I Feel Like No One In The Autism Community Understands How Extroverted Autism Looks And It Makes Me Feel

people lots lots lots say " can not control situation but can control reaction " … so want shout out for people who can not , actually .

people who have meltdown because " small " thing go wrong - always bigger than people believe .

people who get angry and defensive when someone try bully and hurt - can not " just " ignore like everyone say .

people who feel actually violent when something upset - who need time and place to go hit things , so that not hurt people .

people who can not understand how stay calm and walk away - who instead get frustrate and say shut up go away .

and anyone else who relate to this - that can not control how react , not so easy like that .

is not bad person to not be able control reactions how people expect .

there is benefits in have skill , but , not deserve to beat self up for not have skill . people should support if or when try learn , but also , should support even before learn , give outlets and patience .

some people will forever have less skill , because brain physically can not adapt and learn right . some people have episodes and crises where control impossible . still do not make bad person . still deserve support .

Just a reminder that ableism against personality disorders, especially cluster b personality disorder, is alive and well.

Not having empathy doesn’t make someone evil. It doesn’t make them an abuser. In fact, people without empathy are better in certain vital positions. We’re better at being first responders, 911 operators, and other tasks that would overwhelm empaths. We work better in critical situations than empaths do.

Thinking that any disorder makes someone evil is ableist. And when you take into account the sexist bias in diagnosing women with BPD and the racist and classist bias in diagnosing POC and prison inmates with ASPD and NPD? It’s not only ableist, it’s all kinds of -ists. Plus, it’s really rich for someone who claims that empathy is what makes someone good to have so little empathy for people with disorders that are literally trauma-based.

So yeah if you see someone being a dick to people with PDs? Say something. Because they’re definitely not going to listen to us.

Pinned

Storm was right in what she said to Rogue about the cure and I will fight people on this.

My name is Raven, he/him, I'm 20, and this is my disability blog. I am a multiple disabled person who has a bad job, has not yet learned how to drive, certainly can't live on my own, and I write and reblog posts. Please do not mock the spelling, language, grammar, punctuation, or whatever else of me or anyone I reblog here. This blog will focus mostly on autism and autistic voices, but I'll post about a whole spectrum. Mainly the ones listed below

I have autism, light-moderate support needs, medium moderate support needs when accounting for everything else. Hyperempathy, hypersensitivity to my senses, emotion regulation issues, find it near impossible to understand people when they aren't being up-front about what they mean, need reminders for actions of daily living (including eating) but can do them on my own when reminded. Should not be managing my own money. I am fully verbal, but with a lot of speech disability. I get overwhelmed extremely easily and when that happens, I completely freak out. I also have some kinds of cognitive and developmental disabilities but am not intellectually disabled.

I have a lisp, a permanent slur, trouble pronouncing crunchy consonants or words that start with a vowel (can do it, just takes my mouth a second to work,) and I talk very slowly. There's probably more and I just don't know it. Apparently my speech is so bad that the speech therapist in kindergarten said that there was so much wrong with my speech that it couldn't possibly be fixed. Also often tend to speak without thinking, which I can't really help.

I have severe ADHD, mostly inattentive, dyslexia, dysgraphia, articulatory initiation anomia, dyspraxia, TBI from when I was a baby, migraines (all kinds, including ACM,) sensory processing disorder, chronic daily headache, myofascial pain syndrome, chronic fatigue, anxiety, depression, PTSD, OCD, and some other stuff.

Recovering from kleptomania and compulsive lying.

Warning

- I lost a friend to ABA. He's dead because of ABA. There is no ABA positivity here. I will be hating on it.

- I talk about ableism a lot. All posts will be tagged as ableism

- I am transgender

I DO answer both educational and writing questions.

there was a tiktok I made a while ago basically saying "your abusive ex boyfriend is more likely a misogynist than a narcissist" and while most people agreed some said I was victim blaming(?) and that I couldn't know what their ex is like, and while obviously I don't, every fucking person describing their narcissistic ex is describing a typical misogynist. ask yourself, is this behavior you associate with narcissism directed at women or does he treat his male friends the same way? is his general functioning in life impaired?

