Padfootkinnie - Padfoot

Sirius, darling, they thought YOU were a girl.

Random employee (seeing Sirius’ engagement ring on his finger): Oh! Who’s the lucky lady?

Sirius: What?

Random Employee: The ring on your finger is an engagement ring right? Who popped the question? You or her?

Sirius: I’m wearing ripped skinny jeans, a gay pride shirt, and I have a full face of makeup on right now.

Sirius: And you think I’m with a girl??

Employee: …

(later)

Sirius: I need to look gayer

Remus: What?

That Time of Month

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Regulus being transmasc and Remus being a werewolf both sharing a common hatred of "That Time of Month"

Everyone else in the group being confused when the two would walk around grumbling and irritated together because somehow Reggie is always synced with the full moon???

Regulus is the only person Remus will ever share his non-emergency chocolate with and they both cuddle up under blankets because they get cold too easily.

Padfoot and Prongs absolutley terrified of their boyfriends during this week and sending Peter inside to check on them when needed.

Platonic moonwater has my heart fr

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meeeeee

Reblog if you've ever stayed up all night to read a fanfiction about dead gay wizards on a School night

the marauders fandom be like:

thalia casting announcement means i have an excuse to redesign her!!!

boopagedon

I am become boop, the destroyer of worlds.

pride flag butterflies 🌈

regulus, making his best man speech at sirius' wedding: statistically, the person you marry is most likely to be the person who kills you

regulus: lupin, ill help you hide the body

Sometimes, regulus would third-wheel for wolfstar, as any younger sibling does. Throughout the whole time, Remus scolds Sirius for making dirty and inappropriate jokes in front of his little brother. The thing is, Remus knows that Sirius is very dirty-minded. What he does not know is that Regulus is 10x worse. So, in reality, Regulus had been pitching in less obvious jokes just so that Sirius can vocalize that inappropriate part. Example of how it would go:

Remus telling a story:...-and so it wouldn't fit in the bag

Regulus, innocently: Oh? Was it that big?

Sirius with a smirk: I know something else that is big -

Remus: SIRIUS ORION BLACK!

(This headcanon is fully based irl situation with me, my older sister, and her boyfriend)

Marauders Reacting to Scam Calls:

Lily: Answers the phone, but once she realizes it’s a scammer, she rolls her eyes, hangs up, and blocks the number.

Remus: Answers and grabs a metal bowl, places it on top of his phone, and bangs on it repeatedly until the scammer hangs up. It’s awful but Remus thinks it’s absolutely hilarious.

James: Tries to keep the scammer on the phone as long as possible. He’ll do whatever he can to keep the person on, from pretending to be a super confused old lady to telling a fake, random story that goes nowhere. His current record is one hour and 49 minutes.

Sirius: Immediately starts flirting with the scammer. “You want my credit card information? Oh, baby what kinda man do you take me for? Buy me dinner first and then we’ll see, hot stuff.”

Peter: Actually fell for a scam once but learned from his mistake immediately. His friends still make fun of him to this day that he got scammed.

Pandora: Picks up the phone and then somehow ends up having a deep conversation with the scammer. “John, is it? You know, I think you just need to tell her your feelings. If you never confess, you’ll regret it deeply.”

Regulus: Doesn’t answer his phone, like ever. His montra is if it’s important, they’ll leave a voicemail. But even then Regulus most of the time won’t call anyone back.

Mary: Once she knows that it’s a scam call, she tries to get the scammer as mad as she possibly can. She thinks it’s a riot when they start screaming at her and then furiously hang up on her.

Marlene: Answers and also tries to keep the scammer on the line as long as possible, as she and James are competing to see who has the longest record. James is currently winning, but Marlene is only a few minutes behind. She’s extremely determined to win.

Dorcas: As soon as she realizes it’s a scammer calling her, she starts belittling the scammer. “Seriously? Out of all the things to do, you chose scamming? Do yourself a favour and get yourself a real fucking job. God, this is just bloody embarrassing for you.”

Barty: After answering, he ends up scamming the scammer and getting their credit card info instead, as well as all their personal information. Barty loves it when the scammer gets all scared and starts to plead for forgiveness.

Evan: Tries to make the scammer so uncomfortable that they hang up. “You have an amazing voice. I’d love to slice open your throat and examine those pretty little vocal cords of yours.” Scammers always hang up right away.