ANTON COMBO 2024
Inappropriate places he likes to fuck you.
Itto, Ayato, Thoma, Tighnari x Reader
A/N: I apologize in advance, this is not nearly as smutty as I wanted it to be. It takes me like 300 words to set up the scene and then I end up getting too lazy to finish it looooollllll,,, i’ll do better i promise (honestly this is not the first tighnari smut ive written…. i have an old draft from when he first came out where he chases you and then fucks you teehee)
WC - 2.3kish
SMUT // NSFW ((reader w a pussy))
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˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ Internet Cafe Love ˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖
synopsis: The white haired boy who regularly visits the same internet cafe as you becomes your boyfriend but can your relationship survive when his best friend seems distrustful of you?
warnings: 7,915 words (long one shot with multiple settings),Nagi X female reader, gamer Nagi, per fluff no smut since it is written while he attends high school still.
You had often noticed the white haired boy at the internet cafe as he seemed to go nearly every night the way you did.
While you also brought projects and subjects to study on the side when you were taking a break, you noticed he never took breaks, the clicking of the keyboard and mouse were constant companions. This had led to you bringing your own noise canceling headphones that were much more soundproof than the gamer ones that came with the PC set at the cafe.
That was your current situation, headphones in practicing a new writing style of kanji when you felt a light tapping on your headphones. You glanced up and towering over you was the white haired boy. He wore an oversized gray sweatshirt and black sweatpants. You moved your headphones around your neck.
“Did you need something?” You asked, meeting his gray eyes.
“Do you have any money?” He asked straightforwardly.
“Money? What for?” You asked, looking him up and down again. He didn’t seem in need based on his lounge outfit and you now noticed the light up rainbow keyboard he had under his arm. It had gone unnoticed before since his tall domineering figure was the main spectacle.
“Lemon tea. I wanna buy one from the vending machine but I’m low on money because I spent it all on this and the gacha games on my phone,” he said motioning to the keyboard.
You raised a brow at not only his abruptness but also his poor money management. You had some cash on you but weren’t too keen on giving it up since you planned on getting food at your favorite food stand after you left the cafe.
“Well I don’t have any money,” you said.
“Bummer,” he replied, not sounding convinced as he plopped down in the spot next to you and began removing the default keyboard and setting his own up to the PC.
You bit the inside of your cheek, chewing on it a little to hide your annoyance. Now he was gonna be right next to you making all this noise.
“Do you really have to sit here?” You asked.
He looked over at you as the PC booted up, his gray eyes seeming slightly hurt.
“Is that a problem?” He asked. The way he asked made you feel guilty. Yes he was a bit eccentric and odd but so far he was harmless.
“No it’s fine,” you said. By now your kanji was forgotten and you watched as he opened a first person shooter game and signed into his account.
“God of soccer?” You teased regarding his gamertag.
“Oh yeah I’m on the soccer team at Hakuho High School,” he said.
This guy went to the elite prep school? He didn’t seem like the type. You yourself were in the neighboring public school.
“I wasn’t aware Hakuho had a team,” you stated as he loaded into a game.
“My friend Reo and I started the club up so we’d have a team to go to nationals.” His focus was now on his game however as he had chosen a sniper character. You watched as he hit every headshot. He was eerily good at the game and you didn’t miss how match chat came up with the enemy team accusing him of using aimbot. When his team won the game he exited the queue and remained on the menu and looked over at you as he had been aware you were watching the whole time.
“You’re really good, how long have you played that game?” You asked.
“Just a few months now,” he said, shrugging.
“And you aim that good already?” You asked in disbelief. You weren’t half bad yourself and had always considered your aim to be impressive but his was godly.
“I grew up playing first person shooter games,” he said as if it was no big deal. He glanced at your notepad before adding, “what’s with the studying?”
You blushed.
“I alternate between studying and gaming,” you answered his question.
“No, I mean I see you studying here all the time even when it’s not exam season,” he said. So he had noticed you before as well? That was to be expected as you were both regulars.
“I just like to study consistently,” you replied. He made a face and you added, “you don’t? You go to Hakuho, surely that’s more rigorous than my public school.”
“Well sure but I just study a few days before the exams. Hey, are you sure you don’t have any money? I could really use that lemon tea.”
His delivery made you wanna laugh. He was easy going and charming all without meaning to be and yet he was still odd, you hadn’t ever met anyone like him before.
“I'm still thinking about it. Do you have a name or is it just god of soccer?” You asked.
He chuckled.
“My name is Seishiro Nagi. What’s yours?”
“Y/N Y/LN,” you replied, telling him your first and last name as well.
“Nice,” he replied, “you wanna play some games?”
The two of you were duos on the same team with him playing the sniper character again and you his support offering him both damage boosts and heals. Between both of your combined skills and efforts the two of you went on an eight game win streak.
An hour of gaming had gone by even though it didn’t feel like it and the two of you decided to call it quits.
“So Y/N,” he started.
“No about the lemon tea,” you joked. He shook his head.
“Forget about that. I have a home game tomorrow at my school in the evening. The match starts at two. You should come,” he said. You noticed the slight pinking of his ears when he said it.
“I’ll try to go,” you said. You did enjoy playing with him even though originally you had felt slightly annoyed by his presence.
“You should, our school’s marching band is gonna be there too for the first time,” he said. He finished unplugging his keyboard and putting the original one back and stood up. He scrolled through his phone quickly before adding, “will you be back online tonight? Maybe we could play some more too.”
You felt your heart somersault at how he sounded hopeful.
“I may but I’m not sure I don’t usually play late.”
“Bummer. Hey Y/N?”
You prepared to be asked about the damn lemon tea again.
“What?”
“Do you have a boyfriend?” He asked shyly.
“No I don’t.”
“Good keep it that way. I’ll see you online tonight,” he said quickly before waving bye and taking off.
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You were back home in your room that night freshly showered and sitting on your bed getting ready to settle in for the night and watch TV.
You heard a notification from your PC and received the notification on your phone as well through the gaming app.
It was Nagi using the whisper feature where you could message online friends direct messages.
GodOfSoccer: get on
You smiled at his eagerness.
SleepyKoala: Kinda don’t want to I’m tired
GodOfSoccer: don’t care I wanna play with you
SleepyKoala: Nagi we played so much today
GodOfSoccer: true well are you coming to my game tomorrow?
SleepyKoala: Yes
GodOfSoccer: WOHOO LETS GOOO
GodOfSoccer: forgot to say earlier cute gamertag
SleepyKoala: Thanks :)
GodOfSoccer: give me your number
You did and not even a minute went by before you got a message from him. It was a plushie of a koala on his desk next to his PC monitor. You also caught a view of the rainbow keyboard from earlier. You created a contact ID for him and added a koala emoji to the end of his name.
You: Cute plushie
Nagi: he says thank you. I’m gonna game a bit I’ll see you tomorrow
You: see you
You then settled at last to watch more of the Netflix show you were currently binging until you lulled to sleep.
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The next morning you woke up at noon having slept in later than you would have liked. After doing your morning routine and eating, you made your way to the supermarket to buy a lemon tea for Nagi.
You hadn’t been able to ignore the butterflies that you had gotten thinking about him. You had checked his online status and had noticed he had stayed up until one in the morning gaming.
Supermarket mission successful, you began to make your way to Nagi’s high school. You had timed your schedule perfectly so the metro would arrive at 1:30 giving you enough time to head to the stadium before the game started. Your outfit of choice was casual with a tote bag to hold the lemon tea and your noise canceling headphones though you doubted you’d need them.
Arriving at the school on time you couldn’t help but notice how much more expensive everything seemed. You knew it was an elite academy but as you followed the crowd into the stadium you noticed just how much the school invested into its extracurriculars.
“Y/N!”
You turned around and there was Nagi coming up to you.
“Hey Nagi,” you replied feeling slightly shy from your flirtatious exchanges with him.
“You like the stadium? Reo’s dad is this mega rich guy and he donated the funds and manpower to build it. He doesn’t care for soccer but he frequently donates funds to the school for them to use for whatever purpose they’d like.”
You nodded. He looked handsome in his soccer uniform, the black jersey, shorts and black socks contrasting against his white hair and skin.
“Oh before I forget, since you kept asking yesterday,” you said, taking the tea bottle out of the tote bag and giving it to him. That made him laugh in glee.
“Thanks for this,” he said gratefully.
“Nagi! We need to warm up!” A purple haired figure shouted as he ran over. When he caught up to where the two of you were his equally purple eyes were distrustful of you.
“Reo. This is Y/N. Remember I told you about her?” Nagi said.
So this was Reo? His suspicious eyes took you all in.
“Yeah I remember. Nice to meet you,” he said but his words didn’t match his tone or expression.
“Nice to meet you too. Nagi’s talked a lot about you as well,” you said and you noticed that did soften his eyes a bit if not fully.
Nagi seemed oblivious.
“Y/N, if you sit there you’ll have a good view of me,” he said pointing to a specific section before continuing, “and I want you to look at me not any of these other guys.”
His words sent a jolt of heat between your legs and to your face but you simply nodded and assured him you’d be watching him.
“Nagi,” Reo scolded impatiently, “we have to warm up.”
“Alright alright,” he said following him but yelling back to you, “stay after. Text me if you can’t find me.”
You headed to the section he had designated would have the best view of him.
Throughout the game Nagi had lived up to his gamertag. He truly was a god of soccer. He was lightning bolt fast his legs moved just as fast as you had seen his fingers were capable on the keyboard.
He also worked incredibly well with Reo. They were a dynamic duo on the field and the passes between them were strategic.
When Nagi had scored a goal he had looked directly at you and pointed, unmistakably claiming it had been for you.
His team was in the lead right now and you hoped it would remain that way.
During the halfway break, you waited eagerly waiting to see him again. When they came back his eyes searched for you instantly and met yours sending you a sweet smile. As expected his team won and you cheered happily for him. As others started leaving the stadium you waited for him afterwards like he had asked you to.
You didn’t have to wait longer than ten minutes. He was racing towards you, changed clothes, freshly showered and his gym bag over his shoulder. To your dismay you noticed Reo tagging along behind. It’s not that you didn’t like him, you just didn’t understand his scowls and distrustful attitude toward you.
“Y/N! Did you like the game?” He asked, standing in front of the railing of the seat you had remained at.
“I did. It was so great seeing you score,” you said.
“I wanted to score for you,” he said, his cheeks turning pink. “Hey Reo and I are gonna go get something to eat. Do you wanna come?”
Your eyes dashed to Reo a second after Nagi asked the question and you could tell he was exasperated.
“That’s okay I think I’m just gonna head home,” you said softly.
Of course you wanted to spend time with Nagi but you couldn’t risk Reo disliking you even more after all he is Nagi’s best friend his opinion must count for something.
Nagi, still oblivious to all this, furrowed his brows in confusion.
“Okay. Well when can I see you again?” He asked. He seemed hurt that you weren’t coming.
“I’m free tomorrow. Maybe text me later and we can come up with something,” you offered, not feeling comfortable under Reo’s purple gaze.
“Okay I will. Thanks for coming, it really means a lot,” he said, giving you a sideways hug now as you stepped down from the bench you had been sitting at. He towered over you and he smelled incredibly good.
“You’re welcome. I enjoyed every minute of it.”
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“So how long have you and Reo known each other?” You asked as you took another mouthful of ramen. When you had gone home yesterday you had gotten caught up on school work and chores. Nagi had texted you at night and asked if you wanted to play some games to which you had agreed. Somewhere between steam rolling the enemy teams and playing silly custom games in the arcade he had suggested going out for ramen and boba the next night.
Now as the two of you sat in the restaurant’s outdoor patio seating with red paper lanterns illuminating the night sky you were interested in knowing more about his best friend who didn’t seem to take to you.
“Not too long. I met him here at school probably six months ago,” he replied.
“He seems very fond of you,” you said.
Nagi shrugged.
“Reo got me into soccer and I have him to thank for that. Before him no one really talked to me at school.”
This surprised you. He was good looking and charming, sure a bit strange and had his quirks but he was friendly and good company.
“Really? Not even girls?” You teased.
“Especially girls,” he joked back. His gray eyes were looking at you softly. It gave your stomach butterflies. Lately it seemed like all he did was either give you butterflies or make you belly laugh. His hand reached out to lift your chin up so you were forced to meet his gray gaze head on.
“You always look away from me when you notice me looking at you. You never look at me for too long,” he said in a gentle tone.
“I don’t mean to on purpose,” you said trying to be casual although the thumping of your heart was a great contrast to the calm you were trying to portray.
“I like when you look at me and when you watch me play video games and soccer,” he said, inching closer to bridge the gap between the two of you as you sat on opposite ends of the table.
Was he going to kiss you? It seemed like that was his intention. You wanted to kiss him but worry and concern and feeling Reo’s stinging rejection you pulled your chin from his hand and looked away. When you glanced back at him he wasn’t looking at you for once but looking down at his lap with clear hurt in his eyes.
“I thought you liked me too,” he said with embarrassment coloring his voice. You couldn’t take him thinking you were rejecting him, not when he was perfect and sweet and everything you could ever want.
“I do like you!” You said.
“Then why won’t you let me kiss you? I want to so badly,” he asked in desperation.
“Reo-“ you started but he didn’t let you finish.
“Oh,” he said, sounding deflated, “do you like him or something?” It was obvious he was trying to sound nonchalant but jealousy threatened to burst through.
“No no I don’t. I mean I don’t dislike him. He’s your best friend so I don’t have anything against him. I just don’t like him in the way I like you,” you stammered. His response had thrown you off completely because it was the last thing you had expected him to say.
“You don’t like him? Lots of girls do because his dad is that rich guy and girls think Reo is good looking,” Nagi said.
“No, I don't see him that way. I like you,” you said, face flushing at your confession.
“I’m confused. What does Reo have to do with you not letting me kiss you then?”
“It’s just. Reo doesn’t seem to like me. He looks at me as if he’s distrustful and suspicious,” you said.
Nagi instantly relaxed and laughed.
“Oh that’s just how he is. He’s very overprotective of me. It’s nothing personal he’ll grow out of it once you’re around more,” he said.
While Nagi’s words assured you, you still found the whole bit a little odd but maybe that was just their friendship. Maybe Reo saw Nagi as a brother he looked out for. You decided to focus on the latter part of his sentence.
“Once I’m around more?”
At this he reached out across the table taking your hands in his.
“You know how I asked you if you have a boyfriend?” He asked playfully.
“Yes it wasn’t that long ago Nagi,” you replied.
“Well I want to be your boyfriend,” he said. He looked at you from under his long eyelashes, his gray eyes so sweet and vulnerable.
“Well I don’t know this guy at the internet cafe told me to not go getting a boyfriend,” you teased.
“What a little prick he probably wants you for himself,” he went along with your joke.
The two of you laughed before he spoke again,
“Can I be your boyfriend? I promise to be good.”
“Yes you can be Nagi,” you replied.
“Awesome. Can I kiss you now?” He asked practically whining.
“Yes Nagi,” you laughed but your lips were soon overtaken by his. The kiss was sweet and made your head spin.
You wondered if this is what it meant to be on cloud nine.
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Your routine for the past few weeks had become Nagi centered.
You continued to go to the internet cafe regularly. In fact that’s where you spent the most time with Nagi since you still went to different schools. You would go watch him practice and go to his games, he had even given you one of his jerseys to wear and he was strict about you wearing it to each match. You’d stay up on video chat with him as well and watch as he streamed his games for you when you were too tired to play with him yourself.
As for Reo, there wasn’t any progress to be made there as the two of you were still virtually strangers but at least his scowling had toned down.
“I wanna see you more often,” Nagi said, his lips kissing the top of your hair as you hugged him bye at the end of practice.
