongest tools in your kit are "be so competent they don't notice you're unmanageable" and "strategically deploy weaponized incompetence to avoid having to do things you hate" and a third is "learn a little about a lot of subjects so you'll always be able to make small talk and network because when people like you as a person they'll overlook a lot of personal failings." it's honestly that straightforward

Here's my tagging system, at least for now.

#mist speaks - look it's me. saying things

#not advice - stuff that's not tips or advice

#adulting - stuff about adulting. A couple subcategories including:

#cleaning - stuff about cleaning or organizing

#jobs - stuff about job etiquette: applying, working, and more

#college - stuff about college. textbooks and more.

#food

#technology - stuff about technology.

#internet tips - tech tips specifically for the internet. Often cool websites.

#hobbies - resources for new hobbies/activities

#mental health - general mental health resources

#adhd - tips specifically for adhd

#autism - tips specifically for autism

#political - political things or advice

#us medical system - tips for us medical system/insurance.

#reminders - general reminders

#social - tips for social interaction and stuff

#lgbtq - queer stuff

#cool things - cool stuff or things

#science - science things

It's very endearing to me how many people are willing to keep an eye on a video feed so they can push a button and let a fish in the Netherlands get to the other side of a dam.

I realized I've got a lot of advice bookmarks, largely on Tumblr, so I figured I'd put them here for easier access. I'll try to maintain a tagging system lol