Completely Accurate, Thank You Tumblr User @peniswizard69

Eat the lich.

Martin is a bath towel. Jon is an old dish cloth. Michael is a scarf. Elias is a pocket square. I bet we could fabric cast everyone this way. Why? I don't know. It just works

Sam: dude, that's not how you make tea

Dean: the microwave is broken

Castiel: [removes his finger from Dean's now boiling cup] Dean, you said this was for the case

Sam: [baffled] the MICROWAVE is broken?

I work at a gas station at night. For whatever reason, generally, the store gets empty around 10 and then gets clusters of people at 11. So I, when I come back out from the back room and see people... I have not played Minecraft in MONTHS. For whatever reason, my first thought is

"the mobs have spawned"

Castiel is like if you had one hand only, and that hand (your only hand) was a small cat. You can never pet that cat because

1. The cat is your hand

2. It's your only hand

I should also mention you have no other hand for petting the small cat (the cat is your hand btw)

On a scale from 1-10, yeah? Please respond

Hang on let me imagine something real quick

Jon: [sweating, pointing at a conspiracy board] ... Do you understand now, Martin?

Martin: [crocheting with Jon's conspiracy board yarn]

Jon: WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT CROCHETING WITH THE CONSPIRACY BOARD YARN?

Martin: I made a bee :) it's for you

Jon: You!? You...!! [sighs] It's very cute, Martin. Thank you.

Don't I know it

saddest thing that can happen is a cat so delicately and cozy putting their small apple head on your leg like a pillow to sleep while fully unaware that in like five minutes you're going to get up to go eat because they don't know human language or how time works

@i-am-a-fish

Fact check?

I only reblog the best of the best. This, this is it

wнαт тнe ғυcĸ ιѕ тнιѕ?

I'm starting to find the deranged House MD content. The edits. The shitposts. I know I'm digging into a well developed fandom. Just finished season one. This is going to be a tasty meal