the-chicken-or-the-banana

Latest Posts by the-chicken-or-the-banana

i feel like neil is the type to make the most horrendous food combinations known to humanity that actually turn out to be good? like he's used to living off of scraps so he'll find leftovers or random snacks around the dorm and make absolutly monstrous mixtures

andrew and kevin refuse to touch them at first but matt's always there for his buddy, so he'll try it, cry to dan about how good it is, she'll eat it, and then eventually everyone jumps on the bandwagon. one day neil wakes up in the middle of the night and finds andrew and kevin sitting on the kitchen counter scarfing down his newest concoction with way too much gusto for people who claimed they'd never touch his shit food (but they'll deny it if you ask)

just thinking about how the foxes were probably studying for midterms while fighting the literal mafia

Classmate: hey Aaron, did you finish the study guide for chemistry?

Aaron: no sorry my teammate was almost tortured to death and I was locked in a room by the FBI

Every time I read your url I chuckle. I absolutely love it.

sjdhfsjd it's an inside joke with a friend from literal years ago. i literally don't even remember the context of it but it always makes me lol too

so i'm going to be taking my last! ever! ap! test! in like 2 hours and i figured we might as well do part two of these studying hcs from last year. for tradition

andrew refuses to sit straight.

he'll be falling halfway off the couch with his book practically pressed to his nose or lying on their kitchen counter listening to a podcast or fully starfished on the floor reciting facts outloud — basically anything he can do to stay out of a chair

neil however knows he won't do shit if he's not in a chair and forced to study

buuuut he also is super hyperactive and sitting around and staring at a book is ineffective for him too

the solution? he bought himself a spinny chair, and whenever he wants to move around or feels himself getting distracted he justs... spins around in the chair for a few minutes

(the first time kevin walked in on him doing this, he was so confused he just backed out of the room)

andrew uses post-it notes religously

it's not even to remember or note stuff, he just likes adding commentary (he especially enjoys making crude remarks towards aaron's anatomy diagrams)

neil hoards notebooks like you wouldn't believe. he never uses them and yet every semester, he's forced to buy more. where do they go? nobody knows

both of them love using whiteboards. in the lounge area on their floor, every board is constantly filled with calculus theorems and obscure laws

they also write each other notes on the boards ("andrew i like your arms" "shut up josten") but they're always hidden within their work on the whiteboard so no one ever notices them

andrew doesn't give a shit what the weather is — if he's studying he will always have one specific blanket over him

he might be sweating, he might be freezing, but that blanket never moves or changes. the one time kevin tried to take it off to clean up their dorm, andrew fully kicked him at him until he walked away

whenever they both need a brain break but still want to be productive, they like making puzzles together. during finals and midterms, the two of them are always found at odd hours with textbooks next to them while they work on a 1,000 piece puzzle

(neil tried convincing andrew to get an exy puzzle. it didn't work)

for the aesthetic (and irony) andrew always has cans of Monster energy drinks at his desk. they just keep multiplying, until at the end of each semester, he builds a pyramid of the monster cans and topples it over by chucking his textbooks at it

he claims it's stress relief. neil just likes throwing textbooks

they decide to take one elective class together and instantly regret it

neither of them were able to pay attention in class with the other right there and then they never did their work because they (stupidly) "studied" for that class together and then they were constantly late because they walked to it together and consequently got slightly distracted every time

so overall, it was not a success. but neil still considers it his favorite class from all of college, just because of how fun the memories associated with it were

(andrew secretly thinks its his favorite too, but that's because of how happy neil looked every class to see andrew sitting next to him)

ok because AP tests are upon us and this is my only way of releasing all my stress, here's a short list of andreil study time hcs for your viewing pleasure

our boy andrew doesn't really have to study

neil on the other hand... actually needs to work to keep up his GPA

he's never really cared enough to study but now he has the foxes and exy and a future to lose so he might as well put in the effort to keep them

neil needs caffeine like he needs oxygen. the man cannot focus for shit without it

he'll down like three mugs of black coffee in the morning and be set for the day

andrew hates it but doesn't complain much as long as neil makes him some actually decent coffee too

(once, neil accidentally gave him the wrong mug and andrew didn't talk to him for the rest of the day)

when andrew does study or does homework, he hates studying in the library

he told nicky that it was because he's "allergic to books"

really, he just knows he'd get distracted and start reading william faulkner or jane austen instead of his textbooks

neil, however, loves the library

he can't study at all in the dorms; he needs to keep moving to new environments so he doesn't get bored by his surroundings

so neil and andrew don't study together half the time

which works out well considering the few times that they do, they tend to get more than a little... distracted

but if the library is closed or neil just doesn't have the energy to leave the dorm, he bullies andrew into helping him study instead of playing video games or reading

(neil gets a kiss for every question he gets right. andrew gets to look at a pretty guy for a few hours. it's a win-win situation)

mr. Neil draws-fox-paws-instead-of-doing-his-work Josten struggles with focusing on literally anything but exy and andrew

so he always ropes in one of the foxes as a "study-buddy" to hold him accountable while he's working

andrew and neil both like having noise-cancelling headphones on while they work, but this also means that people hold full-on conversations with them without realizing that they can't be heard

(also, because they're assholes, even when they can hear the other person, they just... don't respond.)

andrew is a pastel highlights guy. also he's weirdly possessive about his pens

neil just grabs the first mechanical pencil he sees (99% of the stationary he has isn't even his, he just found them laying around campus)

neil is also super disorganized. loose papers everywhere, he can never find anything. no matter how clean a place starts, it turns into a mess within 5 minutes of neil studying there

he also has food wrappers and crumbs everywhere because he constantly snacks while studying

andrew is surprisingly clean - he organizes everything by class and then color-codes everything (granted his memory helps so he doesn't have too many notes in the first place)

anyways, they both have their own methods of studying and it works for them

(aka andrew just vibes and neil frantically finishes all his work 3 hours before it's due)

ok yeah that's all i got right now, my brain is fried and i actually have to study now, pray for me 😔

Sometimes I literally just come on here to scroll and be an emotional gushy mess. Comfort aftg page <3

the way this is the sweetest thing ever 😭 y'all really be out here making me cry at 1 am

Okay, I know I've already sent asks (and made sure to pick the most difficult ones 😂) but this time it's the other way around. 2, 3, 11 and 17? Two of those are literally canon with Andreil 😂.

No pressure, of course!

~ Nem

ayyo these prompts are mad cute i can't thank you enough for picking them

2: interlocking pinkies

3: smiling into a kiss

11: back hugs

17: tugging on the bottom of someone's shirt

~

2.

This was getting out of hand.

The flashing lights and pulsing bass did nothing to take Andrew's eyes off of Neil. Neil, who looked unbearably attractive in a tight black shirt at the bar. Neil, who's hair looked like a beacon in the middle of Eden's.

Neil, who was currently being flirted to death with by a stranger.

Said stranger was a little too Playboy-eque for Andrew's liking. Tall, curly black hair, muscular — he was basically the reverse-Exy version of Kevin (which made the hotness increase from the negatives to embarrassingly high).

Andrew gripped his glass so tightly he thought it might break. Actually, who care if it broke? He'd get glass shards in his hand, they'd have to call an ambulance, the club would clear out, Neil would come back, and Bar Bitch would get the hell away from Neil.

Maybe he was being a tad dramatic.

Taking a deep breath, Andrew tried to relax. This was fine. Neil could handle himself, and he knew Neil wouldn't act on any offers this guy made. Besides, Neil probably didn't even realize he was being flirted with; the man was incredibly oblivious. It would be fine. He was fine.

Andrew was just about calmed down — he was still staring at Neil just to make sure nothing happened, not at all because the lights were reflecting on the glitter on his cheek or anything — when his personal demon from Hell popped up.

"Watcha looking at?" Nicky plopped next to Andrew, his voice slurred from drinks. Andrew wrenched his neck away, but Nicky beamed when he saw the original target of Andrew's gaze. "OMG, so cute! Keeping an eye on your bae. That's so fetch."

"None of those words are in the Bible," Andrew grumbled. "Also, stop trying to make fetch happen, it's not going to happen."

Nicky giggled for long enough that it was weird. "Riiiiight, but currently you're literally too gay to function. So I win."

Andrew rolled his eyes and leaned back in the booth, deciding to ignore his highly drunk cousin. Nicky barely noticed, choosing to hum a random tune as he stared into the crowd. After what felt like hours of this, Andrew finally snapped. "Nicky. Shut the hell up."

"Nooooo," Nicky whined. "I'm like a siren. I'm luring your tiny little boyfriend here."

"He is not my— wait, what?"

"See?" Nicky waved in front of himself and slapped himself in the face. "He's right there!"

Andrew was a bit embarrassed at how fast his head turned.

Sure enough, there was Neil, in all his 5'3" glory. And there — there was Bar Bitch! Following Neil!

Andrew had just about had enough.

When Neil reached close enough to place the tray of drinks on the table, Andrew hooked his fingers in his belt loops and yanked Neil into the booth next to him. Resoutly ignoring Neil's startled intake of breath and Nicky's oddly hard kick to the leg, Andrew linked his pinky with Neil and delicately placed their hands on the table.

Subtle, yet effective.

Neil blinked at him in confusion, but Andrew only had eyes for Bar Bitch. He narrowed his eyes at the tall man, tightening his grip on Neil's finger, until the bitch threw his hands up and stumbled away.

Ha. Take that, asshole.

"What was that all about?" Neil nudged him softly.

"Nothing," Andrew ground out. "Absolutely nothing."

He didn't let go of Neil's pinky the rest of the night.

~

3.

Andrew was a sucker for roof time with Neil; he couldn't deny it. What he wasn't a sucker for was Neil bringing sheets of plays and team stats during said roof time with Neil.

He tried to subtly hint to Neil that he wanted the Exy gone. He laid down on the roof, letting his hair cover the papers (Neil very gently brushed his hair away but continued reading). He placed his head on Neil's legs (Neil rubbed a calloused finger across Andrew's cheek but continued reading). He wiggled up into Neil's lap (Neil wrapped him in a warm embrace but continued reading. Even worse, Neil moved the papers into his line of sight, as if Andrew was interested).

Finally, he couldn't take it anymore. He leaned forward and snatched the papers out of Neil's hand, throwing the sheets behind them. Neil blinked in surprise at his now-empty hand before looking over at Andrew. "What's wrong, Andrew?"

"Nothing," Andrew said, despite looking obviously annoyed. At Neil's unimpressed silence, Andrew sighed. "Stop ignoring me."

Andrew could practically hear Neil's eye roll.

"Yes or no, Drew?"

Just to be contrary, Andrew huffed out, "No. You can go back to your precious Exy."

He decided to ignore Neil's grumbles that suspiciously sounded like 'drama queen.' "I wasn't ignoring you. I wasn't," Neil insisted at Andrew's glare. "I was just... focusing on Exy at the moment."

"Make a choice, Neil. Exy... or me."

Neil looked a little too panicked at that for Andrew's comfort. "Uh... "

"The fact that you actually have to think about this is very telling," Andrew scowled.

"No, wait!" Neil shook his head frantically. "I mean... Exy is what got me to stop running, but you were what got me to stay. If I have Exy, I'll also always have you, and vice versa."

