Grabbing Every 13 Yo Girl By The Arms And Yelling "YOU LOOK FINE !!!!!!! DON'T SPEND UR ALLOWANCE ON

“Emotional abuse works like this: You are screamed at, and then, not knowing any better, you stand up for yourself. You think this is a way of being strong. You think this is a defense tactic.But this only provokes more screaming. Going silent provokes more screaming too, but usually it keeps the threats to the minimum. It keeps it just at screaming and not: a shove down the stairs, or order to pack your stuff and get out. So you learn how to go silent. How to play dead. How to cry without making a noise. How to swallow noise. How to wipe your cheeks, get out of the car, and go about your day. You learn. And when the screaming has stopped, when the two of you are in the car or out to dinner and they’re all smiles, all asking for favors, all questions, you are still hurt and annoyed and want to ask them, how? How can you speak to me like that? How can you pretend you did not say those things? How can you have forgotten? But you’ve learned. So you listen to, “Can I borrow your key”s and “how was your day”s and you play dead. You swallow the noise. And sometimes it doesn’t matter who is speaking to you, it doesn’t matter if they’re a friend, it doesn’t matter if their criticism is constructive, it doesn’t matter. You’ve learned. Any sort of speaking, any raising of the voice, any insult and you play dead.”

— Good Girl, Lora Mathis (via lora-mathis)

is there anything so undoing as a daughter?

We need to stop being so anxious about our loved ones needing some space from us. It's ok to need some alone time, it's ok to take time to regroup after a disagreement, space does not equal separation, and our anxiety of separation is not a reason to deny someone the space they need. Even needing time everyday spend alone is normal. Some people need more space than others and that's ok. They will come around. Give them a minute.

in another universe israel does not exist

Vogue US // 1993

if you’re in high school right now you gotta start writing poetry trust me on this, it’s cringe, poetry kids are pretentious, you’ll look back on it and be embarrassed, and it is literally the best thing you could be doing right now. The world is in dire need of more crappy teenage poetry

when the very religious conservative hardcore homophobic girl asks you how you knew you were bi, and you didn't even tell her.. "how did you know, i haven't told anyone" and watch the panic and confusion set in

abeera tanveer and syed mushahid for bhaane by zn ali

oh my gosh, when i was in treatment for an eating disorder i was so scared to tell the people around me for this exact reason.. at one point i would frequently speak about diet culture and weightloss to the thinner girls without even clocking because i was so stuck in my head that these girls were thin and i wasn't. it was lowkey triggering to even be friends with one of them, which isn't something that's even her fault. after a while she figured out that i had an eating disorder and she would make comments sbout the way i looked (she told me to get a nosejob, told me i ate a lot, would make comments about wanting my "big thighs") she now goes around telling people that i said something sour about her appearance. the truth is, i ate so little during that period of my life that i was so fatigued all the time so i genuinely do not recall saying anything about her appearance, it's all a blur to me. i can't help but feel guilty about it.

people calling girls with eating disorders "spoiled brats" and "attention seekers" as if these conditions aren't life threatening; when u have an eating disorder that induces starving, you think of only yourself and how people are perceiving your body. you think that you need to be a skinny dainty princess 24/7 and immediate panic sets in as soon as you are forced to eat something or go over your caloric limit because the mindset is that you will gain a large amount of weight if you have that food/calories right then. however the people that hate, don't see this as mental illness taking action, they take it as a deliberate action of disgust against other womens bodies.

i remember discussing eating disorders in a group therapy session not long ago and a girl who was plus size, said that a lot of the anorexic girls are so scared of gaining weight and it had a huge toll on her cause she knew she was a lot bigger than them so she took it as a deliberate fatphobic action against her because no one wants to be fat. she said that if these girls would hate on bigger bodies, how is it any different if bigger women do the same back?

both parties are insecure

and what these girls fail to realise is that when girls with eating disorders think about being thin, they don't compare themselves to bigger girls. they crave for the validation of control, controlling hunger. they compare themselves to the version of them before where they had no control over their hunger. it felt like the one thing you were doing right in life because if you had the will to starve yourself for however long you wanted, that would conform to your sense of self control and knowing you could control a part of your looks despite constantly having a distorted view of your own body. at a certain point you even become addicted to the feeling of hunger, that control is taken away when you are made to eat over a 'safe' amount.

point is, developing an eating disorder has become something that is looked down on in a manner of disdain, when in reality these girls need all the support they can get without judgement.

ppl rly hate girls with eating disorders tbh. did anyone else notice this

My absolute hottest take is that, from a culturally relative perspective, no food is bad. None of it. It's an expression of culture, art, history, ecology, material conditions, subjective taste. It's all inedible pap to somebody and the taste of childhood for someone else. Americans be eating cheesed burger. Pea wet is as good as gravy in Wigan. The French eat snails and the Inuit eat seal, the Germans eat sauerkraut and the Russians drink kvass, the Inca ate cavy and the Romans ate flamingo. People around the world have been eagerly awaiting their serving of simple bread or thin porridge or fermented milk product or pickled whatever-the-fuck since we learned to cook food over fire. We all love the slop we grew up eating. Food is a reflection of millennia of culture and loving human artistic expression. Attempting to extrapolate largely harmless online food banter into actual serious comparative rankings or half-baked critical analyses of cultures based on how much you subjectively don't like what they eat is a miserable way to live. Live a little. Peace and love on the only planet with food.