The Urge To Write Never Leaves But The Motivation To Do So Is A Lover Lost At War

I’m back!! And also SBT updated!

Hello! I am back! Sort of. Well, I updated State of Broken Things so I guess that means I’m back?? 

You can find chapter three here 

Tell me what you think!

I missed you guys

90% of writing advice can be thrown out the window for your first draft.

Show don’t tell? Ignore.

Basic grammar and punctuation? Unnecessary. 

Physical descriptions of characters? Don’t need to bother. 

Solid plot? That’s for later. 

The words don’t come as fast when you’re thinking of the best way to put them together. It doesn’t have to be pretty, or much more than inconsistent nonsense.  The point is to have it exist.

Effective storytelling is for subsequent drafts! Go write some nonsense! 

I need help finding a thing to write about!!

So about two years ago, I started writing the first version of a book I was proud enough to say I wanted to publish. It was something that helped me process and come to terms with my sexuality and situations I had found or thought I would find myself in. 

Unfortunately, I went back today after six months of not touching it (I had been in the process of rewriting the second draft) and realized I kind of hate it now. It reminds me of things I’ve grown past, and the characters make me want to rip my hair out. 

Anyways — does anyone have any LGBTQ heavy prompts or ideas they want to see in fiction? I don’t really write original fantasy or sci-fi because I lose interest too fast to finish world-building, but I like romance and slice-of-life type books. 

Lately I’ve been heavily exploring gender with my lovely partner and I want to be able to write about things I know. 

Please send an ask or comment below if you have any ideas. I can’t promise it’ll get written or published, but I really want to write something of my own on the side while I work and write stuff for the GO fandom.

Also hi i promise I’m not dead <3

I'm sitting here sobbing guys. I'm so grateful for all of this.

THANK YOU

This means so much to us that people are actually donating. We’ve been watching the likes and reboots skyrocket since she posted originally and have been blown away. Thank you everyone who’s been reblogging! And to the couple people who have already donated, thank you so much! I know it’s super early still but honestly I’m just glad that my girlfriend is at least getting a little help to leave the horrible situation she’s in.

And thanks @caseydambro!! We’re both huge fans of your art!! And she got a flood of reblogs afterwards so thank you!

Here’s a link to the original post if people are confused

wife

The word sits so delicately on your tongue

Caressing me with the softest of feelings

With you, it is not an insult

With you, it’s something to be worthy of

Something to be cherished and upheld

We have not yet spoke our vows

At least not in front of the world

But i never doubt your dedication

And our future is what brings me to life every morning

I’ll be your wife

And you can be mine

We’ll live in a house surrounded by flowers and love

We’ll grow old together, leave our legacy for those after us

Raise the future generations with your pictures and my words

We’ll paint our walls

And bicker over curtains

But savor the time spent doing it

Maybe I’ll learn to play piano

And you can drink your tea in the morning light

As i fumble with the keys

Maybe you’ll start an online channel

Coloring the house with your laughter

And bringing joy to the world beyond brick and mortar

One thing I know, though

Is that I’ll wear your ring

And you’ll wear mine

I’ll call you my wife

You’ll call me yours

And we’ll face the world together

You and me

Just the way it’s always been

And always will be

For those of you who want to see me screw around and be gay, I got a Tik Tok. Thanks to my lovely girlfriend 😍 my username is renylovestigger. Come watch me not do my homework and not write things and pretend to know what I'm doing...

Hi guys!

I have a job interview tomorrow and I've been job hunting a bunch, so the prompts you guys sent me have been in the works for the past week or so, but I promise I'll get to them soon! I hope all is well with you ❤️

Want to add an Em Dash (—) into your writing? Hold down the Alt key as you type 0151 on the numeric keypad. 

Pass this on to save a writer’s life.

me having a new idea for a relatively short fic:

Newest Edition

I’m back with another part to my omegaverse au!! This time Keith has a baby... there is baby. 

*

Keith absolutely adored his baby.

Of course, he had loved his baby from the moment they had found out he was expecting and that, for once, everything seemed to be in order. No miscarriage. No complications. Nothing at all that was worrying in any way. The doctors were a bit worried about the birth, considering that he’d had some complications in the past, but they had scheduled a C-section in order to have complete control of the situation. Which was more than fine with Keith.

