Latest Posts by quantumqstar - Page 2

No pressure but if you like my huge posters your chance to own one is HEEEEERE. Plus you get an awesome comic book too I guess. :P And a bunch of other prints. And digital swag. And postcards. And just go check out the campaign already lol

The second stretch goal for the kickstarter has just been unlocked! That means everyone who’s pledged in tiers $50 and above will be getting an additional print in their package - a special limited edition 8 x 10 print illustrated by @wscottforbes!

The next stretch goal is very special! Once the kickstarter hits 30K, everyone who has pledged in tiers $50 and above will get a chance to upgrade their package to include an EXTRA LARGE Poster illustrated by @quantumqstar!

I’ve been getting previews of it, y’all and trust me - you’ll want in on it! Take some time to check out the kickstarter here!

GET IN ON THIS, IM MAKING A POSTERRRRR

✦❤✦ THE KICKSTARTER FOR AGENTS OF THE REALM HIT ITS FUNDING GOAL ✦❤✦

Gosh gosh gosh!! Thank you all SO MUCH for your support so far!! Last night the Kickstarter managed to hit it’s initial funding goal of 17K! The kickstarter campaign, however, is still running and will remain running until March 2nd so I’ve got LOTS of stuff planned for the extra funds to go towards!

Are you looking for an easy way to show your Magical Girl pride? If the Kickstarter hits 20K, I’ll be getting 1.5″ Enamel metal pins made so you can let the world know exactly how magical you are!

If the Kickstarter passes that…

Everyone who pledges in the tiers $50 and above will get a chance to upgrade in order to get their hands on limited edition prints made by these wonderful artists! I was lucky enough to get @wscottforbes, @quantumqstar and @mattahan to agree to create absolutely gorgeous artwork in honor of Agents of the Realm. I’ve been getting peaks at the works done so far and let me tell you, you’ll definitely want to get your hands on them!

From there, the funds will be going towards making the book even more shiny and magical than it already is!

Hitting 40K means everyone who pledged in $30 or above gets their softcovers upgraded to be foil embossed!! Talk about a perfectly fitting upgrade.

And the last stretch goal is a Foil Hardcover Upgrade available for everyone who pledged in tiers $50 and above! 

The campaign still has 22 days left! Let’s keep this ball rolling!

Costume DUMP because I had to move and put most of my stuff in storage so I don’t know when I’ll be able to resume work on this :C Also cos I was CUTE

The fiber optic HAIR is 110% of the reason I wanted to cosplay her in the first place. DREAM WIG, still can’t fully believe I’m making it happen… tho uh. You know how no amount of planning can replace what you learn by doing and gaaawsh there are. Many. Things. I would like to do differently. And I’m nowhere near done but also too far along (and too over budget) to start over, eeeeegh.

It’s a 168 neopixel led matrix controlled by an arduino pro mini. Also have a few attinys to control a servo (wiggly robot antenna 8D), and some sound-reactive led circuits, and just, so many other things I have been banging my head against desk all year tryna make this stuff work, tbh the biggest challenge has been figuring out how to power it properly, and uh, safely…?? I learned a LOT about how batteries work this year let me tell you

Final outfit will be visible from SPACE

Got a cutie to watch over my new sewing area 83c

If you want to paint yourself and your friends weird colors for Halloween season (OR if you’re a nerd who cosplays at every opportunity, or even when there aren’t opportunities because you’re obsessed with makeup like meeeee) I would like to reccomend airbrushing :D

Top photo is my airbrush kit which fits in a toiletry bag from ikea. It includes a mini compressor which you can get for about $40 on amazon.

I use a $20 Badger airbrush from Michaels. I honestly use it more often than my nicer double-action professional airbrush because ngl I get tired of cleaning that thing out. Paint doesn’t actually go through the Badger air gun at all so its easy to clean.

BEST of all, if you also make props or paint fabric for costumes, you can stop spending money on spray paint! Seriously, airbrushes are where it’s at.

THE KEY ITEM is the Badger to Master brand adapter! The most annoying thing about airbrushes is there’s no standard sizing and shapes for ANY brush item or accessory between brands. I got mine in a set from Amazon for about $9. This way you have the choice to use any compressor instead of the expensive air cans.