“We see each other nearly everyday, Nagi,” you laughed. However he did have a point since the majority of the day you were at different schools you only saw him in the evenings at the internet cafe, at his practice, or when he had games on the weekends. You were also busy studying a lot of the time as well and still not feeling comfortable enough to hang out with him and Reo who was often around.
“Why don’t you stay over this weekend?” He asked but was trying to hide the shyness he felt from asking.
“You mean like at your dorm?” You asked.
“Yeah, why not?” He shrugged.
You thought about it, you were so comfortable with him you didn’t have any objections and most of all Reo wouldn’t be there.
“Sounds like a plan.”
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“This is Choki,” Nagi said, motioning to a little cactus in a pot on his desk. You had your travel bag with you around your shoulder and had taken the metro to go to Nagi’s dorm in the late evening.
He had met you at the stop and walked you back to his room.
“It’s very cute,” you said. He was eye level with the cactus smiling at it.
“He is very cute not it,” he replied defensively.
“Yes he is cute,” you corrected, continuing to look around his room.
For a dorm room it was quite spacious but that was to be expected of the elite school. His bed was made and neat with a plush dinosaur throw blanket folded neatly on the comforter. He had a television in his room on a stand next to his desk where his PC was. His PC setup consisted of the rainbow keyboard and the koala plush and Choki next to it, and a gaming chair. He also had a mini fridge with a magnet holding up a photo of Reo and him that was taken on a Polaroid camera. Towards the entrance of the room there was a sink and mirror and the toilet was secluded in a cupboard-like closet separate from the full walk-in closet that held his clothes. The room was illuminated blue from the LED lights he had.
“What do you think of my room?” He asked tentatively as he watched you inspect the place.
“I like it. It seems very comfortable and clean,” you replied.
He let out a sigh of relief.
“Good because I cleaned it before you came over. I’m not a slob or anything but I can get disorganized because I procrastinate,” he explained.
You nodded but felt yourself blushing as now the full prospect of being alone with him was setting in.
“You wanna watch a movie?” He asked.
“Sure,” you replied.
He grabbed the remote and laid back on his bed, kicking off his shoes while doing so.
“You can lay down you know,” he teased watching as you stood there. You followed his lead and also took off your shoes, dropping your overnight bag on the floor and laid down next to him. Gently he brought you closer to him, wrapping his arms around you and kissing your hair. He flicked through movies on the streaming service.
“Do you have a preference?” He asked.
“We can watch whatever,” you replied. He chuckled.
“You’re not helping here,” he teased but then settled on an animated movie about animals. He started the film and then put the remote down, his arms still holding and caressing you.
“Is this okay? I want you to be comfortable with me,” he asked. You could hear the vulnerability in his question however and knew that it would hurt him if you didn’t want him to touch you. Fortunately, you did enjoy his comfort and warmth. He felt like a bear hug.
“It’s okay I’m comfortable like this,” you assured him.
You watched the movie intently but your heart still pounded in excitement from his closeness and you wondered if he could hear it.
He watched the movie as well, occasionally peppering kisses into your hair or chuckling when he found something funny. It was peaceful and not awkward in the slightest. You enjoyed this comfort only Nagi could bring. If it were any other guy you’d worry about his intentions but when Nagi said watch a movie and spend time with you he meant it, not trying anything else besides cuddling.
Towards the end of the movie you heard slight snoring and looking up you saw Nagi had fallen asleep. He looked more boyish when sleeping. You watched the rest of the movie and when it finished you turned the tv off. Nagi was still fast asleep but you didn’t mind, taking it as a sign that he felt comfortable around you. Ever so carefully you moved out of his arms and went to brush your teeth using his sink. You then used his walk in closet to change into your oversized tee and shorts for sleeping. When you came back you saw Nagi blinking in confusion from having woken up.
“I thought you left,” he said sadly.
“No Nagi, I was just changing. You fell asleep towards the end of the movie.”
“Oh I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to,” he rushed to get his words out but you were quick to assure him.
“It’s okay, I thought it was sweet. I didn’t wanna wake you but I already brushed up for bed.”
He looked you up and down in your pajamas and his eyes softened. He repositioned himself so he was now laying in the bed underneath the sheets and blankets.
“Come snuggle with me. It felt so good having you in my arms.”
You obeyed his words and got into bed with him facing towards him. His eyes looked at you lovingly.
“I love having you here. I got up early today to clean my room and make sure everything was perfect. That’s partly why I fell asleep but most of it was because of you. Cuddling you and smelling the nice scent of your hair was so relaxing.”
His way of declaring loving and saying things so openly with his childlike innocence was so endearing to you. Other guys were much more guarded and wouldn’t admit such things out of fear of vulnerability but Nagi just said what he always thought.
“I love being here with you Nagi, you make me feel so safe,” you replied truthfully.
He pouted a little.
“You know you can call me baby or honey or anything you want,” he said.
“Okay baby,” you said, giggling a bit. It was still new and felt a little strange coming out of your mouth.
“Hey what’s funny?” He asked before adding: “you’re my baby and I’m yours and that’s that.” He pulled you closer to him as you laughed.
“You’re right baby, you’re so needy,” you joked.
He pouted again but it didn’t last long because he kissed you nice long and slow. He tasted so good like mint and just Nagi, his ocean breeze scent intermingling with the kiss. Your hands felt his soft white hair as you kissed and he moaned a little into your mouth.
When your kiss broke you gazed at each other.
“You mean everything to me,” he said, cupping your cheek. You curled up closer in his arms so he could snuggle you again how he had loved.
“You mean so much to me too,” you told him. He yawned.
“I wanna sleep with you again, it felt so good. This feels so good, but don’t get any ideas. I brushed my teeth before you got here,” he said.
That made you belly laugh and swat him a little in laughter.
“What? It's true I always brush my teeth right before I see you. I want you to like me,” he said innocently.
“I do like you,” you said. In fact you were starting to think you more than liked him and as you both dozed off to sleep you heard him say the words you had been thinking out loud and it was the last thing you heard before being overtaken by sleep.
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“I’ll be here waiting,” you told Nagi as he ran off towards the locker rooms to change for practice.
This morning you had woken up completely entangled and cuddled into him. His long legs had interlaced yours and after very prolonged kisses and cuddles you had gone out for miso soup for breakfast at a little restaurant nearby then returned to the high school campus for his practice.
“I was almost starting to think he wasn’t gonna show up,” a voice said behind you. You turned around and Reo was standing behind you on the field already dressed in his uniform for practice.
“Reo, where did you come from?” You asked wondering how the two of you hadn’t noticed him on the way in.
He ignored your question and you felt small under his violet intense eyes.
“You know Nagi is never late for practice. He’s usually here early with me,” he said in an accusatory tone.
“Yeah sorry about that it’s just-“ you stammered but he cut you off.
“It’s just you were with Nagi last night and because of that he was thrown off routine this morning,” he finished for you. By now you felt yourself growing frustrated with him. You didn’t know him and he didn’t make any effort to know you, your only mutual connection was Nagi and he seemed hell bent on disliking you.
“Reo what is your problem with me?” You asked out of genuine curiosity and frustration.
He seemed more than happy to tell you.
“My problem is that ever since you’ve come into Nagi’s life he’s been changing. It all started with him wanting to spend more time at the internet cafe and when he told me it was because of some girl I knew it would become a problem,” he said.
Nagi had been spending more time at the internet cafe not to play games but because he had wanted to see you? He had noticed you before he had even spoken to you and liked you? If it weren’t for this confrontation with Reo now you’d relish in that fact more.
“How is it a problem? We’re not doing anything wrong,” you said in an effort to defend yourself.
“Maybe not, but Nagi isn’t like other guys, surely you’ve noticed that. He wears his heart on his sleeve and he’s a good guy. I don’t need you hurting him when he’s already changing for you,” he said.
“Changing how?” You said not fully understanding.
“He’s more motivated. Before you I had to do everything for him because he thinks everything is a hassle. He showers after every game now because he knows you’re there waiting for him, he cleans his room because he knows you’re coming over, he does those things he normally wouldn’t wanna do because he has you in mind.”
“Isn’t that a good thing?” You asked.
Reo’s gaze was still sharp.
“Maybe so but if you hurt him I’m worried he’s gonna be worse than before. Before he was just lazy after you hurt him he’ll just be unmotivated and depressed.”
Your heart hurts at the thought.
“I’m not gonna hurt him,” you said quietly.
Reo didn’t seem convinced.
“You and I both know that’s not how relationships work. Eventually you’ll hurt him and when you do I’ll never forgive you.”
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GodOfSoccer: where did you go after practice? I thought you were gonna wait for me but Reo said you left early :(
You saw the whisper message come through the game server as you loaded up the game to play. You had set your status to offline but Nagi was savvy enough to know when you were online.
SleepyKoala: I didn’t feel good
GodOfSoccer: do you need me to come over? i can take care of you
SleepyKoala: No it’s okay
GodOfSoccer: do you wanna play a few games?
SleepyKoala: I think I just wanna play by myself
GodOfSoccer: oh alright
GodOfSoccer: good luck in your games :)
GodOfSoccer went offline
You sighed as you watched him go offline and you knew you had hurt his feelings despite his good natured response. Nagi was never offline and he wasn’t the type to set his status to offline so you knew he was really not gonna play games tonight which didn’t bode well. You didn’t mean to hurt him, it's just you couldn’t get Reo’s words out of your head. He’d never forgive you if you hurt Nagi? You’d never forgive yourself. He was so good and sweet and pure and Reo was right that relationships were messy. Did you really want to be the one to give Nagi his first heartbreak?
You tried to play a few games but it was futile, the game had grown stale without him.
You logged off and crawled into bed. Soon it began to pour outside and it reflected your inner state.
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The next two weeks were exam season so luckily you had an excuse to not be around Nagi as often.
You stopped going to the internet cafe altogether and instead went to your school’s library to study. These days you only saw Nagi at his games and though he was understanding about it because he knew you had to study you could tell he was sad.
The two of you still texted at night but the conversation grew stale as Nagi wasn’t always the best texter and from your experience with him you knew that comfortable laid back atmosphere of being at peace with him was something text couldn’t capture. Text was made for talking and it forced this dynamic where it felt as if you always had to come up with something to say and often times the best moments with Nagi were just being able to enjoy each other’s presence.
When you got home from school one afternoon you had noticed a bouquet of flowers waiting for you on the porch table.
You had taken the flowers to your room and put them in a vase with water. You got your phone out to text him.
You: Thanks for the flowers
Nagi: you’re welcome. I know you’ve been working hard studying and I wanted you to have something to brighten up your desk.
Your heart fluttered at his thoughtfulness and again you wondered why you were being so distant. You knew it wasn’t fair to him but what Reo said really got to you. You knew he was only looking out for his best friend but you were worried you were really going to be the one to hurt Nagi.
Nagi: I miss you :(
Nagi: Are you coming to my game tomorrow?
You felt overwhelmed by it all. The flowers, his double texting, and all the while you still felt Reo’s disapproving eyes on you as if he were watching you now. Part of you thought maybe it was better to back out of things early on before they got any deeper. Maybe then Nagi wouldn’t be as hurt. It was that rationale that led to your reply:
You: Sorry I can’t. I have to study now more than ever.
Nagi: oh okay
He didn’t say anything more after that.
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When you woke up the next morning you had ten missed calls from an unsaved number. You also had text messages as well. You unlocked your phone in confusion. The messages read:
It’s Reo, are you awake?
Nagi is hurt he got hurt at the game
He’s been crying for you and wants you here
You instantly called the number back.
“Reo what’s wrong? Where are you guys?” You asked, your panic and worry not giving you time to feel weird about calling him.
“We’re headed to a nearby medcenter clinic that's across the school. You can meet us there,” he said then hung up.
You raced outta bed and got dressed quickly. You didn’t bother to eat breakfast as all you could think about was how you hadn’t been there for Nagi. You were so worried and your heart hurt.
The ride on the metro seemed obnoxiously long despite being the same as always. You anxiously tapped your fingers along your thighs the whole way there.
At last you arrived and headed toward the clinic Reo had described. You felt nervous and shy as a nurse directed you to what room Nagi was in when you asked and told her you were his girlfriend.
In front of his door you hesitated a little bit not knowing what to expect. How hurt was Nagi? Would he be upset with you for not being there for him? The only answers you’d get would be through that door.
You pushed the door open slowly.
Nagi was laying down in bed with his right ankle wrapped in med bandages and an ice pack against it. He perked up instantly when he saw you.
“Hey I knew you’d come,” he said. This wasn’t what you expected. He wasn't upset with you at all.
“Reo said you asked for me,” you said, noticing how the room was devoid of any purple.
“I did. I needed my girl,” he said. His words tugged at your heartstrings as you walked closer to the bed so you were right beside him.
“Where is Reo?” You asked.
“He went to get us some food from the cafeteria and call my parents,” he said. You stroked his hair.
“So how bad is it?” You asked.
“Not too bad it’s just a sprained ankle but it hurt like hell when it happened. It should heal quickly,” he said.
You nodded and stopped stroking his hair.
“I’m sorry I wasn’t there when it happened,” you said.
He shrugged but you could tell he was a little downcast even if he didn’t say it.
“It’s okay I know you’ve been busy,” he said. There was an awkward tension in the air that you knew was your doing. You were the one that had been distant lately. You just didn’t want to hurt him but it seems like you already were.
“How long are you gonna be here?” You asked.
“Reo wants me to stay for a few days for some reason since he thinks I won’t take care of it but I told him I have you to take care of me,” he said beaming up at you his smile wavered when you didn’t react and added,”you will take care of me won’t you?”
You wished he hadn’t asked that with his begging gray eyes that looked at you with the eagerness of a puppy.
“Nagi I’m just really busy right now, maybe Reo is right,” you said softly. His face fell.
“Why don’t you wanna be around me anymore? Am I doing something wrong? Am I spending too much time on soccer?” He asked.
“No Nagi it’s not like that-“
“Bullshit. I know you have to study but you always did before and we were able to see each other. I’ve tried to be a good boyfriend and spend time with you by letting you stay over. I just don’t know what I did,” his voice almost broke. You reached for his hands but he pulled them away.
“Nagi, you didn’t do anything. I love being with you and spending time with you,” you said. He looked at you again, his eyes ever so stormy and sad.
“Then tell me the truth,” he pleaded.
You swallowed, you'd tell him the truth but you didn’t want to make Reo look bad after all he was his best friend.
“You remember the morning after I slept over and we went to your practice?” You started reluctantly.
“Yes,” he replied, understandably confused.
“Reo started talking to me and saying this stuff about how he’s scared I’ll hurt you. He told me how you’re already changing for me and taking initiative and doing things you normally wouldn’t like: showering after your games and waking up early to clean your room. He’s worried I’ll break your heart and you’ll be unmotivated and depressed.”
There was silence for about a minute after you told him this. He was the first to break it.
“He really told you I didn’t shower after games before you?” He asked.
“I guess he kinda implied it,” you said wondering why he focused so much on that part.
“Well that’s embarrassing,” he said with a wry smile before adding,”you don’t have to worry about hurting me.” He reached for your hand now and brought it up to his lips to kiss softly.
“Why aren’t you more concerned about this? Reo is right. Relationships are messy and people get hurt and I don’t want to hurt you ever,” you said shivering at how his lips felt against your skin.
“Reo is cynical. Yes people get hurt but I don’t wanna close myself off from you just because something may or may not happen.” He kept your hand laced in his and that’s how the two of you stood until Reo himself walked in a few moments later. He had two trays of sandwiches that he set down and seeing the state the two of you were in he asked: “Am I interrupting?”
“No Reo, I actually wanted to talk to you. Why have you been telling my girlfriend that she’s gonna hurt me?” Nagi asked in a conversational tone.
