Theunfrgiv3n - ✩﹒Spaghetti ᶻz

God watches with teeth. Every breath I take feels peeled, every thought a trespass. I was born already wrong, wired for fire, taught to kneel before love that punishes. My sin is entrenched, carved into me by hymns and eyes that never blink. I don’t pray anymore. I implore. And even then, I wait for the slap, not the pity.

I love Him like a blade to the throat, beautiful, agonizing, inevitable. My chest splits open at the thought of Him, ribs pried wide for a light that burns more than it warms. I whisper His name and taste ash. I tremble not from doubt, but from the awful ache of knowing He sees me, every flaw, every filth, and still demands my adoration. I would crawl to His altar with bleeding hands, if only to feel worthy of the terror.

I rot for forgiveness and understanding, pleading for acceptance, and yet, my pleas are only answered with silence.

I have this urge to delete all my fics and start over, I hate my works so much bro

Wifey

─── 𝒇𝒍𝒂𝒔𝒉 𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈

───  𝒑𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒐𝒏𝒂𝒍 𝒆𝒙𝒑𝒆𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒄𝒆.

Yesterday I got the chance to see Dieth, specially to see David. It was such a thrilling moment for me and had an awesome time in the crowd! Hopefully I’ll see him again next year if there’s another tour and they decide to pass by.

───  𝒎𝒆𝒓𝒄𝒉.

Patch

Pin

Shirt

CD signed by all members

Guilherme's (guitar and vocals) pick

David's stage used strings

Old doodles/sketches

We are so back ig

i think about god and all the ways he has failed me. he let me be assaulted and abused and groomed. its all gods fault. he couldve prevented it if he wanted to. and i wouldnt be so disgusting and mean if he prevented it. what if god isnt real? what about all the devoted christians who never got a life outside of something that never existed? they lost every last thing they had but still had faith in nothing?? how is that fair??? and does god really punish people for killing themselves? im gonna go to hell if i just cant handle living like this?? and what if hell isnt real? will my groomers and abusers ever get the punishments they deserve? the legal system never did anything and neither does god. im on my own. i hope heaven is at least real. i hope everyone i lost at least feels the happiness they couldnt find on earth

Hiii, I felt like really pouring out my feelings on a fic (since it's also been a while). I used David to portray my thoughts and feelings since I have a hugeeee attachment for David and blah blah blah,,, well, the point is that I self-reflected on him and if anyone is interested in seeing him suffer, this is your fic. Btw, big fat content warining for suicide attempt and mentions of other issues.

Rating: Explicit !major character death!

Relationship: --

Summary:

“You’ve been off lately, man,” he said, his voice softer than usual. “Is everything alright?” David forced a smile, one he had perfected over the years. “Yeah,” he lied. “Just tired, you know?”

//

1985

https://archiveofourown.org/works/64030417