Okay, I'm Supposed To Be Sleeping But I Need To Make This Or I'll Die.

You know whats sad to think about, when Andrew was searching the stadium for Neil after the riot, if he had tried calling him and thats how he found his bag/racket/phone, it would have been the ringtone on repeat of the lyrics "runaway train never going back" when he found out neil was kidnapped. I bet that haunted him, he was high when he made that ringtone, as a joke, Neil was a little rabbit always on the run, but he gave him the phone as a way to stay and that option was dropped, left in the dirt and blaring at him that Neil isn't coming back, and then theres kevin in his ear.

"Where is he?"

"Its too late. If his fathers men found him hes dead already."

"Where is he!"

"You were always going to lose him."

I bet it was the first time he ever regretted something. Letting him go. He promised to back down, to let him loose and now he's gone. Those words probably echoed in his head, "I need you to let me go." He had agreed, but never to this, never to him being taken. But Neil wasn't his, there was no 'this', Neil has no ties to Andrew, but he still wanted to tear the world apart to find him because losing him was not an option.

I was rereading SBG and in chapter 39, Aiden says "you seem like the type of person to only get close to those who are special to you, and I dont know how to go about that" (paraphrased)

This man is literally telling her, TO HER FACE that he wants to be someone special to her. He is so clueless when it comes to emotional interactions and just relationships in general. He doesnt know what it is to truly have a friend, and he seems scared of messing it up. He blames himself for her getting hurt and he admits he was the problem and apologizes. He basically tells her 'I care about you and I want us to be close but I have no idea what Im doing, help me to be someone to you, help me learn how to be someone for you'

AHHHH Im probably reading too much into this but as someone who didnt have friends until I was like 14, I know how easy it is to desperately cling to someone and hope with everything in your heart that they care as much as you do. He definitely seems to be doing that here and it makes my heart hurt 😭

I have no idea how to animate yet here I am with an entire script in my brain for a JereJean animation. I want so badly to try but idk if I can do it or ever finish. The slowburn is in my brain and I need it on paper 😭😭😭

12 hours and 16 minutes later, I am about 45 seconds into this animation 😅

Anyway heres another panel

I feel like my style and how I have been drawing them is so inconsistent and all over the place, but I'm still at it 🤷‍♀️

There are too mamy itches in my brain. Andreil. Its a peaceful Saturday morning and they're sleeping in, sun just barely filtering through the window as they cuddle together. Neil's pressed against Andrews side and Andrew has an arm around him laying on his back. The phone rings waking them both and Andrew goes to turn it off but its a call from Aaron, a FaceTime. So he answers, groggy and half asleep. He wakes up more after noticing that Aarons been crying.

"You're still in bed" chuckles from the other end of the phone

"Its the weekend, you're crying?" Andrew cuts the small talk and Neil peaks open an eye out of curiosity.

"We have some news" Katelyn wiggles her way onto the screen standing behind Aaron. "We're pregnant" she give a small happy dance. Andrew stares blankly for a moment.

"Youre going to be an uncle." Aaron says, clearly a bit nervous but mostly proud.

"How long?" Is the only response he can think of.

"I'm currently eight weeks, so give or take another 32 weeks, but theres more."

"More?" Andrew sits up a bit dragging Neil with him.

"Twins" Aaron finishes. Neil muffles a laugh into Andrew's shoulder.

"Good luck with that. If they are anything like you, your hands will be full."

"Shut up" Andrew and Aaron say in sync. Neil just laughs again with a shrug.

"You're not saying much." Aaron presses, fiddling with a pen.

"He's excited" Neil says, looking up at him. Andrew scoff and pushes his face away "he's got that look in his eyes, he happy" Andrew shoves Neil off of him.

"If you ever need anything," Andrew mumbles grumpily to which Aaron nods.

"We will be posting updates on our socials, but we wanted you to know first" katelyn says before disappearing off screen.

"Yeah okay." They talk a bit more before hanging up. Andrew stares at the black screen, processing everything.

"Whats on your mind?" Neil whispers crawling back over to him.

"I'm going to be an uncle. He wants me to be apart of it. Of their lives."

"Of course he does, you're his brother."

"A year ago, I would have never gotten that phone call." He drops the phone on his chest, letting it lay face down. Neil lets him be lost in thought for a moment, then reaches out and brushes the hair from his face.

"You two fixed your relationship. Of course he wants you to know his kids."

"Have you ever thought about it?" Andrew picks at his nails, not looking at Neil.

"About what? Drew, what are you asking?"

"Kids. Have you thought about it?"