Andrew jammed a very fierce elbow into Neil's gut. He relished in the misery Neil was feeling. "That was more of a love letter to Exy than me."

"Oh, is that the problem?" the junkie annoyingly perked up. "I can definitely write a love letter to you. Where should I start? You have really pretty eyes, your hair is so soft, your arms are crazy strong, you— "

"Shut. Up."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

"Fine. But you'll have to make me."

Andrew barely held back a sigh and tried to calm his treacherous heart. "What, did you become the lead in a romcom when I looked away? That was so cheesy."

Neil just shrugged. "Did it work?"

"No," Andrew scowled. "Maybe. Yes or no?"

"Yes, alwa— "

Andrew cut Neil off with a kiss (no matter how bruised his tough-guy reputation was becoming now). He could feel Neil trying to smother a soft smile against his lips, and if Andrew had any shame left in him, he would be a bit embarrassed at how fast his heart starting beating when he realized that.

Because humans unfortunately needed oxygen, Neil pulled back a few moments later but stayed close enough that Andrew could smell the minty gum he had been chewing before they came up on the roof. "See? If you weren't so damn stubborn, we could have been kissing when I first asked you."

Ignoring this logic, Andrew pulled his the junkie back in for another kiss. He wondered in Neil could feel the small upturn on Andrew's lips too.

~

11.

This was just about the worst fucking day of Kevin Day's life, and it all started the day before.

He had been up for hours, starting with Exy at sun-up and ending with Exy at sundown. Except it didn't end with Exy, because he realized humanity was incompetent and then he was forced to catch up on a History essay his groupmates were behind on (5 hours after his detailed schedule!) and then he became too invested in the ruins of Mesopotamia and then he didn't sleep on time and then he missed his pre-alarm for his actual morning alarm and then he wasn't awake enough for his actual morning alarm and then—

Well.

Point was that Kevin was simultaneously cranky, sleepy, and frantically late, which is a shitty combination for anyone but especially for a person named Kevin Day. Which is to say that his perfectionist tendencies were starting to show their negative sides.

And to add company to misery, his fucking roommates had to be the absolute worst.

Kevin stumbled out of the bathroom (and crashed into three walls but that's neither here nor there) with a sock on his arm and one eye shut to make half his face feel rested when he came across the one thing that could possibly make his morning worse. As he sluggishly walked into the kitchen to get at least 3 cups of well-needed, strong-as-shit black coffee, he saw his two roommates directly blocking his access to the coffee pot.

Andrew was fiddling with the pot handle while Neil had his arms wrapped around his back. He was practically leaning all his body weight on Andrew and whenever Andrew murmured something to him quietly, Neil would give him his "Andrew-laugh" and somehow press in even closer. To make matters even sappier, every few seconds he would kiss Andrew — on the shoulder, neck, cheek, even going as far as to bring his hands up and kiss his knuckles!

It was disgusting. Kevin had never been more horrified to have these horribly-in-love-even-though-they-won't-admit-it-yes-he's-happy-they're-together-no-he's-not-happy-he-has-to-witness-this roommates.

Andrew and Neil were fully engrossed in their weird back-hug position, fully disregarding Kevin's coffee withdrawal. Irritated that he was being ignored, Kevin let out a highly unattractive noise that was half-groan, half-shriek, causing the two most hypervigilant people he'd known to jump apart. Except that Andrew was facing the counter so his diaphragm got fully smushed against it, causing the blond to let out an "oof" and Neil had open space behind him so he flailed around until he eventually fell onto his butt on the floor with a groan.

Massaging his stomach, Andrew turned a terrifying glare towards Kevin, who was suddenly waking up enough to realize how bad of an idea this was. Kevin slowly backed away, his hands up in a placating manner.

"Don't mind me," Kevin said. "Keep hugging or whatever. I'll just... go to Matt's room and get coffee."

Stumbling out of his dorm, Kevin crashed his way into Matt, Nicky, and Aaron's room, where Nicky was sitting on the couch on his laptop.

He winced when he saw Kevin zombie-walk to the coffee machine. "Andrew and Neil sexile you?"

As the machine whirred, Kevin groaned. "Something like that. Honestly, the two of them are so affectionate in the morning, it makes me sick."

At that, Nicky's eyes widened. "They're what?! Tell me everything."

Kevin sighed. Maybe he should get a second cup of coffee going.

~

17.

Neil didn't notice the cats until Andrew pointed them out.

The two of them were on a walk walking back over the hill in front of the Fox Tower after their classes. Andrew had made it a habit to pick Neil up after his Spanish class and his own Sociology class every Thursday, and the two of them would drop their stuff off at the dorms and go out to lunch together.

It was very nice, to put it lightly.

Andrew's hand was warm where it was threaded with Neil's, swinging lightly between their bodies. The two were so close to each other that Neil could feel their shoulders brush every few steps, could practically count every faint freckle on Andrew's cheeks if he wanted to.

So he did just that.

"Staring," Andrew glared.

"Yeah," Neil said shamelessly. "You like it."

Andrew squeezed Neil's hand. It was probably more out of annoyance than adorance, but he'd take it.

"You know, in class today," Neil started, mainly so he could hear Andrew's voice when he responded. "This absolute bit— ow!"

Unexpectedly, Neil promptly fell down.

"Typical," Andrew grumbled. "He can come back alive after being tortured by a serial killer but can't walk straight."

"To be fair, it's not like you walk any straighter than me."

After an appraising moment, Andrew shrugged.

Neil finally moved himself into a sitting position while Andrew watched with sheer disappointment oozing out of him. He tied his undone shoelace and was just getting up when he felt a sharp tug on his shirt.

Neil looked at Andrew in confusion, but Andrew had his sights set on something in the distance. Naturally, instead of explaining, he began dragging Neil, who was still halfway bent-over from tying his shoe.

"Andrew!" Neil yelped. "Do you want to let me know where we're going?"

"No."

Fair enough. Neil should have expected that.

Finally, after his shoes untied yet again from the stumbling he did over the hill, Neil finally saw what had caught Andrew's attention. There was a sign advertising a nearby cat adoption, with the directions showing it to be only about 5 minutes away.

Andrew tugged on Neil's shirt again. "We're going."

Neil blinked. "We can't have pets in the dorm."

"We'll sneak them in, it's not like we've never broken the law before."

"Kevin is going to lose his shit."

"You just incentivized me even more."

Neil had to bite back a smile at that. "Fine, fine, we'll visit. But we are not adopting any animals until we can figure out the rules."

"Eh," Andrew turned around, twisting his fingers into Neil's shirt so he'd follow the blond. "I can be very convincing."

"Andrew."

"Neil."

"We are not getting a cat."

"Nah."

"You can't just— Andrew!"

When I first saw your ask prompts out of excitement I was going to ask you to write every single one them .i was like "write every single one them ,I will be your sole reader" then I calmed down

So if you can could you plz write something with 10 and 7 .if it's about andrew and neil it will be much appreciated

KSDFJH no pls this made me laugh so hard i can't-

7: squishing their cheeks

10: lifting someone up out of excitement

~

7.

Andrew could tell it was one of those days.

Normally, he wouldn't say anything if Neil told him "no" or if he didn't want to take his shirt off; Andrew felt the same sometimes. But picking at his scars, scratching his cheeks, fidgeting with his armbands — something was up.

So, he asked.

"What is with you, Josten," Andrew sat down next to him. "Acting more rabbit-y than usual."

Neil rolled his eyes and slumped into the sofa cushions. “Nothing. I’m fine.”

“What did we say about lying?”

Andrew heard a huff from Neil as he shifted to rest his nose in the crook of Andrew’s neck. “It was just — I heard some kids today talking about how I looked so much like my- like Nathan, and that it was insane that they didn’t recognize me,” Neil mumbled. “I don’t want to look like him.”

Andrew of course was fully prepared to cut a bitch when he heard that, but decided that he could commit murder after making sure that Neil was in the right headspace to hear about his stabby plans.

“You are nothing like him,” Andrew told Neil. Hopefully it was somewhat reassuring.

Neil did not look reassured. Damn.

Andrew was sure that Neil was going to say some bullshit about how he’d be “fine,” and well, he would not be responsible for the combination of the roof and gravity that would likely be soon to follow it that occurred.

So instead, Andrew took initiative.

He got up and dragged Neil to the bathroom (and yes, Andrew was very calm about the fact that they were holding hands. This was not the time to have a gay panic). He fully ignored Neil’s sputters and questions until he kicked the bathroom door open.

Andrew whirled Neil around until they were facing the mirror. (He did have to go on his toes to see over Neil’s shoulder properly but thankfully Neil was standing in front and couldn’t see Andrew).

“Andrew,” Neil blinked. “What are you doing?”

“Proving to you that you don’t look like that asshole.”

“In the bathroom— ?”

Andrew proceeded to place his arms above Neil’s shoulder and promptly squished Neil’s cheeks.

”See?” Andrew said monotonously. “I bet Nathan never had his cheeks squished.”

Neil was silent for one moment. Two. Andrew was starting to think there may have been more effective ways of improving Neil’s mood, when he saw Neil bite back a smile.

“What?” Andrew demanded. “You really do not resemble a serial killer right now.”

It was true. Neil, with his rough scars and bunched up cheeks and a reddening face from holding back a laugh, couldn’t look less like his sperm donor father.

He looked like… Neil Josten. And Andrew would be a lying homosexual if he said it wasn’t the nicest sight he’d seen.

10.

Neil's legs were beginning to go numb.

There were very few things that Neil wouldn't do for Andrew, and so when Andrew called him over to the sofa, well, Neil couldn't exactly say no! He happily abandoned his essay (that he wasn’t putting too much effort into writing anyway) and climbed into the little opening Andrew made under his blanket, fully prepared to be used as a personal heater for a few minutes.

What he didn't expect, however, was for Andrew to yank him onto his lap and bury his (cold) nose in Neil's neck. Neil smothered a smile and crossed his legs around Andrew's back, running his fingers through Andrew's hair.

That had been 20 minutes ago.

It was a cozy position, sure, but Neil didn't exactly want to fail his classes (and then get kicked off the Exy team. and then die.), so he lightly nudged Andrew's back with a socked toe.

"Andrew," Neil said, voice a bit muffled in Andrew's sweater. "Can I get off now? I have homework."

Neil received no response other than Andrew squeezing him tighter.

It was another 10 minutes until anything changed, but suddenly there was a loud beeping noise. Startled, Neil nearly fell over, but Andrew grabbed him, lifted him up, and promptly walked over to the kitchen.

"Andrew, what— " Neil sputtered in confusion as he scrambled to hold onto something. He was dropped unceremoniously as Andrew grabbed a pair of oven mitts and yanked open the oven, a sweet smell wafting in the air.

Neil stumbled back as Andrew pulled out a few trays of monster sized cookies, placing them on a rack to cool down. After finishing up, Andrew slowly turned around to face Neil.

"Cookies," he said as way of explanation.

Neil didn't know whether to laugh or groan.

"You were so excited to get your cookies out of the oven that you carried me over to the kitchen instead of just telling me to get off your lap."

"Yes."

"Andrew."

"..."

"You better be this excited to go to tonight's night practice— "

"I cannot hear you over the sound of me eating this cookie. Crunch crunch."

