Latest Posts by quantumqstar - Page 3

Stuff like this is pretty livejournal but whateverrr. This is an art tumblr and if I'm not gonna post art I might as well complain about it WOO

I thought about it a lot more and realized that I AM shy. Not in general, I don't really have any social anxiety IRL, though sometimes people think I am shy (or a huge snob) because I'm super quiet or whatever. I am TOTALLY freakin shy about my art tho omg. I remember telling my mom that if I ever had my own gallery show I wouldn't be able to actually be there, ohmygod, a room full of people looking at my art with me THERE? NOPE I'm one of those assholes who won't let people look in my sketchbook. Its not like its a diary or anything but nope. nope.

I wasn't like this at ALL when I was small but when you're a hypersensitive hyperemotional weird kid you either learn to grow a thick skin (which everyone in the damn world insists sensitive people do, guess what, it's not always possible, this is how I am MADE) or you just make a container for youself deep inside and you don't share it with anybody. I am made almost entirely out of secrets. A two dimensional holographic projection, only one side visible. I feel like there is pressure to share my creative self on one hand and then on the other hand I'm supposed to just let the downsides of getting attention just slide off my back? When that stuff hits me way harder than it has any right to? I've been doing this long enough to have figured out what I can and can't handle. And YEAH it's honestly not much! I don't WANT to be this way but I've spent over 10 years trying to change and it didn't work so why should I feel ashamed anymore. Maybe someday things will change and I'll be in a safer place for all this. I'd like that because I believe I have a LOT to offer, everyone wants to make their mark in the world I guess. I have some ideas and plans for my life but I dunno if that'll be what makes the difference. MAYBE SOMEDAY I'll just be this unstoppable fountain of awesome creative works.

I'll keep striving to make that happen. It just hasn't yet. SHRUG.

...more clothes augh

I read Bunny's discussion about her intentions/goals and so I mean, *flail*, what with the awesome tag its crowdsourced costume design almost, cannot deal. CLOTHES. I love stripes too but I'm super biased toward vertical ones especially on legs #teamverticalstripes :p

There's this special kind of el wire that's braided and animated in a way that makes it look like flowing liquid/marching ants/THE FUTURE so imagine that on the bolero jacket hnnnnnnghggh dear gOD I want to make it seriously Bunny if you're reading this I would absolutely make that for you just say the word because ROBOT CLOTHES GODAMMIT my stupid sketchbook is filling up with doodles of costumes (yup, totally including hatchy & the spine) adfhgdaadsdgf

I think I might take a break tho, I just want to make everything so badly but I can't (need a new sewing machine, moving soon, currenly traveling for work bla bla bla)... and it's starting to hurt my feelings T_T

I just love costumes so much you guys *ugly crying*

FFFF I guess I could... delete the door?? I haven't looked at the comic in months and the only page I saved before it was taken down was the one with the exterior of the manor, for reference. It looks like there's a door there but I suppose it could simply be a hole. OHGOD I have no idea I need more to go on HALP

WALTER MANOR?

Ok this is gonna be rambly bear with me. I don’t blab about what I post here usually cos portraits and clothes whatevs, self-explanatory. But ARCHITECTURE, OK. I am so happy with this you don’t even know. I’ve messed with sketchup a few times in the past with the intention of modeling locations in my stories but this is the first time I was motivated enough to power straight thru 3D’s infuriating learning curve (I still can’t function in Blender at ALL the interface makes me cry but I’ll keep trying). I traced the elevation from the comic and the rest has been a series of educated guesses from what I know about architecture. It’s pretty straightforward to figure out scale and floor locations based on window placement. I reeeally want to do the whole manor because it’s fun to think about all the wacky stuff that must be in it and I’m seriously looking forward to the comic for exactly this reason. Seriously, where is Bebop.

So YEAH I totally want to do the interior, etc, but that depends on what Bunny and Sam share with us. Hint hint.

Hint hint

WALTER MANOR?

Ok this is gonna be rambly bear with me. I don't blab about what I post here usually cos portraits and clothes whatevs, self-explanatory. But ARCHITECTURE, OK. I am so happy with this you don't even know. I've messed with sketchup a few times in the past with the intention of modeling locations in my stories but this is the first time I was motivated enough to power straight thru 3D's infuriating learning curve (I still can't function in Blender at ALL the interface makes me cry but I'll keep trying). I traced the elevation from the comic and the rest has been a series of educated guesses from what I know about architecture. It's pretty straightforward to figure out scale and floor locations based on window placement. I reeeally want to do the whole manor because it's fun to think about all the wacky stuff that must be in it and I'm seriously looking forward to the comic for exactly this reason. Seriously, where is Bebop.