"I think I'd make a terrible father. I didn't think you were the type to want kids"

"We dont have to be parents. We could foster. Its just an idea, i dont know." Andrew sits up, tossing his legs over the bed. "I don't even think kids would like me." Neil sits up too, watching Andrew's back.

"Do you want to foster children?" Andrew just shrugs at the question, not facing him.

"We could, it would be one more good house in all of the bad ones. Kids might not like us but theyd have their own room. A warm bed and a safe place to be." His words are quiet, contemplating. "Its just a thought."

"We can always look into it. I wouldn't mind."

"An uncle. He wants me to be an uncle." Andrews thoughts go full circle and Neil cant help but smile. Their future seems bright, and possibly filled with young laughter and toys. Neil inches his way to him and whispers "yes or no" a mumbled yes and Neil trails little kisses down Andrews neck, hugging his back to him.

"This also technically makes me an uncle, think Aarons upset about that yet?" Andrew rolls his eyes at him, earning another laugh.

Jeremy is trying so desperately to claw his way out of the hole his family has thrown him in, all the while his lifeline was cut, there is nothing to hold onto.

And yet, when it comes to his friends trying to climb through their struggles, he gives them tips and footholds, explains how to hold your weight without losing your grip because maybe he cant climb any higher, but they still are tethered to the top, to a bright future beyond all of this, so he smiles and hides the frayed, broken bits that are left of his lifeline, hoping to watch them make it to the top, knowing he wont.

Jean spent years at the bottom, unmoving, not knowing how to climb out, not willing to try. He never had a lifeline to begin with and the steep walls were an impossible feat. But Neil threw him a lifeline and he unwilling tangled into it, eventually realizing he can get out he can be free. And of course he notices the bright sunshine child, the man that radiates in the dark and he will linger as long as it takes for him to make him understand that they can do it together. Jeremy can latch into Jeans lifeline and they can climb out together. With Jeremys experience and Jeans unending determination, they can carve a future into a world that was against them.

Idk where I was going with this but we ended up here 🙃

what if when jean finds out about jeremy’s mother withholding his documents, the first thing he does is go and confront jeremy about it? “why did I not know before? I am your partner! why didn’t you tell me?”

he’s overrun by a sense of betrayal and that feeling is very quickly met head-on with jeremy’s own guilt, but also every other intense feeling that comes with knowing that your future isn’t really yours to have.

and this is how they have their first real, heated argument. getting in each other’s faces, one to demand answers because seriously how could jeremy not tell him? and the other to finally let their heart bleed out with things like “what would it matter? what could you change, jean? I don’t have a choice—“

and this is how we get jeremy crying in front of jean for the first time. they’re both hot with emotion and jeremy’s face is flushed while his hands shake and he just starts sobbing. and jean is so taken aback that all he can do is go quiet and stare.

jeremy’s eyes look almost black through his tears and jean listens as jeremy breaks down, spouting out every awful thought that’s been plaguing him all these months. how he doesn’t have a choice about law school, about how he doesn’t have a choice— he has to stay at home where they don’t love him.

jeremy breaks so sharply that jean can almost hear the jagged pieces of his heart as jeremy crumbles in on himself, and he doesn’t even think before he’s back in jeremy’s space again.

this is how we get jean hugging jeremy for the first time. he pulls jeremy close until jeremy has no choice but to cry into his shirt, and jean holds onto jeremy tighter than he ever has anything else in his life. he lets him cry, his own thoughts and emotions a tornado.

how quickly jean’s heart goes from “how could he not tell me?” to “what can I do?”

because he can’t leave jeremy alone in that darkness now— not knowing how deep it goes. he can’t let go of this sunshine man who has pulled him out of his own hell again and again.

jean can’t. he won’t. so what can he do—?

I dont care what anyone says, Jeremy Sumpter is my Neil Josten 😌

I am in suffering. My phone is completely broken and you cant fast pass on PC, SBG my heart yearns for you :(

totally spoiled some of the most recent chapter but that's okay, I just pray they make it out of their situation and I get a happy moment when I can finally read it again

Jeremy Knox in an Underwear ad

I just had this idea of him getting offered a magazine ad after a game and it being for a sports company with a new underwear line. (also just a practice for anatomy because I'm not great at it)

zoomed in ones under the cut.

Jean, Cat and Laila would definitely go with him, the girls would be taking videos of the awkward set ups and him messing up while Jean is hanging on for dear life.

I meant to add a quote of him saying "Do I get to keep these?" but I forgot. Oopies

I’m going to casually drop this here and pretend I’m not embarrassed with myself 😅 I wrote a Kevaaron fic that is VERY sexual, anyway!