In Your Uraichi Swinging Pendulum Spin-off Snippet, Once Ichigo Graduaes, Where Would He Live? Barracks?

Dick is kind of a big brother who knows what effect he has on his siblings's friends, and he never misses an opportunity to make himself look even cooler in their eyes. But Jason? Oh, Jason has no idea that people even consider him pretty and interesting.

It pisses his siblings even more.

Jason, on his bike, with the most insane face card: Hey, Replacement, hop on. We have work to do.

Kon, twirling his hair: Is your brother, like... free?

Bernard: Yeah, on Friday

Tim, with his eye twitching: I will kill you.

Jason, absolutely unaware of what is going on: ??? WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO

***

Jon, waving enthusiastically at Jason, who passes by kitchen: Jason is so cool!

Damian: ...

Jon: And kind!

Damian: Calling Todd kind is definitely a choice.

Jon: But he read me a bedtime story the last time I was staying here 😕

Damian, frowning: ...

(Damian, later that day: Why did you read bedtime story to Jon and not me.)

***

Jason: Why Tim's and Damian's friends keep fucking glaring at me? Or stumble when I am around? What tf am I doing wrong?

Dick, trying to hide his laughter: Eh, no idea

Bruce, absentmindedly: I, actually, have the same problem when I am around other people

Alfred, amused: No DNA test required, that's for sure

I think Jason should be allowed to manipulate his family with the "oh, you are my favourite, actually" line. It sounds very flattering to them (because Jason? Jason-I-Want-Nothing-To-Do-With-This-Family-Todd? Admitting you are his favourite? Oh, the hundred per cent bust of ego!) and more to say, this system of manipulation is eternal.

They can argue with each other as much as they want, but none of them would believe the other — Jason Todd is too tsundere to say something like this aloud, to each of them. So, someone is lying. For sure.

(And they are too self-assured in themselves to doubt that they are his favourite. Also, Jason makes every manipulation, specifically individual. So, it is not like he repeats the same confession and reasons. Very believable. Aka: this family needs someone to be open about their love, so they latch on everything and everyone who is willing to admit that openly)

Dick, slightly frustrated: Why are you asking me this favour? You know, I don't usually do these sort of things, I don't really... I don't know, it is too dangerous, I don't like the whole idea.

Jason, face dropping: Oh... Sorry. I shouldn't ask you, just... Dunno, I thought since you are my only big brother, and... Urgh, I guess I am still too attached to you more than to others. You are right. I'll ask Timbers or—

Dick, with his eyes suspiciously wet: oh-

Dick: NO, no. I'll do it. Don't worry. Big brother got your back, Lil Wing!

Tim, frowning: So, am I getting this right — you want me to hack into some system in someone's high school to fix the diploma of a kid who got a ONE bad grade—

Jason: He needs this scholarship. He is a kid of the streets! He can't do it otherwise, and it is not like the world would collapse if you fix one grade!

Tim: Yeah, I don't care about morals, I am just confused. Why would I want to spend my time on this, I am pretty sure—

Jason, dead ass serious: You know I don't like to communicate with this family. I only ever love talking with you, so sue me for thinking you could do me a favour.

Tim, instantly smirking: Ah, so I am your favourite... Well-well, big brother, I guess I can do this.

Damian: I am *not* going to tell you what our father is planning to do with this specific villain. Who do you think I am? An idiot?

Jason, sighing: Damn, and I really thought we had each other's back since League of Assassins.

Damian, scoffing: Emotional manipulation will not work on me.

Jason, all confused: Why would I manipulate you? From all people? I didn't raise you to fall on shit like this.

Damian: Tt.

Damian: Fine. Since, I guess, I owe you for babysitting me...

Bruce: Jason, I appreciate your... strive to help me, but nothing has ever gone well when you worked on cases like that. Let me handle this, and—

Jason, silently sitting down on the armchair, hands on his head: (sniff)

Bruce, panicked: Jaylad?..

Jason: I get it. I really do. No matter how much I love you, no matter how much I keep choosing you over anyone in this family, you don't love me anymore. I really understand it. I... I came in peace with it. I just wished you would tolerate my work... a little bit. You know?