So YEAH I totally want to do the interior, etc, but that depends on what Bunny and Sam share with us. Hint hint.

Hint hint

Thank you for being honest about how your college life killed your art. I've completely stopped working on my art. I only doodle at work now. Your art has always inspired me and it's good to know that I'm not alone in feeling stressed anytime I want to sit down and finish something more than a doodle. Someday I will draw again, or maybe I won't but at least I won't feel the same level of shame & betrayal to my supporters anymore. I gotta heal up and find my motivation again, my reason for art.

-octopusowl

I had an old post talking a bit about how much I hated art school… heh. I KNOW YOUR PAIN THOUGH. I UNDERSTAND. I have SO much unfinished art that I think could be really great but I just... can't. I've always avoided persuing art jobs cos it's hard enough for me to draw the stuff I *like*. I see how much even my most talented and well-connected artist friends struggle and they actually love what they do and I'm just like nope. Not gonna.

I'll be real with you, this is gonna freak some people out but I don't love drawing. I hate drawing comics because it is too much damn drawing, and discovered very early that I could never be an animator despite how much I love it because the thought of drawing that much fills me with existential horror. I love CREATING. Drawing is just the best way to get my ideas out. I was driven to draw well so I could convey my ideas clearly. I actually enjoy making stuff so much more, but crafts and fabricating is EXEPENSIVE and drawing is practically free. Making things requires tools and workspace, drawing at the minimum requires a pen and paper and you can do it anywhere. So basically 99% of what I draw is stuff I want to make but can rarely afford to :C My dream is to someday have a props/costumes shop where I just make so much cool shit (for example dyeing and styling wigs with weird colors and crazy anime styles is SO much fun omg- PLUS I'm currently obsessed with the idea of making glowing fiber optic wigs but once I calculated how much it would cost... uh. Augh. Still totally gonna make it happen eventually though). That's why I care about practical costume design, when I'm drawing clothes I've pretty much already drafted the patterns in my head and have chosen the fabrics, etc. I make decent money right now so that's actually what I'm working toward and yes holy cow it costs SO much. And next on my to-get list is a high quality sewing machine I can feel my bank account crying already :C

UM SO my theory is sometimes its possible that the thing you struggle to do is actually tangential to the thing you REALLY love and that's why it can be difficult and unsatisfying, despite seeming like its something you "should" love. I hope you can find that thing. I only just realized this about myself recently. And even if that's not true for you, at some point you may end up in a better headspace and find joy in it again, because if you did once, why not again? I can understand the guilt but just remember that art is a gift, given freely *when you can afford to*, and you don't owe anyone gifts.

When designing characters (especially costumes--I'm thinking specifically of the organic-nanotech Iron Man) do you find yourself doing a lot of research specifically for that project, or does it tend to grow more often out of subjects you've already taken an interest in/have knowledge of? Are there any particular resources you find yourself using frequently for that kind of research?

-tyuran

Gosh. WELL. I read. A lot. Like when I go on a research tear I read so much it freaks out people around me 8| Super easy to read lots because I own a kindle. I just get obsessed with things and I have to learn everything I can so I tend to start with wikipedia and then move on to books, and lurk on discussion forums about the topic. (example, I am obsessed with jeeps, I am a member of the cult of Wrangler we have a secret wave and everything and I want to turn mine into a zombie apocalypse response vehicle someday :p and now it is super easy for me to talk about cars with all the dudebros I work with ffff)

Specifically with biotech Ironman tho? I was majoring in biology before I had to quit school for the final time due to uh, poverty. I love SCIENCE so when I nerd out over sci/fi I get tons of ideas for story and character design. It makes me a huge snob tho, like seriously people need to stop giving JJ Abrams all these sci/fi franchises he can't science fiction at ALL. UGH. Like sci/fi is exciting cos science is exciting dammit, and looking toward what's really possible. I saw that the Daily Show has a new segment called Neil Degrasse Tyson: BUZZKILL OF SCIENCE lol that man is my hero.

SO YEAH. Character design I do lots of research on... everything. And if I have a new character who does something I don't know anything about (like, my character Shae is a pilot so I spent some time studying seaplanes and helicopters while I developed her), then it's pretty exciting to learn a new thing! I've actually redesigned my character Edie (she's a giant robot mechanic lol) a bit recently because I've been working with industrial mechanics at my dayjob and have learned a lot about work clothing/industrial safety gear that I didn't find out thru reading. It's like that writer's thing where you just call all your life experiences "research" lol so that's pretty cool.

