Thank

I’m Diseased

I’m diseased of adults

Assuming the worst from me

When it is just me

Then they give me a hard time

For nothing

I’m diseased of being a millennial

And adults assuming

That I’m lazy

And addicted to my phone

When it’s just me who just so happens to be different

I’m tired of feeling

Like I’m worthless

And no one will ever

Truly

Fall in love with just me and I them

I’m diseased

Of teachers

Thinking they are better

Because of a degree

At the moment I’m just 1,000 degrees of rage

I don’t want to go to school

I don’t want this factory process

Of being separated

Embarrassed

And torn apart

I’m diseased of being a product

And not a person

The only thing I’ve learned from school

Is that if you don’t want to be bent around

Then keep your mouth shut

I’m diseased with adults

Smoldering my fire

My passion

My,

Will to live and carry on…

Leaving

When I was three

I met a boy

He was my brother, just from another family

We split at 12 and now I look at him, and he looks at me,

Like we are strangers

When I was a little older

I didn’t know how to play solitaire

Pop pops would tell me what cards were “no good”

And without him not neglecting me as memere did, my world has grown colder

I wonder with no way of knowing what he was truly like in all of his strength

When I became a teenager I like to read I like to learn

My aunt taught me, about cancer

She asked me the questions that I still need

But now I only get asked about school or if I have finally caught a boyfriend

About two months after she left

So did my boyfriend and

He was a fuckboy

He was a theft

But I was so in love

When I got dumped

For another girl, I wrote a poem and sent it to him

Someone said that I pulled a Taylor Swift

I took that as a compliment even with my feelings lumped

Then I just never saw that person again and I still think of her and how she saved me from my nightmares

And you think

That you leaving is hard?

Nah man, I've gotten pretty used to this thang and I'm not mad or sad

I'm not scared to blink

Because in life people come and people go like waves in the sea

Hey Girl!

You know you're my friend if you sign your name with a star

And you seal envelopes with nerd saliva

Girl, you're dang beautiful but you don't see it

Hand it to yourself, please I love you

For thinking I'm going to be famous

I miss you

Poor planning but we still should awkwardly get together I owe you a poem

We have lasted about 2 years without seeing each other

We're so weird

See, when your name pops up it makes me happy However you'll always be my buttrift

Who needs any insolent fuckboys?

This one has been stealing my poems

Do you know that you amaze me Angry Satan,

You are not afraid to talk about

A friend who's easy and eager to talk to, even about

Poo, you're used to it That one is my fault

We have lasted so long

Thank you for being here

Glee, I’ll try to write about just for you

Forever

Though I am stressed more than a rubber band about to snap

I have you beside me which

Makes me think that I am the luckiest person to live

As I lay here tonight, staring at your back

I realize that you are better

Than any dream I could have ever dreamed

So beautiful I feel like I'm ruining you

You're like a good book

And I'm the gum stuck in between your pages

I will forever be very thankful that you like me

And puzzled

I just can’t comprehend why you would like this piece of abc gum

Maybe I can’t understand because I'm dum

Even though

You would argue with me all day about that

I'm sorry that I sometimes have a habit of staring at you

Its just, goddamn girl

How did you ever fall into me, out of everyone else

I find that I feel so fucking awesome

When my hand is in yours

Whatever mistakes I made that lead me to you I would make over and over again

If it meant that we’d be together

Wherever and

Forever

Brother

Dear brother,

Where did you go?

You used to wave at me when I was in the hallway

You used to wave at me when you sat in the gym because I had no friends

But you were there on the bleachers reading

I still wonder in amazement; how did you get your teacher to let you do that?

You used to save me from a teacher who needed to retire

You used to save me before bus 19 left so I'd get on the right one

Do you remember when you'd make me laugh by pretending you were in the circus?

You'd walk on old alcohol barrels,

That were once red, now pink and faded by the sun

Then you went off to college and started a new chapter

I'm sorry I put grass in the pool,

When you told me to stop

I'm sorry I threw a plastic beach basket at your face,

And caused you to get a nose bleed

I'm sorry I screamed at you while I was drawing a picture

You are really good at pushing my big red button that specifically says DO NOT PUSH!

Why must you be a programmer that finds my buttons and knows how to easily access my control panel?

I'm sorry I didn't and couldn’t give you the space you wanted to reach the planets

I'm sorry I kicked and screamed at your closed door

I just wanted to build a snowman

And have fun

I missed you then and I miss you now

Oh Brother, what shall I do?

You know that pathetic hug I gave you?

