š how is this free????
this post hasn't left my mind since i've first saw it
if you canāt manage a single night without your partner, you are unhealthily codependent
If you canāt manage an evening alone while your partner is out having fun, you are unhealthily codependent
The solution to this problem is not to prevent your partner from doing things but to get used to the idea that sometimes you have to be alone
Starfish the bed. Watch the worst movie ever. Take up painting. Knit. Masturbate. Enjoy your solo time.
If you need Plan B, hereās a printable $10 off coupon.Ā
what i actually said: i forgot
what my parents heard: i hate you and i am determined to fail at life, go to prison, and bring dishonor to this family. i care about nothing except my computer and tv shows and you can just go burn in hell for all i care. also iām pregnant.
As a non-English speaker as well, I think cross, horse, sauce and boss can all rhyme
[footage of the inside of an ordinary Eastern-European home, taken with a handheld phone camera, the man filming is walking from the living room to the back door of the house]
man, narrating in russian: Every fucking year, this time of the year, the pond at my backyard gets infested. What do ponds get infested with? Frogs? Poisonous weeds? Geese? No. Not my pond.
[The man opens the back door, stepping out into a garden. Three or four nude, human-like figures dash from the borders of a pond back into the water.]
man: Rusalki! I don't know where they come from or how they get here, and I can't afford to hire an exterminator every year. I can't let my cat outside anymore. Last year a rusalka managed to drown a whole deer in my pond, the stench was unbearable.
[He walks as he speaks, approaching the pond. There are several eerily beautiful female beings peering at him from under the surface, their long hair floating in the murky water. Their eyes are gleaming in an unhuman way. The man holding the camera stops to film them.]
man, calm and deadpan: What the fuck are all of you staring at. Get jobs or something.
[One of the rusalki, smaller than the others and clearly not a fully matured adult, slowly reaches out of the water with her white, thin hand, grasping his ankle. He appears unconcerned.]
man: You can't drown me, you little idiot. You're too small. Shoo!
[A loud thud startles the rusalki, making them scatter. A second thud makes it clear these are the approaching footsteps of something massive. The man turns around and points the camera at what appears to be a house, walking past above the treeline with chicken-like legs]
man, now yelling: IF YOUR HOUSE SHITS ON MY YARD AGAIN I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD-
Hello Mimzy! Two questions. I have a blind character with magical abilities: He can tell if someone is lying or using illusions (he won't see the illusion, just know it's there.) He needs that skill because he is a judge. Am I good here, or is this a dangerous chliche? Since he is an important official, he has aides who also act as his sighted guides (he has a staff, too). In some scenes, the MCs will act as his guides, so I was wondering what do's and don't's exist for writing sighted guides?
On the topic of his magical ability: sounds great
When approaching a blind person youāve just met, say,Ā āWould you like me to act as your sighted guide? Can I help you in any way?ā If they say no, then politely step back and accept that theyāve got it from here. If they have trouble and they want your help, they will ask.
With a friend or co-worker, itās more like this:Ā āIf you ever need a sighted guide, Iām available.ā
Because sure in an environment youāre comfortable with you wonāt need a sighted guide, but if you and a co-worker are going out for lunch, or to some new venue for a work thing, then knowing they are open to acting as a sighted guide makes it a lot easier to ask for help.
āCould you guide me?ā
āYeah, sure.ā
The sighted person will offer their elbow to the blind person. Some people have a preference to which hand they use to hold onto someoneās elbow. I personally to hold on with my left hand to their right elbow, because fifty percent of the time Iām using my cane in my right hand too. If someone has a strong preference for which hand theyād like to hold onto with, they will hold out that hand.
Example when Iām with friends:
I hold out my left hand in their direction. āK, could you guide me?ā
He walks up to my left side and itās easy for me to slip my fingers around the crook of his elbow.
Some blind people prefer to hold onto the back of the elbow and walk a step behind their guide. Personally I prefer to walk side by side, and not because itās better or easier but because thatās what I got used to when I first started experiencing severe day blindness and before I started watching Molly Burkeās videos. She instructs people to follow the method of letting the blind person hold onto the back of your elbow and walk a step behind.
There are some benefits to doing it her way. If you are a step behind, you know when there is a step up or down because the elbow youāre holding onto is moving a few inches up or down as the guide steps down.
I never learned to do this, I am terrible at change, and this benefit rarely applies because my guides always tell me when weāre approaching a step.
-tell me when weāre about to step up or down and allow me to take the stairs at my own pace. This sometimes means letting go of them and holding onto the rail while I feel my way up with my feet and shoes.
-tell me when weāre stopping to cross the street and when itās clear and we will cross
-when standing at a cross walk, I like to place the tip of my cane a step ahead of my guide because drivers will see it and realize one person in this duo is blind and to exercise caution.
(It took my mum years to realize I did this on purpose and finally ask me about it, and I always do it at cross walks, even when sheās not my guide)
-Inform me of upcoming obstacles in my path and move so that I have enough room to walk around that obstacle
-Drop casual details of things in the environment that I canāt see, like a building with cool architecture, or pride flags, or an animal on the sidewalk, or if a garden is nice, or if someone on the street is doing performing. These are all things that interest me personally. If your character doesnāt care about architecture, thereās little point in their guides mentioning it. So consider your characters interests and if something might pop up in their environment
-Never touch their cane! Ever. Donāt kick it, donāt nudge it. Even if you think,Ā āfuck itās going to hit something and get damaged.ā I donāt care. You might as well have kicked me in the face. I want my cane to find everything dangerous for me, thatās why I have it, and any disruption to what itās doing is annoying and distracting. And canes are durable and we know how to take care of them.
If you must prevent our cane from touching something dangerous or fragile, then inform us verbally.
-Do not jerk them in some direction without a verbal explanation. It undermines the very precious trust we are putting in your hands to safely guide us and respect us as people.
-Do not speak for them. Unless they express to you that they have anxiety that stops them from advocating for themselves sometimes and they want you to step in if itās obvious their rights are being violated or theyāre being harassed and too afraid or stunned to say anything. And if they give you that permission and then later revoke it, you must respect it. If they give you that permission but are clearly going to advocate for themselves this time, then do not speak over them.
-Do not just leave them somewhere and walk away. If you must walk away, tell them where youāre going, regardless of whether it is to the bathroom, to throw something away in the trashcan across the room, or if you need to leave the even. Do not just leave them with someone else and assume thatās okay for all parties involved. Youāve just told the blind person you canāt be trusted to stick around if they need you.
I am in a position where my safety depends on having a sighted guide with me. Please stay with me. I am showing you a lot of trust by asking for this in the first place. Treat me like a person capable of making my own decisions, I am not helpless, this environment just did not consider blind people during its construction and planning and is inaccessible to me. If this place or event was accessible then I would not need a guide, but here we are. I am not helpless.
That is all I can think of at this hour, but anon, I greatly appreciate you asking how to write a good sighted guide because this is something I rarely touch on but a post that benefits both writers and any person interacting with a blind person in real life.