many people don't seem to know this, but a mental disorder is NOT based on symptoms alone, it's based on how much the symptoms actually impair you in daily life. most people could look at a list of mental disorder symptoms and identify either themselves or someone else with them. as far as a narcissistic personality, we all know people who appear more self absorbed than others, but this is typically subclinical narcissism (presence of narcissistic traits without significant impairment of functioning) which is not a disorder. there is also a misunderstanding of what npd is. a narcissist is not a supervillain invincible to emotion. npd is a defensive reaction to trauma that lead to deep insecurity and fear of being seen as weak or vulnerable. so narcissists aren't actually "in love with themselves" at all and often are diagnosed when seeking help for other issues such as substance abuse resulting from their struggles.

this focus a lot of abused women in online pop psychology have on narcissism is particularly concerning because it completely glosses over misogyny which is literally a huge factor in violence against women. people really only know misogyny as a surface level thing. they don't know it can lead to family annihilation, for example, and is one reason most family annihilations are committed by the husband. it's always "this man is a sociopath" "this man is a narcissist" when the man's behavior is driven by ideology. I am so fucking tired of everything being tied to mental illness and left at that. you know what this leads to? courts "fixing" abusive men by...giving them anger management therapy. guess what? it doesn't fucking do anything because the problem isn't mental instability leading to anger, it's targeted, purposeful abuse. we are getting nowhere

what i need narc abuse believers to realize when we say "narc/npd abuse doesn't exist" is that we are not saying:

your abuse wasn't real or valid

pwNPD are never abusive

pwNPD are perfect angels who can do no wrong, ever

you're a liar

you're lying about your abuse

there is a 0% chance your abuser had npd

abuse isn't real

abuse doesn't happen, ever

you're an abuser

you are, without a doubt, not disabled, and also one hundred percent ableist and sanist

we are saying, though:

narc abuse itself, as a concept, does not exist

narcissists do not perpetuate any type of abuse that egotypicals can't

your abuse and trauma wasn't narcissistic abuse but rather emotional or psychological abuse

narc abuse itself, as a concept, has harmed pwNPD and their relationships

narc abuse has ruined any chance of finding actually good resources

narc abuse itself, as a concept, has been used to abuse narcissists

narc abuse itself, as a concept, is named after a mental disorder, which is inherently sanist and ableist

you have ableist and sanist biases that you do need to check, regardless of if you're intentionally or actively trying to harm people or not

Everything coming out about Dream right now and the people defending it simply because “he’s autistic uwu” just reaffirms to me something that I’ve known since childhood— autistic men will always be coddled while autistic women are belittled.

It’s not only infantilizing to people with autism, but offensive. Being neurodivergent is never an excuse for having a fundamentally insane predisposition and worldview, and exploiting and hurting other people. I can’t believe I have to say this!

y’all, this is a gentle reminder that radqueers are not welcome on our blog. this is not the space for you. in order to help keep our blog a safe space for disabled people, people of color, abuse survivors, transgender people, and other marginalized groups, we ask that radqueers please do not interact. if you choose to continue to interact with us, know that you are disrespecting us and crossing one of our personal boundaries.

we have explained some of the issues with a few radqueer identities in this psa:

if you are transx/transid/radqueer, we can’t stop you from interacting. but please know that you are crossing our boundaries by being here, we are not comfortable with you here, and our posts have never and will never be created with radqueers in mind. and remember, endogenic systems have never been, and will never be, inherently radqueer. many endogenic systems have always and will always exist outside of the radqueer community.

so sorry to our followers who don’t want to see posts like this. we’ve been getting some radqueers in our notifications lately so we thought this message bears repeating. thank you for listening and respecting our wishes. take care.

i hope people don’t confused kleptomania with shoplifting. people with kleptomania tend to steal things that don’t have much use to them- shop lifters steal things like bags and clothing items.

when I was a kid, I use to steal pens from my classmates and keeping them at home, not using them at all. i once stole a girl in my classes pocket notebook, which i kept in my junk drawer and didn’t even look at. i felt bad after stealing these things. and I never planned to, it just happened.

so for all those shop lifters that brag about what they stole on tumblr, shame on you. i have seen some of those shop lifters say, “oh, I have kleptomania and I can’t help it”, you don’t have kleptomania.

sure there’s a ramp, but is it steep? is there a curb at the top? is the ground uneven? do i need a key for the elevator? are the aisles and doorways wide enough? do i have room to turn? is there furniture and clutter in my way? is the carpet difficult to wheel on? can i open the doors myself?

accessibility to wheelchairs is more than just a ramp.

Yesterday the 12th of May was Fibromyalgia awareness day. I'm a little late uploading it, but spreading awareness is being done nonetheless. Lots of love for my chronic pain people!! <3