Bruce: No, no, sweetheart, I— I am your favourite?

Jason, sniffling angrily: Who else it could be, old man?

Bruce: Oh. Oh, Jaylad— (instantly hands him the case)

(The family dinner)

Bruce, mentally humming to himself: Oh, these kids have NO idea that I am Jason's favourite because we are connected like that ^•^

Dick, mentally beaming: Oh, no one here has an idea that I am Jason's favourite because I am his big brother and protector! :>

Tim, mentally laughing evilly: Oh, these flops have no idea that I am Jason's favourite and that he wishes I was his Robin!

Damian, mentally kicking his feet: None of my family members suspect that I am Akhi's favourite because he was practically my nanny through all childhood. Tt.

Jason, munching on food: Lol

okay but bucky kissing steve’s hole better after he uses it 🙈🙈🙈

Warnings: Rimming. So much rimming. Talk of Steve’s... bottom.

***

Steve is spread out across the sheets on his stomach, spent. He’s got the side of his face resting against his folded forearms, and he’s still working on taking big, beautiful breaths to try and bring himself back down to Earth. Somewhere in the fog of his mind, he comprehends Bucky—still naked in all his magnificence—moving purposefully around the room.

Bucky ditches the used washcloth in the dirty laundry basket. He crawls onto the bed to join his baby, straddling the backs of Steve’s knees. He uses both hands to take a careful hold on each of Steve’s ass cheeks, and he spreads them gently to expose him to the air of the bedroom.

“Oh, sweetheart...”

It takes Steve’s head a moment to catch up, but when he does, his throat makes a high, mortified sound. He smashes his face into the crook of his elbow.

“No, no, Stevie,” Bucky chides. “Don’t get shy on me now.” He leans down and presses a chaste kiss right over the bruise on Steve’s tailbone. “I’m the one who made this mess. ‘S only right that I be the one to clean it up—isn’t it?”

Steve draws in a deep, shaky breath instead of answering. Bucky watches him try to make himself small, even when he’s six-foot-two of pure muscle and more than a stone over two hundred pounds.

“You need to answer me, baby boy.”

Steve whines.

“Yes.”

“‘Yes,’ what?”

“You should—you need to, um. To clean up your mess.”

Bucky groans and bites down on the rounded flesh of Steve’s ass cheek.

“Good boy. And where did I make a mess—”

“—Bucky!”

“Where did I make a mess, sweet thing? Tell me.”

Steve makes a sound that is half-sob, half-moan, and it’s the sound that Bucky knows Steve makes when he wants something very, very much but is embarrassed about how badly he wants it.

A mumbling noise comes from somewhere against the sheets.

“What’s that? I didn’t hear you, sweetheart.”

“My bottom,” Steve bites out, lifting his head. He is crying.

Bucky chuckles, a dark thing.

“Oh, baby boy... your bottom? I just came home to find you waiting for me in a plug and a cock ring, and then I had to spend three hours fuckin’ you silly because you begged me not to stop...”  Bucky gives Steve a two-fingered smack against his own come dripping down over Steve’s perineum, then trails his fingers upwards. “...And now you can’t call this little pink asshole what it is?”

“Bucky... please...”

“‘Please’ what, doll? You really gotta start bein’ more specific if you wanna get the things you need...”

“Please, um. Please clean up m—my...” Steve stops with an important inhale, as little as he is big, and he wipes his nose against his arm. “Please clean the mess on my bottom.”

“On your bottom?”

“N—Well, yes, but, um also... in my bottom.”

Bucky laughs, in love beyond any form of volume or time or measure of daylight, and presses a wet kiss against Steve’s gaping asshole.

“That’s a sweet boy,” Bucky growls, licking a wide stripe up Steve’s leaking hole and savoring the taste of himself in Steve’s musk. “Do you want to be kissed like I’m kissing your mouth? Or do you want it like I’m kissing your wet cunt?”

Steve barks. Bucky fucks him through it on the hardworking tip of his tongue.

“L—like, um...” Steve starts, quiet and soft after a little break, “...like my mouth?”