"Andrew!"

For the prompts - 16 and/or 23 and/or 19? (Andreil, of course)

you are in luck my friend because i'm sick of college apps so i'll just write a bit of all three !

16: "kissing knuckles"

23: "a hug that some might consider as ~too long~"

19: "peppering their face in kisses"

~

16.

So it turns out that punching a tree hurts a lot.

Neil would argue that it was worth it. Andrew seemed to disagree.

"Why," Andrew said flatly, inspecting Neil's split knuckles and glaring at him.

Neil considered — not lying, just... obscuring the truth — for a moment, but figured Andrew would see through it right away. "Technically, I did it for you."

"I do not recall ever asking you to punch a tree."

Neil huffed. "Well, you didn't but someone told me to, and I had to do it for you."

Andrew blinked slowly. "What."

Neil ran over the day's events. Honestly, it had started off pretty normal. He was walking back from a class, eager to see Andrew again, when he spotted a ball of white hiding in the arms of a student passing by it.

After staring at it for a few moments, he ran over (to a stranger!) and promptly asked if he could take a picture for his boyfriend.

The girl — Mara, she informed him — said sure, as long as he punched a tree.

Apparently, Neil explained to an increasingly annoyed Andrew, she was a Psych major doing a project on how far people were willing to go in order to act on their natural emotional response to cute animals. And of course, Neil wanted to show the furball to Andrew.

So he punched a tree. Which hurt.

"I'm fine though," Neil concluded. "I mean, it stings a bit and there's scratches everywhere and I can't really bend my fingers, but I'm fine."

Andrew huffed at him. "No."

"Here," Neil said after Andrew didn't explain further, shoving his phone towards him. "Appreciate the cat."

Andrew sighed as he looked at the picture, giving him an exasperated glance. "Junkie," he muttered, bringing Neil's hand up to plant a featherlight kiss on his injured knuckles.

Neil froze and gaped. His face felt unnaturally red. His fingers were tingling, he made a very squeaky voice, and he was probably staring a bit too much at Andrew.

"142%, idiot."

~

23.

Matthew Donovan Boyd was no fool.

Neil, though? The little guy had so little experience in the normal world, he was practically an infant (no short joke intended).

He knows that Andrew (probably) actually cares about Neil, but Matt's buddy sometimes forgets that not everyone outside of the original Foxes knows this.

This is why, as Matt casually walked with some freshman (Brian? Bradley? whatever) back from the store with bags of movie night snacks, he heard the kid's sharp intake of breath.

Matt's mother-hen instinct kicks in.

"What?" he asked frantically, dropping the bags. "Did you step on something? Did you trip? Did you see someone? Did— "

"Holy shit," Benjamin said emphatically. "Are Minyard and Josten... hugging? On the roof?"

Matt squinted at the striker. "That's what you freaked out about?"

"Look!" Bartholomew waved his hand around. "They've been hugging for at least a minute by now. I thought they hated each other?"

Wondering what he had done to deserve this, Matt ran a hand through his spiky hair. He probably shouldn't out Andrew and Neil, right? "Look kid. Toxic masculinity is not a good look."

"No, of course," Brandon bobbled his head. "Toxic masculinity is the worst. So not in style."

"... right," Matt agreed skeptically. "So, you know we all got pretty close last year—"

"Because of the murder stuff."

"Yes, the murder stuff. Anyways, hugging isn't uncommon between friends!"

"True," Benedict said slowly. "But they've been hugging for so long. More than what I would expect between just friends, if you get what I mean."

Matt ignored the weird eyebrow wiggle the freshman gave him and started picking up the dropped bags again. "That's... not really any of our business," he muttered, no matter how far in agreement he was with this young child.

There were a few moments of peaceful silence before Braxton's head jerked up.

"Oh gee. Hopefully they have socks on at least."

"What?"

"That way it's not gay! If they want it to not be gay, at least. Platonic hugs are valid though. Bad toxic masculinity! But gay people are just as valid— "

Matt let out a long-suffering groan. This was going to be a long year.

~

19.

Andrew was sick of Valentine's Day.

PDA-loving couples kissing everywhere, gooey movies playing on every channel, sappy love songs being blared on repeat by Nicky during weights — there seemed to be no positives.

He had already announced to Neil weeks earlier that he had no intention of celebrating this crass holiday, a proclamation that Neil thankfully agreed to. Instead, they took the relaxed evening after practice to be exceptionally productive: Neil went to the store and bought groceries, caught up on his homework, and took notes on two whole exy games.

Andrew took a three hour nap.

By the time Andrew groggily woke up, it was nearly 2 a.m.. Kevin was God-knows-where and he padded out of the room to find Neil staring unblinkingly at a muted TV, eyes glazed.

"Josten," Andrew grumbled and kicked him in the shin. "Get up, idiot."

Neil jerked awake with an uncharacteristic groan but begrudgingly agreed to be manhandled to the bathroom and finally to the bed so they could sleep.

Infuriatingly, Neil pointed out through a yawn that sleeping was all Andrew had done that whole evening. Andrew shut him up with a kiss and promptly flopped himself halfway on Neil's body.

Hours later, Andrew's eyes fluttered open at the light shining in through a window. He blinked a few times before registering a pair of piercing blue eyes gazing at him.

Andrew hated him. "308%, dumbass," he muttered into Neil's shoulder.

"Drama queen," Neil snorted. They lay in that position for a few minutes, Andrew moments from falling asleep again, before Neil tapped him on the arm.

"Drew, yes or no?" he asked. "Just kisses, though."

Andrew hummed a yes and leaned forward with his eyes still mostly shut, expecting to feel a pair of soft lips on his.

Instead, he felt a hand slap over his face and an oddly strong kick to his gut.

"What the fu—"

His sputtering was interrupted as hard pieces of... foil? began raining down on his face. He swatted them away, ignoring Neil's snickering. Finally, Andrew grabbed hold of one and his felt an exasperated frown cross his face.

"These," he said, waving the tiny cones in front of Neil's face. "are chocolates."

"Yup," Neil agreed proudly. "They're Kisses." At Andrew's blank look, Neil explained slowly, "I just covered your face in kisses."

"I got it."

"Great."

"I thought we agreed to not celebrate Valentine's Day."

"It's February 15 now. Not Valentine's Day."

"Neil Abram Josten."

"That's my name."

"Menace. Now give me an actual kiss, junkie."

BONUS:

"So!" Kevin clapped his hands. "You all need a lot of improvement if you want to be even close to presentable for Spring Championships, and we're already behind. We will not look like flailing monkeys in front of Jerem— USC, understood? Any questions?"

Neil raised his hand.

Kevin sighed. "Yes, Neil?"

"Just one quick thing," Neil said, rummaging his hands through his pockets. "Wanna kiss?"

The Foxes whipped their heads between an innocent Neil, a gaping Kevin, and an unconcerned Andrew.

"Is this like... a threesome thing?" Nicky whispered loudly to Matt.

"Wha— Josten, what the fuck?" Kevin's intolerable screeching promptly came to a halt as Neil chucked a silver projectile through the air, squarely hitting Kevin in the nose. "What is this?!"

"A Kiss."

"What— "

"I asked if you wanted a Kiss."

"No, you asked if I want to kiss. Which— no, by the way."

"Stop hitting on Neil, Day."

"Andrew, I literally wasn't— "

"Anyway. Wanna kiss again, Kevin?"

"NEIL!"

I was just thinking "I have so many things I would like to see written but I can't seem to write fanfics/ headcanons so I should just continue existing in misery with all these things unwritten" and then I read "my asks are always open if y'all have anything specific you want me to write !" at the end of your andreil and goodbye kisses series! That made me so happy!

aww this made my day 🥺i love getting asks from y'all and i hope i can do all your ideas justice!

hey i love your page!! can you post some renison hcs? they're just so underrated <3

ok yall know how I said that alvarez and laila were my fav lesbians? i lied, so is renison I CAN'T PICK

so renee and allison seem shockingly different at first glance — where renee is quiet, allison is brash, where renee is demure, allison is obscene

in reality? allison sobs at any animal story while renee can nod and smile through gruesome horror movies

most people outside of the foxes don't really get it, but they don't really care

what they do care about? one-upping each other. constantly.

look, canonically allison is buff as hell, that's the whole reason she was told to stop playing exy

and goalies tend to have really strong and defined arms, so renee has biceps

the two of them are constantly arm wrestling and have full on tallies and bets to keep score

bus stuck in traffic? arm wrestle. waiting for food to arrive in a restaurant? arm wrestle. players not subbing out fast enough in the middle of a game? arm. wrestle.

in their fourth year, allison impulsively asks renee to dye her hair

she dies the tips pink and purple (for the bi flag) and the two of them constantly flaunt their matching colored hair

(allison likes to gloat to andrew and neil that she and renee are the sup-queer-ior couple because they have matching gay heads)

alli and renee love playing laser tag against each other

they forget their "ooey gooey lesbian love" as nicky puts it in favor of fighting to be the first to kill the other

aaron has been trampled multiple times when renee saw allison behind him and ran him over to get her out

their favorite dates are the ones in fun, quirky places

playing pac-man in old arcades, thrift store shopping, outdoor movies

they're not basic, is what i'm getting at

neither of them are exceptional cooks (tbh most of their and dan's food comes from matt), but renee is known in the fox tower for making perfectly shaped pancakes and allison always gets her burrito-to-filling proportion perfect

they both like trying to make new desserts though

renee likes to experiment while allison is wayyy more of a picky eater

sometimes renee will randomly put in vegetables or just plain weird ingredients to trick allison (who ends up loving all these desserts but only before she finds out what they're made of. funny how that works.)

renee loves paper crafts, like paper mache, origami, etc

each year for special occasions (birthday, anniversary, holiday) allison always makes her a craft with a note written within the folds of the paper

(there is a decent amount of complaining to dan about how her nails are getting ruined. renee's smile makes it worth it, though)

on their graduation day, allison gifts renee a massive basket of all the crafts she made and they sit on their dorm floor and look through all the notes and memories they made over the years

for the requests: 24 but like,, the opposite?? do whatever you want but also have this embarrassing story of mine for free because i have LIVED this and it is HORRIBLE!! I don’t know what was going through my mind but it was my friends bday and she went to give me a fist bump but instead of returning it I just grabbed her fist with my hand (scissors beats rock style) and we both stood there in silence for a moment staring at our hands until I turned it into a sort of handshake when I just started to shake where I had her fist gripped in my own hand up and down for a solid 10 seconds

24. "confusing a handshake for a fist bump" - but the opposite lmao

minyard-josten rivalry, y'all know where it's at

so these two dumbasses keep their relationship a secret from everyone, including their managers and PR team

anyways, i imagine that there's some sort of pre-game interview happening, to create some hype for the shitshow that's going to be a minyard v josten game

the problem is... no one knows how to predict their moves

andrew's PR team tells him to be professional — maybe shake neil's hand instead of ignoring it like how he always does

neil's PR team tells him to do something more casual, to reduce the animosity he's such a natural at creating

you can probably see where this is going...