MAN I've just about had it with tumblr, this is the third time it's eaten my responses to asks and taken the original asks with it. It's happened on my phone and on my galaxy tab-I rarely use tumblr on my computer because my computer is for getting shit done! Plus I travel a lot so I guess tumblr app is still only good for checking my stupid dash. The last two I did copy and save the text so I'll at least be able to post SOMETHING when I get to my computer again. Tumblr suuuuuxxxxx

I love Steam Powered Giraffe SO MUCH omg. I heard of em a little over a year ago, and it totally freaked me out since I have a story about musical steampunk robots and here is a band doing that as a THING. WHAT. I avoided them forever cos I was worried I wouldn't like their music... I've had my heart broken too many times by theme bands that look interesting but have crappy music and if that were the case with these guys I would have taken that PERSONALLY. Because STEAMPUNK ROBOTS. Thank goodness it ain't the case here. Mind you most of their older stuff is too damn folksy for my tastes but it grew on me and I love it too now. I just prefer music I can groove or rock out to. MKIII tho? AAAGH. They promised something for everyone and totally delivered, I don't mind listening to it all the way through at all. They're pretty shamelessly nostalgic and I love it, Rollerskate King totally triggered that with me. When I was little my favorite radio station would play disco on saturday nights and my mom and I would dance around the house (she'd teach me all the moves she knew from her disco partying days) driving dad crazy cos he hates disco. :D If I HAD to nitpick it would be with the use of synth horns because I used to play saxophone and trumpet, and synth horns hurt my feelings. Not a fan of synth strings either tho those can sometimes sound good... enough. Next time I hope they find a friend who can play or bribe a music student with pizza to record the real thing or SOMETHING cos weh! Otherwise perfect album is seriously perfect. All of my favorite songs turned out to be Hatchworth's, ohmygod I can't even listen to Go Spine Go without losing my shit it's so ridiculous XD I'll love Sam forever for getting David to sing in a torchy jazz style even if it was just a little bit cos rooowwwwrrrrr. Hatchworth's pretty much the reason I'm such a stan now when I wasn't a year ago. I live a Sam Luke appreciation life :p Bleak Horizon just makes me ache for a Steam Powered Giraffe: The Musical *flail* UGH I want to see them live uuuugh ugh feels etc

HOW DO YOU ART SO GOOD?! Also why you no been on for like a year?

I was on the fence about answering this XD; BUT I got a bunch of new followers recently (HI THERE) so I figure I will give it a shot. tl;dr guys.

That’s.. kinda related to the second question. It’s hard for me to articulate why I am such a freaking hermit. It’s not shyness… a lot of it is sensitivity because my relationship with art is SO personal. People can dislike me IRL all day long and it’s not even an issue cos FFF they dont KNOW me. But if they don’t like my art its like OMG I’m giving you a peek into my BRAIN, that IS me, it just got personal, time to throw down. When I say I peaked early, I was a fairly active artist on the internets when I was a teenager and got a LOT of attention I wasn’t able to handle well. The pervasive attitude that artists are sort of visual candy dispensers with a duty to share everything they do makes me reeeeaaally uncomfortable. I don’t draw for attention. I draw because I have stuff in my head that has to come out, and because creating makes me whole (I say creating instead of drawing here because I also love to make stuff, dance, sing, play music, I wanna do EVERYTHING).

I feel weird saying “I don’t draw for attention” because there’s a sort of implied diss that I don’t want to be there. Attention is actually really valuable! Motivational encouragement, constructive criticism, etc, all great stuff. I have made a lot of amazing friends through sharing art, and I totally love talking about it all the damn time, it’s often the medium that gets in the way with me. I like realtime chats best. I’m gonna sound like a cranky old lady now but it took me way too long to figure out tumblr and I miss IRC >:( And in my crankly old lady old age I just don’t have anything to prove to anyone and fucks are no longer given. I draw what I want, when I want, and share when I feel like it. SORRY NOT SORRY.

I’ll be honest, it’s only because once in a while someone tells me that they are really inspired by my art that I make the effort to share. But I forget often, and the fact that I can go thru really long periods without drawing much at all… well. Gushy fangirling is about the only thing that will bust down that wall these days. I used to feel guilty about this but it’s just how I am.

I’m a lot happier answering more specific asks about art tho XD Composition? Design? Style? CLOTHES? Lighting/Materials? Color theory? COLORSILOVECOLOR? Gimme.

can’t sleep can’t stop drawing clothes

dyyyyying to make this uuuuuuuugh i need a new sewing machine

I've been using Sai for years and only just now tried the vector linework tools I AM SO MAD I didn't bother sooner they are perfect and wonderful. I can be as anal as I want and scootch the lines around, adjust the lineweight at every control point, and NO handcramps omg. INKING.