Reo glanced at you before looking back at Nagi.
“Nagi, you know everything I do is to protect you. I don’t want you getting hurt. You know how the girls at school are,” Reo replied.
You didn’t understand this and looked curiously at Nagi but he ignored you.
“She’s not like that, she's nice to me and sweet and I need the two of you to get along otherwise you’re hurting me both,” he said firmly.
At last you and Reo looked at each other, his last words resonating with both of you so there was no malice or ill will in the others eyes.
A nurse interrupted, coming in and saying she was going to change Nagi’s bandages to freshen them up before he left for the night and you and Reo were ushered into the hallway.
“Thanks for coming,” Reo said genuinely once the door closed behind the two of you.
“You’re welcome. I really care about him,” you said.
“Yeah I can see that,” he said, running a hand through his hair that was loose out of its usual ponytail.
“I didn’t mean to snitch on you or anything like that. I only told Nagi because he was asking why I was being so distant,” you said to him. He nodded in understanding.
“No it’s fine I knew something was up when he was bumming around and blue because you weren’t around all of a sudden. It’s my fault,” he said. Now that he wasn’t looking at you with suspicion he seemed friendly and you could see why he got along with Nagi.
“I know you were just trying to protect him since he’s your best friend,” you said.
“Still I shouldn’t have said anything to you like that or in that way. The last thing I wanted was for Nagi to be sad but I seemed to have caused it by you being distant. I've never seen him so down like that before.” His words made you feel guilty, after all you had only distanced yourself in order to not hurt him.
“What did you mean by that comment about girls at your school?” You asked him.
“Girls at school think Nagi is weird. Well, not just the girls but everyone does. He sticks to himself and he’s not concerned with impressing people the way everyone else is,” he said.
You did know Nagi was a bit odd but he was endearing and now you knew why Reo was so protective of him. He was very attractive as well so you had truly thought he was joking when he had said that girls especially don’t talk to him.
“Reo I wanna be able to get along. I don’t wanna stay away from Nagi because I care about him,” you said, deciding to call for a truce.
“Yeah that sounds good to me. I guess I judged you unfairly and like Nagi said he wants us to be able to get along. It’s just always been him and me so I have to get used to it,” he said.
You assured him you didn’t wanna ruin his and Nagi’s friendship and that of course they’d still be able to do the things they’ve always done. When the nurse came out of the room you both went back inside to find Nagi playing games on his phone in his typical fashion.
You and Reo smiled at each other both knowing this was a sign he was recovering.
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“I never said thank you,” Nagi said, stopping in his tracks as you both walked in the park.
It had been three weeks since his injury and he had recovered with you by his side. These walks with him had been a form of physical therapy but once he had healed they had stuck around as a routine thing for you two.
“For what?” You asked.
“For accepting being my girlfriend. I had liked you for a long time before I spoke to you and I was always too nervous to do so,” he said. He looked wonderful surrounded by the cherry blossoms of the trail you too were on. It had been his idea to go cherry blossom viewing with you and he had been looking forward to it for weeks even drawing a little blossom on your calendar for this date.
“You’re welcome. Reo had told me about how you had started spending more time at the internet cafe because of me,” you said. A blush the color of the blossoms formed on his cheeks.
“The only downside to you and Reo being friends now is that he tells you all the embarrassing unfiltered things about me,” Nagi said but you could tell it meant a lot to him that you and Reo got along.
In the weeks following Nagi’s injury you had stayed with him at his dorm and took care of him and Reo would come over in the evenings and all three of you would binge watch shows and movies you took turns picking. Of course you and Nagi continued to support Reo by watching him practice and coming to games as well while Nagi was healing.
“I don’t think it’s embarrassing. It’s sweet you like me so much,” you said.
He reached out to cup your face in his hands in the way he was so fond of doing.
“I more than like you,” he said seriously before adding,”I know you were scared of hurting me but the truth is I’m not scared to be hurt if it’s by you. I wanna be with you always.”
Your head was spinning at the way his eyes penetrated into yours.
“I more than like you too,” you said shyly. He looks at you lovingly before leaning in to kiss you.
When he pulls away he looks into your eyes and tells you those three words you had sworn you had heard before you had dozed off to sleep when you had slept over: “I love you.”
This time as he kisses you again even though it feels like it, you know you’re not dreaming.
꠴ itoshi rin x fem!reader
content: established relationship, mentions of bruises and fights, stickerzz!!
"you're silly."
rin doesn't respond, as he has the last two times you've said that. aside from your occasional repeated comment, the only sound filling your small kitchen was the clattering of rin's chopsticks against the bowl in front of him, and the sticker sheets that fill the rest of the table.
with a bored pout on your face, you peel off a particularly glittery sticker, not hesitating to boop it right over his bandaged nose. "silly."
his eyes lift from his food to glare at you, which is also what he's done for the past three— now four times you've called him that. the two of you stare at each other silently before you break the eye contact, peeling off a heart sticker and smacking it right on his forehead. after all, it's kind of difficult to find him intimidating when his cheeks are stuffed with food.
right when you were going to pull your hand back, he grabs onto your wrist, stopping you midair. "stop it." his voice sounds slightly muffled to your ears as he's shoved whatever was in his mouth into one cheek.
"why?" you shimmy your arm out of his grasp, picking up another fresh sheet. "you didn't stop when i told you not to get into another fight."
silence. that one got him.
three seconds pass. rin's eyes narrow at you, then averting his gaze as he continues chewing. the air didn't feel as tense as you thought it would be, as if rin's managed to find a way to telepathically communicate that he's sorry in some way.
he really is silly, getting hit in the face like that. is he not worried about injuries? is he not worried that his poor attempts at hiding the bandage would cause his own girlfriend to be so pissed at him? seriously... you don't even want to imagine what that bruise looks like right now.
and here you are, using stickers to take out your frustration. "silly, silly, silly." your insults are starting to sound more sweet, lips curling from how cute he looks being all grumpy.
your canvas knows no bounds as his face runs out of space, expanding to his neck and hands. he can only sit there and endure your "punishment", because he'd rather have stickers all over him than have you genuinely upset with him.
a/n: plot? whats that? we dont need that...
goodnight and go ¡!
pairing: bnd x reader.
warnings: cursing, yelling, some mentions of sexual relationships, mentions of cheating, overall some couple's arguments.
summary: how would bnd argue with you + what i think would be their triggers. (things they would do that would cause the argument)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
sungho; i don't see him as a person who would get into an argument often, tbh you guys could date for over 4 years and argue twice in that period, but when you did?? awful. i know that sungho is a virgo men and he's very mature and he is always looking for the best for everyone but when you guys argue about something he thinks (or knows) he's right about, he wouldn't shut up, because he's right and how dare u say otherwise? eventually it would turn into an "i told you so" type of argument and you both would just get out of each others sight for a few hours, maybe sleeping or just doing stuff around the house without interchanging a word. that until you both let down your ego (if you have any) and talk things out more calmly.
riwoo; he is the type of person to just nod and nod and nod again to anything you say, he might be right but he ain't going against you. he tries to be the bigger person but ends up feeling wronged and you can see him zoned out even days after the disagreement. "you know this is all your fault, right?" and he will say yes, that until you try to put the blame on him for EVERYTHING, he may have some of it but all of it??? that's when he snaps "you can't be like this, you are not being reasonable" unfortunately that leads to a bigger fight. it's not that y'all don't resolve things but it usually just gets forgotten and eventually you don't remember and never apologize for it.
jaehyun; bro is crying after the first scream. myungjae is a very sensitive person but i don't think he would like to openly cry, and if he does, it's not out of sadness or fear, he would get overwhelmed and very angry because he feels like you are not listening and you are just saying wrong things to him and making him the bad guy when he didn't even knew what was going on this time. firstly he'll definitely try to talk things out quietly, appealing to your soft side and trying to hug it out for an instance but it always goes wrong and y'all end up screaming at each other just for him to get all pouty and win your forgiveness and your apologies too.
taesan; arguing with taesan was not a thing, you guys just talked things out when you didn't like something and that was it, it never happened again. but when you see him kissing some girl outside the club you both were at you went crazy, slamming doors when you got home with him following closely and trying to make you listen. "you fucking cheated, what else do I need to know?" he would try to explain you that she approached him and kissed him out of the blue but he pulled out right away (which was true) but you didn't listen and it eventually made him get even more angry, his cold wall finally falling down when he said "what the fuck is wrong with you? you think I'll cheat on you? that's who you think i am?" and the way his words sounded to you just made it worst. like he was putting the blame on you. but overall, it doesn't matter how bad the argument is, you ain't going to sleep without working it out, he won't let you.
leehan; the worst part of arguing with leehan is his lack of response. it pissed you off that you went all out on him about the fact that you guys haven't got any intimacy of any kind in a while and that when you both actually had the time and the desire to do so, he ditched you for his friends. you explained how you understood that he needed to see his friends, but always? every time he's free? what about you? what about your relationship? leehan had a girlfriend to take care of too, not just his friends. so when you said all this to him and he just looked at you with those sleepy eyes and nodded without saying much, you got angrier. not because he was not yelling back at you but because you've got this conversation at least five times before, always getting the same reaction and always getting the same results. until one day y'all finally work it out and make a balance, it was that or breaking up so leehan finally listened.
woonhak; arguing with woonhak is literally a mess. you guys scream, put the blame on each other, say things you could (and will) regret later, even mention stuff from the past just to make a valid point. you would go to bed angry because none of you would say "sorry" or at least try to work things out, the silent treatment was something very common between you two since neither you or woonhak would give in. eventually he'd talk to his hyungs when he feels like this time it's been too long and you guys haven't make up yet, he takes the advise and approaches you with his head low, like a puppy with his tail between his legs, shy and with so much remorse you just talk things out and call it a day.
Characters: Leehan & female reader
Setting & genre: coming of age, summer romance, angst and fluff (it has a happy end!)
Summary: Busan is your hideout, your runaway place, your freedom bought on stolen time. Leehan is your first love, your safe place, your everything. At least, for the summer.
Warnings: stage name used, OC is coming out of a burnout in the beginning and she has a relapse, mentions of anxiety and panic attacks, past hospitalization, emotionally distant parents, parental pressure on academics
Words: 9.4k
Author’s note: title from One Direction’s Summer Love. here is the Romeo + Juliet movie scene that gets mentioned
turns out i cannot not write an at least bit of an angsty story for your bday but i do sincerely hope you have a very happy one, @restlessmaknae <3 also of course you would start singing this song in july to give me a heart attack right before i accidentally told you i’m writing about Leehan
The humidity of air sticks to you like second skin, sweat glistening on your nape where your hair gets tangled in the summer heat. With closed eyes and the tickling feeling of sand under your bare feet, you listen to the ocean waves washing up the beach and children giggling. You take a deep breath of air filled with salt and fish and oil, something so uniquely Busan that you feel like fourteen again.
It’s been years since you had come to visit. Excuses were easy to find: too busy, too far; reasons were much harder.
But now you’re here and you realize that you missed it. The quiet serenity of being hidden away in the part of town that’s far from the busy skyscraper downtown and the overwhelming tourist traps. You remember spending summers running down these sandy beaches and playing in the water, mouth sticky with fruit and palms scratched with falls and youth. Then you turned older and got bored of the quiet neighborhood, the ocean losing its significance after seeing it too many times, eventually you stopped coming altogether. Now you are even older but still young, barely out of school, the CSAT exams still haunting your dreams. You’re just twenty but sometimes that age feels like it bears the weight of the world. Your world at least.
You open your eyes and squint right away at the brightness of the Sun and feel its burning heat on your bare shoulders only cooled by some nice breeze. The air might smell like salt, fish and oil but it tastes like freedom.
You take one more deep breath, willing yourself not to think of your mother’s disappointed words about your behavior nor her disapproval of you coming here, and push yourself up. You grab your discarded sandals and head back. Your grandparents must be worried already. In their eyes you are still fourteen, forever a child.
And they might be right because not even halfway down the beach, you abruptly halt and hiss, pain shooting into your feet and your carmine blood drips onto the golden sand. Balancing yourself on one leg, you check on the wound, a cut on the softest flesh part of your feet and the culprit, a broken shell in the sand. Clumsily you take your water bottle from your bag to clean the blood off, your skin still sensitive around the fresh wound. You debate whether you should tiptoe the rest of the way or clean your footwear off sand and dirt as much as you can but before you could decide, a stranger approaches you with worriedly furrowed brows.
“Are you okay?” He asks in a deep voice but you don’t pay too much attention to him, too busy to figure out what to do with your injury.
“Yeah, it’s just a small cut,” you brush his worry off, expecting him to walk away or maybe to give you directions to the closest pharmacy but he does neither.
“Here. Hold onto me,” the stranger offers his arm which you reluctantly but take because your balancing skills honestly aren’t the best. Then you can do nothing but stare as the boy around your age suddenly pulls out a plaster from his shorts’ pocket and leans down to inspect your wound. It’s a bit awkward, having a stranger look at your feet, so your fingers curl inside themselves around his arm. The boy is gentle, barely touching your skin as he applies the plaster and once he’s done, he straightens, looking down at you with sparkling, shiny eyes.
The first thing you notice about him other than his height and the low register of voice is actually his eyes, how pretty and expressive they are. The second thing is the way the wind blows his longer, almond colored fringe into his eyes. Your fingers twitch to brush it away just to find out if they are as soft as they look.
Then you realize that you’re staring, so you quickly look away, down at your feet that now has a cute seahorse patterned plaster on it.
“Thanks,” you mutter, a bit dumbfounded but amused at the same time. “Do you just carry around plasters everywhere?” You blurt out the first thing that comes to your mind as you lower your leg, still feeling a bit sensitive but much better.
“I can be a bit clumsy at times. And too curious for my own good or so I have been told,” the boy shrugs with a sheepish smile on his face. “I’m Leehan by the way.”
“I’m…”
“Y/N-ah! There you are,” your grandmother’s voice cuts off your introduction and like a kid caught doing something you shouldn’t have, you take a step backwards, away from the boy, on instinct.
“I have to go,” you look at the stranger, Leehan, one last time apologetically. “Thanks again.”
“Take care,” the boy smiles warmly and waves, the movement cute just like the animal print plaster he had on him.
You limp all the way towards your grandma who stands there with her hands on her hips, ready to scold but you hush her and tell her it’s nothing serious, that you are okay. Still you listen to her tsk-ing and nagging as you walk back inside the house but once she seems to run out of everything she could have said about it, she changes the topic swiftly.
“You barely got here and you are already snatching boys?”
“If by snatching you mean embarrassing myself in front of them, then sure,” you try to softly tone down your grandma’s enthusiasm but she keeps chattering despite the sarcasm in your answer.
“Leehan is a sweet boy, always helping when he sees me with lots of groceries. He lives in the neighborhood with his family and I think he graduated high school last year, so you must be the same age.”
You hate how hopeful she sounds because you didn’t come here to befriend people. When you called asking if you could spend the summer here like you used to, except this time you would help them out, your grandma was happy to take you in but worried too that you would be lonely or bored alone with ‘only them old folks’ but honestly, you craved a little peace and alone time. That’s why you needed to get out of Seoul too, away from its people. From all its memories.
So you just make a noncommittal hum and escape to the kitchen to help your grandpa with the scallion pancakes for dinner.
“What’s your grandmother fussing about?” He asks, pushing the glasses further up his nose.
“Nothing, I just stepped on a broken shell,” you shrug and get three plates from the shelves and kimchi from the fridge.
“Typical. I heard about it for weeks when I accidentally cut my finger one time,” he recited and you smiled, feeling loved and cared for. At home.