He and Lance had decided to wait to see the sex of their child was at birth. Lance liked surprises, and Keith wanted to venture away from the binary-construct that came with having a baby boy or a baby girl. He’d been adamant, despite the teasing from the more traditional side of Lance’s family.

And because he loved his omega and his not yet born baby, Lance had spent an exhausting weekend painting the nursery a light shade of green and white, constructing furniture and converting the office into their baby’s new room. Keith had overseen, of course,

The more pregnant Keith got, the more fussy and emotional he became. At first, it was endearing. He was more protective of Lance, always sure to scent his alpha furiously before and after he came home from anywhere — work, the store, a friend’s house.

He was also more snuggly than usual, often curling up either in one of Lance’s shirts and a nest of blankets, or simply in his mate’s arms. He liked it when Lance touched his belly and talked to their baby. He liked being close to his source of safety and comfort.

However, there was also the downside of the hormones. Keith got upset very easily. He cried over things constantly, sending Lance into a mess of panic and concern and worry. It was often nothing more than a stubbed toe, being unable to reach something, or maybe something on the TV (he always tried to dissuade him from watching soap operas, but after a nasty fight over it, he had given up).

Not only that, but midnight cravings were serious and made him mean if he didn’t get what he wanted. Lance became a regular in the Taco Bell drive through at odd hours in the night. And Lord forbid anyone comment on his eating habits.

However difficult pregnancy was, Keith was still so happy at what was coming from all of it. He spent hours in the nursery, falling asleep in the rocking chair or reading the picture books they’d been given.

After the baby shower they’d been thrown, Lance had taken to working from home for the last couple of months until the due date. Keith was still insistent on doing things on his own, and Lance regretted buying a house with so many stairs. Although once Keith got to a place he liked, he generally stayed put. Working from home gave the omega time to unpack all of the things from the baby shower, and gave Lance peace of mind.

This doesn’t mean Keith wasn’t still his same stubborn, independent self.

One morning, Keith woke up with a funny stomach ache and a weird pain in the very low part of his back. A look at Lance told him he was still asleep, and the clock by the bed read 6:58am. It was still too early to be awake.

The omega sighs, rubbing his face and resting a hand on his belly. As usual, their baby gives a little kick, pulling a smile from its mother.

“You behave,” he whispers, “or we’ll wake up your daddy.”

He gets another little kick in reply before the baby rolls over and settles.

Keith settles in, drifting just back to the cusp of sleep, when a sharp pain cuts through his reverie and up his spine. He inhales sharply, pushing to sit up. His heart was racing, but the baby seemed okay. There was no blood between his legs, he checked first thing. Maybe it was just a weird bout of back pains.

Lance shifts beside him, just barely awake. “Wha...? S’early, baby, c’mere…”

He reaches for his omega, and Keith lets himself be pulled back down into the warmth of his alpha and the covers. Lance’s hands settle neatly on his belly, his face tucked into the back of his neck. “Okay?” He rumbles.

Keith nods, melting against him. “Okay. Just… restless.”

He gets another sleepy rumble in reply, then a soft snore. He smiles to himself, rolling his eyes, and settles back in. The pain doesn’t come back right away, and sleep comes easier tucked away in Lance’s arms.

*

The pain comes back later that morning.

He was in the kitchen, putting dishes away — because even nine months pregnant, he still insisted on being useful — when it happens.

The pain is sudden and blinding, tearing up his spine and through his hips. Keith gasps, dropping the plate in his hands and reaching for the counter. The plate shatters at his feet, but he hardly registers it, too busy focusing on not biting through his tongue. After a few seconds, the pain is gone and he’s left panting and hanging onto the counter.

A few seconds later, Lance comes skidding into the room. “What happened?!” He yelps, gingerly scooping Keith up and away from the broken ceramic, setting him carefully on a kitchen chair and kneeling to check for injury.

“I’m okay,” Keith protests when he can get his wits about him. “It was just an accident, I’m fine.”

The alpha nods, but continues checking his feet and hands to ensure that he wasn’t hurt. Satisfied, he lets out a breath and leans up to press a relieved kiss to Keith’s lips.

“You scared me.” He murmurs, pressing his lips to his forehead next, lingering.

“Sorry.” The omega offers weakly, resting his hands on Lance’s shoulders. To be honest, his heart was still pounding, but that was probably because his back was still aching.

Lance pulls away, looking up at him, blue eyes searching purple. “Are you okay?” He asks, earnest. Keith can feel his heart melt.

