Nattylube - Kitty

i broke a nail at work on tuesday, then got nausea and hot flashes and peeled the skin off my hand sliding down the wall, and the next day cut another finger. i am she. she is me. we are one.

I hurt my back pretty reasonably at work today and unfortunately I couldn’t stop laughing because my first thought was “workplace injury barbie”

u wanna pet that dawg?

if i recall correctly crocodilians don’t have a very kinetic skull like at all, which provides death-force to their bite but that’s about it. so they have their lil teefies to try to chomp thru, bite down, & snatch their prey. which is why their throat is a big ole gaping hole, bc they can’t sit there and masticate the way we do. so they swallow things in gigantor chunks.

Yeah you're right. It WOULD be pretty fucked up if you were a swan but you were raised by ducks and you grew up never seeing another swan or even knowing that such a thing as a swan even existed so you just thought you were a duck with something super wrong with it.

gimmie

just see two good boys

true story i went to this bar in san diego and the bathroom was unisex w three stalls. i walk in and the first one is pretty gross, second one is a black commode with a black light bulb directly over head and all i can tell is it appears to be COVERED in piss, more than i thought a toilet seat could hold. i go to the THIRD stall and it’s STACKED with toilet paper just coming up & out the bowl. so i’m like jfc ok and i go back to the first one to squat over it. i’m mid pissin and this lady comes in and does the same thing except much more vocal. she goes to her first (my third) and is like **ew wtf**. and i’m like oh no baby wait. she hits the second and loud asf goes “IS THIS A MFKIN JOKE??” and went back to the other one, flushed it and i’m guessing did her business. i bout fell on my own filthy assseat bc my body locked up trying not to laugh.

i was blowed out when it happened and the first time i told the story but imma think about it every time i go shopping in the public restroom