Anyone who’s tried to do white makeup knows how ANNOYING it is no matter what! Creme makeup has good coverage but it’s gross and gets everywhere no matter how much powder you use to set it! Airbrushing lets you get 100% coverage with water-based liquid body paint. I got the best results with two layers of white and two of Ben Nye final seal (a layer of sealer FIRST helps the color stick and adds a small amount of protective barrier from sweat/oil). The key is to get full coverage with the thinnest possible layers, it flakes off more easily the thicker the paint is applied. Diluting liquid makeup with sealer instead of water or mixing liquid helps too, I don’t have a brand preference and have Ben Nye and Mehron colors, and some more expensive alcohol-based brands for experiments.

Examples! My QT frans (and me, whatever lol) :3 I painted em and they did the rest of makeup and powder. Powder pigments for colors and shading seem to work best before paint is entirely dry, if it gets too dry for blush/shading/etc, I’ve had good results with a light spritz of sealer to make it tacky again. Riles glows in the dark because Mehron has glow body paint so I had to try it, NATURALLY! Also used pure glow pigment as ~gremlin blush~, TKB has it I want to buy it by the pound, lol LOOK AT THAT SPOOKY GLOW THO

OK hope that was informative enough, I’m trying not to make this twenty pages long ok? K.

Rabbit with *~sparkly~* pink pincurls because I said so. I started doing more with this because I have too many fancy design elements not to, but not the time to complete it right now…which is annoying cos that’s my favorite part :C Yes, clipart and filters are my favorite part, leave me alone

SPG’s new album is SO great, YOU NEED IT, I love albums that tell a whole story, I love rock operas, I love SPACE, SO MUCH!! My favorite songs are SteamJunk, Sky Sharks (with my bb Professor Elemental, squeeee), Oh No, and Necrostar *3* BRING IT INTO YOUR LIFE~

A wig made out of basically four wigs, guys. SO much painful sewing because I kept poking myself with straight needles (I used curved needles too but they feel so clumsy, I dunno!). It’s three wigs from eBay which ended up being cheaper to take them apart vs buying wefts, and two sets of wefts from Arda because they have some super pretty shades of powder blue.

Tried to get a gradient with minimal dyeing, so I blended five shades of blue… I dyed the tips though. Jaquard iDye Poly for synthetics works pretty well (Arda has great wig dyeing tutorials), best out of every other technique I’ve tried! Which is most of them xD If you look hard enough you can find wig hair in pretty much ANY color and I reccomend that route if you plan on having a wig you can wash and restyle and don’t have to worry at all about any color rubbing off on costumes, etc.

I want it BIGGER, I need more styling practice, I was tempted to add more hair but tbh it’s too much weight tradeoff. I have some ideas to add fluff without additional hair so we’ll see! One thing about big cartoon hair is how often it’s drawn with MORE volume near the ends which is pretty, but nonsense since any layered hairdo will obviously be thinner at the ends, plus teasing it makes it big at the scalp! It has plenty of volume at the scalp cos my head is huge :p I put some tubular crinoline in it last time I wore it which helped me make a big fat braid, so there’s more possibilities to explore there, man I am writing too much about this

ITS ALSO GOT TINSEL IN IT but the process is SO tedious I haven’t got much progress on that yet meeeeeeh! BTW it’s gonna be entirely fiber optic 8)

LED STOCKINGS made with materials from Adafruit and firewalkers circuit and code :D I intended to record better video, make gifs, whatever, but that takes away time from making more blinky stuff! So that's been unacceptable ;p I HAVE been documenting all my cosplay and crafty blinkybeepy things so that I have the OPTION to make writeups buuuut I have a functionally infinite project list while I slowly work on the skills to make the light and sound and animatronic costumes of my dreams 83

Hey there! I've chosen the recent SPG Poster art you created for Fan Art Friday this weekend - it's spectacular! I generally reblog these from the person directly, but your post includes the word "hell," and we generally avoid any sort of cursing in what we post. As of now, I've set it up to reblog with the paragraphs you added removed, so it'll just showcase the art. I hope that's okay! If you'd rather I not reblog it at all, please let me know! It'll post Friday at 12pm PST.