“Yeah, I’m okay. I just got this weird sort of pain in my back. I probably just moved wrong.”

“Okay…” His mate says dubiously, the doubt in his voice reflected in his eyes. “I’m gonna go clean up the glass. You stay put.”

The omega bites back a protest, instead deciding it felt nicer to stay in the chair than it did to stand. Besides, like this, he got to see his mate bend down to pick things up, and that in itself was a treat.

*

The pains wouldn’t go away. It was starting to frustrate Keith immensely. Lance had sensed something was up after his omega had seized up and made a noise that could only be described as agonized when they were cuddling.

After fussing and ensuring he hadn’t done anything to hurt Keith or the baby, the omega had been left in a very grumpy pile of blankets and pillows, Lance at his side and on his computer.

“I feel fine.” He protests, not for the first time.

“I know,” Lance replies, also not for the first time.

“It was just indigestion, probably.”

“I know.”

“Nothing to worry about. You don’t have to hover.”

“I like hovering.”

Keith makes a dubious tch sound, settling back into the blankets. They’re quiet for a moment, enjoying each other’s presence, when the omega goes stiff and makes another noise of pain. One that sends panic and helplessness through his alpha.

“I’m calling the doctor.” He says, getting up and shutting his laptop.

“Lance!” Keith protests, or tries to. He’s cut off by another sharp pain, this one tearing the breath from his lungs and making him clench his teeth.

“I’m calling the doctor,” Lance says, kneeling in front of him as he dials the number, his gaze pleading. “Okay?”

“Okay,” He gasps when the episode passes, nodding and reaching for his hand. Lance takes it, squeezing gently. His touch is warm and grounding.

They wait in silence for a while before someone picks up. “Hi! Uh, hey, this is Lance McClain-Kogane. Can I speak to Dr. Smythe? Yes, thank you.” They wait a beat, the alpha’s thumb rubbing over the back of his hand, before anyone picks up.

“Hey, Coran, it’s Lance. I — Well, I… Keith is having some pain and I’m really worried. He’s um, well… it seems to be sudden…” He trails off, glancing at Keith for confirmation. He gets a nod before yet another searing pain tears a devastating noise from his omega.

“Yeah, uh, no it’s — it’s pretty bad. It’s happened a few times, I think..? I dunno, hold on, um. Babe,” He tilts the phone away from his mouth. “When did this start?”

“This morning,” Keith manages to hiss through his teeth.

Lance nods, his concern growing, before reporting this to the doctor. He listens a moment, then nods. “Right, yeah, I’ll— I’ll do that right now.” He gets up, squeezing his hand. “I’m gonna get you a heating pad, okay? Stay put.”

The omega nods, closing his eyes tight against another wave of pain as his alpha hurries off, still babbling to the doctor. He tries to breathe through it, tries to tell himself that this is all fine, everything is fine. It’s probably just… well, he doesn’t know what, but it sure is something.

The pain ceases abruptly, far more abruptly than before, and with it comes the tiniest popping feeling and then a rush of clear fluid. Keith goes still, understanding dawning. And then the pain hits in double.

“Lance,” He calls, his voice shrill.

No answer.

“Lance!” He shrieks, panic clawing up his throat and bleeding into his voice.

There’s the sound of thudding from upstairs, panicked alpha scent drifting into the room before Lance scrambles in, wild eyed. “What is it? Are you okay?”

“I think my water just broke.” He breathes, his eyes still on the mess in his lap.

The two of them are silent, save for the tinny sound of their doctor trying to get Lance’s attention. A pained whimper from Keith sets Lance back into action. “I’m here!” He says, both to the doctor and to his mate. He rushes over, dropping down in front of him and holding tight to his hand.

“Yeah, uh, his water just broke. No, there’s no blood— I don’t… no, we won’t have time to get to the hospital, his contractions are really close together. A… About thirty seconds? Oh. Oh, shit. Yeah, I’ll… Yeah.”

His eyes widen and he sets the phone down, putting it on speakerphone. “Okay.” He says.

“Hey, Keith.” Greets Dr. Smythe. “How’re you feeling?”

“Not very good,” He wheezes, clutching his belly and kicking a leg out in restless desperation. “I think this baby hates me.”

Their doctor chuckles. “No, I don’t think so. Listen, you’re going to need to start pushing soon. I’ve sent a dispatch team and they will be there as soon as they can.”