The market is stuffy, different smells of sea animals, fried food, fresh fruit and detergent mixing with the sounds of vendors arguing and negotiating over the static sound of music coming from an old radio. It’s busy but different type of busy compared to the crowded metro coaches. It’s lively here and while you had studied your ass off for the promise of a future corporate job, here you are packaging tteokbokki for takeaway, always adding extra because that’s a given for regulars. Not that you think it’s below you, you love the food stall aunties and uncles very much, but you would have never imagined yourself sweating next to a spicy boiling broth in the heat of summer. Maybe it had something to do with the way your mother talked about her parents’ job so derogatorily, always telling you that you’re only somebody if you’re well educated and a career woman. Maybe that’s why she was so against you coming here. Because it was a place she had run away from.
You’re in the middle of chopping scallions in the back when you hear a cheerful call of Ahjumma! and your grandma perks up more than usual.
“Leehan-ah, are you going down to the beach?” She asks and you feel the back of your neck heat up but you blame it on the Sun. It has been days since the shell incident but the embarrassment still creeps on you. You hope the boy won’t notice you or at least not say anything about it.
“Later. First I have some errands to run,” Leehan says and your granny coos, probably patting his cheek too, calling him a good boy. Then casually while she is stirring the tteok in the pot, she suddenly changes the topic.
“If you have some free time, could you show our Y/N around? She doesn't really go out on her own.”
“Grandma!” You turn around, sulky at the callout. A mistake because you can clearly see the boy failing to hide his amused smile.
“Sure. If she can keep up,” he raises a brow elegantly at you which immediately makes you defensive.
“Are you calling me short?” You straighten up without meaning to because come on, you aren’t that much shorter!
“I’m asking if your foot is alright.” Leehan corrects your assumption with a know-it-all smile plastered on his face but he still manages to pull it off in a genuine way with a hint of worry. It makes you feel flustered for a moment.
“Oh, yeah, it’s fine,” you clear your throat and clean your hands in a rag cloth nearby.
“I’m just going to the post office, I’m free after that,” the boy says, looking straight at you from under his longer fringe, over your grandma’s shoulder.
“Great. Go have fun!” The old lady exclaims, turning and walking up to you, untying your apron faster than you would expect from somebody her age.
“Grandma, I’m not leaving you alone,” you protest but it’s no use. She tsks and shakes her head as if she couldn’t believe what she’s hearing.
“Please, we were doing fine before too. I can just get your grandpa to stop playing mahjong with the neighbors if more people come,” she brushes off your worries easily and basically pushes you out of the food stall’s kitchen area. You’re just about to complain about your bag when she shoves it towards your chest and all you can do is stare at her, shocked but you can’t really say anything when she smiles so sweetly and wishes that you have a good time.
Eventually, you’re the one to give up. It’s not like you could make her let you work against her wishes and she seems very keen on making sure that you go out and get friends while you’re here. It was difficult to convince her to let you help out at the shop at all to pay back in a way for their hospitality no matter how much they told you that they would be happy just to have you over the summer.
It’s only when you’re a little further as you follow Leehan through the market, when you speak up.
“You know, you don’t have to do what my grandmother asks you. I can be on my own just fine,” you mutter, not wanting him to think you’re some child that needs a babysitter. Just because you like to stay in your room, it doesn’t mean you would get lost if you set a foot outside.
“I’m sure, don’t worry. But it’s no bother. I like to be an advocate for the city,” the boy grins at you and as if on cue, an auntie greets him and insists on giving him a bag of peaches. Leehan asks about her grandchildren and compliments her harvest. He charms everybody effortlessly, a real sweet talker but he doesn’t seem fake about it at all and it’s kind of lovely, just like his fish themed plasters.
With people constantly greeting him, it takes way longer to get to the post office than it should have but at least you can laugh when he loses paper, rock, scissors against a nine year old kid and is bullied into trying something really spicy. You try to hide your smile while the little kid is unabashed about his reaction when Leehan grimaces at the hot spices, finding his disgusted nose scrunch hilarious. In apology, you buy him iced green tea at the next stall you see and he smiles at you brightly like the Sun.
Once Leehan is done at the post office, you expect it to get awkward but it’s him who breaks the silence as you stand in the shade, sweat dripping down your back in the moonsoon season’s humidity.
“So… you’re here for the summer?”
“Hm. I missed the sea,” you hum quietly, keeping your eyes on the bright horizon and the shimmering line of water in the distance.
It isn’t entirely a lie but not the whole truth either. Being so burned out after high school that you got a panic attack at the thought of going to university, so you had to postpone a semester and the disappointment it caused to your parents certainly isn’t something you want to dump on a practically stranger. But even if Leehan has a feeling that you’re not 100% sincere, he doesn’t push, which is something you appreciate.
“Well, then you came to the right place. Not to be biased but Busan has the prettiest beaches.”
“Prettier than Jeju?” You tease just for the sake of it and it makes the boy chuckle.
“Of course! Come on, I will show you my favorite place,” he tilts his head, a clear invitation and you give in because you don’t have anything better to do anyway.
The Sun is still high up on the sky, white clouds clear against the blue of it. You’re fanning yourself but it doesn’t help much. Leehan however doesn’t seem bothered by the heat, so you find yourself asking:
“Did you grow up here?”
“Born and raised,” he nods with a proud smile which isn’t that surprising because he has that more laidback way of talking that locals around here have. At least he’s not talking as fast as the neighbor ahjussi whom you have trouble understanding. “You have a Seoul dialect though.”
“That’s the standard way of speaking, just saying,” you roll your eyes at him calling the way you speak a dialect which makes him laugh.
“Whatever helps you sleep at night.”
It’s silly arguing over something like this but it’s actually fun, you find yourself smiling without meaning to. Something that has come harder lately. So you end up answering the boy’s unasked question about your upbringing. You tell him about growing up among metal skyscrapers, the Han River and Seoul Forest being your escape, only spending your summers in Busan, your mother’s hometown until you were fourteen. Leehan listens and asks random questions like whether you have ever been to the COEX Aquarium or if you ever wanted to be a mermaid as a little girl. It’s surprisingly easy to talk with him, to open up. Maybe it’s because you know he doesn’t know you well enough to judge or even if he did, it doesn’t matter much because you would leave at the end of the summer anyways.
In the meantime you reach the sea and walk along the shore farther from the crowded beach and bay areas. When you come across a bunch of larger rocks, Leehan climbs onto the top easily and holds out a hand for you to help you up too. Tentatively but you take up on his offer and let him pull you up on the slightly slippery rock. He doesn’t let go until you land on stable ground on the other side. There are smaller rocks and pebble stones splattered across the sand there stretching from the clean turquoise blue waters to a cave overshadowed by greenery. It’s beautiful and you can’t believe you’re the only ones here.
“How did you find this place?” You ask in awe, wandering farther ahead. Even the sand is cooler here from the trees’ shade.
“Honestly, I don’t go out a lot either. I just like to go down to the beach and be, you know. So I have been looking for a place where I can chill and well, I had years,” the boy says with a hidden smile in the corner of his mouth as your grandmother’s words about your hermit behavior echoes in your ears.
Of course, you know that she means well and that she’s a social butterfly, so it’s weird for her that you are not that outgoing at your age. Or maybe she has heard from your mother of those weeks where you refused to leave your room let alone the house. Things had been bad then, now you’re getting better. You have come all the way to Busan after all. Was it to run away from your problems? Maybe, but also you hoped that not being in an environment that reminded you of your failures would help.
“Do you always bring girls here?” You ask, more playful than anything as you balance between two rocks, looking back at Leehan over your shoulder. You can hear him snort and catch the way he scratches the back of his neck.
“Not really,” he admits sheepishly. “Just the special ones,” he adds with a mischievous smirk on his face. Tsk, what a flirt, you shake your head in disbelief but amused.
“Aren’t you afraid that I will ruin your chill time here?” You ask as you settle onto a place in the shades, closing your eyes as you enjoy the cool breeze against your sweaty shoulders.
“Not really,” comes the answer closer than you expected as Leehan settles on the ground not far from you. You squint your eyes open to see his expression but he’s only looking at the sea fondly.
You don’t talk much afterwards, just sharing bits and bobs of your lives, little anecdotes. Leehan eventually offers to walk you home when it gets close to dinner time. You could easily find your way with Naver Maps but you let him anyway and try to keep up with his recommendations of Busan places to check out; you probably forget half of them though. You don’t exchange contacts, it somehow doesn’t even occur to you because you’re pretty sure you will run into each other one way or another. It’s all nice and cozy. Something you could get used to.
Even though you expected to meet Leehan, you didn’t think it would be so soon. But trust your grandma to play the matchmaker despite your firm reminder that you didn’t come to stay with them over the summer to get a boyfriend.
Still, you should have known better when you agreed to get cat food at the local pet store in lieu of one of your grandmother’s friends. You feared she would have gone herself and carried it all if you weren’t going and at that point you were just happy if she let you do anything yourself because you felt like a spoiled guest at her house. But of course, she had ulterior motives, you realize when behind the store’s counter, there’s none other than Leehan with his pretty smile and soft-looking hair.
“Are you stalking me?” He grins when he spots you after the jingling sound of the door chime signals your arrival, one side of his mouth curling more upwards then the other, the asymmetry of it making him even more handsome.
“Blame my grandma. She sent me here on an errand.”
You are quick to give him your excuse but it only makes the boy pout slightly and you can’t tell whether he’s faking it or he’s actually disappointed.
“I thought you missed my wonderful company,” he puts a hand over his heart and ah, that’s definitely over exaggerated.
“Yeah, keep telling yourself that,” you deadpan as you walk up to the counter and pull out your phone to get the list of things you should buy.
You show the pet food brands and quantities to the boy and while he’s off to get them from the back, you look around in the shop. There are all sorts of cat and dog supplies but further in the back you see tanks and you swear you see movement in some, so your curiosity brings the worst out of you and you wander closer, smiling upon seeing the blue and golden fish in various prettily decorated glass boxes. You’re so busy looking inside the tanks that you get startled when Leehan speaks up from behind you.
“Do you like fish?”
“Oh… actually, I have wanted a fish tank at home ever since I saw Romeo + Juliet,” you admit as you turn to face the boy. He furrows his brows in confusion and you somehow feel urged to explain it in more detail. “It’s an adaptation from the 90s. In this version, Romeo and Juliet saw each other first through a fish tank at the ball. I just thought it’s… romantic,” you cut yourself off when you realise your’re rambling about embarrassing girly things and clear your throat. “Anyways, my parents obviously didn’t let me have one.”
“That’s cute,” Leehan says, his smile half-teasing, half-sincere and you feel heat coloring your cheeks. How can he just say things like that? “I have one at home.”
He adds casually but you immediately perk up.
“Really? Do you have pictures of it?” You can’t help but inquire and luckily the boy doesn’t seem to mind. On the contrary, he seems pretty excited that he’s able to talk about his fish. He keeps showing you pictures of different states of the fish tank and what kind of fish he had before and what else he wants to get one day. He also tells you that this is his go-to place when it comes to buying fish supplies and it’s pretty cool that the owner lets him work here part-time over the summer. You are so distracted that the next customer has to come to the back looking for the cashier which is a bit awkward but you both laugh about it.
You shuffle around in the back while the customer gets the new leash for his dog and when he leaves, you go to the checkout counter too to pay for the cat food. You already stayed longer than you intended to do, so you do a little ‘hwaiting’ gesture at Leehan as a goodbye but his words stop you before you could leave.
“Would you like to go to the aquarium this weekend?” He asks and you swear you can hear the nervousness in his tone despite the smooth, casual delivery or his confident front.
“Sure, why not?” You try to play it cool too and eventually you agree to meet in front of the place on Saturday, so you leave the pet shop not only with cat food but weekend plans too and a smile on your face.
It’s an understatement to say that your grandma is over the moon when you tell them that you will be out Saturday because you made plans with Leehan. Your grandpa asks though if he needs to talk with ‘this young man about his intentions’ and you protest vehemently. It’s not even a date after all, because it isn’t, right? You’re just hanging out. Your granny waves her hand and chuckles at the interaction.
“Let them be. We were young once too,” she says in that voice she always has when she gets nostalgic. You listen to her stories about her youth even if you have heard them dozens of times before because your grandma had such an eventful life. No wonder she always encourages you to ‘live a little’ and follow your heart. That’s how you don’t regret life looking back, she says.
So that’s what you are doing when Saturday comes and you get ready to go out. The loose-fitting white dress feels light against your skin and with a sudden wave of enthusiasm, you reach for your barely used eyeshadow palette. Today you feel like doing something special, like putting on silver, glittery makeup. You feel good when you look into the mirror but then you start second guessing it. Isn’t it too much for a simple hangout?
Too late, you realize because you’re already short on time to make it to the aquarium by the agreed time, so you brush off your worries. By some miracle you manage to catch the bus, trying not to think about your outfit or makeup being too much, too… date-y.
When you arrive at the entrance, Leehan is already there, his tall figure striking even from a distance, especially in the jeans and tucked-in, light blue shirt combo he wears. He stands by one of the pillars, scrolling through his phone but pockets it right away when he sees you.
“Hey… You look pretty,” he blurts out, faint rosiness coloring his cheeks and it makes you feel shy too. Your previous thoughts about taking this dressing up too far cease to exist.
“Thanks. You look good too,” you say because it’s true, but he always looks nice. Even in the bermuda shorts he wears to the beach or the pet store uniform t-shirt. Maybe it’s because of his slender figure or his prince-like features or just overall the casual confidence he holds himself with.
“Thanks,” Leehan mutters and looks away. It’s quite a different reaction from what he shows when ahjummas on the market pinch his cheeks and call him handsome. “Let’s go in.”
Inside it’s like a hidden Atlantis. You are surrounded by lovey-dovey couples walking hand-in-hand and families with kids running around. The blue hue of water is casted over everything and Leehan’s eyes sparkle in the dim light as he tells you about things he learned from documentaries about the deep sea or at university. It turns out he’s studying oceanology at Korean Maritime and Ocean University there in Busan which is pretty cool, something that suits him. When he asks about your side, unknowing to the turmoil inside you when it comes to your studies, you don’t tell him about the stress you have been under just to get into a SKY university. You don’t tell him about your messed up sleeping and eating schedules, the IV drops at hospitals, the anxiety and panic attacks nor the result of it all. You just shrug and tell him that you got into a good uni with a business management major, but it’s not really what you want to do. He doesn’t ask why you did it then or why you don’t change it. Instead he looks at you with a smile under the penguins’ majestic aquarium and asks:
“If nothing else mattered, what would you want to do then?”
You give it a thought because you didn’t quite have the luxury to think about what you really wanted before. It was always about what your parents wanted you to do. Until you decided to pack your things and come down to this beach town.
“Staying here forever,” you eventually respond and it sounds like an exaggeration, so you chuckle to soften the confession’s rough edges. Even if Leehan doesn’t know you well enough (yet) to understand the longing in those words, your yearning for the taste of freedom and the warmth of a home where you are waited for,che seems to understand. He just smiles wider and proceeds to tell about the crazy lifespan of some turtle species. It’s good, your tensed shoulders relax again as you follow him to the next section.
After you have thoroughly seen everything at the aquarium, you find a place nearby to eat at, then walk down the closeby popular Haeundae beach. It’s not as pretty as the one next to the lagoon Leehan showed you the other day and there are more people here than you would have preferred but it’s okay. You never seem to run out of topics, lighthearted ones, yet even silence is comfortable with Leehan.
“See you tomorrow at the beach?” You ask in lieu of saying goodbye on your way back. Your fingers are intertwined behind your back just to do something with them because they are sweaty and soiled with sand from the impromptu sand castle building you came up with under the last unforgiving rays of the Sun.
“Don’t miss me too much until then,” Leehan says with a corny smile playing on his lips instead of saying yes but you just laugh and let him be.
