Ghalib.

I need to take a quick nap fuuuucccckkkkk

15.12.2024 , sunday

I have my pre boards from 18th and I'm just cramming up all year's syllabus right now...whew

gotta finish entire physics tonight so that I can do maths tomorrow, I'm gonna be more active over here cuz i am in desperate need of inspo

prolly gonna stay up till 4:30 or 5 am

no way out , gotta lock in 🗣️

to be done -

electric charges & field

electrostatics

current electricity

moving charges

magnetism

emi

AC

if I'll be able to finish this by 5 somehow then I'll also complete electromagnetic waves

how does active recall work?

active recall is a method of studying where you actively stimulate your memory during the learning process. instead of passively reviewing notes or textbooks, you test yourself on the material, forcing your brain to retrieve information. this process strengthens your memory and enhances your understanding of the subject.

the principle behind active recall is simple: the more you practice retrieving information, the better you become at remembering it. this technique involves:

asking yourself questions about the material.

summarizing information without looking at your notes.

using flashcards to test your knowledge.

teaching the material to someone else.

22.12.2024 , Sunday

my physics exam didn't go well at all , actually yesterday sucked , the teachers didn't let us leave after our exams and we had to wait a long time, there were other things as well, just a bad day

Well tomorrow is my English exam!! I'm usually very excited for english because it's a relatively easy subject and actually quite interesting

It's just very..very lengthy.. literally.. I'm usually writing until the last second and my hands are cramping

I hope I'm able to manage the time well :))

I have gone over the writing format and I have to read a few chapters

Here's all that I need to do

the rattrap - selma lagerlöf

The interview - Christopher Silvester and Umberto Eco

Indigo - Louis Fischer

Poets and pancakes - asokamittran

Memories of childhood - zitkala-sa , bama

Tiger king - kalki

Journey to the end of the earth - tishani doshi

Aunt Jennifer's tigers - Adrienne rich

whew , I hope tomorrow doesn't suck , I'm able to finish all the questions and they let me leave after the exam!!!!!

Wish me luck!! (pray for me y'all) 🩷🩷🐝

I need to find my way back

[please read the previous poems for context ly]

Letters from juliet (IV)

I woke up today and realised

that it isn't about your name not being there on my lips

it's not about the roses not smelling like you

or the coffee not reminding me of us

or me not being afraid of thunder anymore

It's the fact that I wish it wasn't this way

I , deeply, desperately, delusionally wish for -

my lips to be stained by your name

not just roses but every single flower to remind me of you

me to be scared of every thunderstorm

and that is because

a part of me

a stupid godamn part of me

wishes that you'll be there to comfort me

maybe I'm still holding onto that part of me

a poet Ahmad Faraz once said

"ranjish hī sahī dil hī dukhāne ke liye aa

aa phir se mujhe chhoḌ ke jaane ke liye aa"

Just the thought of you coming back generates more happiness than the inherent pain of you walking away

which you will

you always do

with so much ease

it makes me question humanity

Maybe you didn't like me

but just for humanity,

I expected you to turn around

but you didn't

Or maybe you did and I didn't catch you

(Even though I haven't looked away since the first time I saw you)

how is it so easy for you?

how is it so hard for me?

did you ever have tears in your eyes for me?

No

No you didn't

I did

Way too many times

I am drowing in them right now

I don't know why I have them

Maybe I am sad that you have left

maybe I am sad that I didn't leave with you

Maybe I am sad that you left with someone else

Maybe I am worried that this "someone" won't love you as much as I did

Maybe I am worried that this "someone" does love you as much as I did

Maybe I am angry that I made a fool of myself

That I wasted my time on you

maybe that's all you were

a waste of time and energy

maybe that's how I want to remember it

But the stupid part of me won't let that happen

I want to remember you as my first love

As the first person I shared a part of myself with

The first person who made me feel stupid

The person who made me a hopeless romantic

And then left me hopelessly

and now I want to turn into you

I want to pretend to care

I want to pretend to like someone

I don't want to be a hopeless romantic anymore

So that just the way I fixed you

Someone fixes me

I am sure many people want to

Many people are stupid like me

Yk the worst thing about habits?

they take 21 days to form

But won't even go away in 21 years

(I can't confirm it I'm still 16)

"Marne ke baad bhi meri aankhen khuli rhi

Aadat pari thi inhe intezaar ki"

~habits

maybe it's not even the "habit"

maybe it's just the aftertaste of it

maybe the aftertaste is like a scar

which heals over time but still leaves an imprint

"i looked down on my body

only to find myself drowned in those footprints

a sign of visitors"

I have to come to terms with it

That I am here and will always be

But you have walked away

far away

I have to let these scars heal

I have to

I can't let them stay open

they'll catch an infection

maybe I want them to

because that stupid part of me

hopelessly hopes that'll you'll come to treat it

that you'll kiss it better

you won't

someone will

someone will walk in to treat all the wounds they didn't create

someone will walk in to heal something they didn't break

"i saw the tides gently wipe away some of these footprints while leaving the most

only to make space for more visitors to come

the visitors leave , their footprints stay

until another visitor walks over them"

Last one standing

Unique ; is it the new normal?

I was 4 when I first heard the adjective

I was 10 when I heard it being used for me

I was joyous and blushed timidly in glee

I thought of myself as distinctive as the snow that falls on December 1st

I thought of myself as the honey dew that quenches the oak's thirst

i thought of myself as sole as the titanic beneath the sea

I thought of myself as second to noone ; there's only and only me

But as I grew up

I stepped down

I lurched around

I stumbled upon an abundance

Of personalities that strike resemblance

to me , and me to others

"Was it all just a farce?"

Was I not as unparalleled as the striking beauty of marble under moon?

was I not as novel as the trooping of hues paraded across june?

was I not as isolated in this world as i thought I would be?

I wanted to be second to noone; the world to have only and only me

But as I walk through my life I find a piece of myself in everyone I see

some beautiful some horrific

and some beautifully horrific

some prude , some so kind

some weak and some with a sharp mind

some eccentric, some basic

some with witts and some ritz

some ambitious, some unsure

and some who couldn't take it anymore

but one piece that I'd find in them all

t'was their wish to be the last one to fall

that one piece encapsulating everything-myself

a bit of me that made them me

a bit of me that made me myself

no matter who's in the right and who's wrong

no matter whose weapon is feeble and whose strong

no matter who started first

no matter who said more

I'll always have the last laugh

I'll always reach the shore

so I am second to noone

there will only and only be me

because I'll be the last one standing

no matter what the scene

17.12.2024, Tuesday

I have my physical education exam tomorrow, and cause it's pre boards i actually need to get my shit together.

I'm talking to my friends a lot these days so I get a good dose of serotonin <3

speaking of serotonin, i still need to finish biomechanics lol , here's everything I still need to do

training in sports chapter

biomechanics

psychology and sports

physiology and injuries in sports

test and measurement in sports

revise all the yoga poses (ik it's insane)

solve 2-3 sample papers

I'll go to sleep 3am anyhow , gotta have my brain functional

wish me luck!!!!!!! (Pray for me folks)

jimin riding the struggle bus all over connecticut feat. jungkook sometimes helping and sometimes not helping