Peter: Hi

fucks sake

Tony: I am, what the kids call, full of anxiety.

Peter: Are you alright Mr. Stark, Sir?

Steve and Tony reuniting in Avengers 4;

Steve: It's been a long tim-

Tony: Shut up asshole. I just lost my futer husband and my son.

Steve: I'm so sorr-

Tony: Are you trying to tell me I'm a bad mother?

Steve: No I-

Tony: I AM THE BEST FUCKING MOTHER IN EXISTANCE FUCKING WATCH ME KILLING THANOS FOR TAKING MY FAMILY!!!

Me: *has phone phobia*

My parents: You're on phone duty.

Me:

I wake up each morning ready to cry over a new long haired rockstar and I'm totally okay with that 😌✨✌🏻

Everyone be like: Send me flowers and love.

While I'm like: Send me dank memes and fries.

My mom: Gosh, you should read more often.

Me: *defensively* I read!

My mom: Really? What do you read?

My brain: Fluffy gay porn about fictional characters.

Me: Uhh… literature?

It’s 3:00 in the morning where I am…

I think about the fact that there’s documentated evidence of ace frehley being just a little bit gay a lot