You ignore your grandma’s knowing glare from the living room as you run up the stairs two at a time, your white dress floating behind you like flower petals in the wind.
On Sunday you meet on the beach and stay out until the Sun disappears behind the horizon. Next week you help Leehan choose a new decoration for his fish tank and spend two hours in the pet store listening to him talk about the difference between algae types and the importance of filters and sub-filters. On Friday your grandparents are at the hospital for their usual check up, so you’re on your own in the food stall. Leehan comes around to keep you entertained but he ends up helping out when a bigger group appears. Sweet of him but you find out the hard way that he has shitty sense when it comes to spice, especially salt, measurements.
The week after, you run into each other in your local Olive Young while you’re getting a new nail polish color and he has a bottle of shampoo in his basket. You end up leaving with a new glittery eyeshadow palette too because the boy drops a comment that it would look pretty on you. You put it on together with the baby pink nail polish you just bought when you go to the outdoor screening of a Korean classic on the beach. Under fairy lights and the fluorescent reflections of the movie in Leehan’s sparkling eyes, you feel a rush of something selfish, a longing so deep it cuts and you have to look away before it becomes obvious.
You don’t talk about it, whether these are dates or not. Because talking about it would make it real. It would make it scary, because then you would have something to lose when the summer ends. It’s fragile but it’s yours and it’s enough, you tell yourself.
One of these days it rains. The kind of sudden summer downpour that feels way too nice on your heated skin in the humid, hot weather. It catches you in the middle of eating ice cream with Leehan and you can’t help but yelp when the first cold raindrops touch your bare shoulder. You both get up quickly and run for cover ice cream long forgotten but the rain just pours and pours and both of you are drenched by the time you reach the nearby cave.
You look up at Leehan from under your wet eyelashes, shivering slightly and burst out laughing at the sight of his hair sticking to his face weirdly like a soaked puppy. You know you don’t look any better because you feel your hair weight over your shoulders like a rag. You try your best to tie it up, out of your eyes but Leehan is still staring.
“What?” You ask, self-conscious and shy under his intense stare. Then you are holding your breath because the boy lifts his right hand and touches your face. His touch burns and leaves goosebumps in its wake as he brushes another lock of hair behind your ear.
The rain is loud around you but it all sounds saturated right there, at the entrance of the small cave just by the beach. You tremble, not from the cold but something akin to anticipation.
Leehan’s gaze meets your eyes. There’s softness and wonder in the depth of his brown orbs. You take a shaky breath as he runs his fingers down the expanse of your bare arm until he finds your hand and then he chuckles and pulls you out into the pouring rain.
“Yah!” You scream at him but you laugh too, a childish feeling bubbling up in your chest.
You chase each other around on the beach. The sand is wet under your feet and the sea is cold when you end up knees deep, splashing water at each other as if you could be even more soaked. Your laughters echo in the cave and you feel the most alive in a while.
You still laugh about it when the next day you wake up with a cold and sore throat.
The push and pull between you is like the waves washing up the shore. There has to be a breaking point when it spills over. It happens in Leehan’s room when he finally shows you his fish family in person after chatting your ears off about them. The tank is bigger than you expected and it’s really nicely decorated, it’s clear that the boy put a lot of effort into it and you appreciate all the details. You’re too busy watching in awe as the tetras and shrimps swim around to notice the boy on the other side of the water wall until you catch his eyes on you. You blink in surprise and think that it’s unfair how handsome he looks even through two layers of glass and filtered water. Bashful, you straighten up at once and Leehan does the same on the other side.
“Was it like this? In the movie?” He asks, curiosity coloring his deep voice and your breath hitches because he remembers! It was something small you mentioned to him the second time you met and yet, he didn’t forget.
“Something like this,” you nod, still bewildered and breathing shallowly as the boy edges closer, leaning over the fish tank.
“What happens after?” Leehan’s voice is barely above a whisper as his gaze searches your face. Your fingers tremble, so you press them against the countertop for balance.
“Why do I have a feeling that you know?” You lower your voice too as if it was a secret and the thought of him looking up the movie just because you told him about it makes you feel mushy inside.
Leehan giggles and it's music to your ears, a beautiful sound.
Your eyes flutter closed when his lips graze against yours. It’s chaste and clumsy but his kiss tastes sweet like cherry lip balm and summer. You never want to forget this feeling.
What starts with a kiss between four walls ends up spilling all over the pages of your summer. It’s in the way you share looks and secret smiles over your grandmother’s shoulder, the way he holds your hand as you walk down the beach or the way every accidental touch sets your skin on fire. The way you talk on the phone until late on days when you can’t meet or how he notices the faintest burn mark on your fingertip from cooking and presses a kiss on it to ‘help it heal’. It's shared packs of gummies, sea-washed hearts drawn into sand, blush on cheeks and a secret held close to your heart. You still don’t talk about the future, about what it means even though you know you should. You should tell Leehan that it’s bound to end in heartbreak because you will leave eventually but for once you let yourself be selfish and pretend that you have all the time in the world. Or at least pretend that you have him.
It’s been almost two months since you have been in Busan and you have felt better than ever. No pressure on your chest anymore when you wake up, no breaking out in sweat when you see the calendar counting down days, no lack of motivation to go outside. However, one thing is enough to crash it all down. One simple thing.
You stare at your ringing, buzzing phone as if you could will it to stop just by looking at it hard enough. Your mother’s name on the screen is enough to make your stomach twist uncomfortably and you bite into your inside cheek so hard you taste iron as you swipe the call towards the green direction.
“Y/N,” your mother calls your name like a greeting. You hold your breath back, wondering if she will tell you that they missed you since you haven’t talked with them since you have left but you should have known not to get your hopes up.
“Did you decide on the next semester?” She asks, straight to the point as if that’s the only thing they care about. Maybe it is.
“No,” you mumble and you want to make yourself smaller when you hear your mother’s disappointed sigh. It’s bringing back ugly memories. The realization that their love is conditional hits you hard again.
“When are you coming back then? It’s been enough of a vacation already,” she says dismissively and you know too well that she doesn’t ask because she wants you back out of caring but because then she would have more leverage over you.
“I’m staying for the rest of summer,” you force yourself to remind her because no matter how guilty and ungrateful she makes you feel, you remember how hard it was to leave, to go against her in the first place, so you don’t want to go back, not until you are sure she cannot emotionally manipulate you into doing something you don’t want.
“What a waste of time. You should at least sign up for a language course–”
“I have to go. Sorry,” you hang up the call and only when you drop the phone onto the bed’s mattress you realize that you’re trembling. It’s when the tears are starting to sting your eyes. Your phone rings again, your mother’s contact haunting you like a ghost, so you switch the phone off entirely. You refuse to cry but the ugly sobs bubble up nevertheless and it’s all coming back.
It’s day three of shutting yourself in your room and not talking with everybody. You feel useless and stuck, just like the disappointment your mother thinks you are. When there’s a knock on your door, you think it’s your grandmother coming for the breakfast tray, so unsuspecting, you open it. You immediately wish you didn’t because in front of you stands Leehan with worry clear on his face. Or is it pity? In this mindset, it’s hard to tell.
“Your grandmother let me in. I couldn’t reach you,” The boy rushes to speak up, his voice stained with something heavy. “Are you… What’s wrong?” He corrects himself probably realizing that asking if you are okay would be a stupid question when you clearly aren’t.
“You should leave,” you croak out, your voice hoarse from disuse.
“Y/N, don’t,” Leehan pleads with sad eyes that beg to don’t push me away, don’t shut me out but you’re too used to dealing with things alone. “You don’t have to tell me but let me be here for you.”
It’s the gentleness in his request that makes you stall. He doesn’t force you to do anything, he just asks like he wants to be there. Like he doesn’t care that you look shitty and ignored him for days. You don’t deserve his kindness.
“Let me shower first,” you look away before opening your door wider to your curtained and stuffy room.
You open the window and grab some homey clothes from the gardrobe because you don’t want to stay in your pajamas next to the boy. Then you close yourself inside the bathroom, taking a too cold shower but by the end of it you actually feel a bit more like yourself. You walk back to your room in the new, clean clothes and wet hair, not ready to look Leehan in the eye, so you’re relieved when he doesn’t make you do that either. He just gently takes the towel from your hands and sits down behind you on the bed, massaging the soft material into your head. You let out a little choked up sound at the feeling of being cared for. You close your eyes to will yourself not to cry and Leehan doesn’t say anything, he just keeps drying your hair gently.
“My mother called,” you speak up after what feels like forever and yet not long enough. The boy hums quietly, showing that he’s listening but he lets you go on at your own pace. So you tell him about the pressure to do well at the CSAT exams and to get into a SKY uni, about falling out with your best friend because of competitive studying, about starting to hate it and how it ruined your relationship with your parents.
You speak and Leehan listens, then when there are no words and your heart feels like an empty shell, he holds you close. It feels like he holds all your broken, ugly pieces together.
It doesn’t happen from one day to another but things get better. You get better again. It’s the kind of progress that you have to do yourself but having your supportive grandparents and Leehan by your side definitely helps.
The boy comes over often in the beginning because you don’t yet feel like going out and being seen by people. Your grandfather mentions something about keeping your door open at all times but after realizing that all you do is watching documentaries on your laptop, reading books with your head in Leehan’s lap while he is on his phone or braiding each others’ hair, he doesn’t say anything anymore.
It takes a while to gather courage to tell everything to your grandparents too because it’s one thing opening up to Leehan but it’s about their daughter and you’re afraid that despite letting you stay here and not caring much about your education, they would take your mother’s side. Luckily, they understand.
“You could stay, you know. Your grandfather and I would be happy to have you here,” your granny reassures you with a hand on yours, soothing.
“It’s not that simple,” you let out a quiet sob because which ungrateful child doesn’t do what their parents want after the fortune they had spent on her education? It’s just university, you can bear it for a few years, says the little voice in your head, even if you hate it, even if your perfectionist tendencies will ruin the experience for you.
“It can be that simple. I will talk with your mother,” your grandpa exclaims and you know he would do so if you don’t stop him.
“Please don’t. It’s something I have to do myself,” you say because you can’t let others fight your battles for you, because it’s a step you need to take for the freedom you crave.
It’s scary still, preparing to tell your parents something you know they won’t like nor will they hesitate to try and change your mind.
Leehan squeezes your hand before leaving you alone to make the phone call. He doesn’t go far, you know that the farthest is the kitchen where your grandma will convince him to taste her cooking. You pace around in the room, giving yourself a pep talk, rehearsing your prepared speech a few times before hitting the call button.
It takes three rings for your mother to answer. Her voice is leveled and disinterested when she asks how you are. She doesn’t care, she only cares about what people will say about her if their A+ student daughter won’t go to university. But you won’t take her burdens on your shoulders anymore.
“I decided. I won’t start uni next semester. In fact, I will drop out,” you blurt out as quickly as possible, like ripping off a bandaid. You don’t let your voice waver no matter how nervous you feel. “Maybe one day I will attend a university but if I do, I will study something I would like to, something I'm actually interested in, not business,” you continue before your mother could interrupt you. “Thank you for supporting me through school but I’m old enough now to make my decisions, so I would rather pay you back for all that.”
Your parents are stunned to say the least. There comes a nicely wrapped threat about ‘their house, their rules’ but when that doesn’t work, they try to negotiate. They tell you that you will regret it, to think of all your wasted efforts and how lucky you are, then they want to talk in person. You say it wouldn’t change anything and telling them actually feels like a huge rock being lifted off your chest and you can finally breathe.
It becomes easier after that. The countdown stops and you can sleep properly. Summer ends and you start packing your bag. Going back to Seoul doesn’t seem so scary anymore.
You ask Leehan to meet you at the beach, your usual place, because he deserves to know. He brings fruits and jellies, an entire picnic. Your heart aches because he doesn’t know it’s goodbye. Or maybe he has a feeling since he has always had good intuitions and because this idyll was never meant to last longer than summer.
You eat and you talk while watching the waves and the clouds chase each other. Leehan tells you about the classes he has in the upcoming semester and his fish family updates. You tell him the latest anecdote about your grandparents because the atmosphere is too good to bring up you leaving so soon.
You watch the sunset together with his head on your thigh and your fingers raking through his soft hair, grazing across his reddened ears and the earring he wears. He’s illuminated by the oranges and goldens of the dying Sun and your heart shatters at the sight. He is so beautiful and you want to remember this moment forever.
When darkness settles, you take out sparklers, set them in the sand and cuddle until the last speck of light burns out, until you can see the constellations you cannot name clearly in the night sky.
“I go back to Seoul next week,” you whisper as you lie on the picnic blanket and watch the stars together. Leehan doesn’t say anything immediately and you don’t dare to turn to him. Not before you tell him why. “We will go to family therapy. It was mom’s idea but maybe it will do us good. I owe them at least this. They are trying.”
They might not be the best parents but you know that they mean well in their own way even if it’s not something you want. It’s already a big thing that they also realized that you need help to mend family ties. But that’s not the only reason why you’re leaving.
“I also need to figure out what I want to do for myself and not for others,” you admit in a small voice, barely audible.
You spent your teens working towards a goal your parents set for you and it made you miserable. You’re afraid of it happening again and that’s why you can’t stay in Busan no matter how at home you feel here. Because you know this is what your grandparents would want, because Leehan is here and it scares you that one day you will blame them for staying because you are too weak to make your own choices. So you need to decide on your own. You need to be sure you aren’t just running away from your problems.
Moments pass and the boy’s silence is unnerving. You wonder if he’s angry or if he’s sad. If anybody, you would think he understands but you cannot be sure and it’s killing you. When you turn to him, he moves too and suddenly you’re paper thin distance apart. When he pulls you against his chest, you can feel the rapid rhythm of his heart. When he speaks up, his melodic voice is shaky with unsaid emotions.
“I hope you can find what makes you happy,” he says as he strokes your back gently and it’s an i will miss you, i get it, i wish you the best all in one and tears pool up in your eyes, feeling touched and understood. You nuzzle closer, taking a deep breath full of Leehan’s signature scent of sea salt and sand and something sweet.
“I will miss you,” you whisper under the stars and they witness it as the closest thing you can manage to the confession you can’t say out loud. But it’s in your heartbeat and all your memories.
You and Leehan had all summer and it was golden. It was love even if you never said it out loud.
3 MONTHS LATER
Winter in Busan is kinder. It’s still cutting cold but not unforgiving like in Seoul. It's a roasted sweet potato smell and a stranger helping you with your big suitcase as you get off the train. One of the stores plays Christmas music while you are checking your phone to see if your driver has already arrived.
“Y/N!” A familiar voice calls for you and a smile blooms on your face, whipping your head towards the source of it. There he is in all his beauty, a fluffy scarf around his neck, a beanie on top of his head and his nose red.
You want to rush up to him but your suitcase is heavy and its wheel gets trapped in something, so you manage to trip and lose your balance. Luckily, Leehan is there to catch you and it’s déja vu, a reminder from the summer when you held onto him, another beginning.
“Careful,” the boy warns you with a chuckle as he lets go and looks down at you with a tender smile. You mimic his reaction, your heart getting wild in your chest that you finally see him again. “You are smiling. It’s pretty,” Leehan says in awe and you beam at him wider.
“I’m happy,” you tell him, honestly because he’s part of the reason why.
A lot has happened in the last three months since you left Busan. Family therapy wasn’t a piece of cake because admitting mistakes wasn’t your parents’ forte but it did help to salvage your relationship as a family. They stopped pushing you to choose a higher education and let you make your decisions yourself. First of those was to start tutoring high schoolers who wanted to get into a SKY university like you did. Even though you didn’t actually attend one, the admission letter was proof enough for many people and you realized you liked helping others. You also developed a teaching style that’s more compliment and reward-based than the strict hakwon style. Out of all subjects, you enjoyed teaching English the most, so when you not so accidentally came across an opening position in a language center in Busan, you applied right away.