Bucky hums out his satisfaction with Steve’s answer and reshuffles his legs, getting comfortable, settling in. He cups each of Steve’s cheeks in his hands in the same way that Steve cups his jawline when he wants Bucky to kiss him tender and sweet.

“Okay, sweetheart,” Bucky rumbles, the tip of his nose tracing up the slick valley of Steve’s ass. “You stay still while I clean this messy bottom. Yeah?”

***

This tale of true love is extremely dedicated to @canadiangarrison @mitsususu @calypso-mary for enabling and not complaining while i actively steal your ideas,❤

masterlist [x]

Pt1. // Pt.2 // next

Hood would never want to be verified and would actively hate being verified argue with the wall

happy deathday to my baby boy😢sorry I'm late again.

the avengers playing "never have I ever" or a similar game, and rhodey goes "never have I ever been handcuffed". predictably, tony, clint and maybe nat put their fingers down, but what no one expected was that steve did too. so tony's all like WOAH WAIT SINCE WHEN WAS CAPTAIN AMERICA HANDCUFFED? :O and then there's this voice from the ceiling that sounds much like bucky's which goes "5 hours ago, stark. right where you're sitting." the entire floor is later scrubbed thoroughly with bleach.

“Never,” Rhodey declares, while staring straight at his best friend, “have I ever let someone handcuff me for any – fun reasons.”

He is still mad at Tony for bringing up the crossdressing incident of ‘03 and so he takes particularly vindictive delight in watching every head turn towards Tony after the statement has been given.

Except – and here’s what makes revenge against Tony Stark unsatisfying – Tony doesn’t even blush. He grins, winks at the onlookers, and tosses back his shot like it’s nothing.

Natasha and Clint both toss back their shots, too, and send each other sly looks. Entirely unsurprising.

And then Steve reaches for his shot and the room goes utterly, utterly still. Rhodey glances at Coulson and Coulson glances back; he can practically see the exclamation points in Coulson’s eyes even though his expression doesn’t shift.

“I’m sorry,” Tony says, because of course it’s him. It always is. “Maybe you didn’t understand, Cap. Rhodey here is talking about –”

“Sex,” Steve interrupts. “I know.”

He takes the shot. Everyone stares.

Steve sets down the glass and looks at everyone looking at him, batting his eyelashes innocently. Even after watching him take that shot, knowing what it meant, nearly everyone in the room buys it.

“We promised, didn’t we?” He asks. “At the beginning. We promised to be honest.”

And although Tony was not the least bit phased by his own sexual exploits being laid bare for the crowd, he’s suddenly flustered and red.

“You let my aunt,” he starts and then abruptly changes direction: “you can’t just tell her secrets like that, Rogers!”

Steve’s lips quirk just the faintest bit and he says, “no, not her. I wouldda let her, though, if she’d asked.”

Everyone stares a bit more.

From the far corner of the room, where he’s been sitting as an observer instead of a participant, Bucky Barnes starts to laugh.

Steve turns to him and his smile becomes so besotted that there’s no question at all about who’s gotten the chance to tie up Captain America.

“Forgot how well that innocent act works on people,” Bucky says to Steve, just as the team starts to react. “Christ, you had ‘em fooled.”

“Best friends, my ass,” Sam grumbles.

“Makes so much sense –”

“I can’t believe I ever thought you were vanilla –”

The words blend together, rising in volume, until there’s no way to tell who’s saying what or what declarations are even being made; it’s all incomprehensible noise. Steve and Bucky just sit there, smiling at each other. 

Rhodey and Coulson fist bump under the table.

What if: Both Ichigo and Urahara were booted back in time in the Swinging Pendulum universe?

Notes: Idk if I’ll continue this later (once those later SP canon parts are written). But I was in an UraIchi mood, and I’ve been trying to write some more of SP so here’s hoping this helps me get past that writer’s block.

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more Aishin! (a little nsfw

Nicholas J Fury spent one weekend in the 90s hanging out with a cool lesbian and then spent the next twenty years trying and failing to find another superhero with her general degree of competence or emotional maturity

the adventures of cool ranch and spicy nacho