Latest Posts by poetatwork - Page 2

Victorian-Inspired Embroidered Puzzle Purse, 2023 (ink and cotton and silk embroidery on kona cotton)

The puzzle purse is a form of itogami, the origami of folded purses. In the late 18th and early 19th centuries, the puzzle purse became a popular form for love notes and Valentines because they could hold little trinkets (rings, miniatures, locks of hair) and did not require an envelope to seal. This one is reimagined in cloth: the embroidery is permanent, but the message can be ironed away and rewritten. A love that lasts because it can be changed and be made new.

Every page in this book is like a kick to the gut, but it's also validating my experience so much. Its painful to realise what I lived through is exactly this and that there's no repairing that though.

what your favorite William Morris print says about you (a non-exhaustive list)

strawberry thieves: you're a basic bitch and there's nothing wrong with that. those little fuckers are cute

tree of life: you think we all moved on from the whimsigoth trend way too soon

pimpernel: you're going to put an Alphonse Mucha print on top of this and you know it

voysey: you're a massive goth. you've probably watched Bram Stoker's Dracula a lot

blackthorn: you're a massive goth who doesn't like making things too hard on yourself

willow boughs: you say "timeless" "classic" and "modern twist" a lot when decorating your house

owl and willow: admit it- you really just want mid-19th century panoramic wallpaper

melsetter: admit it- you really just want 15th-century Gobelin tapestries

lodden: you genuinely believe, deep down, that you will decode the Voynich Manuscript someday

marigold: you enjoy versatility. you probably own the same shirt in four colors- and why shouldn't you?

balmoral: your ringtone is Rule, Brittania

I don't have a favorite Morris print because I prefer [insert another late 19th century textile/wallpaper designer here]: you are a hipster

I don't have a favorite Morris print because I don't know any: you have a social life

three hearts that beat as one | old hollywood throuples anyone???

what are you waiting for? someone to grant you permission? the perfect and permanent emotion? a shooting star to magic away every problem you have or ever have had? alright, wait away then. but no one is going to live your life for you while you wait to become someone else

I think 99% of my advice for healthy relationships is to communicate, especially in advance.

Talk to your loved ones about conflict before you have one. Talk about how you react to conflict and ways you can solve conflict together. If you need to walk away during conflict to gather your thoughts, let them know before you have a conflict so that they can be prepared for the fact that you may need space. If there are certain things that really upset you that typically come up during conflicts, let them know.

Talk to your loved ones about your insecurities before they become a problem. Maybe this means planning a way to communicate that you could use some reassurance. Maybe this means getting a letter from them, or screenshots to read when you need to.

Talk to your loved ones about boundaries. If something they tease you about is actually upsetting, communicate that and let them know. Our loved ones generally want to make our lives better and wouldn’t continue to do stuff if they knew it was hurting you. They don’t know there’s a problem to fix if they aren’t told.

Talk to your loved ones if something is bothering you. Do you feel you always message first or initiate contact? Talk to them about it. Don’t start playing the “I’m not going to message until they do” game. Try not to become passive aggressive or hint at the problem.

Talk to your loved ones about things you like, appreciate or love. Give them the opportunity to do these things for you.

If a loved one is venting to you, ask what they need if they don’t tell you. Ask if they’d like support, or for you to offer validation or advice, or just to listen. This can prevent so much. When we get advice sometimes when we’re upset, we’re not in a place for it and it can make it worse and create conflict.

If a loved one is struggling and you don’t know how to help, don’t just avoid them because you don’t know what to say. Ask them how they’d like support. Sometimes people just want company, a distraction or to know they’re loved. On the other side of this, try to tell your loved ones how they can help. Often they do want to help, they just don’t know help.

I could go on and on about this, but perhaps you get the idea by now.

Our loved ones aren’t mind readers, but sometimes we expect them to be and that isn’t fair to them or us. That usually ends with both you and them being upset. Communicate directly when you can.

Don’t sabotage your peace because chaos is familiar

GET YOUR BODY OUT OF SURVIVAL MODE SO YOU CAN CREATE FROM YOUR HEART

sometimes I take life really seriously but actually the key is 2 relax. Be silly. Try new things. See my friends. Create plans that I look forward 2. Spend time with nice warm people.

Henry Miller in a letter to Anaïs Nin, A Literate Passion: Letters of Anaïs Nin Henry Miller, 1932-1953

wishing you a safe return back to yourself

Joy Sullivan, from Instructions for Traveling West: Poems; “Instructions for Traveling West”

Stephanie Foo, What My Bones Know: A Memoir of Healing from Complex Trauma

sorry for being indecisive, I haven’t had any prophetic dreams to guide me in a while

Romanticizing your life sounds so stupid but it will help you cope. Taking extra time to make a yummie coffee in the morning, sitting outide observing the wind in the trees, writing poems, going to old book stores, watching your childhood favourite movies, listening to romantic jazz, writing in a coffee shop, making sure you have moody lighting in your room, putting on asmr rooms as a background noise while you work. It's not a solution, but it makes things a bit better.

Alright tell me in the tags, what’s Your Poem? That poem you heard once and it has dwelt within you ever since?

Had a shitty stupid day, came home and made myself a hot buttered rum, and with the first sip every sore muscle in my body relaxed. In case you need a cure like that, here's my recipe. I make mine in a big ass mug so if you use a standard coffee mug you'll need to size it down. It's all to taste, anyway.

