Natalie’s entire life was about giving everything she had to others and getting nothing in return.
She hiked for miles in subzero temperatures just to find something to hunt and feed the group, and instead of being met with gratitude, she was blamed when the food ran out.
She extended compassion and support to everyone else when they needed it (comforting Lottie in the middle of the night, holding Shauna’s hand and never leaving her side throughout her labor, understanding Travis’ grief when no one else would) and yet she is always completely alone in her own moments of suffering.
She took on the burden of leadership even while still reeling from the trauma of Javi’s death and the cabin fire, guiding the group out of one of their darkest times. She guided them in building shelter and creating a thriving community. And they repaid her by pushing her to the ground, calling her a murderer, stripping her of her leadership role, and forcing her to butcher the body of her only father figure— whom she had just killed out of mercy and necessity for the group, so that no one else would have to bear the burden of his blood on their hands.
She risked everything to carry out an elaborate plan to get everyone rescued—climbing a mountain, contacting help, ultimately saving all of their lives—and still, in the adult timeline, they treat her like she’s beneath them.
She literally died as a sacrifice so the rest of them could keep living and all she got was a 1 minute funeral.
”wait- i die??”
van my love oh my god.
her entire existence really is media. it’s all a performance. shes watching her life through the television and reacting to the plot twists as an onlooker. and she dies at the end. the twist is that she dies at the end and now she’s watching herself die and fuck it’s just so real.
i want to talk about how crazy this line "brown like the gaze that sought jean out in every room" actually is. because what does this mean????
jean has noticed that whenever jeremy walks into a room he immediately does a scan to find jean. so what? these boys are so attuned to each other already that jean actually notices jeremy looking for him?
nora are you trying to say that there's a shift in jeremy once he finds jean in any given place?? does his body relax? do his eyes soften or shine a little brighter? you're telling me it's a physical visible thing that jeremy walks into a room and his first thought is "where is jean?" and then what?? when he finds him he goes "ah there he is" and there's a shift??? in him??? when he sees jean?? and jean can see that? he's aware of it?? he's noticed it?? it makes him feel safe enough to associate jeremy's searching brown eyes (searching for him. for Jean.) with everything else that brings him peace??? like are we hearing this???
or am i crazy? am i deluded?? am i losing my senses???
fuuuuuuuu k
adam parrish looks different every time you see him. that’s partially demonstrated in the first chapters of cdth, but sometimes his hair is red. sometimes it’s a spunky strawberry blond, or a golden brown, or hay colored yellow. the skin under his eyes is so thin that it gets all purple and veiny, especially when he’s tired but that’s kind of always. sometimes his skin is a sickly sort of grayish yellow but others it’s a dusty tan, a product of working on his cars in the virginia sun. his clothes always seem to fit him differently, it’s the way they hang or perhaps the way he holds himself. every once in a while he has these scary, angry, blue eyes, an inherited gift from his father — but more often theyre the same muddy grey as the sky he looked up at, clouds rolling in overhead, from when he was young. he is stringy and small and six feet tall at the same time. unlike gansey, this has never been “all there is.” and it never will be.
my dawg