"its Gorgug, Keep Going" What If I Cry

I have like fifty posts (all unintelligible) about how adaine abernant makes me feel sat in my drafts and I also just spontaneously burst into tears earlier thinking about how I wish I could have preserved my rage like this silly little fictional character managed to. I want to be angry like adaine and bitter like adaine and mean like adaine and I want to punch my dad so hard he dies in a forest made of my worst nightmares and I wish I was angry at people other than myself right now

the anxiety I felt with adaine not having her top button done up was truly a secondary school moment I was hoping never to have to relive

some out of context mentopolis episode 3 quotes because I am loving this season

"you are not an eagle"

"well, we are falling out of a window"

*inspirational speech* *everyone nodding except mr fucks* "I guess I'll do the balls thing"

went to the bookshop today to buy the divine comedy so I can get that sweet academic validation from understanding the unreal unearth references and damn the hozier fans been at it I could only find one copy on an otherwise empty shelf 💀

listening to the conclave arc of the wizard the witch and the wild one and just being unendingly impressed at ame's ability to not burst into tears every second of every scene

I've been watching transplanar every time I feel overcome with despair about being trans (right now mostly in respect to the uk supreme court ruling last week, though it is a feeling I get a lot unfortunately) and like it's working but at what cost

having ocd that involves counting and doing fibre art and having brain fog from chronic illness and also just being bad at numbers all at once takes more brain cells than I have at my disposal

fiber crafts is like oh you think you know how to count? think again. also count again.

sometimes healing is forgiveness and sometimes it's devouring your dad with insect teeth from your ribcage and also biblically accurate criss angel is there yk

excited to have landlords in the sims so I can lock them in disgusting rooms until they die

defenestrate me please so I stop feeling these things

I feel crazy about Elias's scar, I feel crazy I feel insane, he bears the mark of his own kindness, a young and hungry, brilliant scientist who forces himself to live in a world of logic, wincing at his own reflection in the mirror because he has to face the evidence of his own emotion and righteousness adorned in blood.

The way he has to pull his hat down to hide it, which means he always has to keep his eyes to the ground, his scar literally barring him from human connection.

How he's thought of that girl who looked at him and actually smiled for Years because it means she saw his face and wasn't afraid.

Somebody through me out a WINDOW I'm LOSIN it