“What?” Keith’s eyes widen, the acrid stench of pained and panicked omega blooming in the room and making Lance hover closer. “But— no. No! I’m not supposed to… we’re supposed to do a c-section, I’m not supposed to do this naturally!”

“Hey, baby, hey…” Lance takes his hand, kissing his knuckles. “We’ll be okay. The ambulance will be here soon, all we have to do is try and deliver this baby.”

“Oh, yeah!” Keith cries hysterically. “All we have to do is delivery a baby! That’s it! That’s all!”

“Keith, I need you to breathe.” Dr. Smythe says calmly. “Lance is going to be with you the whole time. Are you comfortable?”

“Yes,” He hisses, the word more of a whine than an actual word. As comfortable as he was going to get, anyways, with all this pain taking over his autonomy.

He spaces out when another contraction hits, missing the instructions Lance is getting from the OB. He’s more focused on not dying and not freaking out, because apparently freaking out was bad for him and the baby. Which was inconvenient if you asked him (which no one did).

When he comes to, Lance is looking up at him with his eyes filled to the brim with love and a little bit of concern. “Come on, love,” he murmurs, “let’s deliver this baby.”

*

By the time the ambulance gets there, Keith is crying and exhausted and holding the little bundle they’d been waiting years for. He cries even harder when they take her — her — away from him to check her over and put her in an incubator until they reach the hospital.

Lance is with him the whole time, holding his hand and brushing his sweaty hair out of his eyes, whispering how proud of Keith he was, how amazing it was that he’d brought that little bundle into the world. The omega doesn’t stay awake long after they’re loaded in the ambulance and on the way to the hospital. Not with his sight on the little baby and his mate’s fingers tracing over his neck and cheek.

The second time he drifts back into consciousness, he’s in a sterile hospital room. There’s an IV in his arm and he’s hooked up to a couple machines to monitor his vitals. His whole body is sore and he feels like if he moves, he might scream.

This all fades away though, when he looks over to see his alpha holding their baby girl. She was swaddled in the pale green blanket he’d picked up a couple weeks ago — Lance must’ve grabbed it before they left. She was quiet, probably sleeping, and Lance was looking down at her with an expression so tender it almost made Keith cry.

“Hi,” the omega breathes.

Lance looks up, a wide smile taking over his face. “Hey, baby,” he murmurs, walking over to sit in the chair he’d pulled close to the bed. “How’re you feeling?”

“Sore. Tired.” Keith’s gaze never leaves their baby.

“Yeah, I’ll bet.” His mate chuckles, leaning over so Keith can see. “Look…”

The omega takes in his baby. She’s so sweet — she has Lance’s nose and darker skin, but Keith’s hair and eyes. He can’t help but smile, falling hopelessly in love with this tiny human. All the pain he’d gone through and all the fertility treatments and all of… well, everything had been so worth it.

“Can I hold her?” He whispers, emotion choking his throat enough to make it impossible to speak.

Lance gives him a soft smile before passing her over, resting her gently on Keith’s chest. She stirs, making a soft noise of annoyance before settling in, content when she smells her mother’s comforting scent.

“Hi,” the omega whispers, eyes full of tears. His fingers brush over her tiny little fist, traveling up to her downy hair. “Hi, baby…”

“You did that.” His alpha was close to his ear. A kiss was pressed to his temple, a hand combing through his hair. “I’m so proud of you, baby. She’s so beautiful.”

He can only sniff, pressing his nose to her tiny little head and closing his eyes. It takes a while to gather his thoughts, gather his words, before he realizes she needed a name.

“Can we name her Akira?”

“Yeah,” Lance breathes. “Yeah, of course. That’s perfect. You’re perfect.”

Keith gives a wet, emotional laugh, cupping the back of Akira’s little head. He had loved this baby — their baby — since he had found out nine months ago. But having her here, holding her close, he wanted nothing more that to protect her for as long as he could. He was definitely going to be a little bit of an overbearing mom.

“I love you, Akira.” He whispers.

“Go to sleep, baby.” Lance murmurs against his temple. “I’ll be right here. I won’t go anywhere.”

As the world fades away and Keith slips back into sleep, he falls into a blissful state of contentment and security, his alpha watching over him and his little girl safe against his chest.

*

You can find me on AO3 a Renegade_Reaper <3