so. andrew, neil, and few people from each of their teams come out in front of the cameras

the teammates + managers on the sides are just staring very intently at andrew and neil

neil sighs and shoves out his hand for a first bump with his boyfriend of very many years

andrew however. look, he hasn't seen neil in weeks and he the cats miss him and give andrew lots of sad meows and really seeing neil is a relief so his children not his children, his CATS, can stop being so upset

basically, he has a bit of a gay panic while looking at neil — the shape of his face, his eyes, his hair (good lord, that needed to be cut three years ago)

and so when neil puts out his hand in greeting, andrew really can't be blamed for being distracted!

he slams his fingers into neil's fist.

they stare at each other for a few moments as the only sound is cameras flashing. slowly, andrew curls his fingers just as neil straightens out his fist bump.

neil's hand now gets stuck in andrew's fist.

andrew blinks at their joined hands, promptly lets go of neil's fingers, and turns around to walk away. his teammates try to grab onto him to bring him back but like honestly most of them are laughing too hard to do anything

so the game continues as usual (with a little bit of teasing towards neil and andrew by their teammates)

and at the end of the game during the handshakes, one of the announcers says "minyard! josten! maybe figure out if it's handshake or fist bump beforehand this time!"

andrew internally flips off the cameras

(it's only not external because he knows aaron's kids are watching the game tonight and he is determined to be the more mature uncle out of him and neil)

so instead of making a fool of himself again, andrew decides to just nod at neil and walk away

no sooner than a second later though, he feels a bonk on his head. neil just bonked him. on the head. in front of millions of people.

he has to salvage his reputation so he puts his hands up in a threatening gesture and says something menacingly, but no one in the audience can hear what he says

all they see is andrew looking scary and neil... doubled over laughing

instantly, there are whispers going around the stadium about what happened, so neil's coach is like 'nah we aren't letting this kid do the pre and post-game interviews' — andrew had accounted for this in his attempt to rebuild his persona

so they try to sneak neil out the back, but what andrew hadn't accounted for was a sneaky reporter who catches sight of neil and asks loudly "what was andrew minyard saying to you on the court?"

neil smirks and draws up to his full height (which frankly, is still tiny enough for andrew to give kisses without too much strain. it was the ideal height gap, if anyone asked him. not that anyone was asking him this)

"well," neil said. "he said rock" — neil makes a fist bump — "paper" — he extends an arm out for a handshake — "and then... " — neil makes a scissor symbol — "snip snip motherfucker. we're cutting your hair when we get home."

"wait, you two live together— "

hey uh— never done something like this before but send me a number and i'll... do something with it? (lmao there's a 99% chance that this will all be andreil but that's fineeee)

physical affection prompts!

pats on the head

interlocking pinkies

smiling into a kiss

a hug after not seeing someone for a long time

giggly cuddles

chasing someone’s lips after they pull away

squishing their cheeks

brushing hands by accident

wiping away someone’s tears

lifting someone up out of excitement

back hugs

an incredibly loud and painful high-five

kissing someone’s forehead

play wrestling

the biggest, warmest hugs

kissing knuckles

tugging on the bottom of someone’s shirt

wiping away food from someone’s lips

peppering their face in kisses

chest bump

accidentally knocking your head into someone’s chin

kissing someone’s cuts/bruises/scratches

a hug that some might consider as ~too long~

confusing a handshake for a fist bump

playfully biting someone

bonus: touching feet and immediately screaming and recoiling

So I am once again reading through the extra content like one does and I found a little thing that send me to my knees okay

I’m reading about Abby and Wymack and how they move in together and how they’re just in love and stuff

And it says Abby makes him stop smoking because she doesn’t want the smell in her house

Andrew finds out when he visits Neil in his fifth year and he pulls out a cigarette to smoke, but Coach takes it, breaks it and throws it on the ground, super grumpy about it because he can’t smoke

After Neil explains it Andrew just takes one look at Wymack and states “Abby’s doing”

All of this is all good and fun right, however it’s the next part of it that kills me

“If Neil told me to stop smoking, I’d kick him out.”

However small that is, it just made me all tingly?

I honestly think that that’s one of most obvious times Andrew acknowledge that him and Neil are really together

He normally does it in very subtle, private ways and especially not in conversations with others

He actually refuses to mention Neil to others at all

Which also brings me to the next thing that makes me very happy

He casually says this joke about him and his partner’s relationship out loud, to someone that isn’t Neil himself, and not it private, but to Wymack

That is an insane amount of trust for Andrew to put in Wymack with such a little comment and that is another relation we brush over so much in the fandom

Damn man just… I love this line???

That’s also his immediate response to find out that Wymack and Abby are together and that she made him quit smoking

He just compared himself and Neil to Wymack and Abby

He also used Neil’s name in a way that isn’t condescending or mean spirited, which is also pretty rare for him at least in the books

Anyways I might be reading into it too much, but I just thought it was such a nice little comment with more meaning to it than you’d think

as a former soccer goalie, here are some very specific things andrew minyard does while playing exy

he has crazy good aim. that cone drill kevin and neil keep doing? andrew's an icon at that

he's gotta hit the balls directly at the strikers (or whoever else needs the ball) from a static position so his aim is probably better and stronger than most people on the team

andrew's literally shit at cardio. man literally doesn't run aside from normal conditioning (and chasing after neil) plus he smokes so his lungs do be constantly dying

also, i feel like people really underestimate how boring being in goal can be

like if the ball's not near you, there is nothing. to. do.

honestly, he probably just puts his racquet down or straight up sits on the floor when the action is on the other end of the court

(this is coming from someone who literally left the field for a few minutes because she had nothing to do)

another thing: the man can jump.

like, put him on a trampoline (not that he'd ever do that lol) and he'll fly above everyone else, no matter his fear of heights

especially because he's so short compared to the goal, he's gotta stretch in every direction to be able to reach the ball

he's mad flexible, is what i'm getting at

penalty shots are his worst enemy

idc how good of a goalie he usually is, most of the catches/blocks he makes are pure luck

and like. his height doesn't help with this at all

most of the sweating he does comes from his extra armor rather than the game itself

again. goalies literally don't move most of the time. for the longest time, nicky just thinks that andrew has some kind of magic deodorant he isn't sharing with the rest of them

(there have been more than a few raids into andrew's toiletries looking for it)

i literally used to get those misty fan water bottle things bc everyone else had one and it looked cool, not because i was ever tired after games lol

he likes interlocking his fingers to see how obtrusive the goalie gloves are

idk it's a thing that all goalies i know do, for absolutely no reason. it do be fun though

goalies have to do a lot of agility and reflexive drills. one of these is kinda like quickly running in place and jumping/rolling to the side to catch a ball someone throws at you

i'm just imagining andrew doing this bc it looks so. funny.

like the person doing the drill looks like some spider on drugs with how fast their feet are moving

(also it makes lots of goalies pretty good at dancing/stuff that requires lots of feet coordination. i'm not saying... but i'm kinda saying, if you get what i mean)

this isn't during exy, but sometimes catching things is so reflexive

once i caught a glass full of water before it shattered on a restaurant floor, and i imagine andrew does shit like that too

but the difference is that he gets so annoyed whenever it happens

being unintentionally helpful is andrew's least favorite thing (but neil finds it so goddamn funny)

sometimes neil randomly drops things near andrew just to watch him get annoyed at his reflexes

(also, i'm just imagining the foxes randomly throwing things at andrew. he's stuck between two situations: catch things and have the foxes laugh at him or let things hit him in the face and have the foxes laugh at him)

i am CACKLING imagining this

can i just say that neil, having been on the run, would be so good at hiding from the paparazzi.

like, this is why no one finds out that he and andrew are together for so long; he just parkours away from reporters and photographers and leaves andrew to deal with them (aka stare them down)

sjfdhlwk i saw a little kid today and she was copying everything i was doing so i did the two-fingered salute thing at her and she did it back to me! it was the single cutest thing ever

now i can't get the image of andrew doing these salutes with aaron's young kids out of my head. and like. aaron wants to be annoyed because what the hell are you teaching my children, andrew but at the same time their chubby fingers trying to do a salute back to a full grown man is just adorable

can i just say that neil, having been on the run, would be so good at hiding from the paparazzi.

like, this is why no one finds out that he and andrew are together for so long; he just parkours away from reporters and photographers and leaves andrew to deal with them (aka stare them down)

i feel like whenever neil gets a new hoodie, andrew's shoulders always stretch it out so much. like, neil loves seeing andrew in his clothes at first until he has to keep buying more and more shirts and hoodies because they don't fit him anymore.

they end up having so. many. hoodies just scattered around their house, and it's a constant silent battle over who can stake their claim on the hoodie first

Neil: I have a new hoodie.

Andrew: Ahem. WE have a new hoodie.

this is. yes. fuck. 100%. (also can i just say, those tags were brilliant, sad college student content is exactly what this fandom is lacking ty for blessing us with some friend)

i just really want to know how all the students at psu reacted to finding out about neil's past. like i'm just imagining some poor college freshman working on a project with neil and not pulling their weight and then they find out that their groupmate is actually the son of the mob boss.

and they just... slowly start doing their part so they don't get a murderer sicced on them

i just really want to know how all the students at psu reacted to finding out about neil's past. like i'm just imagining some poor college freshman working on a project with neil and not pulling their weight and then they find out that their groupmate is actually the son of the mob boss.

and they just... slowly start doing their part so they don't get a murderer sicced on them

neil: "so please, please, just shut the fuck up and leave us alone"

grape: goes bonk on riko's head

the Riko Roast but Neil is eating fruit as he's delivering it so the whole time he's just casually brandishing his fork with a piece of watermelon on it as he gestures

look this has no right being so accurate but i— the cucumber thing, i just had to expand on that

it comes to light in an interview with two other teammates

it’s supposed to be one of those chill “get to know about this celebrity” ones, so it’s more personal and less exy-oriented

so these athletes are reading tweets with questions that fans wanted to ask them

and one of them is “andrew, what are your three biggest fears?”

andrew: i fear nothing. you should fear me

his teammate: ok drama queen just answer the damn question

andrew pauses for a moment (for the dramatics of course)

“heights. bugs. cucumbers.”