The truth is you missed Busan. The freedom, the independence, the happiness you found here. And you missed your grandparents and Leehan the most. This time it’s not just a hideout where you come running away from your issues. This time, you come because you want to be here. It’s a home to return to.
Leehan takes your suitcase from you and walks you to the parking lot to his dad’s car. He got his license this fall for which you cheered him on all the way via texts the same way as he supported your teaching journey. You listen to the cheerful songs on the radio as he drives you to your grandparents’ house while talking about the train ride as if you haven’t been texting throughout it. It’s almost like nothing changed and yet, everything did.
“Leehan-ah,” your grandmother coos when you arrive, welcoming the boy with a warm hug.
“Hey,” you pout pseudo-sulky because shouldn’t she greet you first? Her one and only granddaughter? She should take notes from your grandpa.
“Don’t be jealous, sweetheart,” your grandma singsongs before wrapping you in her embrace too, all warm and loving. Immediately after she starts listing down your favorites that she has been cooking since morning but you shush her because you should at least pack your stuff in your room. Leehan offers to help with your luggage and the two of you go up the stairs while you hear your grandparents ‘whisper’ about when to bring out the cake. It makes you chuckle. It makes you happy.
“Actually, I bought you something, too,” Leehan speaks up, his ears as red as his nose but you aren’t sure it’s from the cold outside.
“Oh, what is it?” You ask, surprised but curious and when he nods towards your room’s door. You give him a quizzical look before pushing down the handle.
At first nothing stands out, it’s almost like how you left it months ago but then in a flash of gold you notice one striking difference. There it is, unmistakable, a fish bowl with a single goldfish and some rocks and coral decoration in it on your desk.
“It’s not exactly a fish tank you must have wanted but it’s better to start small,” Leehan explains with a smile in the corner of his mouth and you realize once again just how much he sees and understands you, he always has.
“Thank you! I love it so much!” You exclaim, throwing your arms around the boy, giggling into his chest.
You fussing over your new pet fish is interrupted by your grandma inviting you down for lunch and suddenly it’s like nothing has changed since summer. Leehan is welcomed at your table as if it’s the most natural thing and your grandpa is still teasing your grandma about making way too much food. They keep asking you about your job too as if you knew anything more than what you told them on the phone.
After lunch, you help clean the table while your grandpa keeps Leehan busy by asking him about something he saw on the internet. When your grandma sees you stealing glances, she nudges you in the side and tells you to walk him out with a knowing look which makes you roll your eyes as if you didn’t yearn for more alone time with the boy.
So here you are right at the gate, knowing full well that your grandparents are watching through the window, fidgeting with your scarf, not knowing how to say goodbye even though you will probably see him tomorrow after work. Eventually it’s Leehan who speaks up.
“Y/N,” he calls your name and it sounds so sweet from his mouth, you feel degrees warmer in the cold of winter.
“Hm?”
“Nothing. I just wanted to call your name. I still can’t believe you’re here,” the boy chuckles sheepishly and you realize it’s not only you who’s nervous. But maybe there’s no reason to. Now you know what you want.
“I’m here and I’m staying,” you promise and when Leehan smiles, the mole on his left cheek moves upwards and you tiptoe to peck him right on it. He has a hand on your arm as you descend down flat to your feet and his gaze is stuck on you. You’re mesmerized as you watch all his moles and acne spots and his boyish beauty that makes your heart flutter. You stand so close that you can see the snowflakes melting over his eyelashes and that’s when you notice it.
“Oh, look, it’s snowing!” You squeal with childlike wonder as you look up at the sky and try to catch the floating snowflakes on your palm.
Leehan hums quietly but his voice is playful when he asks:
“Do you know what they say about the first snow?”
You blink at his sudden question, cheeks growing pink and hot as the boy leans closer.
“You’re as smooth as ever,” you mumble, shy, because of course you know the saying about couples’ love being long-lasting if they witness the first snow together.
Your first kiss tasted sweet like cherry jellies but this one tastes like forever locked in a touch. You had the summer together but now you have all the seasons ahead of you and you can’t wait to walk them through together with Leehan.
⚡︎ pairing: Stoner!Wonbin x Female!Reader | ⚡︎ word count: 7.8k | ⚡︎ genre: mutual pining, college au, smut (⚠︎) | ⚡︎ contains: awkward relationships, an original character + sungchan and shotaro, swearing, drug use/distribution, angst (?), mild dacryphilia, sexual tension mixed with fluff, kissing, unprotected sex while buzzed, heavy petting, oral (m. r)
ON TOP OF countless other obligations in your life, upcoming exams were kicking your anxiety's ass with the biggest fucking boots imaginable.
All you wanted was to take the edge off, and at this point, you didn’t care what it’d take to do that.
Introducing Exhibit A: Your closest friend and roommate, Roxanne, who so conveniently happened to be a junkie.
You brought up your need for a “quick fix” (so to speak) while studying in your dorm together one afternoon. Though, she offered to get you some help from another friend of hers who you’d never met before.
“Wait, you want me to go with you?” You asked in confusion, already prepared to reject Roxanne’s proposal at the idea of personally consulting her drug dealer.
“Yes, you're coming with me… What do you think this is, Kiki’s Delivery Service?”
“No, but… I-"
“Don’t tell me you’re chickening out, ____,” she chuckled, turning the steering wheel as she trailed down a shadowy lane.
“No, I… I want this… I need this even, it’s just that…I don’t really know what to expect…”
“Then don’t expect anything,” she answered, giving you an encouraging smile that came off as more condescending, “Expectations are for pussies anyways.”
“Roxanne, I’ve never even met this guy before,” you pressed, hoping that she’d maybe let you sit outside in the car instead of actually speaking with him.
“Look, I’m close with my dealer, and as I always say, a friend of mine is a friend of yours.”
Cue your internal sigh of submission.
“Okay,” you said, straightening your posture in your seat with a feigned confidence.
“Uhhhh, are you sure with that ‘okay,’ or is it more like an ‘okay, I have more questions’ type of ‘okay’?”
“No,” you clarified, “it means what I said… I’m okay.”
“Okay,” she nodded, before giving you a brief synopsis about this friend of hers: STEM major, weed connoisseur, and art-hoe with a shy guy undercut.
Doesn’t sound anywhere near as daunting as the drug dealers on TV shows appear to be, right?
She pulled up to one of the apartment complexes a few miles from your university. It was one of the lower quality establishments, with the only oddity being how nice the vehicles parked outside the apartment divisions were, a sleek black motorcycle belonging to none other than the mysterious drug smuggler named Wonbin Park.
“Hey, take off your hood, silly, it’s rude,” Roxanne nudged, locking her car from the keys in her pocket more times than necessary.
“But… what if someone sees us?,” you whispered, walking closely beside her.
“Then I’m glad their eyes are working? Hell, I don’t fucking know what they’d want me to tell ‘em,” she shrugged, walking up to the front door.
“So are you acting like a nonchalant loser on purpose, or is this just your way of trying to calm me down?”
Roxanne laughed hysterically at your words, showcasing the sparkly pink gem decorating her upper canine teeth as she patted you on the back.
“We’re just here for weed, babe. That will help calm you down before I can.”
You had almost missed the part where she knocked as you got lost in your head, the front door suddenly opening and basking you both with a sudden warmth, contrasting with the cold evening weather.
“Roxie?,” asked the male from the doorstep that you fought with every bone in your body to avoid making eye contact with.
“Wonie?” Your friend mocked goofily, walking up to hug the boy briefly before grabbing your hand and pulling you inside, “I hope you don’t mind that I brought a friend.”
“Not at all, my place is always open to you and your girlfriends,” he chirped with forced yet gentle enthusiasm.
“Uhhhh, she’s just a friend, considering how we’ve only slept together while clothed before… but thanks anyway!”
“Any time,” he replied confidently, walking up to the sink that was conveniently in his living room before re-lighting the dead bud of the joint he held gracefully between his plump lips, ashes falling from the tip before he inhaled a thick huff.
Some of the ash fell on his lower abdomen, and you were just now realizing that he didn’t have a shirt on.
Good thing you were used to the smell of pot by now, thanks to Roxanne’s inevitable habit of greening out every Friday night.
“So, what brings you ladies in today? I’d hate to break it to you, but I used my last condom just a few hours ago.”
“Yeah, we’re actually here for a different kind of pipe this time,” Roxanne answered, blinking as if trying to communicate with him to ditch the wild language.
“Oh,” he said, doe eyes widening as his mouth hung a little, his bunny teeth shining right back at you.
Stop staring at his mouth.
Stop staring at his mouth-
“I uh… I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable or anything,” he smiled softly, and of course you noticed because that’s where your eyes were glued the entire time, so distracted that it startled you when he reached to shake your hand.
“I’m Wonbin, but… you can call me anything you like, really.”
“It’s alright,” you returned, finally coming back to the present, “I’m ____.”
His initially confident demeanor stemmed from his assumption that you were more flamboyant like Roxanne, but he made note to be less vulgar until he could tell you warmed up to him.
Until he properly warmed up to you.
“So uh, yeah, do you want the usual, or were you thinking to try something new?” Wonbin asked casually as he leaned on the back of the sofa.
“Hmm,” Roxie hummed in thought, “yeah, my usual’s good. Just lay off the stronger stuff in the mix, though. It’s her first time.”
Something about what she said made Wonbin smile, wide and excited, peeking at you through his shaggy bangs with zero intent of hiding it.
Was he… flirting with you?
“Well, it’s my pleasure to be your first then,” he winked, getting up from the couch and heading to another room on his flat.
“You two kittens just wait here and I’ll be back with your stuff in a minute,” he claimed, which actually ended up being around an 8 minute wait while you and Roxanne went on and on about something you can’t even remember now.
The smile evaporated from Roxanne’s face as Wonbin returned to the living room while reciting the order. “You’ve got two ounces of-”
“I know the recipe, moron. You might scare my friend away if you say it out loud…,” she joked, feigning a pout as she hugged your shoulder, “so how much do you want for it, candy man?”
“It’s on the house this time,” Wonbin said, “so long as you bring me dinner tonight.”
“Fucking fat ass,” she spat, “what’re you craving?”
“Something warm,” he replied almost immediately, “with seasoned meat and a sauce… Maybe some rice, too.”
“Gotcha,” Roxie chirped as she pushed off of her knees to stand up.
Wonbin walked up to hand her the goody bag with such politeness, almost in the way that a child would give something to his big sister.
“Cool. I like eating around 7 o’clock, so you know when and where to find me.”
“Yes, through your stomach and all the way up to your greedy little heart.”
“Mhm,” he said with a satisfied hum, taking Roxanne’s spot on the couch as she walked towards the door. You and Wonbin were now sitting next to each other, his arms spread out on the back of the couch in a relaxed manner.
“Uhm, ____?”
“Oh, right! Sorry… I didn’t know we were finished,” you stammered, getting up from the couch to meet Roxanne at the door.
“Yeah, took him long enough,” she rolled her eyes, “I was starting to think he wanted us to spend the night…”
“Alright, get out of my apartment already,” he said playfully, waving a hand as if shooing you two, “and make sure to secure the bottom lock for me, I don’t feel like getting back up yet.”
“Whatever.”
Slam.
The door was closed, 50% locked, and you two were heading back down the staircase, cold air greeting you once again before you both got back in the car, driving back to your dorm room to drop off the drugs first, and then to the grocery store…
… to buy a bag of rice and a fresh pack of chicken.
“WHAT’S THAT NOISE?,” Roxanne asked with animatedly furrowed eyebrows, holding the grocery bag you two had packed Wonbin’s “dinner” in.
You ended up making a chicken roast with carrots, potatoes, gravy, and steamed rice like he asked.
“Here, hold this,” Roxanne mumbled, barely loud enough for you to hear before she dropped the bag, your reflects luckily kicking in fast enough for you to catch it before the glass container could hit the concrete stair well.
“It’s as cold as a snowman’s grave out here, Wonie, open up!,” She yelled while banging on the front door, the little dream catcher that hung on the inner side jingling with her forceful hits, “Hellooooo?”
“You’re like Doordash but with the temper of FedEx,” you heard a deep voice say from behind the walls.
“But I only charge herbal fees for my services,” she added while crossing her arms.
Creek.
The door slung open, Wonbin’s muscular arms framing the entrance with a fed up look plastered on his face.
There were two people sitting behind him on the couch playing video games. A violent game, you’d assume, given the sporadic and sharp flashes of light that filled the room.
“Is there some kind of a secret password now or something?,” Roxanne asked impatiently, not as entertained my the view of Wonbin’s still shirtless body like you were.
“Oh, right… come on in ladies,” he said with a feigned smile, extending a hand to welcome you two back in, “hope you brought enough food, because I have guests.”
You followed Roxanne and Wonbin to the kitchen, where you placed the steaming bag of food on the counter before taking out the containers. That’s when Roxanne started grabbing dishes from the cabinet.
The glass plates clinked behind you as you went to search for a serving spoon in the drawer. “Hey… where are the spoons and forks?,” you asked while still looking through one of his kitchen drawers before Wonbin suddenly tapped you on the shoulder.
“I uhm… I keep the utensils in here,” he smiled shyly, just as he reached for the overhead counter to grab the silverware he kept in a box. Your breath got caught in your chest as you felt his hips nearly fuse with yours in the moment. Luckily, he couldn’t see how flustered you appeared underneath his shadow.
“Gimme that,” Roxanne giggled, snatching the box from him and taking out two large ladles, one for the rice and another for the roast.
“Gosh, that smells amazing! Can you put cheese on mine, pretty please?,” you heard one of the boys ask from the couch, peeking over his shoulder with soft eyes.
“Yes, Taro, I can put some cheese on it for you… even though I think it’s weird,” Roxanne smiled.
“Ahh, thanks man. Oh- and who’s the new girl?” He went on, placing the controller down as he was no longer interested in playing.
“Just a friend in need of a good time—” Wonbin answered, which shocked you to say the least, “—so be nice, Sungchan.”
“Of course! Why wouldn’t I be?,” The taller boy pitched in, “but does she even talk?”
The room went quiet for a moment, the only sound being Sungchan’s clicks from the remote controller before he got gunned down by a random player.
“Dammit, Shotaro! Why’d you stop playing? Now we’re tied with the other team!!”
“Too bad, so sad, bro. I’m hungry,” he chirped, getting up from the couch to help you bring the plates to everyone.
“Woah, who’s the big plate for?” Shotaro asked with widened eyes.
“Me and Sungchan,” Roxanne said with a satisfied smile, “we’re sharing.”
“Oh… you didn’t tell me you and Sungchan were on good terms now,” you said, breaking your awkward streak of silence, just now recognizing the taller boys face from Roxanne’s phone.
She always talked about Sungchan and his “big stupid dick,” as she liked calling it.
The pair stopped being cool with each other for reasons you don’t really remember anymore, but you’d take her sudden affection towards him over the violence you witnessed during one of her texting fits the other night.
“Shhh,” she giggled, meeting Sungchan on the couch before sitting on his lap, “I hope you don’t mind me feeding you in front of your little friends… unless that makes you shy,” she pouted.
All he did was open his mouth in response, savoring the taste of the first spoon she fed him.
It was a sickeningly cute sight to be honest.
“Sick and twisted,” Shotaro said as if reading your mind.
“Cry about it,” Sungchan joked between a mouth full of saucy rice, heart swelling from the way Roxanne cooed at him.
You and Wonbin were just now making it to the living room after getting some napkins for everyone. There was room left for the two of you on the couch thanks to Roxie sitting on Sungchan’s lap, but that meant you and Wonbin would be sandwiched together in the middle.
Great.
