Scars

Bras are tricky!

I have one traditional strappy, claspy bra; and everything else is a padded bralette (effectively a comfy, casual running bra).

The reason I have only the one strappy bra right now is because the aforesaid straps keep falling down; and the reason the straps keep falling down is because my band is too tight. The band is too tight as, generally speaking, women with A-cup breasts rarely have a 40″ chest.

Unfortunately for me, I am an outlier in that - unlike many women - I spent a number of years accumulating visceral fat in my torso under the influence of testosterone (contributing to its unusual size); and then decided to instigate a second puberty late in life (and hence, I have two girls that are still in their initial growth phase and will be for quite some time).

(I’m not an expert, but I think most women take a more direct route when it comes to puberty.)

It’s not the end of the world by any stretch; and with time, my proportions will fall more into line with female standards (even if I’m never going to have, say, an overly girlish skeletal structure)! As with so many other transition-related matters however; the challenge is in the wait.

In the meantime, I’m just gonna keep fixing my straps throughout the day!

It's just business

I don't think anyone here needs convincing that there's a bit of a sociopathic streak running through the C-level suites of American business.

I was reminded of this however when I witnessed an executive use the idiom "It's not personal; it's just business" unironically while discussing potential layoffs.

This phrase was purportedly coined by mob accountant Otto Berman, and famously popularized by fictional mobster Michael Corleone (signaling his murderous adoption of the criminal life).

Suffice to say: anyone that uses this phrase as originally intended lacks empathy; that it has gained such traction in America's corporate sector (and as justification for profit over all other concerns) speaks strongly to the moral terpitude of the latter.

Fire drill: addendum #2

Did I say five days? I meant seven days.

We found another three issues while rolling our changes to the production environment. There are no words.

My boss’ boss spent several years working in the UK; and he knew immediately how angry I was when I sent him an email that started out with: “Right.”

So: this week will now be dedicated to fixing some of the more egregious mistakes in the design of our customer database (and by extension, problems with the data).

Tomorrow will be an interesting day, as there will be a meeting where the other teams will be informed of the changes we are making. (Note: not asked for their input; merely informed.)

It’s going to be interesting!

Interview

So; a funny thing happened at work today!

We're trying to hire in a junior developer. My boss is great at interviewing; but software development is outside of his area of expertise (he's more of a network / infrastructure guy), so he really wanted my input on this.

I straight-up told him: "You need another me; a generalist that can do everything from front-end to back-end, and more importantly, can figure out how to do things they have no prior experience with".

Fast-forward: we have a candidate coming in for an in-person interview. Two items peak my interest:

She's female. (This absolutely shouldn't be remarkable; but unfortunately, there is still a very, very heavy gender imbalance in the software world.)

Her name was simultaneously contemporary and fashionable, yet rare.

This really made me wonder... And my suspicions were confirmed when I entered our conference room and saw that she had bright blue hair.

I can only wonder what her thought process was - how intimidating it must be to walk into a prospective job interview as a trans woman, only for one of the interviewers to be introduced.... as a trans woman.

It was a good interview. Afterwards I told my boss: "When I say you need another me, I didn't mean literally"!

The final decision isn't mine to make; but part of me really hopes that she gets the job. I see a lot of my younger self in her (outside of the obvious parallels); and I would love to be able to mentor a neophyte developer, in much the same way that I was tutored by my friend and colleague.

For as long as I can remember, I've been in the habit of carrying around all manner of spare tools and supplies for whatever minor emergencies life might throw in my direction.

Since downsizing from a backpack to a messenger bag, I've had to give greater consideration to the volume and weight of such items; but this has only served to gamify my choices!

(Heck: I've modified my current bag multiple times, to better organize the contents; and now I'm planning to construct a new bag from scratch, to hold everything exactly the way I want.)

The following are always in my bag:

Hedgehog best friend;

Keys (on a retractable winder);

Wallet and checkbook;

A6 notebook(s), pencil, ultra-fine marker;

Hairbrush, hair ties;

Netbook and charger;

Folder of miscellaneous papers;

Spare N95 masks and hand sanitizer;

Tissues, spare pad¹.

There are two optional item sets that I include unless traveling light - a personal care bag:

Nail clippers, nail file, tweezers;

Hand lotion, lip balm;

Travel toothbrush, flushable wipes;

Medications;

Basic first-aid supplies (i.e. Band-Aids, pain relief).

...And what could broadly be termed a 'repair kit':

Multi-tool², bit driver, additional bits;

Needles, thread, safety pins;

Universal charging cable³;

Emergency rain poncho⁴.

¹ I'm a great believer in the idea that trans girls should carry a spare pad, in solidarity. However, this also proved personally helpful during my lengthy period (no pun intended) of post-reassignment healing.

² Once used to fix the latch on an ornery stuffing machine at a Build-A-Bear.

³ Each year I attend a convention with my friend; and one of the major highlights is a puzzle-solving activity - the research for which can quickly drain a phone battery.

⁴ Prompted by a situation in which I had to cross a small distance through driving rain, and did not have an umbrella with me.

@ people who carry bags everywhere what do you put in them what is there to bring other than chapstick, keys, phone and maybe a tampon why are you packing a suitcase to be outside for 5 hours

Phone

Today I went bra-shopping at the mall. At one point I put my phone down and thought to myself:

"This is just like that one coworker of yours - the one that leaves his phone laying around all the time. Glad I'm not like that!"

It was therefore inevitable that a few minutes later, I realized I no longer had my phone on me. Fortuitously, some kind soul had handed it into security; which I knew the second I walked into the security office as it was sitting right there on their reception desk.

What follows is, verbatim, the conversation that took place between myself and the security officer on duty:

Me: "Hello! I was going to ask if anyone handed in an iPhone 7 in a black case, but that appears to be it right there. Probably you want to verify it's mine; so I think you'll find the unlock code is ████."

Security: "Ah. Well. Can you tell me what the image is" - proceeds to hold phone very close to face, like a hand of poker - "...on the lock screen?"

Me: "Yes; that will be a picture of me and my daughter."

Security: "..."

Me: "...Of course, I look very different now. I don't have a beard, for one thing."

Security: "..."

Me: "..."

Security: "What was that code again?"

Anyway, I got my phone back!

Clothing

It’s fascinating to me how much male and female fashion differ; and how much variety there is in the latter.

It used to be that I would buy shirts; and I would buy pants; and generally speaking, pretty much any shirt would match any set of pants. Getting dressed was limited to randomly picking out one of each.

(To be fair, one can go fairly in-depth with male fashion; and I will be the first to put my hand up and state that I did not do so, as - I now recognize in retrospect - I found the act of shopping for male clothing dysphoric.)

Now I have all these amazing pieces of clothing; but there is so much variety - so much range! - that that any one item will only match a few others (or even none at all)!

I will invariably find myself thinking: “Now I need to buy x to go with this”... And I am loving it!

I am absolutely astonished that someone else knows this song; let alone in the year 2024!

(That bass line! The audacity to rhyme ‘empire’ with ‘vampire’ in a mock-Transylvanian accent! Absolutely spectacular on all fronts; 10/10, no notes!)

Song of the day is Bloodsucker by Paralyzed age teehee

Solo Guitar - Vol. 1, by Scott Keever

13 track album

My friend Elizabeth introduced me to her friend Scott;and he is an incredible guitarist. He also routinely organizes online shows via his Facebook, which have been a thankful distraction during this strange and stressful time. Check him out!

After months of silly overwork, I finally got to see my stylist! I feel so much better now that my hair is both multicolored and a more manageable length. 🙂