lol I don't mind if you remove my several paragraphs of blathering, I can't help but inflict that stuff on my own blog/followersHow are y'all enjoying the poster? I still haven't actually printed a copy for myself cos I can't stop spending money on cosplay. It is an addiction

This time I WILL apologize for not posting cos I am SUPER proud of this and worked SUPER hard on it, its just that as soon as I finish a thing (which is rare in itself, UGH), I immediately move on to the 5,462,000 other Things. It sounds so terrible to complain about having too many ideas but I can’t keep up and I at least try to get them all into my sketchbook but then have a hell of a time picking a thing to work on, tho if I HAD to make an excuse its because I’m teaching myself lots of new things these days and a lot of it is experimental and failures LOL

Learn by doing ;p

Anywaaaay, I am obsessed with gigantic posters and that combined with fangirling was all the motivation I needed, apparently. (obviously I won’t be selling prints of this, sorry, its fanart) I have a hard time explaining all the stuff I do to add Rainbow to my art so uh, its a lot of strategic outline coloring and layer fx and filters?? Photoshop frickin *~magic~*

I kinda miss livestreaming cos I love to chat about ART but I don’t have the patience to draw at my desktop when I can doodle on my tablet PC at a coffeeshop… And I have been spending a lot more time with my soldering iron rather than my tablet pen, sooo.

hey sorry I know this is late since u made that post last year but I rEALLY need to know. How did u make your face all skull-like? did you make the skull mask yourself?

Sorry Im so bad about replying to messages! I got the mask from http://www.mostlydead.com/products/skull-makeup-effects-appliance-maskIt was actually kinda small for my face but its really meant to be worn with a hood. I definitely want to sculpt my own someday but this one is great! Theres lots of skull prosthetics out there but that ones my favorite, most of them try to make it look angry/"evil" and I have Opinions about that. ;p

I needed my own super sentai-inspired hero, so here's Heliolux :D I started a big overly detailed design sheet becase someday IMMA WEAR THIS.

tomorrowland was all of the things i love!!!!! retrofuturism! saving the world thru SCIENCE! athena's wendy dress (seriously LOOK AT THIS DRESS)! Antique interdimensional rocketships! Hugh Laurie dressed like a crotchety mayor of the emerald city of Oz! murderous yet quirky robot people! directed by brad bird!!! this review sums up how I feel pretty well. I really needed this movie xD

Dug around in my archive drives for Discworld fanarts. I have a lot of Feelings I can’t articulate very well soooooo I’m not going to, just enjoy the draws xD FYI Zombie Reg is still one of my favorite faces I’ve drawn of all time, ever!

MAN I just remembered how I sketched the Vimes family portrait after I read Thud! I should find that and finish it...

Rushed Malfunction cosplay for WWWC4! Not pictured: the ten strands of fairy lights I wove into the wig which broke as soon as I put it on LOL Pictured: post-con carnage xD Wig is maybe 20 percent finished; you'll know when it's done because Ill be shouting from the rooftops, dancing in the streets, etc

Its Friday the Thirteenth and also my birthday and also I'm thirty. Whaaaat

I did some fun holiday-appropriate stuff last week (dark harbor @ the queen mary) but didn't do anything on actual halloween because I was

dead tired

I started using the internets to teach myself hobby electronics a little less than two years ago and struggling with whatever random 101 sites, blogs, tutorials, and instructables I could find. Slowly piecing together info that is never presented in an incremental-increase-of-difficulty way because its not class... It's always a continuous struggle to find information that is at your level when it is pretty much always going to be something you've already sort of learned, and therefore less useful, or something way too advanced and HOW do you fill in the gap, its always there at every level as you learn more things

I think it's useful to point out that I'm not really a self-taught artist. So while there is a TON of stuff I taught myself (particularly digital art/photoshop/coloring), I had the benefit of classes in the fundamentals (lifedrawing, construction drawing, figure drawing, etc) and that makes it SO much easier to expand from a solid knowledge base. So I'm sayin it is not the case here, while I learn to make gadgets and it is taking FOR EVER and driving me up all of the walls. But I want it so badly.