“cucumbers??”

anyways, andrew doesn’t explain this answer any further and when the video drops, everyone is very confused

fans are tweeting and asking for answers

every comment section on instagram is full of questions

post-game interviews are buzzing with inquires about this very strange fear

and then one day, the internet finally solves the mystery

the video circulates around social media for days, with everyone cooing over it

there's a little kid, maybe 5 or 6 years old, with a Minyard jersey on who meets andrew in the streets and asks for a picture

(andrew, being an absolute kid-lover, complies)

so the kid puts her arms out demanding to be picked up, and while she's in andrew's arms, politely asks "mr. minyard, why are you afraid of cucumbers?"

andrew, very seriously, replies "too many shades of green. they're dark. medium. light. it's very disturbing"

the video ends with andrew ruffling the kid's hair and her running off camera

after the initial cuteness, people realize how absolutely hilarious it is that scary, buff andrew minyard is scared of cucumbers because of how colorful they are

and so it starts

at meet and greets, fans present him with cucumbers

people tweet cucumber pictures and facts to him

edits are made with andrew and cucumbers

his pr box is full of custom shirts with cucumbers on them to "brighten up his wardrobe"

numerous compilations are made about andrew's reactions to these cucumber gifts

one person even writes a multi-chapter andrew x cucumber enemies to lovers slow-burn

(one of the foxes (aka nicky) prints this whole thing out and gifts it to him for his birthday)

finally, finally, a 32 second video entitled "andrew minyard EATS A CUCUMBER ." gets uploaded on youtube on the account "jorts"

it's super grainy, vertical, and the camera is constantly shaking as the person filming laughs

but it appears to show andrew at his kitchen dunking a cucumber into a flute of champagne at 3 am

the video gets millions of views

nobody knows who's behind the account, but every few months it posts an absolutely feral video of andrew that just crashes the internet

(spoiler alert: it's all thanks to neil)

Andrew is like a cat

You can’t back him into a corner

You can’t touch without permission

Must feed him to earn his love/respect

Will fight you at any moment without warning

Stabby bits sticking out from his hands

Will get scared if you surprise him with a cucumber

Can nap anywhere at anytime

Will judge literally everything you do, but say nothing

Small

Would jump out a window to escape a situation

Thinks you’re stupid

Would probably give you a dead animal… for various reasons

Prefers cats over people

reporter: ...right, but what do you do with the racquet?

andrew: hit

reporter: how do you keep the ball out of the goal during games it’s incredible

andrew: racquet

okay, maybe it's hard to know if you're not from the area, but andrew and aaron literally grew up so close to each other. like oakland (where andrew was) and san jose (where aaron was) are literally 40 minutes apart

i mean these are obvs two HUGE cities in the bay area, but the twins probably felt even more shitty when they realized that despite close together they grew up, they still couldn't have a childhood with one another

Hii!! I really love your blog, thank you so much for your content!! I'm new to the fandom, may I ask where to read the post-canon stuff? Like Andreil adopting cats and Aaron being pre-med....

hi friend welcome to the shitshow that is the aftg fandom 😂 a lot of the extra content can be found here (i think there's some more recent commentary? on aftg here but most of it is the same and the first one is really well formatted)

OK UPDATE (for the mental state of me and @soulsupply): apparently there are 38! states in the US with no safeways, and south carolina has exactly 1. ONE SAFEWAY. which is permanently closed with a 1 star review and disowned by safeway. so. we are going to pretend that it doesn't exist for the sake of this hc

an incomplete list of northern-californian andrew minyard shenanigans

he gets pissed if anyone asks him if he can surf

the beaches are cold and rocky and gross, no one wants to learn surfing up here

he's totally used to weird weather (a 90° day can have a 50° night) but he absolutely cannot stand extreme temperatures

anything above 100° is reason to riot, and anything below a 40-50° is a good excuse to stay under blankets the whole day

hot days are more common in the bay area than hail, and there's never any snow, so moving to south carolina was a slap in the face

"nicky, do i need more warm clothes or more summer clothes?"

"both, andrew. both."

"why do you not have normal weather systems? just pick one"

andrew literally always carries a jacket with him out of habit

in the south, weather can fluctuate every few days, whereas in california, the weather literally changes every hour and there's almost always a breeze in the bay area

it takes him a long time to realize that hot days in the south just... stay hot. no need for a jacket.

(he still usually has one on hand though. never hurts to be prepared)

san francisco is so. goddamn. boring.

he might not have been there very often as a foster kid, but living like 20 minutes away from it in oakland makes the city really lose its novelty

(also the sfo and oakland rivalry can get very passionate at times. he was just always destined to dislike san francisco)

unironically uses the word "hella." he didn't realize it was a californian thing until it accidentally slipped out in front of the foxes and he got some very confused (and gleeful) stares

andrew calls the two main parts of california "norcal" and "socal" (for northern california and southern california). he cannot for the life of him understand why everyone else is so confused

he has a sort of inherent dislike for socal. he may have literally never been there but... the vibes. he just can't stand them

(andrew refers to socal as "fake california" in his head, as many norcal people do)

honestly, he's a pretty environmental person (aside from the smoking). you really can't live in the bay area without being overly conscious about recycling and sustainability

(he'll constantly bully kevin into separating trash, recyclables, and compostables. kevin never had to do that in the nest but andrew? he's very particular about this.

"kevin. how can you say you're healthy when you're making the planet unhealthy?"

"it's really not that big of a deal—" "it is. shut up and recycle.")

andrew absolutely detests the "sunny, warm, beach" stereotype of california, seeing how inaccurate it is for most of the state

neil likes to joke that jeremy and andrew represent the two extremes of california — sunny and bright vs cold and cloudy

andrew does not find this funny

(okay, maybe a little)

the biggest shock he ever faced was that safeway (a grocery store) wasn't a nationwide chain

apparently it's just a california thing

"aaron, if tilda's not going to buy groceries, we will just go to safeway ourselves"

"andrew. there are no safeways here."

"... what"

"i was shocked too"

(it ends up being the first thing the twins bond over when they officially meet)

w h a t. i was literally told like last week that it was only a california thing someone else in the us pls tell us what's going on bc i am CONFUSED 😭

an incomplete list of northern-californian andrew minyard shenanigans

he gets pissed if anyone asks him if he can surf

the beaches are cold and rocky and gross, no one wants to learn surfing up here

he's totally used to weird weather (a 90° day can have a 50° night) but he absolutely cannot stand extreme temperatures

anything above 100° is reason to riot, and anything below a 40-50° is a good excuse to stay under blankets the whole day

hot days are more common in the bay area than hail, and there's never any snow, so moving to south carolina was a slap in the face

"nicky, do i need more warm clothes or more summer clothes?"

"both, andrew. both."

"why do you not have normal weather systems? just pick one"

andrew literally always carries a jacket with him out of habit

in the south, weather can fluctuate every few days, whereas in california, the weather literally changes every hour and there's almost always a breeze in the bay area

it takes him a long time to realize that hot days in the south just... stay hot. no need for a jacket.

(he still usually has one on hand though. never hurts to be prepared)

san francisco is so. goddamn. boring.

he might not have been there very often as a foster kid, but living like 20 minutes away from it in oakland makes the city really lose its novelty

(also the sfo and oakland rivalry can get very passionate at times. he was just always destined to dislike san francisco)

unironically uses the word "hella." he didn't realize it was a californian thing until it accidentally slipped out in front of the foxes and he got some very confused (and gleeful) stares

andrew calls the two main parts of california "norcal" and "socal" (for northern california and southern california). he cannot for the life of him understand why everyone else is so confused

he has a sort of inherent dislike for socal. he may have literally never been there but... the vibes. he just can't stand them

(andrew refers to socal as "fake california" in his head, as many norcal people do)

honestly, he's a pretty environmental person (aside from the smoking). you really can't live in the bay area without being overly conscious about recycling and sustainability

(he'll constantly bully kevin into separating trash, recyclables, and compostables. kevin never had to do that in the nest but andrew? he's very particular about this.

"kevin. how can you say you're healthy when you're making the planet unhealthy?"

"it's really not that big of a deal—" "it is. shut up and recycle.")

andrew absolutely detests the "sunny, warm, beach" stereotype of california, seeing how inaccurate it is for most of the state

neil likes to joke that jeremy and andrew represent the two extremes of california — sunny and bright vs cold and cloudy

andrew does not find this funny

(okay, maybe a little)

the biggest shock he ever faced was that safeway (a grocery store) wasn't a nationwide chain

apparently it's just a california thing

"aaron, if tilda's not going to buy groceries, we will just go to safeway ourselves"

"andrew. there are no safeways here."

"... what"

"i was shocked too"

(it ends up being the first thing the twins bond over when they officially meet)

an incomplete list of northern-californian andrew minyard shenanigans

he gets pissed if anyone asks him if he can surf

the beaches are cold and rocky and gross, no one wants to learn surfing up here

he's totally used to weird weather (a 90° day can have a 50° night) but he absolutely cannot stand extreme temperatures

anything above 100° is reason to riot, and anything below a 40-50° is a good excuse to stay under blankets the whole day

hot days are more common in the bay area than hail, and there's never any snow, so moving to south carolina was a slap in the face

"nicky, do i need more warm clothes or more summer clothes?"

"both, andrew. both."

"why do you not have normal weather systems? just pick one"

andrew literally always carries a jacket with him out of habit

in the south, weather can fluctuate every few days, whereas in california, the weather literally changes every hour and there's almost always a breeze in the bay area

it takes him a long time to realize that hot days in the south just... stay hot. no need for a jacket.

(he still usually has one on hand though. never hurts to be prepared)

san francisco is so. goddamn. boring.

he might not have been there very often as a foster kid, but living like 20 minutes away from it in oakland makes the city really lose its novelty

(also the sfo and oakland rivalry can get very passionate at times. he was just always destined to dislike san francisco)

unironically uses the word "hella." he didn't realize it was a californian thing until it accidentally slipped out in front of the foxes and he got some very confused (and gleeful) stares

andrew calls the two main parts of california "norcal" and "socal" (for northern california and southern california). he cannot for the life of him understand why everyone else is so confused

he has a sort of inherent dislike for socal. he may have literally never been there but... the vibes. he just can't stand them

(andrew refers to socal as "fake california" in his head, as many norcal people do)

honestly, he's a pretty environmental person (aside from the smoking). you really can't live in the bay area without being overly conscious about recycling and sustainability

(he'll constantly bully kevin into separating trash, recyclables, and compostables. kevin never had to do that in the nest but andrew? he's very particular about this.

"kevin. how can you say you're healthy when you're making the planet unhealthy?"

"it's really not that big of a deal—" "it is. shut up and recycle.")

andrew absolutely detests the "sunny, warm, beach" stereotype of california, seeing how inaccurate it is for most of the state

neil likes to joke that jeremy and andrew represent the two extremes of california — sunny and bright vs cold and cloudy

andrew does not find this funny

(okay, maybe a little)

the biggest shock he ever faced was that safeway (a grocery store) wasn't a nationwide chain

apparently it's just a california thing (update: maybe a pacific coast thing?? idek)

"aaron, if tilda's not going to buy groceries, we will just go to safeway ourselves"

"andrew. there are no safeways here."

"... what"

"i was shocked too"

(it ends up being the first thing the twins bond over when they officially meet)

Hi! There's a headcannon that has been circulating that I never saw fully written, and I love how you characterize the foxes! Basically, Andrew living the setbacks of being short (either privately or publicly), getting frustrated, and Neil comforting him

THIS IS SO FUNNY SKDJFHK also i have always wanted to write a 5+1 so tyvm for this (again, this ended up so goddamn long but. what else is new.)

read "shortcomings (honestly, fuck you tilda)" on ao3 hereeeee

———

1.

Andrew gripped the edges of the counter. Deep breath in. Deep breath out. Eye on the prize.

He squinted at the offensively orange mixing bowl that Kevin had placed far too high on the shelf earlier that day. He had planned on baking cookies (for no reason other than that he was bored), and that bowl was his lucky one: every baked good he made using it always rose perfectly.

Andrew had tried everything — stretching as far as he could, trying to move things with his mind, even going as far as going on his toes (after a cursory glance that no one was around).

He eyed the step-stool on the other side of the kitchen. He could always use that and put it back and no one would be the wiser. But no. Andrew was a fully capable adult with a reputation to uphold and he would get that bowl down by himself, dammit.

Andrew had been through hell and back, and then some. He would not be bested by cabinetry.