That's because sometimes I think you don't care about me

I sometimes think when you're in San Francisco California you never think of me

Of how we'd joke we'd run away to Californ-i-a

Inside

The past is the past

It may not have been the best

Let’s just leave it at that

But soon I'll be free from this wrecked nest

Right now it's not fun

It's those memories

I should hurry up, get over it and be done

Families that feel like enemies

The stares that pierce through you

They judge

But they don't have a clue

Their stubborn heads won't budge

I now look forward, so don't make me look back

I will be better someday

I won the treasure by slapping the jack

I didn't mean it like that way

No one to trust

No one to hold and clutch

Heat full of tumble weeds and dust

Not even a love touch

I was invisible

They didn't care

But anything is live-able

So I built my own lair

They didn't pay attention either

Suck it up and deal

Never got a breather

No one cares how I really feel

Say that you love me then break me like a china plate

Why did you make me sit on a towel?

Well now you're too late

Never had good bowels

Always felt out of place

I'm sorry but some things can't be forgiven

After things happened I don't feel safe

But I'm going to keep on live'n

Always felt different and weird

In a bad way

I tried to make all of it disappear

Nobody I wanted ever stayed

Tears roll'n down my cheek

They hit the floor like glass

The feelings that are deep down are antique

It can happen that fast

I've learned how to turn myself into a rock

Always picking up my own head

It causes me to have writers block

While people eat the meat, I don't whine and take the bread

No one cared if my head drooped down

I was forced to walk alone

They ignored me when one my face there was a frown

That's when my heart turned to stone

Society

We don’t realize that we are the forest,

Not a tree

A nest of dripping honey

Not a bee

We don’t realize that we are the ocean

Not a drop

We don’t realize that we are the mountain

Not just the mountain top

We don’t realize that we are a band or an orchestra

Not a single instrument standing out alone

We are a skeletal system

Not a bone

We are a class

Not a single student

A mass

Not volume or weight

We are an entire troop

Not a soldier

The whole soup

Not the noodles

We are society

You are bigger than you think

Yes there is a big human variety,

But without you to fill the small hole, the waters would come flooding in and we would all sink

Blue Jay

She comes up to me just because I was alone

Little did she know I had been texting my friend on my phone

She proceeded to ask me a simple question

While on the inside I died and didn’t let out a groan

I was so anxious I almost pissed

What she said I almost missed

She caught me off guard

As I almost failed to answer in my panic she tsked

Why do I get singled out?

I'm not the kind who will pout

I felt like running to guidance

Is it that clear that I don’t belong here?; I have to stop the self doubt

Please stop asking me if this is where I belong because I’ll fucking leave school if you want

My existence alone seems to cause you so much trouble, when all I'm doing is reading my font

I'm minding my business so you should mind yours

Then again you don’t seem to mind just like my uncle and aunt

I wanted to run

With her I'm am so done

She’s an intrusive judge of society

She reminds me of the days my face would feel as hot as the sun

I wanted to fly

But I was stuck under her painful stare and I sure did die

Her voice seemed to flow in a different language

If only I had the life of a newspaper and a house fly

I dreamed of running, running, flying like a blue jay

A little bird is trying to keep me happy without any delay

I feel horrible about being more of a bee

He deserves more of a girlfriend who is in class A

I'm all anxious and my life sucks

I'm trying to stop giving any fucks

I do love how he said something I have always been thinking about this place

You really don’t fall in love the same way twice; so I don’t know, shucks

It’s entirely my fault

That my life has been at a halt

You're going to have so much fun with my stubbornness and my awkwardness

I love how I can’t tell who’s the ocean and who’s the salt

Her Seasons

I love her so much

I miss her so much

That I have started to see her in not just people

But the seasons

In winter is her snow white skin

And her dark hair like the silhouettes of bare trees

She can speak of darkness

But her brightness shows such innocence

The contrast of black and white

Makes her seem like an Oreo that I would enjoy eating

Fall is her softness like fuzzy blankets and pumpkin spice

And mellow colorful leaves soaring from branches

Spring is the liveliness in her bright eyes

It is hope for things to come

She smells like the best kind of flower

Without her I have no power

Summer is her hotness

And her little black summer dress

For now the sun is going down

I don’t want this to ever end

But I will have to live another day, week, month, year

Without Mother Nature’s seasons

A Walk To The Park

Leaves and stones 

Leaves and stones

Leave me alone

Weeds and side walks

Weeds and side walks

I don't want to talk

Sky and trees

Sky and trees

Where are the bees?

Lines and tar

Lines and tar

I'm feeling less than par

Swings and slides

Swings and slides

Up and down like life's tides

Woods and lampposts

Woods and lampposts

I'm starting to turn back into a ghost

Coolness and bare branches

Coolness and bare branches

Trees losing leaves like I'm losing my chances...

The fire is lit

The fire is lit

And I can't help it