Don’t Give Up

00:25

I’m sat here. It’s currently 00:25. My mind has been messy lately. I feel like I shouldn’t have friends. Like I should shut my mouth instead of talking. Yet I talk anyways. I feel like I’m annoying everyone I make conversation with. I feel gross. I want to be someone else. I’ve been unactive because I wanted to have this as a positive account but I have nothing positive to say. I’ve dicided to forget it. It’s my account. No one reads my post anyways. I’m sat on my bed right now. My sisters tanning on the other side of the wall. My parents are sleeping. And the world feels empty. My friend just went to bed. I wish I could have seen her today like I was ment to but she remembered she had plans with someone else so she hung out with them. I won’t lie, I feel jelous. This seems to happen Everytime I want to hang out with someone. They are busy. I’m starting to think maybe it’s intentional. It’s okay though, I don’t blame them. Everyone has a right to their own opinions on me. I’m so incredibly sad right now. I keep hoping someone will say something to help me right now but everyone is asleep. The world around me seems asleep exept for my sister and I just feel like a tiny annoyince in her life right now. I never said anything but I’m going to say it on here sense no one reads it anyways and I need to get it out. Last month I got super depressed. I swallowed a half a bottle of random pills I’d been saving up. I have about two pills left. They didn’t do anything. I somewhat wish they had. That’s not my only problem. I’m facing one right now. I just need a sign. But who I want one from hasn’t said a thing. I should stop relying on others to save me. I’m sorry. ~Anon

reminder

• try not to invalidate your struggles by comparing them to others • everyone handles situations differently • everyone is equip with different strengths and skill sets. • just because someone has it worse than you does not mean your struggle is meaningless

Dull

Her eyes focused on the smallest particle of dust, as it slowly danced around through the air. She breathes ever so slowly in, then out again. Her eyes fell shut. She took in the quiet.  The small ticks of her clock across the room, the sound of the AC running quietly from the other side of the house. It was as if the entire world was asleep. She Drew in a deep breath, breathing it out through her mouth slowly, drawing it out as long as possible. Slowly she reopened her eyes. She panned her eyes around the dull cold room, slowly taking in every detail. The lighting slightly changed as the sun passed behind the clouds outside her window. Her thighs and wrists still ached from earlier that day. She noticed the small pain on her elbow as well from the night before, where the skin had been scraped and irritated now. Her dull room walls sat around her like a prison cell seeming too slowly get closer as she lay in her bed. Even the large comforter couldn’t keep her warm as the Autumn air hit her neck and face. She felt the warm wetness fall from her eyes slowly, she once more breathed in ever so slowly as her mind continue to scream, she shut her eyes hoping it would all be over as fast as it started. ~Anon

February 21st, - 7:00

My family finally told me what's wrong with my father. We don't know for sure but his doctor thinks it's highly possible. We don't have the date yet for his important appointment but we should get it later today. I'm scared. I need to pray tonight for him. Please keep my dad save and healthy. I can't lose him. ~Anon

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