The Touchpad Of My Laptop Stopped Working A Whole Year Ago (i Use A Mouse So Not A Big Deal But Still

AUG 20, 2023

study diary —

It wasn’t as gloomy as I had thought it would be today! I got a pretty early start in my studies.

I finished the reading and homework for one of my programming classes, and then started the reading for my other programming class. I also began taking notes from my textbook for the next chapter of physics.

In the morning, I go back to the office for the first time since classes started. I worked from home last week to ease back into my studies. I’m nervous (commuting is so unproductive), but I’ll also be meeting with my advisor to discuss time management for this semester.

I also get to start research tomorrow!!

Tumblr boy Era.

We need to get a little uncomfortable for a minute. But it's ok. You have to be uncomfortable in order to grow.

You're going to fail. You're going to disappoint people and yourself. You're going to have moments where you're so overwhelmed that you're curled in a ball crying and frustrated. You're going to miss important milestones. You're going to drop the ball so many times things seem impossible. You're going to fail. You're going to be mean. You're going to be a bad person at points. It's life. It happens. You just need to understand that it happens. And on those days where you want to dissappear and never be seen again because everything is too much, your brain is going to amplify all these faults and failures and make them seem worse.

Babe. We all go through this. We ALL fail. We ALL make awful choices and fuck people and ourselves over. We ALL will have moments where we are the villains. Where we completely fail a lot of people in our lives due to bad decisions. It will happen. Probably multiple times. What matters is that you recognize these things and make appropriate changes in your life to help make sure that next time isn't as bad. Maybe start learning time management so you're not stressed constantly and blowing up on everyone. Maybe find a healthy outlet like painting or the gym or cooking. Find small, simple joys to make life better. It's going to suck. You're going to be the bad guy. But that's not your entire life.

It's uncomfortable and hard to sit with. Sometimes things are your fault. Sometimes you make bad choices and they fuck your life up and fuck others over at the same time. It happens. You can't change the past, but you have the power to change your future. You can change your future. Talk to people. Find yourself outlets. Learn skills. Things get better, but they only do so if you put the effort for them to do so. I love you. You're trying. And that's all you can do. And one day you'll slip backwards and feel so defeated but when that happens, you'll have many tools to help you get even further. I promise babe everything will be ok.

Day 44/100

// 14/09/23//

Went to class

Assisted to an integrative day for deaf children from schools with classes for them from different cities

Went to college

Ate with Teo (also was our 3 months together hehe)

Showered Odie <3

Took Odie to the vet

Appeared on tv with the cat shelter on the program we shot some time ago