Throw Back To When I Posted This On Twitter With A Comment About How Completely Stupid It Is That If

i need to be snuggled so bad

*through gritted teeth* you are not a child taking a test with the purpose of getting the highest score, you are an adult trying new things and finding ways to enjoy your life, make mistakes, be a beginner, be mediocre, be where you need to be, be unlikeable, just. be.

In the continued effort to sexualize autism. Consider the intersection of free use and autistic joy.

A group of butches running a train on a cute sub as she infodumps to them, only pausing to orgasm or get some water, occasionally getting her helpful reminders of her last point when butch cock knocks her train of thought off course.

Comfy gloryholes that restrain a sub’s mouth and hips so they can be fucked on both sides, but leave their hands free to stim on some nice fluffy material, always in reach. A wall of sluts with the ambient sounds of babbling echolalia and slurping/gagging.

A nonverbal free use slut in a comfy hoodie and an easy pamphlet of do’s and don’ts for any takers, silently shifting down their sweats and presenting their holes for their current public partner, getting fucked against the wall of an alley or railed over a table in just the way they like without needing to say a word. And of course, comfy hoodie stays on during gangbangs.

Why are fascists so much better at imagining left-wing utopias than we are?

i’m evolved i think pda is actually a good and fine thing even when straight people do it but especially when gay people do. it’s nice to see love in public don’t be a hater grab a loved one and smooch them in line for your pretzel bites or something

every overthinker should have someone to fuck them stupid

theyre in a polycule

shaking six year old me by the shoulders YOU WERE RIGHT. YOU WERE RIGHT ABOUT LOVE AND ABOUT FAIRNESS AND ABOUT SHARING IS CARING. YOU WERE RIGHT. THE ADULTS DON’T KNOW ANY MORE ABOUT TRUTH THAN YOU DO. KEEP BELIEVING IN THE FAIRIES AT THE BOTTOM OF THE GARDEN. NOTHING IS “JUST THE WAY IT IS”. I AM SORRY THEY EVER CONVINCED YOU TO FEEL SHAME. YOU ARE REAL AND A PART OF THIS WORLD. YOU WERE RIGHT.

Medium

Autistic “Memory-Foaming”

Why the difficulty (and sometimes inability) to self-advocate is so common to the autistic experience… and why it’s so insidious.

During a writing workshop I took this past year, I was reading a submission from someone in the group, and the following passage hit me like a brick: “I learned the things most people don’t have to know, too, how to shut down my brain and just perform the motions when needed. I made myself into the perfect parallel, not a mirror but foam. Folding in when he needed to push down, anticipating his next move, and absorbing it in kind. I became resigned to his every need, trying to never let him get ahead of my mental preparation.” — Lizzie McCord I unpacked this with my partner, and then with my therapist, and the concept of social memory-foaming formed. Here’s my attempt at a formal definition: Memory-foaming is the process of losing, giving up, or having trouble forming a sense of self-identity, self-advocacy and self-determination in social situations, and molding oneself to someone else or to a situation. It often involves excessively conceding, bending, conforming and acquiescing to someone, either actively or passively, either as a reaction to specific feedback, or in anticipation of a certain response. It often involves making yourself as small, as accommodating, and/or as agreeable as possible, to the point of self-neglect and self-alienation. Memory-foaming is different from people-pleasing in its process of self-unknowing, and in its process of identity-anchoring to someone or something else. It involves actually taking the shape of whatever or whoever you come into contact with, and being an adaptable, soft, malleable cast, often in order to fit in, gain acceptance or maintain connection. In relationships, memory-foaming is different from compromise, generosity, accommodation, and balanced self-sacrifice mainly because of its characteristic ignorance or un-awareness of self, and the resulting extreme deference to someone else by default.  It often involves the actual adoption and internalization of someone else’s perceptions and desires, and therefore often involves not knowing the difference between “mine” and “theirs.” As a result, just like real memory foam, it takes a long time afterwards to understand what was “me” and what was “them.” Sometimes, that understanding never comes.

Wow. This was a fantastic read. I think Lizzie McCord & Attlee Hall's "memory foaming" metaphor describes a psychological experience common to Autistics far better than "people pleasing", "codependency" or even "fawning" ever did.