Scarlet-anon - BV

Dull

Her eyes focused on the smallest particle of dust, as it slowly danced around through the air. She breathes ever so slowly in, then out again. Her eyes fell shut. She took in the quiet. The small ticks of her clock across the room, the sound of the AC running quietly from the other side of the house. It was as if the entire world was asleep. She Drew in a deep breath, breathing it out through her mouth slowly, drawing it out as long as possible. Slowly she reopened her eyes. She panned her eyes around the dull cold room, slowly taking in every detail. The lighting slightly changed as the sun passed behind the clouds outside her window. Her thighs and wrists still ached from earlier that day. She noticed the small pain on her elbow as well from the night before, where the skin had been scraped and irritated now. Her dull room walls sat around her like a prison cell seeming too slowly get closer as she lay in her bed. Even the large comforter couldn’t keep her warm as the Autumn air hit her neck and face. She felt the warm wetness fall from her eyes slowly, she once more breathed in ever so slowly as her mind continue to scream, she shut her eyes hoping it would all be over as fast as it started. ~Anon

The Glamour of Eating Disorders.

Because of my decade of eating disorders, this is where I’ve been 🦋

🌸I’ve purged in every single bathroom on my college’s campus.

🌸 I’ve been questioned for smelling like vomit

🌸 I’ve bruised my ass and legs (which hurt for weeks after) just by sitting down

🌸 I have fainting spells now! Last Friday I fainted 5 times and was nearly sent to the ER. Once I fainted in the shower and as a result, my boyfriend insists on keeping the bathroom door open and on checking on me. Every shower since.

🌸 I’ve eaten trash during a binge

🌸 I’ve eaten a 2 week old stale donut that I found in my boyfriend’s friend’s apartment during a binge.

🌸 I have rummaged through the homes of friends, family, and even strangers for scales to weigh myself. Once, I even pawed through a frat house during a party to weigh myself. (If you’re curious, I found one and did weigh myself.)

🌸I’ve shoplifted laxatives and diuretics in desperation.

🌸I have bone- bruised my coccyx (tailbone) by sitting on the toilet.

🌸 I’ve seized (had a seizure) because I had binged and purged so many times in a day.

🌸 I have destroyed my thyroid (a very important organ, I may add) because of my years of ED, and will now be on medication for the rest of my life.

🌸I have permanently damaged my intensities from abusing laxatives.

🌸 My stomach is beyond fucked up as a result of permanent damage.

🌸I have abused drugs I didn’t even want to do in order to suppress my appetite.

🌸I have damaged my heart because of my ED.

🌸 I have stolen food to binge and purge.

🌸I have both puked and shit blood because of damaged organs.

🌸I had, at one point, lost half my hair because of malnutrition– adding of course that I grew lanugo EVERYWHERE in addition.

🌸 I get dizzy spells every time I stand

🌸I have taken so many laxatives that I spent an entire day puking and shitting.

🌸 I have seriously emotionally hurt my partner (romantic) because of actions I took because of my eating disorder.

🌸 I have drained my bank account compulsively buying ED shit.

🌸 I have chronic chest pains because of my ED.

🌸 I have gotten bone-bruises in my sleep because I had my joints crossed.

🌸I have lost my adolescence and youth to my ED

🌸 I have estranged myself from my family because of my ED

🌸 I have not spent a day without thinking about my weight since I was 9/10 years old.

🌸 I have had my ED so long, it has become a part of my identity and sense of self– I am terrified of recovery because of this

🌸 I have shortened my lifespan significantly–to the point where I have discussed the fact that I will die first wth my partner, as we plan our future together.

This has ruined my life.

Please do not think these disorders will in any way improve your life, they will only plunge you into hell. I do not say these things for pity or attention– I simply want to deter others from ever dabbling in ED behaviors and encourage those who have not been disordered long to seek help before it’s too late. And, obviously, to deter anyone from seeking this kind of behavior. These diseases will destroy you in every realm of your life. They will kill you. I have lost friends to these diseases. Death is a real threat– do not make the mistake of thinking it cannot happen to you. It will. All an eating disorder will ever be is pain.

We need to destroy the glamour that seems to surround eating disorders, which only exists because of the rampant misinformation on the subject. We must bring the true reality of ED’s to light. We cannot let misinformation ruin any more lives. Please spread the reality of EDs. It’s never too late to recover. I encourage everyone to seek recovery/ and or treatment.

Much Love, K

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scarlet-anon

8 months ago

"Came back wrong" but instead of Jason turning evil or whatever he just came back with a taste for pineapple pizza

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scarlet-anon

7 years ago

Take care of yourself ~

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scarlet-anon

8 months ago

Writing Timber is making these two so similar, but different in tiny, distinct little details. They're both conspiracy theorists, they're both the most insane person in any room they walk into, they use the cringiest slang, they're just Some GuyTM, they're addicted to Zestis, they're disaster bis, they're troublemakers, they're both magnets to tragedy, they're skater boys but in different ways.

But also:

Tim's first instinct in danger is to use his brain while Bernard's is to use his brawn.

Tim wins in the category of intellectual intelligence but Bernard wins in common sense.

For Tim, subtlety is everything. Bernard's never heard of it though.

Tim constantly has high expectations placed on him and usually manages to rise to the occasion. Bernard is constantly underestimated by everyone around him and that means he can occasionally surprise a couple people.

Bernard yaps a lot and goes on endless tangents about anything and everything. Tim doesn't talk much but he listens to every minuscule detail, and knows exactly how to use it against you when you least expect it.

Tim was that one guy in class who the teacher could not stand but always managed to get straight A's without trying. Bernard was the class clown that got mediocre grades but was surprisingly skilled in things he was passionate about.

Tim's a lot more reserved and calm but can make friends with just about anybody and is surprisingly laidback and snarky once you get to know him. Bernard is loud and annoying and extroverted, but he pulls back when someone gets too close and suddenly they realize he has secrets too.

Tim doesn't usually try to impress anyone romantically but he keeps managing to pull people into his orbit anyway. Bernard will flirt with anyone who breathes and ultimately fail to impress anyone.

They both love looking into mysteries but when Bernard is investigating, the What's New, Scooby Doo? theme is practically playing in the background, while for Tim, it might as well be the theme of Criminal Minds.

Tim seems all chill and put-together until you actually step into his room and wade knee-deep into punk rock dvds and mismatched socks. Bernard is visibly a mess, but he can get his shit together when it comes down to it.

Tim handles a situation by going out to take down a threat, as is the nature of a Bat. Bernard stays to tend to the wounded, because his time is Louis Grieves has scarred him and now he has to make sure what happened to Darla never happens again.

They both think of themselves as a magnet for the trouble and think of each other as a good luck charm that managed to bring the light back into their lives.

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scarlet-anon

8 years ago