Linework tutorial here.

Drawing real people is haaaaaaaard. weh

Going overboard with layer fx in photoshop again. BEVELS

Fluorishes from the vector lab

This is fanart for my favorite band or something

http://widgets.ign.com/video/embed/content.html?url=http://www.ign.com/videos/2013/04/23/ratchet-and-clank-movie-teaser

YES.

heysawbones: Do any of you have a Kindle, or a Nook, or some other reader? If so, how do you feel about it? How do these devices hold up in terms of audiobook selection? Is there a proprietary rating system for books/podcasts? My kindle is my best friend, it even saved my life not even kidding. I have the wifi only one but its not difficult to find a wifi starbucks or mcdonalds, and sometimes I even tether it to my phone if I need to get a book RIGHT NOW. It seems worth it to shell out the extra money for the 3G though- IF you travel lots. And ereaders are practically made for travelling. I read and spend SO much money on books these days, but the built-in kindle store has a lot of self published authors and I’m happy to support them, and they have a store sale section with books $4 or less, and of course public domain books are free (some times it worth spending $1 or $2 to get better formatting). I know the main selling point for nook is the drm-free EPUB format support, but I have free software that can convert that to kindle MOBI format so I havent missed out imo (Ill also use that to add things written by myself or friends, etc). Otherwise? both let you get library books if your library supports it, and sometimes lend books to friends with same brand of reader tho I have found it rare that publishers allow it. GET ONE you wont regret it!

tumblr

I've been struggling with what feels like, to me, a severe chronic art block for most of my adult life. I can and will go MONTHS without drawing, sometimes farting out occasional barebones idea doodles, but sometimes drawing absolutely nada. When I was younger up until my late teens I had this burning drive to create ALL DAY ERRYDAY with ridiculously large body of work strewn behind me (so much that I have lost more than I've ever had and its still a ton), peaking very early in terms of skill level through the sheer brute force of practice and study... but burning motivations led to burnout. I don't actually blame being TOO driven to create (no such thing dammit!) leading to the burnout, BUT I think some forms of motivation are more sustainable than others. I was driven by ambition, belligerence, more than a little fear. Not so healthy.

I've learned that it's not simple laziness because the "draw anyway" strategy of overcoming art block has NEVER worked for me. The more I push through a block with sheer willpower the more miserable I become, and the only reason I create at all is because it's a source of joy! I have arranged my life in ways to protect this, and is a major reason I have steered away from turning art into a career. There are a lot of IRL factors that I don't really want to elaborate on here (depression is a major one, however), but art doesn't happen in a vacuum, and an artist's life has to have SOME stability in order to have the surplus time and energy to actually draw/paint/compose/write/craft. My own psychic resources have simply been too scarce, I haven't been able to afford to spend those resources on creative projects. Its a Hierarchy of Needs thing. Once Food/Shelter/Safety has been taken care of, I'm spent. There is no surplus.

Annoyingly, fangirling sometimes injects some extra energy and if I then also have the time I just start scrawling fan art uncontrollably (if the fangirling is intense enough you can bet I will MAKE the time! There is NO stopping The Feels). But it's a sugar high and as soon as it's over the art stops too, independently of my desire to actually FINISH anything either (this is the worst part for me, guilt and frustration are the sugar coma, tho the pattern did help me identify the various sources of creative energy).

I dunno how to sum this up. To make art you gotta have an idea. Then the energy to translate the idea out of your soul, and the time/materials to make the actual piece. The spark, the fuel, and the engine. My flavor of art block is akin to running on fumes. Most discussions of art block seem to revolve around the missing spark/faulty ignition. I don't know if this comes off as self-pitying I SURE HOPE NOT but! I do believe I know what steps I need to take in my life to do something about this, so. I'm working on it. Talking about this stuff makes me very uncomfortable but I think it's important. Plus this is an art blog and well, I guess I feel a need to explain myself when I don't post any art??

In the meantime I work hard to not be too mad at myself for lack of productivity (especially when I used to be disgustingly prolific) cos that's an energy-spending exercise not a refueling one.

Artists!! How do you deal with art block, or periods of depression? (Do you deal at all?) Researching my dissertation, scary stuff.

Doodle from tiny sketchbook I keep with me at work. Still figuring out designs for supporting AEM characters... In the past I'd get a little agitated after short doodling sessions because I always immediately wanted to figure out colors but HAVEN'T THE MEANS. Problem solved! Sketchbook Mobile app is great for anytime anywhere color studyin'

do you by any chance draw inspiration from (amongst other things) jak and daxter and nickelodeon's avatar? i was just having a look at your deviantart and i really got a strong vibe that your work has been influenced by both these things...

