shaunaaaaaaa
”wait- i die??”
van my love oh my god.
her entire existence really is media. it’s all a performance. shes watching her life through the television and reacting to the plot twists as an onlooker. and she dies at the end. the twist is that she dies at the end and now she’s watching herself die and fuck it’s just so real.
my dawg
fuuuuuuuu k
adam parrish looks different every time you see him. that’s partially demonstrated in the first chapters of cdth, but sometimes his hair is red. sometimes it’s a spunky strawberry blond, or a golden brown, or hay colored yellow. the skin under his eyes is so thin that it gets all purple and veiny, especially when he’s tired but that’s kind of always. sometimes his skin is a sickly sort of grayish yellow but others it’s a dusty tan, a product of working on his cars in the virginia sun. his clothes always seem to fit him differently, it’s the way they hang or perhaps the way he holds himself. every once in a while he has these scary, angry, blue eyes, an inherited gift from his father — but more often theyre the same muddy grey as the sky he looked up at, clouds rolling in overhead, from when he was young. he is stringy and small and six feet tall at the same time. unlike gansey, this has never been “all there is.” and it never will be.
i feel like im the only one who just feels fucking sad about lottie this episode. shes a mentally ill unmedicated girl trapped in the wilderness trying to live up to the insane impossible expectations put on her by a bunch of scared teenagers. she's trapped in the throes of a twelve month long psychotic episode. she's scared, paranoid, and delusional. she's existing in a state of unreality exasperated by the fact that everyone around her is feeding into her delusions and encouraging them, because if they don't, what do they have ? there's no false hope, right ? only hope. and the only people giving her any pushback or trying to ground her are constantly attacked and ostracized for not prioritizing "the good of the group". and she just fucking killed someone. she's 18 and she killed someone.
rip to this canonically absolute fucking dumbass (picks fights with the deranged butcher, gets dumped for the guy's cousin, is too sexy for this cave, falls into a pit TWICE)
fucking hell
God, the little-kid panic-excitement of Van going “I’m gonna call my mom!” This woman we KNOW isn’t a present or really functional parent, but Van’s impulse is still to reach for her. Van, who has nearly died so many times, who is faced with a piece of tech that is designed to save her life. Who finds it broken. Who finds it just out of reach. You can keep going, but we’re gonna keep pulling that football before you can kick it. You must keep going, but the flames will just keep licking your heels. Of course she grows up fixing old tech. Of course she does. Of course she still dreams of flames. Of course she does.
It’s not lost on me that the “softer” characters - Nat, Travis and Van, the ones who wanted to leave, the ones who couldn’t handle the idea of another winter in the wilderness were the ones who couldn’t adjust to life back home. None of them held down a traditional job, had a serious relationship or started a family. All three died because of their softness. Whereas the “darker” characters got better at compartmentalizing, seeming more put together because they were able to emulate a normal life. Shauna and Tai both got married became mothers. Tai had a very successful career. Misty is still the only one holding down a job. As for Melissa? I think she might be the best performer of them all and that might make her the most dangerous
craziest thing about jerejean is that the stress smoker of the relationship is somehow not the french bisexual guy