Brew mug most of but not all the way full with strong black tea. Traditionally it's made with hot water but we all know tea is the best kind of hot water. Chai would probably be great but I love just an English breakfast.

Add a couple spoonfuls of brown sugar, a splash of vanilla extract, a little cinnamon, and a pinch of salt (a little more than you think you'll want)

Add rum. A strong warm flavor is ideal - black rum, spiced rum, I got a vanilla one once that made phenomenal buttered rums. Strength is up to you. In a big mug that I'm just drinking for comfort I'll still put a good shot in there, but if you want you can mix this shit deadly and it'll still be delicious.

Look at me. Look at me. I wouldn't lie to you about this. "Buttered" is literal. Add a big hunk of butter. No, bigger than that. Whisk it in until it melts. When you got enough in there it should be just a little paler and more opaque than it started.

If you sip it and it tastes sweet but flat, like it's missing something, add more butter or salt. Enjoy. Don't say I never did anything for you.

when simone de beauvoir said “i’m reliving it, neutralizing it, and transforming it into an inoffensive past that i can keep in my heart without either disowning it or suffering from it. that’s not easy. it’s at once painful and poetic.”

I think sometimes healing is so hard because there’s a point where you don’t recognize yourself. It’s like, if I don’t have that fundamental badness in me, am I still me? Who am I without the ugly part? there’s beauty in the transformation but there’s also love in the familiar and the wrongness feels like love because it knows you. what I’m saying is that even when it’s good, sometimes you need to mourn the change

This a a reminder to not fall victim to the sunk-cost fallacy. Just because you invested time and energy into something, does not mean you should indefinitely waste more time and energy on it, if you decide it’s not what you want anymore. This goes for anything, from books, to relationships, to jobs, to hobbies, etc.

If it’s not serving you anymore, move on.

Double Standard Dictionary: A Guide to Things That Are Only "Problems" When Women Do Them

Let's have an honest conversation about something that drives me absolutely crazy. You know those little comments and judgments that somehow only seem to apply to women? Yeah, we need to talk about that.

The Professional Edition

When men vs. when women do the exact same thing:

He's assertive → She's aggressive

He's focused → She's cold

He's passionate → She's emotional

He's dedicated → She's obsessed

He's confident → She's arrogant

He's strategic → She's manipulative

He's busy → She's neglecting her life

The Dating Double Standards

The classics that never seem to die:

He's dated around → She has "a past"

He's a bachelor → She's "left on the shelf"

He's selective → She's picky

He's career-focused → She's married to her job

He's a social butterfly → She's attention-seeking

He's "finding himself" → She needs to settle down

He's direct → She's desperate

The Appearance Police

The endless contradictions:

Look professional, but not too try-hard

Be attractive, but not attention-seeking

Wear makeup, but keep it "natural"

Be fit, but not too muscular

Dress well, but not too sexy

Look youthful, but not immature

Age gracefully, but never look old

The Emotion Edition

How it's perceived:

His anger is justified → Her anger is hysteria

His sadness is deep → Her sadness is dramatic

His stress is from hard work → Her stress is from "not coping"

His excitement is enthusiasm → Her excitement is over-the-top

His concerns are valid → Her concerns are paranoid

His anxiety is pressure → Her anxiety is weakness

The Family Chronicles

The never-ending judgment:

He's babysitting → She's just parenting

He's helping around the house → She's doing her job

He's focused on work → She's neglecting family

He needs time to himself → She's selfish

He's weighing his options → She's wasting time

He's figuring out what he wants → Her clock is ticking

The Office Politics

Things I'm tired of seeing:

Men get mentored → Women get hit on

Men network → Women "sleep their way up"

Men are busy → Women "can't handle it"

Men are thorough → Women are perfectionists

Men delegate → Women are lazy

Men need work-life balance → Women are uncommitted

The Social Scene

The ridiculous expectations:

Be fun but not too wild

Be social but not too friendly

Be smart but not intimidating

Be successful but not threatening

Be independent but not difficult

Be strong but still need help

Be confident but still humble

The Success Paradox

What we're dealing with:

Be ambitious but not threatening

Lead but don't be bossy

Achieve but don't outshine

Negotiate but don't be demanding

Succeed but stay likeable

Excel but remain modest

Win but make it look effortless

The Reality Check

What this actually means for us:

Constant second-guessing

Walking on eggshells

Energy drain from overthinking

Imposter syndrome

Reduced authenticity

Limited self-expression

Unnecessary stress

The Way Forward

What we can do about it:

Call it out

Name the double standard

Question the logic

Point out the inconsistency

Support other women

2. Break the patterns

Reject unfair labels

Define success personally

Set our own standards

Celebrate authenticity

3. Change the narrative

Share success stories

Highlight achievements

Create new networks

Mentor others

To Every Woman Dealing With This

Remember:

You're not "too much"

Your achievements are earned

Your feelings are valid

Your ambitions are worthy

Your standards are important

Your voice matters

Your path is yours

Link to our website: https://girltalkcollectives.com/

It’s weird how everyone hating you when you’re nine years old still affects your self esteem when you’re 26 like yeah nobody came to my birthday party but that was like 17 years ago why is it stopping me from going to a gay bar

Chai tea bag + lil but of brown sugar + apple cider packet + 16 oz. mug of hot but not quite boiling water

it will not Fix You but like. maybe. maybe.

I have a folder called Time is a Flat Circle in which I collect evidence of humanity. Here is most of them.

Patti Smith

you have to let yourself be a weird woman or you will not survive