Like To STAB

DO IT!!!!!

The urge to turn this into a jinx themed 3d blog is strong rn

Barty: From now on we'll be using code names! I'll be "eagle 1"

Barty: *points to Regulus* Reggie is "been there done that"

Regulus: 😑

James: hey now-

Barty: *points to Evan* Evan is "currently doing that"

Evan: *smirks and highfives Barty*

Barty: *points to Remus* Remus is "happened once in a dream"

Remus: *lifts an eyebrow*

Sirius: *offended gasp*

Barty: *points to Dorcas* Cas is "if I had to pick a girl"

Dorcas: *snorts* in your dreams Crouch

Barty: And Dora is

Pandora:

Evan:

Dorcas:

Regulus:

Barty: "eagle 2"

Evan and Pandora: oh thank god

Regulus: I think I’m coming down with something - I’ve been so nauseous lately

James /srs: Maybe you’re pregnant?

*Moment of panic*

Regulus: I don’t know who’s the bigger idiot, you got suggesting that, or me for believing you

ok but what about a fic that's canon compliant except rosekiller are raising luna... and then they decide to raise harry too

what if xenophilius also died in the accident that killed pandora so luna was adopted by her uncles? what if evan finds out that dumbledore is raising harry to destroy the rest of voldemort's horcruxes (and himself, considering he is one) and absolutely loses his shit because one of his best friends and his sister died trying to get rid of one? what if he and barty decide to just steal harry after that?

harry getting to king's cross after his second year and finding that the dursleys aren't there because they were told not to come. luna appearing out of nowhere and telling him he's going to be staying with her family now, and her family being two guys who look absolutely murderous until they see her.

also can we imagine the order of the phoenix dynamic. like omfg rosekiller and sirius would be screaming at each other 24/7 and this is 100% how sirius finds out how regulus died and what dumbledore is doing with harry. i just. it would be very fun to write but also very angsty (and that's what this fandom loves, isn't it?)

regulus *arranging chess pieces*: I'm making a straight line.

sirius: ooh yes reggie make that heterosexual line!

regulus: what does heterosexual mean?

sirius: nothing :)

regulus: MOTHER, what does heterosexual mean?

walpurga: SIRIUS WHAT ARE YOU DOING

sirius: indoctrinating the children

Don't Fall for this scam.

Transgender community, please please please do NOT use this product! It will kill you if used, please do not use it whatsoever.

Please reblog and spread the word

And she has a BOYFRIEND?!?

never thought about the implications of frederick not seeing annabeth for five years. imagine the last thing you have of your daughter is a broken window lock and an unmade bed with cobwebs hanging from the headboard. and then reuniting with her five years later. and she's a foot taller. and her hair once natural is now braided and upkept. and she learned how to tie her shoes without you. and wow do you even know your daughter? and then she turns to face you from across the field. and her eyes are still the stormy gray that you remember. except they're now calculating and cold. searching for the slightest sign of a threat. and your heart sinks to the bottom of your stomach. because look what you put your daughter through.

Marauders Reacting to Scam Calls:

Lily: Answers the phone, but once she realizes it’s a scammer, she rolls her eyes, hangs up, and blocks the number.

Remus: Answers and grabs a metal bowl, places it on top of his phone, and bangs on it repeatedly until the scammer hangs up. It’s awful but Remus thinks it’s absolutely hilarious.

James: Tries to keep the scammer on the phone as long as possible. He’ll do whatever he can to keep the person on, from pretending to be a super confused old lady to telling a fake, random story that goes nowhere. His current record is one hour and 49 minutes.

Sirius: Immediately starts flirting with the scammer. “You want my credit card information? Oh, baby what kinda man do you take me for? Buy me dinner first and then we’ll see, hot stuff.”

Peter: Actually fell for a scam once but learned from his mistake immediately. His friends still make fun of him to this day that he got scammed.

Pandora: Picks up the phone and then somehow ends up having a deep conversation with the scammer. “John, is it? You know, I think you just need to tell her your feelings. If you never confess, you’ll regret it deeply.”

Regulus: Doesn’t answer his phone, like ever. His montra is if it’s important, they’ll leave a voicemail. But even then Regulus most of the time won’t call anyone back.

Mary: Once she knows that it’s a scam call, she tries to get the scammer as mad as she possibly can. She thinks it’s a riot when they start screaming at her and then furiously hang up on her.

Marlene: Answers and also tries to keep the scammer on the line as long as possible, as she and James are competing to see who has the longest record. James is currently winning, but Marlene is only a few minutes behind. She’s extremely determined to win.

Dorcas: As soon as she realizes it’s a scammer calling her, she starts belittling the scammer. “Seriously? Out of all the things to do, you chose scamming? Do yourself a favour and get yourself a real fucking job. God, this is just bloody embarrassing for you.”

Barty: After answering, he ends up scamming the scammer and getting their credit card info instead, as well as all their personal information. Barty loves it when the scammer gets all scared and starts to plead for forgiveness.

Evan: Tries to make the scammer so uncomfortable that they hang up. “You have an amazing voice. I’d love to slice open your throat and examine those pretty little vocal cords of yours.” Scammers always hang up right away.

propaganda i'm not falling for:

straight remus lupin

the MCD tag on ao3

kittywater

lily evans hate

the marauders hated peter

dumb sirius black

halloween 1981

the new hbo tv show

james cheating on lily

straight marlene mckinnon