Then Adafruit put up their revised learning system site and I s2g every time I have a neat idea for a project but not sure how I'd make it, they put up a relevant tutorial basically the next freakin day. This has been happening without fail for SEVERAL MONTHS! I LOVE ADAFRUIT AND ADAFRUIT LOVES ME BACK

I always have a cosplay/props/gadgets wishlist that is miles long and an ever-expanding list of ways to make things blinky, beepy, and/or animatronic and going NUTS because I don't yet have the skills to accomplish what I want to do (which is everything), learning a skill is HARD, harder still if there are parts of it that are not interesting but sort of a necessary evil- which for me is programming, I hate it so much, its so painful, ughhg uugghhh it hurts, I have not studied this hard to learn something I dislike so much EVER but there is a blog I like called HOW TO GET WHAT YOU WANT and that has stuck with me all this time. It's how to get what I want and I'm not gonna let my hatred of programming actually stop me from typing up terrible buggy code and uploading it to a microcontroller to make leds blink and animate and change colors because I love lights and I love COLORS. Join me!

LETS PUT LEDS IN THINGS

Am I gonna apologize for not posting? Ever? NAaaah. xD I rarely have time to draw while I'm away for work and when I'm home I'd rather MAKE STUFF. Even then I have to make annoyingly hard choices about what to work on cos I just can't do everything I want, weh

Buuut here's some semi-recent Jak & Daxter fanart I'm probably not going to finish cos I don't have tiiiiiime :C Fuzzy little douche was very fun to draw tho

I have been thinking about this SO MUCH wrt my own high sensitivity. This sort of three-factor approach to emotional personality stuff is really useful for sorting thru your own life and thoughts for personal growth and self awareness, etc. My personal low baseline, high sensitivity and slow recovery time are all "problems" that have to be addressed seperately. Once I acknowledged that my own baseline is pretty skewed toward the negative thru NO fault of my own it helped me resist attempts to shame me for not being a naturally "happy" person. Some people are rays of sunshine and some people are misty fogs and that is OK. Its been much harder for me to accept the sensitivity because I grew up under the delusion that this was something I could change about myself. I feel this is related to the attitude that sensitive people shouldn't be "coddled" and bullying/abuse can be justified if it toughens them up. So it really did take an entire lifetime of effort and FAILURE to realize that was patently untrue. No amount of willpower will make this skin thicker, and thats OK too. The time it takes to return to baseline/regain equilibrium/find balance is the most important thing to address in my experience. If you don't have a whole lot of control over your basic brain chemistry (medications can only do so much after all) or your sensitivity (degree of sensitivity to stimulus is *biological*), what CAN you control? Your thoughts, decisions, and your actions. These affect the intensity and duration of emotional reactions. This is what true cognitive behavioral therapy is all about. Acknowledge what makes you feel things and why. Understand WHAT you're feeling. KNOW that emotions serve a PURPOSE. I see lots of posts circulating with long lists of actions you can take to deal with negative feelings in a healthy way and that makes me happy that people are sharing this, because I had to learn most of those things on my own and the more time saved from having to figure out what to do is more time you can use to figure out what actually works for YOU. Coping skills, emotional management skills are all just that, skills you can learn. It boils down to the usual idea of change what you can control and accept what you can't change... the hard part is figuring out which is which. tl;dr, feelings.

I'm about to draw 27,842 robot outfits and YOU CAN'T STOP ME

It's truuuue

a super good friend of Ru and i created this amazing poster. she even got it signed by SPG - and look how BIG IT IS

and by created, i mean she art’d this. seriously. for real.

It’s Arduino Daaaaaay! If you don’t know why that’s awesome watch this Ted Talk. Or watch it anyway because open source hardware is the greatest thing. Sparkfun is celebrating! with! a! sale! so if you have been interested in building your own future gadgets from scratch because we live in the future NOW IS THE TIME

mooby reebyews

I'm not sure why I want to talk about this so much but I DO so I'm gonna.

