Sadjapes - Japes

I'm sorry to all my friends old and new and loved ones I didn't mean to turn out insane and irksome or bothersome. I wish I had been able to keep my reputation when my last relationship ended. I've done so much I wish I hadn't. It'll never be okay or the same.

constant positivity can be a form of avoidance. it's okay to have negative feelings too.

More of Jake trying to find a new style to draw him in and age him up more.

WHY / WHY ME (repeated)

I'm back from rehab and had electroshock therapy and I'm not allowed on my computer for a while but that's OK. I feel like a washed up has been that's just a mistake with no friends but it'll pass one day. Probably.

I went insane for a little while there and let the delusions win. Now I'm doing better.

Something for an old friend I'm not sure I'm still on good terms with.

Now I know everything I thought wasn't real really isn't real. I've been having delusions for years. It's been harrowing. I've bothered others, gone off the deep end. If only I could go back 5 years and undo what has happened and what I did. I don't feel the crippling guilt anymore at least that's lasted my entire life.

my mental illness is going to ruin every friendship, every relationship, it’s going to fucking destroy everything and i don’t know how to stop it