He rubbed his hands against his shirt before placing them back on the counter and took a running crouch. Andrew bounced lightly on his toes, mentally counted to three, and leapt up, hand reaching forward to grip at the bowl.

For one glorious moment, it really seemed like it would work.

Then the counter whacked Andrew in the gut, he smacked his head against the cabinet, and he slowly slid down to the floor, no bowl in hand.

Hmm. That wasn't supposed to happen.

He jerked his head up to glare at the stupid bowl and promptly felt extremely dizzy, slipping even further until he was collapsed entirely on the floor, limbs splayed.

That wasn't supposed to happen either.

Oh well. If he couldn't ruin his health with cookies, he might as well do it by laying on the most unhygienic piece of property he had ever seen. He supposed this was an acceptable way to go.

Andrew lay there on the dorm floor for a solid 15 minutes, willing the bowl to come down, until he heard the dorm room unlock and the sound of Neil's quiet humming filled the room. He didn't have the energy to get up though, so he flopped his legs around as Neil passed the kitchen to catch his attention.

"Oh, hey Drew," Neil shuffled further into the dorm after giving Andrew a quick glance and smile. A few seconds later, the humming stopped and Andrew saw the outline of Neil's body slowly move back into the kitchen doorway. "Um. Can I ask why you're starfished on the floor?"

Andrew sluggishly pointed upwards. "Bowl. High. Jumped. Fell."

Neil nodded knowingly. Andrew stared at him purposefully. Neil blinked.

Idiot.

"Get it for me," Andrew scowled with a well-aimed kick at Neil's ankles. Neil's eyes widened before filling with mirth. He walked forward and sat down next to Andrew's side, running a hand through his blond hair. Andrew hated himself for leaning into the touch.

"Aww, what's wrong?" Neil cooed. "Can't reach it?"

What a fucking asshole.

Andrew shot Neil a glare — he could admit that it probably wasn't super effective considering that he was on the floor with his not-boyfriend carding his fingers through his hair, but it was the thought that counted, okay! — and Neil gave him an amused look before pushing himself off the ground.

He shuffled around Andrew's limp body before giving an exasperated sigh.

"Andrew."

"Junkie."

"There is a stepstool right here."

"Yes."

"You didn't use it."

"No."

"... Why?"

Andrew shrugged in response.

He heard Neil grumbling under his breath and, a few seconds later, was rewarded with Neil's gross socks in front of his face as he went on the tips of his toes to grab at the bowl. Andrew glanced up and noticed that Neil's shorts were delightfully loose around his thighs.

Nice.

He indulged himself in the view until Neil dropped back down on the balls of his feet, holding the bowl proudly.

"Got it!" he grinned down at Andrew and flopped back down on the floor, pulling Andrew into a sitting position. Neil pressed up against him after a quick 'yes or no?' and handed over the bowl so Andrew.

"That was not fair," Andrew grumbled after a few minutes of calm silence. "You did that so easily. You're barely taller than me."

Neil nudged his shoulder and planted a kiss to the side of his head. "It's okay," he gave an annoyingly soft look. "I'll always be there to help you, whenever you need it."

Andrew huffed. "I did not ask for sentimentality, Josten. Just a bowl."

Irritatingly, this caused Neil to laugh a bit. "Okay, okay, I'll leave you with your precious bowl." He moved to get up and pressed a chaste kiss to Andrew's lips. "But for what it's worth, I think your size is perfect."

He left Andrew missing the warmth of Neil's body beside him before his brain caught up to what Neil just said.

"Josten. Josten! Was that a fucking dick joke?"

2.

There were moments where Andrew desperately wanted to burn Neil's clothing. He understood that they were remnants of past habits that were hard to break, but surely having this many gray and brown shirts had to be criminal.

Andrew refused to be seen kissing such a heathen in public but he really only knew how to put Neil in hot club clothes rather than hot casual clothes. And so, for the sake of humanity (and his dignity), he swallowed his pride and met up with Allison Fucking Reynolds.

Their plan to snatch up Neil from the Exy court to take him shopping at the mall appeared to be going well. So far, they'd bought him some shirts, artfully ripped jeans, denim jackets, and an actually functional pair of shoes. Neil, for all his stamina, looked like he was about to collapse from the weight of the bags, so Allison and Andrew took pity on him and decided to take a lunch break.

The three of them reached the food court and made their way to a noodle shop (after Andrew extracted a promise that he could get some ice cream afterwards). He and Allison sat Neil down on a bench to guard their massive pile of bags before going up to order.

By the time they were at the front of the line, Andrew was fully prepared to stab Reynolds in the middle of the mall. In a span of five minutes, she had managed to ask him about his and Neil's sex life, when they got together, what Neil's exact sexuality was, and had Andrew ever painted his nails?

He resolutely refused to answer any of those questions, on the principle that she didn't need more money from bets than she already had.

They ordered quickly, Andrew eager to get away from Reynolds, when the cashier said something that made him stop in his tracks.

"We actually have a discount right now for kids under 12!" she said smiling. "Is that something you'd be interested in?"

Andrew squinted. Why the hell would they—

Oh. Oh no, no, no.

Allison seemed to come to the same realization that he did, because she smiled wide and tapped her nails against the counter.

"Oh, that's just perfect!" she exclaimed. "Aaron here just turned 11 a few months ago. We'll take the discount."

Aaron?!

Andrew was going to kill her.

He was still planning bloody murder as Reynolds brought their tray of food to the table. He sat down with a scowl, and though Neil shot him a curious glance, he didn't push it.

Stupid considerate junkie.

Andrew muttered a percentage under his breath and proceeded to poke Neil in the cheek with his chopsticks. After a few moments of this, Neil turned to him with a scowl.

"Andrew," he grumbled. "What are you doing?"

Andrew glared at Reynolds.

Neil gave a resigned sigh and turned to her. "Allison. What happened?"

Reynolds smirked. "Oh, nothing much. Just that the cashier thought that your boy was a literal child and gave us a discount for kids 12 and under. I told her that it was great because Aaron over there," she jabbed a finger towards Andrew. "just turned 11."

Neil looked like he was biting back a laugh but then frowned. "Okay, but arms."

"True," Reynolds conceded. "However, consider this: tiny."

The two idiots nodded like they'd figured out some indispensable secret of the universe.

Frustrated, Andrew went back to poking Neil's face; when he finally glanced back, Andrew nudged his arms and shuffled a bit closer. Thankfully, Neil actually got the hint for once and scraped featherlight fingers into Andrew's hair.

"It's okay," Neil tried. "I mean, at the end of the day, all of us are just broke college kids—"

"I'm not," Allison interrupted.

Neil rolled his stupid, pretty eyes. "Okay, most of us are broke college kids—"

"Don't you have a bunch of mafia blood money and stuff?" Reynolds asked.

"Beside the point," Neil huffed. "Fine, Andrew, you are a broke college kid—" "Gee, thanks." "— and so you should be grateful that your height is saving you some money."

"That is dumb."

"You're dumb."

"How creative."

Neil scowled and tugged on Andrew's hair. "Shut up. Drama queen."

Andrew stabbed a piece of stir fry into Neil's mouth to close that damn mouth and resolutely ignored the click of Allison's phone camera.

3.

This was proving to be a problem.

Andrew stared at his $150 jeans, the bottom of the legs frayed and pale. He had just bought these two weeks ago. What a waste of money.

There really was only one thing left to do.

Minutes later, Andrew slammed open the door to his brother's dorm and dragged him out with Aaron demanding to know where they were going. By the time he had wrestled his idiot doppelganger to the car, Andrew was reaching. his. fucking. limit.

"Andrew, if you don't tell me where we're going, I swear I'll bite you. I'll push Neil off a treadmill and dump a bucket of mud on him. I'll throw all your ice cream in the trash. I'll—"

That last one was simply too far. He'd have to give Aaron some ground.

"Get in, loser," Andrew glared. "We're going shopping."

Thankfully, he managed to keep Aaron quiet until they reached the mall by letting him pick the music (it was country! Southern heathen). What a child.

Rich coming from you, a voice told him snidely. You can't even buy clothes for yourself properly.

Shut up, he scolded himself.

"Andrew," Aaron sighed exasperatedly when they reached the parking lot. "Can you finally tell me what we're shopping for?"

They got out of the car and Andrew raised an eyebrow as he faced Aaron. "Sex toys."

"WHAT THE FU— "

Andrew watched his brother's face turn red as he sputtered, before noticing the amusement in his face.

Aaron deflated. "Asshole," he grumped.

"Yeah, that is generally where the dildo goes."

"Shut up. I'm begging you."

Andrew decided to take pity on him and stabbed a finger towards Aaron's legs. "When did you buy those."

Aaron squinted. "My jeans?" At Andrew's nod, he looked confused. "Uh, like three or four months ago maybe. Why?"

Three or four months?! That was simply unacceptable.

"They are still in good quality," Andrew said slowly.

"...Yes?" Aaron looked lost for a few moments before his face brightened with pure, evil glee. Andrew hated the world more in that moment than he ever had before. "Oh my God. Oh my God. Are your jeans too long for you?"

"Be quiet," he snapped. "You just need to show me where you buy yours and never mention this to anyone or I'll stab you."

Aaron didn't seem as concerned as he should have been. "I don't need to do anything, dumbass. Why don't you just cuff them like me?"

"I refuse to look like a bisexual disaster."

"Hey," Aaron looked mildly offended. "That's not a bisexual thing. Right?" At Andrew's blank look, his eyes widened. "No. Oh shit. Is that why guys keep hitting on me at Eden's?"

Andrew actually blinked at that. He had not realized that his brother was really that stupid. "Aaron. Eden's is a gay bar. Obviously men will hit on you."

"Wait, it's a what— "

"Be quiet. You are coming with me now." He dragged his brother to the mall entrance as Aaron bumbled along behind him, swearing incoherently.

They weaved their way through what seemed like a million stores until Andrew walked out hours later, finally satisfied with his new haul of jeans that Aaron had oh-so-considerately helped to pick out, a few hundred dollars poorer, and two churros and an iced coffee fuller.

Andrew trudged up the stairs to his floor (perhaps this was a workout he should regularly implement in his exercise regime) while Aaron split off to find some study group or other.

By the time he reached his dorm, Andrew felt far more exhausted than the situation warranted and he blindly chucked the bags on the sofa, belatedly realizing that Neil was already sitting where the bags would land. Oops.

He sat down by Neil like the throw was entirely intentional as Neil sputtered when the plastic smacked him in the face.

"What's all this?" the junkie questioned. For fuck's sake, why did his eyes have to be so blue?

Andrew just gestured for him to take the clothes out and saw as Neil's face grew confused when he saw what he was holding.

"Jeans? Didn't you literally buy some like a week ago?"

"Two," Andrew corrected, because he was a petty bitch if nothing else. Neil rolled his stupid eyes at that but waited for Andrew to provide an explanation. Andrew heaved a regretful sigh. "The bottom of them are all frayed now"

"Frayed?" the striker's brows furrowed before his face cleared and a shit-eating smirk crossed his face. "Wait, wait, wait. Are you saying you were too short for your jeans?"

Andrew nearly stabbed him right then and there.

"Shut. Up."

"Oh my gosh. Andrew. Andrew."