Saw Robocop the other night, immediately understood why it flopped but holy crap I really enjoyed it ok?? I know most people are basically disgusted by remakes out of some sense of nostalgia, and I don't care at all, usually when you go back and watch an old thing its often Not That Great (and the nostalgia critic has made a whole Thing out of this phenomenon). I didn't hate the Total Recall remake either, because I honestly feel if a story or premise is interesting there's nothing wrong with telling it again in a new way. And I think it's especially fine to do with Sci/Fi because by its very nature the genre has to constantly be updated. And so Robocop was surprisingly political?? With the heavyhanded commentary on drone use and big business manipulating our lawmakers and questions about artificial intelligence and free will and Evil Steve Jobs Michael Keaton and Samuel L. Jackson O'Reilly lol! Dammit I just feel the need to defend it because these are all things that make it good relevant sci/fi and are definitely the same things making the movie a flop. And of course I love robots and cyborgs and Gary Oldman so its no surprise I fucking loved this movie ok. ROBOCOP.

Also saw the Lego Movie and it was seriously the best thing in the entire world. I geeked out hardest over all the explosions/fire/water/smoke being made of legos and the big fingerprint on Emmet's torso. And the plot was really impressively solid (President Business was the BEST) and so so so good seriously go see this movie.

I love movies!!

1. numbered list description again. 2. SO PROUD of that pipe wrench! I couldn't decide between vintage or modern styles of wrench so I just designed one that's both (it's called a hybrid) 3. finally confident in my ability to blend graphic design and illustration 4. real people are still too hard to draw hnnng. 5. tumblr is going to butcher this huge image but I couldn't bring myself to post anything smaller, this image is HUUUUUGE 6. did I mention its huge 7. hello favorite band! if you're reading this please know that I have a crush on each and every one of you. it's super annoying! hope y'all enjoy.

I know this was posted a million tumblr years ago but it's... STILL bothering me so rant forthcoming! This... was just so heartbreaking... like I seriously took the Pini's behavior personally because Elfquest was a HUGE inspiration to me as a kid and Leetah has always had a special place in my heart as a character (because representation IS important don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise) and I've considered cosplaying her many times. I still have trouble understanding why so many white cosplayers are so OBTUSE about brownface seriously. Just don't do the thing. Its like every damn halloween when all the articles go around asking "is your costume racist?" Probably. Wear. Something. Else!

Posting from mobile and won't let me make a cut so tl;dr I guess.

Its offensive to treat brown skin like a costume because poc and especially darker skinned poc everywhere have to deal with BS specific to their skin color that white people don't ever have to, its dehumanising and disrespectful to dress up to look like people who get discriminated against for FUN. I guarantee you many poc have had experiences where they wish they could just wash their skin color off at the end of the day. PLUS it usually looks TERRIBLE :p I've seen some white cosplayers whinge about it cos nobody gets mad about dressing up as blue or green or purple-skinned people COS THATS TOTALLY THE SAME THING? What would you do if a suddenly real purple person came up to you and told you your purpleface was offensive- make up another fucking fictional skin color for your justification??

Cosplayers already rank so low on the "geek hierarchy" for having the NERVE to be SO openly geeky. Black cosplayers get called the "ghetto" version of whatever character they're dressed as, women who dare to show any skin dressing as characters usually designed by MEN get creeped on (and omg don't get me started on the creepy creepy treatment of mlp cosplayers by bronies)... People post photos without permission to point and laugh, women, poc, fat cosplayers, cosplayers who aren't super goodlooking, or technically skilled at making stuff ALL get majorly harassed and god forbid if you're several of those things HOW DARE YOU HAVE FUN IN PUBLIC. USUALLY even at a place where THE ENTIRE PURPOSE is nerds getting together to have fun in public.

It's gross behavior that stifles creativity and that will always be really infuriating to me. Personally it hasnt been something I've experienced much because my cosplay wishlists have always been entirely giant robots and power armor. :P Currently daydreaming about Striker Eureka, Samus, SEVERAL transformers, Bunny/Barnaby Brooks Jr, and the yellow Power Ranger I share a name with (another special place in my heart for her! She came on tv at a super important impressionable time in my nerdy childhood for sure). But cosplayers deserve to oh I dunno, NOT get harassed, whoever they are.