“Come on guys, take a seat,” Roxie said before taking a bite of the food, her teeth grazing the metal fork with a loud scrap.
“God, I hate when you do that,” Sungchan sighed, tickling her sides as she laughed uncontrollably.
“Stop that, asshole, before I drop this food everywhere!”
“That’d be a shame, this chicken is so good,” Wonbin hummed with a nod, stuffing his cheeks with more of the gravy.
“____ made it,” Roxie pitched, giving you a look.
Despite how hard you tried to fight it, you were started to feel pretty awkward.
You knew it had a lot to do with Wonbin, thanks to his cripplingly annoying quirk to not put a damn shirt on.
You did eventually warm up to everyone, even pitching in on some of Sungchan’s dad jokes.
Though, the stack of empty dishes in the center of the living room table seemed more alive than your spirits right now.
The inevitable tiredness that came with staying up late without a phone in your hand started to kick in.
“Hey, I’m gonna go wash up these dishes real quick,” Wonbin said, glancing your way for reasons you almost couldn’t process between the loud laughter of Shotaro and Roxie over whatever dirty joke Sungchan told about SpongeBob and Patrick.
Did he want you to come with him? Alone?
Yes.
By now, Wonbin was no longer in the living room, having walked to the kitchen sink where he proceeded to run soapy dish water.
The scent of lemon wafted through the dimly lit space as you stepped beside him to get the dish towel.
“Sorry,” you said nervously, noticing the way he jumped as your hand grazed his arm slightly.
“It’s alright, you just surprised me,” Wonbin smiled, drying his hands before walking over to the other side of the counter, opening a plastic bag filled with what appeared to be blunt wraps and another bag filled with fluffy green.
“You just leave that stuff out on your counter?,” You asked, voice kind of quiet over the running water.
“Mhm…,” he started, “it’s not like the cops are just gonna raid my house randomly… unless… you were to say something,” he winked, putting a filler along the inside of the wrap before sprinkling in some herb, then tucking it tightly.
“Your secrets safe with me,” you said, the faucet squeaking as you turned the water off.
“____.”
“Yes?” You asked in confusion almost… he was already starting to use your name so normally.
“Pass me that lighter from over there,” he pointed before sticking his tongue out, licking the inner side on the blunt wrap to seal it.
His pretty tongue glistened underneath the kitchen lights, captivating you once again.
Fuck, stop staring, you internally swore at yourself.
He put the blunt between his lips, waiting for you to light the tip. “Stop moving, silly,” you giggled, holding his face in place with your other hand to keep him still as he playfully moved his head around to give you a hard time.
A tiny giggle erupted from his throat, too, making your smile linger for a little longer before he bid his thanks, inhaling a huff of the smoke and exhaling it through his nose.
“Hmmm,” he hummed as he cleared his throat. By now you were leaning against the sink with no intention of washing the dishes any time soon. No intention of leaving the kitchen, either.
“C’mere,” he offered, reaching for your chin in the same way you did to him earlier before inching closer to your face.
“Wonbin-”
“Just part your lips for me, okay?” He asked in a light voice, “I want you to try it with me.”
You nodded at his words, hesitantly parting your lips as he slowly set the blunt between the opening you allowed for him.
“Okay now seal your lips,” he said, licking his own, “and inhale… slowly.”
You obeyed his words, taking a steady breath in as the warm and cloudy smoke filled your mouth… then your stomach… then your senses.
“Oh, shit,” you cursed, coughing at the way the smoke hit the back of your throat, to which Wonbin only laughed at your reaction.
“Good job, newbie,” he teased, running you a glass of water before passing it to you, your teary eyes staring back at him in a mix of embarrassment, regret, and intrigue.
“How was hitting it,” he asked, pearly eyes staring back at you.
“Just as bad as I thought,” you admitted.
“Yeah… they effects will start kicking in pretty fast, too,” he chuckled, proceeding to take a huff from the same blunt. “But,” he started, voice falling to an alto, “you know that wasn’t free, right?”
“Excuse me?” You asked, watching as he lazily cradled the joint in his two fingers.
“I only do favors for Roxie because we’re chill like that…,” he paused, biting his lip derisively as he tilted his head, “I hardly know you, though.”
You didn’t even bother checking your pockets because you knew you came empty handed.
“Aww, what is it, baby?,” he cooed, turning your chin to face him again as he took another huff from the joint.
“I didn’t bring any cash with me, unfortunately,” you replied with a halfhearted expression, already feeling yourself get dizzy.
He noticed the way you began to tear up even more from the smoke he was now gently blowing in your face.
“You’re eyes look pretty right now,” he smiled, staring way harder than he should’ve, “how do you feel?”
All of a sudden your core starting to heat up, making your legs feel as though you were merely hovering over the floor. You didn’t feel grounded anymore because you were overcome with a feeling of light.
“A little warm,” you started dryly, “but like… numb and euphoric at the same time.”
“In here?” He asked, placing a hand on your upper stomach, resting dangerously close to your tits.
“No…. It’s uh… a bit lower,” you said, reaching for his wrist before pulling his hand away from you.
That’s when you caught a glimpse of a colorful splash decorating his wrist. “That’s pretty,” you smiled, adoring the tattoo from afar.
“You think so?” He asked sarcastically before whispering in your ear, “too bad compliments won’t pay my bills.”
You sighed at his words, watching as he braced his body weight on the counter before your right hand found a mind of it’s own, reaching out to trace a line up his defined abdomen.
“Then allow me to repay you in another way,” you offered, poking his flesh with your nail a bit, “you like my cooking, don’t you?”
“Very much so, yes. But you could try pleasing me somewhere else… ‘A bit lower,’ like you said,” he whispered seductively, eyes in a daze as he guided your hand by your delicate wrist to the center of his belt buckle, a line of hair leading to the bulge buried behind his baggy jeans.
A thick vein trailed from his thumb to his forearm before his grip left your wrist.
“Wanna take a closer look?” He offered, drawing your attention back to the colorful spot on his skin even though your first mind thought he was talking about something naughtier.
“Sure,” you answered quietly, taking his hand again to examine the design, “a butterfly?”
“A moth, actually… it’s a little more masculine if you ask me,” he added, the shadow of a proud smile ghosting over his lips.
“But it has watercolored eyes,” you pointed out.
“True… So it’s like.. more ambiguous I guess?”
“Maybe… or it could just be a beautiful man,” you voiced, stroking over his skin with the pad of your thumb.
You liked this.
The look of his skin, but more so the way it felt.
The way touching him made you feel.
“Uhmmmm, guys?,” Shotaro cried out from the living room, the energy in his voice breaking the stillness of the moment, “I’m pretty sure Sungchan and Roxie are about to start fucking each other in a few seconds, and I could use a little help in here!”
You and Wonbin made eye contact at Shotaro’s words, the same thought filling both your heads:
“What?”
“Just get in here, quickly! They’re taking each others clothes off!!!”
“FUCK, MY STOMACH still hurts like a bitch from laughing so hard yesterday night,” Roxie sighed, cheeks a flushed hue either from the three shots of brandy she just guzzled or the three comforters she was wrapped in on her side of your shared room.
“Yeah… I had a great time hanging out with everyone,” you said, only half-present as other thoughts floated around in your mind.
Thoughts about when you would get to see Wonbin again?
What you two would even do?
How Roxanne would react if she knew Wonbin had been stuck in your mind like gum on a-
“What the hell are you thinking about?”
Oh shit.
“Uhm… Nothing, why?”
“It’s gotta be something,” Roxie pressed, staring at you from across the room through her false eyelashes, “you were moaning in your sleep last night with that same look on your face.”
Wow. She was quite a fast talker for someone so tipsy.
“I was?”
“Mhm,” she smirked cheekily, trailing a finger along the knitted seam of her bed sheet.
“Tell me who you were thinking about… I’ll know if you’re lying, too,” she pressed.
“I was just… gosh, why is that making me so flustered,” you sighed, hiding your face in your pillows.
“C’mon, spit it out, ____!”
“I was thinking about Wonie, okay?,” you finally admitted, hoping it would make her shut up.
“Hmm…,” she started with a satisfied smirk, “you’ve already starting calling him by a nickname, I see… what’s up with that?”
“Nothing at all,” you smiled aggressively, watching as she spread herself out on the mattress like a star fish, “would you like me to call Sungchan over to keep you company while I’m out?”
“He’s already on his way over, silly,” she smiled, flexing her fingers around nothing, “wait, where are you going, anyway?”
“Nowhere special… probably just gonna talk a walk around campus. But don’t worry, I’ll wait for your boyfriend to get here before I leave.”
She pouted at your words, lower lip poking out like a baby, “Aww… stupid… big dick Sungie’s my boyfriend… ehehe…”
SUNGCHAN SHOWED UP shortly after you managed to get Roxanne back to bed. Praying that they wouldn’t end up fucking in your bedroom while you were gone, you put on a jacket with hopes of taking that walk to clear your head, even though now you simply hit a joint to calm your nerves.
That’s when you heard a pair of footsteps approaching from outside your door, just as you were about to zip up your winter boots.
Knock, knock, knock.
A a warm feeling erupted in your stomach, making your fingers freeze at your ankles.
Standing up to peek through the door-hole, you saw Wonbin’s plump lips first, before his bright brown eyes stared back at you.
Shit, why was he here?
“Hey, I can hear you breathing from behind the door… well, whoever you are,” he giggled, which made you giggle a bit too.
There’s no way you were gonna get out of this now, but you still counted down from ten before opening the door.
“Hi,” you smiled, letting him in, “don’t know how you got on campus, let alone to my dorm room, but okay.”
“I’m friends with Roxie, remember?”
“Yes, but I don’t remember you visiting here before… like, ever.”
Even if he had, it’s not like you’d be able to forget a face or presence like his.
“Nice shirt, by the way,” you teased, poking him in the stomach to which he smiled.
That terribly cute smile of his.
“Yeah I uh… wear them sometimes,” he replied, adjusting the beanie he wore before speaking again, “Where is she, anyway?”
“Pretending to be asleep so I can cuddle with her while she sucks on me… well… not there but… nevermind,” Sungchan interupted, walking from the room with now disheveled hair.
“Hell, I left for like three seconds, what happened,” you asked, observing the fresh purple bruise on Sungchan’s neck.
“Roxie gets unbelievably horny whenever she’s drunk for some reason, and I refuse to do anything with her when half of her mind is on fucking mars,” he sighed, going to the fridge and pulling out a can of soda.
“She’s lucky I let her do this much… Wait- I thought you said you weren’t coming?” Sungchan said to Wonbin with a suspicious look.
So Wonbin was invited to your place. How fun.
“Ahh, I changed my mind out of boredom...”
“Right,” Sungchan nodded while walking to the front door, “I’ve gotta go get a lighter from my truck, but I’ll be back if Roxie asks for me.”
“Hey uh, me and ____ can go get it for you if you want,” Wonbin offered, flashing you a look.
“Really, I mean I parked pretty far away, but-”
“It’s fine, really, I saw where your truck on my way here.“
“____?” Sungchan said your name as if searching for your approval, to which you nodded which a humble, “Yeah, I don’t mind.”
“Alright then, go ahead. But take your time though so you don’t slip and break your asses…”
WONBIN LOOKED IN the roof compartment of Sungchan’s truck, just as the lighter fell down, slipping between the small crack in the seat.
“Shit,” he cursed upon trying to reach for it, “my hands too big to get it.”
“Hey, I can try getting it for you,” you offered, watching as he made room for you to take his place in the vehicle.
The drawstring of your underwear clinging to your hips as your shirt fell down your waist with gravity.
“Are you wearing a thong?” Wonbin asked, cold index finger hooking with the thin strap of your panties before pulling back and releasing it with a snap.
“Ahh, what the hell, Won!,” You yelped, retreating from the seat to swat his hands from you, “you’re supposed to be helping me!”
“No, we’re supposed to be helping Sungchan. Now get back to work,” he order you playfully, pointing back down to where the lighter fell.
You shook your head, bending back over in an attempt to retrieve the lighter once again.
He was only teasing you because he wanted to see more of your personality.
He couldn’t say that things were moving fast between you thanks to the inevitably awkward grounds your first impression of each other was cultivated upon, but he still wanted to get past the shy stage.
Skip all of the a baby steps and just start running with you.
Weakened grunts fell from your lips as you desperately fished for the lighter, your hips looking a mere second from bursting through your tight jeans given the position you were in.
“Shit,” Wonbin cursed under his breath, feeling a sense of warmth grow on his cheeks as he darted his eyes away from you.
“Oh,” you said with a muffled sounding voice.
“Um, y-yeah? What’s up?” He stuttered, still looking off into the distance.
“I’ve got the lighter… And some spare change,” you chirped, clasping the findings in your hand before reaching a foot down cautiously.
“Isn’t that stealing?” Wonbin teased, finally looking back to only see your foot slipping on the wet condensation from the truck’s running board.
“____, watch your step!” He called out with a slightly raised voice, his hands finding your waist to protect your fall, which only led to you both tumbling down together.
A strained groan erupted from Wonbin’s throat as his back hit the cold hard ground first, your body weight falling onto his center as your hands hit the gravel, slightly scuffing your skin.
You hadn’t even realized that your eyes were closed the entire time until you finally opened them, the coins you held being scattered about as Wonbin’s wide bunny eyes scanned you with shock.
His arms framed his head, nose a little red from the weather and a sprinkle of snowflakes dusting his black beanie.
“Are you…are you okay?,” he started, voice trailing off as it finally clicked in his mind that you were straddling him on the ground, essentially in public.
He couldn’t pin a finger on what it was about you that made him feel all shy like this, especially whenever he wasn’t buzzed.
“I-I’m… uh… I’m fine,” you stuttered, freeing him of your body weight and extending a hand to help him up.
“Thank you,” he huffed, a puff of cold air escaping his mouth before circling around your warm bodies, “I told you to watch your step….”
“Hey, it’s not my fault that those stupid coins distracted me,” you shivered, just now feeling the effects of the weather as goosebumps sprouted on your skin, “At least I got the lighter, though!”
Wonbin chuckled, both at your enthusiastic words and the uncanniness of this moment, taking off his beanie and adjusting it over your head before closing the door to Sungchan’s truck, pulling you close to him by the shoulder.
“Alright… let’s get back inside before we both freeze to death.”
AFTER GOING BACK inside, Sungchan had somehow managed to get Roxie out of bed, the four of you sitting on the couch while watching a random movie till midnight.
It all brought you a strange sense of déjà vu. You and Wonbin sitting awkwardly together while Roxie and her Sungchan sat like Siamese twins. The only thing missing, aside from some good home cooked food, was Shotaro’s infectious smile and a recreational drug in your system.
A soul booster.
You had gotten lost in your thoughts again, not even realizing when Roxie kissed Sungchan goodnight before he headed home.
Nor when Wonbin pretended to be sleep so no one would wake him as you slept peacefully on his shoulder.
Nor how he left your side once Roxie went to her room to sleep, reaching for the dust-ridden acoustic guitar hiding in a corner of your loft after a long forgotten ex-roommate left it behind as a “farewell” gift.
Nor the warm and woody melody he started to play from the other end of the couch, the gentle hums from his throat luring your busy mind from its slumber.
Your eyes opened with lazy blinks, vision slowly keening in on the lit joint that hung from his mouth, the sound of his fingers sliding against the fretboard and strings sending shivers down your spine.
Or maybe that had more to do with the winter air thrumming through your dorm room's cheap windows.
From the look outside, you’d guess it was sometime around 1am.
The stars were sparkling in the sky and the world beneath almost dead quiet.
“Oh- sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you,” Wonbin said in a half-whisper, noticing the way you were glancing at him before taking the blunt from his mouth.