When Andrew got up (not grumpily. never grumpily. (okay, maybe a little grumpily)), Neil tugged on his shirt sleeve with an apologetic grin. "Sorry, sorry, I'll stop making fun," but his eyes were squinted as he tried not to laugh and his face was flushed and his lips were red as he bit on them, and honestly, how was Andrew expected to stay annoyed after seeing that?

"I mean," Neil continued. "You're paying with whatever you have left of Tilda's life insurance, right? And it's technically her fault you're so, uh... vertically challenged because of the drugs and shit. So you buying all these jeans are like a big "fuck you" to her!"

Andrew blinked slowly at his not-boyfriend's not-cute not-endearing hand-waving and decided he could take a hit to his reputation if it kept Neil glowing like this. "Josten. Are you saying that being short is literally in my jeans?"

"Holy shit, yes."

4.

To be fair, he had been warned. This was probably his own fault. Which he would never admit, but whatever.

It had started fine enough.

Andrew had been smoking by the windowsill as he waited for Neil to come back from his class. It was raining heavily and he felt a comfortable laze settle in his bones, so he didn't bother to open the window, despite Kevin's complaints.

"Andrew, stop smoking in here. If you want to destroy your lungs, at least do it away from me."

"Shut up and watch your damn Exy, Day."

He shut up and watched his damn Exy.

Andrew let the sounds of the game wash over him as he let his eyes droop (when did Exy become... relaxing to him? That was moderately concerning), so by the time he realized that there was an incessant beeping sound in the background, everything was too far gone to not have gone to shit.

His body finally jolted into action when he finally registered that the smoke alarm was blaring in their dorm and he heard yells coming from outside in the hallway, which probably meant an RA or some other Foxes were about to burst in and see him smoking where he wasn't supposed to. For the third time this month.

Crap.

"Day. Day! Get off your fucking computer and turn off the alarm," he hissed as he (gracefully) scrambled to the kitchen to find a towel.

"Hmm?" Kevin hummed blearily. "Oh. That. Well, I told you so."

Andrew simply could not believe it. (Well, maybe he could a bit. Kevin was just that kind of asshole frie— person.)

By the time he dampened a towel (wow, they really needed to do the dishes sometime soon), the shouts were right outside the door and he heard keys jingling in the lock. Quickly he scrambled up the table, but in his haste, kicked over a glass of water (vodka? Sprite? whatever).

He tripped over slightly and his foot splashed into the puddle on the table, causing him to cringe internally. His sock felt horribly wet and tingly, and it was nearly enough to distract him from the creaking of the door opening. Quickly, he reached up, flapping the towel near the smoke alarm to turn it off.

It wasn't enough. He couldn't reach the alarm.

In a split-second, he decided to just fuck it and leapt up to see if that would work. However, the uncomfortable feeling in his feet and the stupid smoke alarm and the fucking banging of the door made him severely misjudge his strength.

Andrew jumped a lot further forward than he expected. He flew through the air, one foot catching on the top of a chair, the other stabbed by the edge of the table. In a futile attempt to gain his balance, Andrew flailed his arms around, but that just caused the towel to smack him in the face.

Eventually, gravity took hold of him and he (and the chair) crashed into the floor, the towel mockingly flopping on his hair. Blearily, he raised his head up and saw Neil and their RA staring at him concernedly from the doorway.

Well, this was awkward. At least the beeping had stopped.

Their RA, an unfortunately attractive tennis player named Richard Addams (Nicky found it hilarious that their RA's initials were R.A.. Andrew called him 'Certified Dick™'), stepped in cautiously. "Andrew, everything okay?"

"Just peachy," he grumbled.

Neil ran to Andrew's side at the sound of his voice and pushed his blond hair out of his face. "Why peaches? They're honestly not even that good; I can only stand the really big and thick and juicy ones."

Andrew froze and even Kevin closed his laptop that. "Neil," Certified Dick™ said slowly. "Do you know what peaches are?"

"Duh," he rolled his eyes. "Fruit. That's why Nicky has a peach next to my name in his contacts. Because I like fruits."

Idiot.

"It means 'ass,' " Andrew informed him. Neil gaped.

"It means wha— "

"Okay," Certified Dick™ exclaimed cheerfully. "I'm gonna leave y'all here. Andrew, I'll assume you weren't doing anything against the rules because you are a kind person who always listens to what I say."

"Of course," Andrew said blandly. "I am a wonderful student." He fingered the edges of his armbands.

Certified Dick™ slowly backed out of the room.

Neil let out a breath and blew his hair out of his eyes. "Okay," he started. "We'll talk about the ass thing later. But first, what the hell just happened?"

Andrew pointed up at the smoke alarm.

"Well, yes, I got that, but why were you jumping around like an absolute idiot?"

"Kevin is useless," Andrew announced.

"Not true!" Kevin protested immediately. "You just never listen to me. It's not my fault that I'm always right."

Andrew glared at him and turned back to Neil. "I couldn't reach the stupid smoke alarm," he finally gritted out, bracing for someone to mock him.

It never came.

Instead, Neil gave him a cheeky grin and a wink (at least, Andrew assumed it was a wink) and turned to Kevin with a faux-annoyed stare. "Seriously, Kev? You didn't help him?"

"He got himself into his own mess," Kevin shrugged.

"Okay, and what if someone had caught him? They might have not allowed him to play Exy for a bit! Or maybe while he was trying to shut off the alarm, he could have really hurt himself!" Neil was really laying it heavy on the dramatics, brandishing his arms wildly.

Kevin's eyes widened in horror at his words. "Shit."

"Yeah," Neil nodded graveley. "Us Exy players have got to look out for each other. How else will we live to our potentials?"

Kevin looked like he was going to be sick. Quickly, he whipped open his laptop and began muttering questions on how to secretly disable smoke alarms.

"Junkie," Andrew muttered to Neil. Neil just hummed and pressed a kiss to the crook of his neck.

"Yeah," he whispered a few moments later. "Only for you."

5.

Hmm. This was nice.

Andrew never could have imagined he would be the kind of guy to stumble over furniture while kissing his way through a room, and yet, here he was, crashing into tables and upturning chairs and tripping over bags.

He had Neil's fingers intertwined with his and was dragging him through the dorm, the kisses constantly pausing because Neil kept breaking off into small smiles and laughing into his neck. Every few steps, Andrew would take a look at his flushed junkie and absolutely forget about his plan to reach the bedroom, choosing instead to kiss him ferociously right there.

They were lucky that no one else was in the dorm.

When Andrew realized that it had taken them a solid seven minutes to walk about 15 feet past the door, he realized they would probably never reach an actual bed at the rate they were going. He told Neil as much and was rewarded with a shrug.

"I literally don't care where we end up," Neil said breathlessly before pulling him into another heated kiss. "I just wanna kiss you."

Andrew nearly snorted at that. How predictable. "I got that" he muttered. "But what do you want?"

Neil raised an eyebrow and deepened his voice mockingly. "I want nothing."

"You are actually so insufferable."

"Yeah, yeah," Neil waved him off and latched his mouth on Andrew's neck. Fuck. "Hmm," he said a few moments later. "Carry me?"

Andrew resisted the urge to roll his eyes. Ever since the junkie had seen how much he lifted at the gym a few weeks ago, this had become one of his favorite requests (and really, who was Andrew to deny him?).

Nevertheless, he leaned down and grabbed both of Neil's thighs, pushing him up until his legs were secured around Andrew's waist and Andrew could comfortably hold him up, his body flush against Andrew's.

Yeah, he got why Neil liked this so much.

He wasn't sure how long he'd be able to hold Neil up for though, considering that they actually had a game tomorrow and he didn't want to put up with Kevin's annoying complaints if he didn't try at least a bit. Andrew glanced around for a second before his eyes caught on the perfect place.

He adjusted his grip on Neil, causing him to let out an oof in surprise and carefully made his way to the kitchen (with only a slight amount of kissing in the middle). Andrew messily deposited Neil on the island counter and was promptly faced with another problem.

Neil was up there. Andrew was down here. How the hell were they supposed to make out now?

Andrew frowned slightly and tugged at Neil's collar. "Lean down," he commanded.

Neil complied and pressed a searing kiss to his lips, tugging at Andrew's hair, but too soon he pulled back.

At Andrew's 'yes or no?' Neil smiled down sheepishly. "It's a yes, but this angle's going to end up destroying my back."

That made no sense — whenever Andrew sat on the counter, he never had to lean down that much. He reasoned that the weight of being an Exy junkie was finally catching up to Neil's spine, though.

"Well," Andrew huffed. "I'm not going up on my toes."

"Why would you need to go on your toes?" Neil looked genuinely confused as Andrew frustratedly gestured at the air between them. "Wait, wait. Can you not reach me if I'm sitting up here?"

Andrew's thoughts came to a halt.

He pulled back (well, as much as he could while still staying in Neil's arms) and squinted suspiciously at his not-boyfriend. "Can you normally reach me when I sit up?"

"Well, yeah," Neil blinked. "I mean, I have to stretch a little bit but it's usually fine."

What.

Unceremoniously, Andrew yanked Neil off the counter and sat himself up (he pretended not to notice the stare that Neil gave when he flexed his arms). He hooked his ankles around Neil and dragged him closer, coming nearly forehead-to-forehead.

Forehead-to-forehead. Neil could reach him.

Andrew let out an uncharacteristic groan and dropped his head on Neil's surprisingly comfy shoulder. Neil snorted quietly and patted his head.

"It's okay, Drew," he said, his voice muffled but teasing as he pressed a kiss to the top of Andrew's head. "Maybe next time we can get you a stool or something. That'll be real attractive."

Andrew scowled and kicked him in the leg.

Neil's voice softened as he lowered his arms to rub soft circles on his back. "But I'm serious Andrew, it's okay." He pressed a soft kiss to Andrew's collarbone, the underside of his jaw, the corner of his lips. "Does this feel good?"

Andrew swallowed. Hiding from Neil was a fight he knew he'd lose, and there was no point prolonging the inevitable. "Yes."

"Then that's all I need. Making you feel good makes me feel good," he whispered. "I really like this, what we do right now. And if you want, we can still find more positions that feel really good. Don't stress, we have time."

"Hmm," Andrew said a few moments later. "That is all fine and well, but actually, we now only have about 20 minutes until Kevin comes back from class, and I would highly appreciate it if you could get me off sometime soon."

"Asshole. We were totally having a moment."

"Next to a bowl of apples."

"Rude. I bet those apples appreciated the conversation."

Andrew rolled his eyes at Neil's idiocy, but kissed him hard to convey everything he felt: you care, you listen, you are okay with me, you are safe for me. Neil seemed to get the message, because his body softened under Andrew's grip as he kissed him back eagerly.

When they finally pulled apart, Andrew felt heavy and sated and secure in the way he only associated with Neil. He looked into Neil's blown-out pupils, the blue peeking brightly at the edges of his eyes as he slowly brought Neil's hand to the waistband of his jeans.

"Right," Andrew tried for a nonchalant tone. The slight voice-crack may have betrayed him, but whatever. "Take off my pants now?"

+1

South Carolina winters were shit.