This is an art/creativity blog. So before anyone gets mad that I made some sort of "sjw" post instead of art just know that you can't divorce that stuff from reality. POC are artists and nerds too, OBVIOUSLY. I know people in general have trouble treating each other with respect but just... try? Its worth doing. This specific way of treating people decently is NOT that hard. Dooooon't brownface. THE END. Kinda dreading any attention this might get me but it's just been on my mind so much cos I'm going to get back into cosplay this year and I just wish it was possible to be a huge nerd and have a good time without also risking having to deal with tons of BS over it? Maybe?

....That would be great ffff

Planning to Honeybee at Wild Wild West Con, btw :D STEAMPUNK ROBOT BEE FAIRY BALLERINAAAA

ElfQuest, the Pini's, and Racism.

This is something I’ve been putting off writing for at least a month, because it’s been so hard on me. When I say hard, I mean just kind of spirit-breaking to even revisit in my memory. If you care about what I am saying, if you really care about racism in the artistic industries and such, SHARE THIS. Read this, and if you REALLY feel it, SHARE IT. Please.

Anyone who knows me, knows that I adore - sorry - adored ElfQuest. Wendy and Richard Pini were my role models for a long long time. I started reading the series when I was very very young. Sure, there’s questionable content, but to me it was a fantastically constructed world. There was also something about it that stood out to me in bright vivid colours.

There were elves of colour in it. Deep, rich, beautiful brown elves with their own distinct (although vaguely familiar) culture. Elves in a fantasy setting that felt no need to be justified. Elves that I, as a minority individual, could cling to and feel as though I belonged to their world.

Now, if you have already made your mind up on whether or not you want to accept what I’m going to write, don’t click on. If you become offended, if you decide to come after me for writing this, be very very aware that you were warned that the content of this may upset you. You had the choice to move on, and to be ignorant of the following information.

Read More

PW6 in three flavors- yacht party, indiana jones, and SCIENCE.

I'll stop drawing so many clothes eventu-LOLOLsorry couldn't even finish that sentence

reblogging on the off-chance any artists who follow me haven't read this WONDERFUL post full of excellent advice. Its ALL here :D

Character design and drawing are tome-sized topics and even if I had all the answers (I don’t - I have a lot to learn), I’m not sure I could communicate them effectively. I’ve gathered some thoughts and ideas here, though, in case they’re helpful.

First, some general things: - Relax...

It's interesting to learn that you are hypersensitive. I, for one, have been enjoying your art for a very long time. What I don't understand is that there are people out there that would die for your talent, yet you are nervous about sharing your art. To me, artists who are that good shouldn't be shy about their work... So stop being shy about it! :)

... I had to sit with this for a while.

This... I get that it comes from a place of good intentions, and that's nice, the sentiment is nice. But I'm not here for it, because like you said, you don't understand. I'm well aware that my opinions are strange but they're opinions about MYSELF and you're essentially telling me how to feel about myself and that's really unfair. And unrealistic? Emotions don't work that way. (You have a feeling? ITS WRONG. FEEL DIFFERENTLY) I will defend anyone's right to their feelings and it took my entire life to learn how to defend my own. I feel these misunderstandings boil down to a few things.

1. A view that my difficulties in sharing stem from an insecurity, or that I take my skills for granted in some way.

Not the case. I was hesitating as usual to say anything because I didn't want to make any artists who have yet to reach a similar skill level feel bad, but I don't want anyone laying that at my feet ok? (die for my talent?? How do I NOT construe that as a guilt trip D:) NO artist gets where they're at by taking their talent for granted. But lets not pretend I got where I am skillwise without pouring a ton of my blood/sweat/tears/years/life/soul/time/energy/everything into developing said skills. Art is a SKILL. I don't really want to have the skill vs. talent argument but if you're wondering what side of the fence I am on, its that side.