“Oh, no… it’s okay, I was just… I didn’t mind…” your words trailed off to a mumble as you sat up a little straighter on the couch, rubbing the sleep from your eyes, “What song was that? It sounded really pretty from what I heard.”
“Yesterday… by the Beatles,” he smiled, getting up to set the guitar back in its original place of abandonment, “it would’ve sounded even better though if I had a pick with me.”
He took another huff from the blunt, exhaling through his nose in a familiar manner as he offered it to you, “Want some?”
“Sure,” you shrugged, taking the blunt from his hand before inhaling the herb yourself, though, it was slightly different from the one you had in Wonbin’s kitchen the other night.
“It’s some of Sungchan’s pot,” he said in a husk voice as if reading your mind, “Don’t go too crazy though, ‘cause his shit’s pretty strong.”
He peeked at you through his wavy bangs, waiting for a cough from you that never came.
“Are you buzzed yet?” You asked after taking another huff or two yourself, playing with the smoke in your mouth before blowing it out slowly.
“Yeah,” he chuckled, “don’t know how I managed to play a full song, but... yeah... I'm trashed.”
“It must be a talent, I guess,” you hummed at his words, just now noticing the lit candles sitting at random areas in the kitchen and living room.
Good thing, because it helped to drown out the scent of marijuana.
“What else are you good at doing while high?”
His tongue clicked at the roof of his mouth as a subtle yet unmistakable smirk creeped on his face, perfectly matching the rosy hue that began to stain his cheeks.
“You thought of something dirty, didn’t you?”
“Maybe…” he chuckled, widening the distance between his legs a bit as he sat.
Was he… teasing you?
Your eyes fell down to the blunt he placed on the ashtray beside the table, it’s lit bud ceasing with a quiet hiss.
“I’m guessing that wasn’t free either, huh?” You joked, shaking your head at yesterday's memory.
“Nope,” he smiled, “but… you still haven’t returned the favor from your first hit, so I won’t be too mean for now.”
Of course he’d bring that up again.
Right here, right now as you sat mere inches in distance from each other, both buzzed out of your minds.
“And if you were to be mean,” you started hesitantly, biting your lower lip before continuing, “what would that look like?”
He thought on your words carefully before answering, “Well, I doubt it’ll ever come to that anyway, so don't worry about it.”
“Oh, and is it the weed making you confident all of a sudden?”
“No, just the simple fact that you’ll pretty much do anything I tell you to.”
You scoffed, “That’s crazy talk.”
“Is it?“ he pressed, inching closer to you. "Kiss me,” he said, lips just a gentle wind's push from touching yours.
You didn’t budge, but your heart beat escalated all the same.
“Cute,” he smirked, his large hand finding the length of your neck, gliding up to your jawline as his thumb toyed with your lower lip. “I can see it all over your face that you want me, ____.”
“Then why are you asking for it?,” you teased.
“Because I wanted to hear you say it first… even though I already knew you’d let me do this,” he whispered, closing the space between you with a kiss, his warm mouth engulfing yours as the scent of his woody cologne filled your senses.
His other hand found your lower back, pulling you impossibly close to him as the sound of both your hearts beating and his needy grunts consumed you.
Much like the watercolor moth on his wrist, Wonbin’s gentle and vibrant masculinity couldn’t get any more precious in this moment.
This is exactly what he was looking forward to, whether he decided to guise it under the façade of a favor or be completely straight up with you, he finally got you right where you wanted.
Your fingers tangled in his hair as you tugged a bit, desperate to hear more of his pretty sounds before the shadow of a smile wavered over Wonbin’s face at your actions, up until he felt your knee bump his hard-on through his pants, causing him to hiss.
“You’re being rough with me,” he said in between kissing your mouth, his hot and thick tongue darting past your lips as the kiss become messier.
Louder.
“And?” You asked, pulling away from his lips before leaving a trail of wetness down his neck, paying extra attention to a spot that made him twitch in his seat.
“And it’s so fucking hot,” he almost moaned when your teeth grazed his skin, his back meeting the couch arm as you subconsciously grinded your hips against his pants, straddling him.
“Is this how you wanted me earlier,” you said, stopping your movements, “when we were outside in the cold?”
By now his shirt was off and your fingers unbuckling his belt with gentle clinking sounds from the metal.
“No,” he said in an impossibly deep voice, looking dead at you as he spoke, “My first mind wanted to fuck you silly in the backseat… but I couldn’t to that to you.”
You giggled at his choice of words given how high you were, shimmying his pants down a bit further before halting at the waistband of his boxers, palming him gently through the fabric.
“Why not?” You asked in a soft voice, contrasting with the fierce grip you had on his clothed shaft.
“Because... even though you’re being an impossible tease right now, I felt like you deserved better than to be fucked in your best friends boyfriend's truck,” he said with a shaky voice, gripping at the couch to contain himself.
You appreciated his consideration in your heart, but didn’t wanna say anything out loud, especially not while your hands were on him like this.
And thank God for these thick curtains, otherwise the whole world would’ve seen how red his throbbing tip looked after finally being freed from the restrictions of his boxers.
You started at the base of his length before gliding upwards, spitting on the head that was already leaking a bit of his early release.
You started to pump him slowly, pearly white precum standing out as it mixed with your clear spit like watercolor.
“Use your mouth for me,” he almost begged, eyes falling victim to a blurry haze as his knuckles turned white with his grip on the cushions.
You teased him a bit by letting your warm breath ghost over his tip, eliciting a groan from him as his Adam’s apple bobbed in his throat.
The desperation inside of him only grew from here as your warm and wet lips finally wrapped around him.
You hollowed your cheeks a bit, hands resting at either side of his hips as you began using your tongue to help you take him inch by inch.
“Mmm, feels so fucking good, baby,” he said with a strained voice, his hands finding your head before his thumbs grazed your lips, one of them prying to squeeze itself into your mouth with his already thick cock.
The sight alone was enough to make him buss, so he threw his head back, biting his lip harshly to contain his sounds.
You hummed against his dick, almost feeling it in your chest once his hands pushed your head down further.
He just couldn’t deal with your teasing anymore, wanting to feel you more than he could begin to explain.
He bucked his hips upwards, rutting into your mouth like a bunny in heat. “Aww, fuck,” he cursed, watching the way your eyes glazed with tears.
He always managed to see you crying one way or another, and he loved it every single time.
Your fingernails dug into his sides as the sound of your gagging became hard to miss. He released your head with a sigh, panting as both of your faces burned with heat.
He didn’t expect you to start pumping him again though as soon as your mouth left his cock, but you knew he’d end up missing your warmth in seconds anyways.
“I wasn’t trying to be mean when I did that, by the way,” he sighed, biting his lip as you looked back at him with moist eyelashes, “I just couldn’t hold bac- nghhh~.”
A broken moan escaped his mouth once your hands found his balls, gently cradling them in your hands while alternating with pressures, your other hand still stroking him.
“I’m doing quite the favor for you, Wonbin,” you said with a rasp voice, your throat a bit sore from his actions on top of the smoke you huffed earlier, but he figured it made you sound hotter anyway. “Are you sure I’m not overdoing it?”
“Mmm… no, p-please don’t stop, baby,” he whimpered shamelessly, screwing his eyebrows tightly.
You felt yourself clench around nothing at the nickname, and judging from the way his face changed, you’d bet he noticed.
By now, he could hardly keep still, the muscles in his stomach flexing just as you felt his balls tighten, just as he was finished, chest heaving with need as you rode out his high.
That's when you started to take off your jeans, tossing them in the corner somewhere as he practically drooled at the sight of you in just a baggy top and panties, a dark spot forming at the center of your core where your arousal started to leak through.
“____,” he paused you, bringing you into his lap, your warm core sitting right atop his aching hardness, “you don’t have to go this far if you don’t want to.”
“Well maybe this isn’t just about me owing you anymore,” you whispered, kissing him on the corner of his mouth, “what if I want this?”
His cock stimulated you through your panties as he thought on your words, subconsciously rocking your hips back and forth.
“Then I’ll let you have your way with me…” he said with a rasp whisper, kissing up your neck as one of his hands massaged your tits, his other hand sneaking past your underwear to find your soaking wet clit, rubbing it slowly but with such a pressure that your fingers clung to his broad shoulders.
“I want you to make me feel like I’m falling apart,” he groaned against your skin, spreading your slick all over your aching pussy lips, “I want you to ruin me.”
You didn't waste any time with aligning him at your entrance, sliding down with ease most of the way given how wet you were.
He groaned as your tight walls fully consumed him.
“Fuck~,” you whined, feeling euphorically full as he started thrusting into you, hands gripping at your back as he became overstimulated inside you.
The drugs must've made you feel extra sensitive, especially with the way his tip fucked against your g-spot. You looked into his teary eyes, stoking his face as you helped to bounce with his movements, lewd sounds bouncing off of the walls.
“You’re being so fucking good for me, baby, just like that," he moaned as you clenched around him, too high to give a damn about filling you up raw with thick spurts of his cum.
“Wonie,” you whimpered, feeling as his hands roamed all over your climaxing body.
You felt every part of him in every part of you, and to say the least, it was worth all the awkward moments it took to get here.
THE NEXT MORNING, you woke up with your head resting on Wonbin’s chest, his messy hair spread about his head as you felt his breath faintly on your head. You probably looked like two babies with the way you were cuddling each other under the blanket.
It was a sickeningly cute sight, one might say.
“Sick and twisted,” you heard Shotaro say in the back of your mind, just as Wonbin groaned beneath you with a cat-like yawn.
“I still feel high,” was the first thing he said, making you giggle a little more than necessary before looking him in the face, the effects of your night together ever-present on his face.
“I feel…good,” you smiled.
“Good?”
“Yeah,” you hummed back, peeling yourself from his body as you blinked the tiredness from your eyes.
“You can keep a secret, right?” He asked hesitantly, voice barely audible given how quietly he spoke.
“With my whole life,” you answered, now making eye contact with him which was surprisingly way easier to do than a day ago.
He found your hand and gave it a gentle squeeze, “We should do each other favors more often… but… maybe not call it that.”
Was he initiating a sexual relationship with you?
Maybe something more?
“Well…” you started curiously, “what would you wanna call it instead, then?”
A grin peeped on his face that quickly softened when he licked his lips, giving your hand a squeeze once again before parting his lips to speak. “Maybe-”
“Fuck,” Roxanne sighed with annoyance, “you horny ducks didn’t blow my candles out last night… now the wax is no good,” she sulked.
“Oh, s-sorry about that, Roxie, we were smoking and it helped the smell,” Wonbin answered first.
“… wait, did you just call us horny ducks?” You asked with a mix of confusion, offense, and realization.
She heard you two.
Hell, of course she did.
“What? You think I didn’t hear Wonbin and his vocal ass practically singing as you did… whatever you did to him…?,” She rambled on, washing her hands in the sink before pulling some from produce from the fridge.
“Oh my God,” Wonbin cringed at himself, covering his face with his hands, though his ears were clearly burning red now.
“The blanket… you brought it in here, didn’t you,” you asked her, just now noticing that it was one she kept at the end of her bed.
“Yep! You’re welcome, freaks,” she chirped through a mouthful of raw celery, drawing your attention to the knife and cutting board she handled, “I’m gonna need your help soon though, ____. We're cooking for a mini get-together later with Taro and Sungchan.”
You hummed at her words, folding up the blanket while thankful that despite how high you two were last night, you managed to put your clothes back on before the sun came up.
“You guys should get cleaned up first, too, by the way,” she said, side-eyeing you as she diced a few green onions. “And preferably not at the same time, please... I’ve heard enough moans for the rest of this week, thanks to you two.”
⚡︎ a/n: I just wanna say thank you to everyone who read this goofy lil piece I wrote !! It's been a while since I wrote something that wasn't requesting, and I had so much fun getting back in my creative mode again !! Hopefully you guys enjoyed it as much as I did huhu !!
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“Just one more,” you mewl.
“Oh my god.”
Sae has to leave. It’s past the point of him responsibly leaving, to now, where there’s no choice of him having to leave now, if he wants any chance of making it to practice on time.
But you, however, are seemingly far from getting your Itoshi Sae fix, not wanting to be far from him at all: you whimpered and whined when he got up for his run, you snuck into his shower with him, you looped your arms around his waist while he made his lunch, now you’ve got his face gripped in your hands, sponging kisses over him.
At first, sure, he loved the attention.
But Itoshi Sae has to leave. Four minutes ago.
“Hey,” he sighs softly, trying to push your shoulders back to peel you off of him. “You know I have to go. Don’t make this harder for me.”
“You don’t have to go,” you say simply. “You and I can just be hermits forever, hide here for the rest of our lives and cuddle forever.”
Tempting. Not that he’d ever tell you that.
“Don’t you want to stay here forever with me?”
He clicks his tongue, “you know I absolutely would if I could. But,” he makes a move to step away, and you whine and squeeze tighter. “I have to go. Then, when I come home, I’ll be able to tell you all about my day while we lay down. You like that.”
“I know I do, but,” you peer up at him with your lethal pout, “I like you being here more.”
Sae looks at the clock on the stove. Then back at you. Then he sighs and leans down to steal another kiss from you, slotting your lips with his. They move in harmony, eliciting small pants from you, and his hand cradles the back of your head lovingly. You mewl and rest your hands on his hips, letting the few seconds of heaven be savored between you.
When he finally pulls away, you’re smiling dopily, giddily, and Sae knows he hit the nail on the head.
You’d wanted a goodbye kiss. Sae always knows what you want from him, and in the morning, it just so happens to be a firm, loving, assuring goodbye kiss.
“Okay,” you purr, letting your hands roam over his back, compliant and melted in his arms. “You can go now. I’m happy.”
“You’re done with me?” He asks.
“Yeah, until tonight anyways,” you hum, kissing his chin. “Better go before I change my mind.”
He cracks a smirk, “you’re a real piece of work, you know that right?”
“What can I say?” You sigh dramatically. “I know how much you love a challenge.”
You’re right.
He really, really does.
🌱 𓆡⋆.˚ 𓆝𓇼 .
넌 아름다워 푸르디푸른 눈빛
Mirrored Reflections pt. 2
Yotasuke Takahashi, Blue Period // Le Christ au Jardin des Oliviers by Eugéne Delacroix
wonbin being too scared to go on rides. he hasnt liked them since a little boy—hes never been on one but just looking at all the ups and downs and twists and turns is too intimidating. the gut to throat feeling when going down a really steep and fast coaster doesnt seem like a nice feeling to him. he doesnt understand why anyone enjoys that. wheres the pleasure? he is not the type to sacrifice his own comfort just to prove his image to you. when it comes to something scary—theres no room for discussion. he. is. not. doing. it. he doesnt care if you laugh at him or call him a loser or whatever other name. it wont diminish his ego anyway. hes more than fine to let you go do it alone as he watches from afar. on the ground. behind the safety barrier. maybe even a couple inches back from the safety barrier. just for extra safety. after all it was your idea to come to an amusement park. you knew he wasnt gonna go on the rides with you. like how dare you take your babygirl princess to a place he hates most. . . “come onnnn, ill hold your hand the whole time wonbin i promise~ its gonna be fun” even with your sweet tone he still looks at you with a completely appalled look that youre seriously trying to convince him right now. you grab at his wrists and try pulling him toward the line of the ride. youre stretching his arms out as his feet stay glued to the cement beneath them refusing to move. obviously hes not gonna budge but you just like to tease him. he throws his head back and complains. you laugh at his annoyed reaction. so you take his hands and instead drag him to a churro stand from across your view (which you know he wont reject) . you sit on a bench and share your cinnamon and sugar coated rods of fried dough—wiping the residues off his face every once in a while. you sit and lovingly stare at your boyfriend taking in his gentle nature. hes just a boy who doesnt like scary things and that makes him him