Growing up in Oakland meant that he was pretty used to cold winters and hot summers, but usually things only got unbearably chilly at night, when he could pile tons of blankets on himself. Unfortunately, winters in the South brought biting wind and snow. All day long.

Andrew hated the cold (sure, he could walk around with a blanket draped over him like a cape in his dorm (he did. occasionally), but alas, he actually had a reputation to uphold)

And yet, when Nicky and Dan enthusiastically told Neil about their stupid plan and Neil had sent a stupid questioning gaze to Andrew's stupid face, he sure as fuck couldn't use "the cold" as an excuse to deny those eyes.

So he bundled up into a turtleneck, a sweater, a thin jacket and a snow one, a beanie, a pair of gloves, leggings and then sweatpants, and his warmest socks (Andrew decidedly ignored Neil's snickers, who was annoying dressed in just a long-sleeved shirt and jeans. how rude.)

The so-called Monsters trampled down to the parking lot outside the Tower, boots sinking deep into the snow. Andrew shivered at the sudden wind and if he walked a little closer to Neil's hot warm body — well, no one needed to know.

Within seconds of their arrival, Andrew was regretting coming out.

A massive snowball soared through the air and slammed into Aaron's face, who promptly fell on his ass from the force of it.

"What the fuck?" he sputtered, wiping snow out of his eyes.

"HA!" Reynolds hollered. "Take that!"

"Oh dear," Neil muttered. "I didn't expect this much violence from the start."

"We are Foxes," Andrew scoffed. "Violence is the whole point."

"Actually, there's this one piece of shit in my Stats class and he tried to tell me I was wrong — I wasn't, by the way — and instead of punching him, I just very mathematically proved how incompetent he was and I told him that his parents' miscalculation when it came to conceiving him evidently got passed on to him in the form of his nonexistent math skills. So. No violence."

Andrew wasn't sure if he should kiss Neil or smack him. "Right. Because verbal annihilation is a very tame response."

"Since when have you been such a peacemaker?"

"Renee."

"You two literally beat the shit out of each other every week."

Andrew shrugged. "Semantics."

"I really don't think— "

Their conversation was rudely interrupted by Matt throwing a snowball mere inches away from Andrew's face. At his glare, Matt promptly ran behind a car.

"Neil," Andrew sighed. "I hate you."

"I didn't force you to be here," Neil pointed out. "Could've said no. What did Nicky call you? 'Whipped.' So ha." With that profound statement, Neil ducked and dumped a handful of snow down the back of Andrew's shirt.

"Ha," Andrew said back smugly. "Layers." Neil looked betrayed.

"Layers. I forgot."

"I didn't."

"Asshole."

"Yup."

Neil scowled and kicked at Andrew's highly sturdy snow boots petulantly. Andrew refrained from rolling his eyes turned towards him. "Yes or no?"

"Oh," Neil perked up. Junkie. "Yes, yes."

Andrew jabbed him in the stomach and when Neil keeled over groaning, he pressed a kiss to his lips and shoved his head under Neil's chin.

"Personal heater," Andrew explained. Then he grabbed Neil's arms and tucked them around his waist. This was good.

"Right," Neil snorted. "Naturally. I can't wait until someone throws a snowball at your face and you get all cold and wet."

Andrew scowled. How rude.

"Oi, Minyard!" Dan called and Andrew sighed before wiggling around until he was facing her, back flush against Neil's front. "This is for drawing mustaches all over the pictures in the Court!"

Andrew raised an eyebrow. "You have no proof— "

His protests were cut off with the sight of a snowball hurtling full speed at him. He made to jump out of the way (maybe Exy was good for something after all), but Neil's arms around him proved to be a real hindrance.

As it was, he got jerked back into place, the snowball inches in front of him. Andrew shut his eyes, hoping he could use this as an excuse to drag Neil into the dorm to warm up, when he heard an "oof" from behind him.

Andrew twisted around to find Neil's face covered in an explosion of snow, water dripping down his shocked expression.

His eyelashes were nice. Hmm.

"Wh- What?" he shivered. "How is there snow on my face? Wasn't it supposed to land on you?"

Oh.

Andrew brushed off some snow that had settled on his cheekbones before stepping back a bit (still in Neil's arms. that was necessary). And Neil was right, it was odd, the snowball was supposed to hit him and instead, it had smashed itself on Neil.

"I believe," Andrew said slowly. "My height has proved to be advantageous."

"Advan— you mean you were so short the snowball literally missed you and hit me?!"

"Yup," Andrew felt extremely self-satisfied. "See, had you been shorter, this wouldn't have happened. Alas, there's just more of you to hit when you're tall."

"That— I— Andrew!"

"That's my name."

"Ugh. I am cold and wet and very much not liking this," Neil grumbled.

"Bet you wish you had as many jackets as me, huh?" Andrew crowed.

"You could always give one of them to me," Neil said as he yanked Andrew back against him.

"I could. Not feeling it, though."

"Bastard."

"Just a little," Andrew agreed. He tilted his head up to look at Neil and oh, that angle was good, his lips were right there, how did Andrew never notice that Neil's eyelashes framed his eyes so nicely?

Hmm. If this was the view, maybe his height had some... unforeseen perks that extended beyond snowball fighting.

"I win," Andrew told Neil seriously. At his confused expression, Andrew was forced to sigh out an explanation. "You are very pretty from down here."

"Oh?"

"Shut up."

"I think you're pretty too."

"198%."

"Kiss me?"

"Ugh, if you insist."

Andrew leaned up to press his lips to Neil, dutifully ignoring the cheers from behind him, as Neil placed a hand under his chin to tilt him up further, which felt very nice.

Yeah, Andrew was living the good life. He had a maybe-boyfriend who was the perfect height and a brother and cousin who might actually stay, and he was content and safe and— really fucking cold because there was a ball of snow sliding down his neck what the fuck what the fuck what the fu— .

"NICKY."

"Shit. Sorry!"

part 1 of the andreil coming out thing here

ok, so andrew and neil aren't the most openly affectionate

there's no hints to the public that they could possibly be together, considering their little... rivalry

however, with andrew out now, a few people like to believe that andrew and neil could have an "enemies-to-lovers" situation

some people even think that they're already together

nevertheless, this is a very small population in the grand scheme of exy, and most of this is indulging in fantasies anyways — few people really believe in these theories

and as months pass after andrew's coming out, people stop pestering him every 0.2 seconds about who his boyfriend is

andrew and neil think they're finally free of all the annoying paparazzi and slightly overbearing fans

and it's under this false sense of security that shit hits the roof

it's a random september night when it happens, nothing terribly significant

but the whole week, andrew had been craving a closeness with neil, the kind that comes with not seeing your person for weeks

so he booked a flight to where neil was, realizing that had this occurred a few years back, andrew probably wouldn't have even acknowledged that he missed neil, let alone made steps to actually see him again

on a flight.

(he thinks bee would be proud)

anyway, he reached neil's apartment with minimal damage and proceeded to be drowned in kisses

it's a good few days.

and then, on that fateful september night, andrew is hit with the urge to take neil out

(not like murder. more like... a date?)

they don't usually go out on those, but it's not like they've never done so before

so andrew books a dinner reservation at a fancy restaurant, fully intending to take his man out on a nice. fancy. relaxing. drama-free. date.

of course, the universe has other plans

andrew and neil arrive at the restaurant (a little late but neil's lips were a good distraction for a few hours, okay? (they may have left the kitchen in disarray from lunch, but that's irrelevant))

their table is a secluded corner where they're pretty much hidden from view, save for one or two tables, and the seemingly solid privacy relaxes andrew and neil

their dinner goes by relatively uneventfully

(excluding when andrew gave a small smile to one of neil's dumb jokes, who proceeded to dump marinara sauce into his water instead of next to his garlic bread while staring dreamily at andrew, and then nearly choked when he took his next sip from the glass)

(also excluding when neil gave a not-so-innocent suck on his fork and andrew, frustrated over laws about public indecency, stabbed his brussel sprouts aggressively, causing one to fly up and hit and burn his eye)

(also also excluding— )

ok, so maybe it was more of a mess than andrew was ready to admit

but andrew dug into his panna cotta feeling lighter than he had in weeks as neil teased him about his sugar addiction and held his hand under the table

it was as andrew leaned over and kissed some cream off the side of neil's lips that he got the feeling of being watched

he whirled around, hair nearly hitting neil's face, as his gaze landed on a cell phone camera pointed at them

he caught the eye of a very guilty looking man, made even more errant when said man proceeded to leap out of his chair and run out of the restaurant

andrew was half-out of his chair to follow him when neil tugged on his shirt sleeve, an instigative glint in his eye

"neil. do you want to see this on every gossip magazine in the next few hours?"

"well no, but that fuckwad is always going to have those pictures. we, however, can make sure he doesn't get the headline he wants"

"... i'm listening"

about 40 minutes later, back at neil's apartment, neil posts a picture of his extremely messy kitchen on twitter

@neil_josten_official: well fuck me 🥴

@03andrewminyard: if you insist

~ 30 minutes later ~

@neil_josten_official: *image attached: andrew is laying his head in the crook of neil's neck as neil kisses him on the top of his head, andrew's fingers running through neil's hair. they both appear to be shirtless*

@neil_josten_official: BREAKING NEWS: just had sex with my (very hot) boyfriend to get revenge on unfulfilled gossip "journalists." life really couldn't be better :)

@neil_josten_official: ok but really, stop trying to out closeted celebrities (and people in general). it's not cool. it's not trendy. our lives aren't a scandal to report on. you're all just assholes and fuck you

@neil_josten_official: but not literally. a metaphorical fuck, if you will

@exykevinday.official: I'm proud of you for coming out and finally ending your ridiculous rivalry @neil_josten_official and @03andrewminyard, but was there really no other way you could have done so without informing me about your sex life?

@03andrewminyard: haha. no.

needless to say, the internet erupts in shock at neil's tweets

theories emerge left and right about how, when, why andrew and neil got together

the two of them get requests for so many interviews, talk shows, panels, magazines, all of which they turn down

of course, there's the occasional question in a post-game or team interview that's hard to avoid, and for the most part, these rare moments provide the only things the public knows about what they affectionately call "andreil"

but apparently when you're in a very public relationship, there are certain expectations fans have about how much of it you disclose

and while andrew doesn't necessarily want to divulge their private life to millions of people, he also can't help but be reminded of how seeing nicky and erik's comfortable relationship in his late teenage years solidified to him that him liking guys wasn't a bad thing

and it's with that in mind that he posts a picture on his instagram from earlier in june of him and neil curled up on the sofa, a massive rainbow flag draped around them with neil kissing his cheek

it's one of the few pictures he posts of the two of them (photos are more of neil's thing (when the hell did he take such model-esque photos of andrew?))

but andrew constantly @'s neil on twitter for literally anything

@03andrewminyard: don't forget the cat food the spoiled idiots take the most expensive stuff @neil_josten_official

@03andrewminyard: hey @neil_josten_official get me the mega stuff oreos from the store ok bye

@03andrewminyard: i- @neil_josten_official. why. is. there. neon. orange. paint. all. over. my. socks.

needless to say, neil's retaliation of posting gorgeous photos of andrew always flusters andrew

and if andrew needs to press soft kisses to his lips to stop neil's gleeful laughter and his own flightful smile, well, that's no one's business