2. YOU DON'T KNOW MY LIFE

Aaaaaaaahhaaaa. Augh. Really tho. Like I said I wasn't always this way but I've had a lot of experiences (unrelated to art) that have made me a very closed off, private person. I've been called selfish, but I don't see how making things for myself in order to cope and then... keeping those things... is selfishness and not self-care. Do you ask a starving person to share what little food they have with someone who is just sort of hungry and will be fine without it? I hate using that comparison but if you follow artists on tumblr I'm sure you get plenty of nice stuff to look at on your dash, you'll be fine without my stuff on there all the time. I DO try, otherwise I wouldn't have artblog at all.

Serious Question: What if the hypersensitivity is the REASON for said ability? Two sides of the same coin. I've read some things that link sensitivity and creativity and if that is the case for me then would it still make sense to push me to be somehow different? I DO know artists who are VERY talented/skilled and don't have these struggles, and I also know artists who have struggled with serious huge ego problems too. I'm not trying to say it's gotta be one or the other, but maybe at extremes, its gosh I dunno, harder to be balanced about these things. I do occasionally dabble in arrogant snobbery but I can keep it to myself.

I feel some type of way about this. :/

indigogrim replied to your post: Stuff like this is pretty livejournal ...

The more you practice performing and sharing your art with people the easier it gets.

Thiiiiissss is what I'm talkinbout tho? One would assume 10+ years of trying would be enough to tell if such a thing is gonna work out or not D: I'm reeeaally reaching right now trying to decide if it ever got any easier during that decade of effort and fffffnnnnghmaybe? BUT worth it? That I am even less sure about. Cos when I draw something and I finish I'm good. It's like welp, got a thing out of my head, done, satisfied. Might show a friend or two if they're online at the time. Its a little easier with fanart because fangirling and FEEEELS. But meeeehhh? WHY should I continue to push for it, is what I want to ask. I never got much reason other than because people wanna see? And that's not motivational enough?... sorry...? The inspiration to others thing is but again only sometimes because that's not whyyyyy I do this, so when I struggle to share and can't, then I just feel ashamed and as I said, I'm done with that. 

adrhaze replied to your post: 

You can always become a secret artist with a pseudonym and just keep yourself in the shadows while letting your work speak for you. The masked artist! Or maybe an agent? It works for banksy and a lot of writers.

I have totally considered a pseudonym! At least for writing, if I ever actually finished anything fff. For visual art I don't think Banksy is a good example, being mysterious brings EXTRA attention... (besides doesn't he have an entire crew helping him out...?) Musically I sure love Daft Punk's thing but man how much harder would it be to start doing something like that nowadays? Anonymity is kind of impossible. I'm already probably as secret as I could even be :C

Thing is though, I love musical theater best. Like I LIVE for Cirque du Soleil shows (only time something has ever made me cry just because it was so beautiful), and I did a lot of that stuff when I was a kid. But you really have to put yourself out there for it. Collaborating with a bunch of people to create something thats so many kinds of art all at the same time that no single person could pull off is just the greatest feeling. SO its easier when its a group thing too, a cast and crew can be a really supportive kind of artist family. I made costumes and props and magic tricks, I danced at festivals, I played in band etc. Stopped doing all that stuff publicly when I was 15ish for mostly angsty teenager reasons, though one year I did audition for a musical and that was the last damn time I sang outside of the shower or alone in the car and let me tell you I was ASTRONOMICALLY outside of my comfort zone there, woosh. (but I admit I wasn't satisfied doing ONLY crew cos I gotta daaaaance) After that I would say... a lot of things happened that made life a little bit tougher and I had to lean on my art for emotional support. I don't feel like sharing stupid life story stuff but I mean, maybe some people can at least relate to the idea that you might need oh I dunno, a stable life (one where you don't use up all your energy just trying to survive, for whatever reason. I mean this very broadly cos everyone has struggles) before you can do extra stuff like art. And art is usually in the category of extra stuff. When I had enough spoons left in the day to draw I still wouldn't have enough to deal with the kind of ridiculousness artists online tend to have to deal with. I hope I make sense.

Things are better for me now though which is a big reason this nonsense is on my mind actually.