Sometimes It Doesnt Work But Im Still Trying

a lot of people don’t seem to understand that “being suicidal” doesn’t mean that you’re actively attempting suicide, or harming yourself. you could be suicidal and not self harm. you could be suicidal and not attempt. 

so please dont think someone is faking their suicidal tendencies just because they dont “seem like it”. just because you dont see physical scars on them doesnt mean theyre fighting a hard battle in their head.

I wasn’t abused for 20 fucking years so I could be told I am lucky or fascinating or complex. My abuse did not enhance my personality. It fucking destroyed me. I am not ‘inspiration porn’ for you to get off on. I am not public property for you to appropriate and plagiarize so you can feel edgy. You want to be abused so badly? Go find someone to abuse you but never, ever try to take the memories and narratives of victims and mimic them. We do not exist to be gawked at. We do not exist to be statistics in your fucking pamphlets. Fuck off.

(takeachillquill)  (via takeachillquill)

my latest work of art

i'm so thankful for the fact that my boyfriend is understanding of the fact that i need more reassurance and affection than most people and that i often get scared that he'll leave me and i'm also proud of myself for handling everything so well because i'm assuring him that none of this is his fault and that i thank him for listening to me and i try to stay as calm as possible when i get anxious and i've improved so much compared to last year

I hate that trauma and abuse have long-lasting consequences! I really hate that!!! It was bad enough while it lasted, why do I have to suffer from it even 10 years later????

NTs will write massive articles complaining about how Jaws demonised sharks and literally campaign to combat the stigma against SHARKS but turn around and say that Split is okay because “some people with DID are like that”, “it’s just a movie” and “not to take it so seriously”.

like. here’s a shoutout to the abuse victims who weren’t “nice”. who haven’t been submissive and soft and kind to their abusers, who were angry and hurt them - purposefully or not -, who screamed at them, who didn’t treat the person that hurt them so much well. who became toxic for their abusers because they couldn’t or wouldn’t handle it “nicely”. who tried to speak up, who caused arguments, who “provoked” further abuse by being rude and mean and harsh. who were angry and hurt and wanted to pay their abusers back for what they did to them. who realised something was off and refused to just accept it, who seemed like “bad people” without context because the abuse has made them angry and unwilling to be nice anymore. who aren’t “nice” anymore, who are still angry and don’t want to try because they tried and were hurt anyway. you are all valid, and no matter how you reacted you didn’t deserve the abuse. you are not the same as your abuser just because of how you dealt with the situation. it is not and has never been your fault. they hurt you, and they never had the right to.