Totally love them both so much omg. I rewatched all of Avatar on Netflix recently and all the nitpicks I had back when it was airing didn't even matter because as a complete story/world package its just SO quality and I'm still grateful for its existence and for helping to bring attention to fantasy based on non-european cultures. Love Legend of Korra too though I have been a bit frustrated with it. Industrialization of magic-based societies is MY MOST FAVORITE OF THINGS and my own fantasy story has been trying to address the political ramnifications of technology making magic use obsolete, since nonmagic users are traditionally an underclass blablabla man that finale tho. I dont even know.I have some old Jak & Daxter fanart on DA XD and I got the remastered collection for PS3, replaying it all, and I'm just in love again with everything uuuugh. The aesthetic is still just so unique and pushes all my happy buttons, its got everything I ever want in my games, and, well, makes me a little sad too because they just dont make em like this anymore. (Ratchet and Clank franchise is over now too, sob) Dont get me wrong I love Uncharted but Ill take Jak & his annoying talking animal sidekick over Nathan Drake, mass-murdering treasure hunter any day.

I posted on your deviantart.. I found a company on ETSY using your TEAM TARDIS image to make iPhone covers off of.

Man I know someone was using that pic for iphone cases on redbubble and selling them for FORTY bucks too. Possibly the same asshole. I dont even have time to deal with thieves cos when Im working my shifts are 13+hrs/day, many of the online sales services have convoluted and hassly reporting procedures, and its just a big game of whack-a-mole. I dunno, I'm always resisting putting gigantic hideous watermarks on my work but this is what'll keep happening if I don't. I don't make a living off my art so it hurts me less than it could, but people like this steal from anyone so that doesn't even matter. The irony here is the double-infringement of stealing fan art of all things! I've gotten requests to sell prints of that piece but I won't. And scumbags come in to fill the gap. I'm ranting I guess. I go long periods of time without sharing my work but stuff like this evaporates any regret I might feel. I honestly dont have the energy or time to deal with this stuff so I'm not sure what the solution is :(

Today I joined the ranks of that illustrious class of people who've performed a smartphone baptism by toilet.

Breakin in a new sketchbook.

So.

I'm the flakiest artist to ever flake uuuugh. Sitting on a bunch of half-inked or half-colored works-OHNOsomethingelseIwannadrawimmediatelyONTOTHEPILEWITHYOU- will I finish?? Ever?? WE JUST DON'T KNOW.

Don’t have time to draw currently :C so here’s something old I GUESS. Errikan’s life story gets peppered in through lots of flashbacks… I wrote it all out I may share if there’s interest (I… I’m shy though). I felt like I should have drawn him at further ages but I don’t actually know what he’d look like?? A happily ever after Errikan would look rather different from an Continuing Adventures-then-later-dies-in-a-barfight-related-freak-accident Errikan. … … I do know he keeps trying SO HARD to grow a beard and succeeds… eventually. Very eventually. Elvish men have it so hard.

barbwire butt (Taken with Instagram)

I like em fuzzy.

FYI he is slimyyyy

My fiercely burning Tony Stark fetish has been flaring up and the only cure is FAN ARRRT

Camera phone and photoshop express for android are poor substitutes for a scanner and actual photoshop, but those don't fit in my pocket, ok. I've been using my phone so much for stuff I'm considering getting a nicer one.. I kinda want a galaxy note for the giant screen and stylus, but I need my qwerty slider, kinda want a mytouch slide for the 12megapixel camera and HDR... etc. Godammit gadgets still not scifi enough, gimme all these things in one smartphone already I basically want a pocket-sized tablet laptop is that too much to ask??

:p

Extremis Tony is my favorite (ugh don't get me started on that magical bleeding edge armor, I suppose he stores his extra mass in a pocket dimension??) but a while back I did some research on bionanotechnology for a paper and I always have my own sci/fi bullshit ideas for how stuff works. Instead of having an undersuit stored in his bones (arrgh bones aren't hollow, learn to anatomy!) he'd sweat out a protocellular metallic gel that functioned as a medium for nanobots and synthetic flora to leave his body and interface with the armor like a circulatory system. He'd sprout fiber optic "hair" that would wire into his nervous system. Wetware! It would be super gross :D

I steal ideas from myself (in this case the Antonia Stark that I did forever ago)... cos it IS challenging and fun to design robot armor, but you can't really improve on perfection :p There's only so much you can do before it loses its iron man...ness.

BUT I needed to give him rocket launcher arms I DRAW WHAT I WANT

Taken with Instagram

Taken with Instagram