Well4756 - I Think I Should Change

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What! The! Fuck!?!

top 5 tumblr raps of the decade

5. cowboy rap

4. underwater monk

3. slurp on my gurt

2. bone removal, without approval

1. my dick don't work

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I don't know

So, James Baxter visited my university…

Congrats, Griffin.

You now have a fursona.

hey so some people are just happier & more functional not living with a partner. this isn’t necessarily even an aromantic thing. some people are just genuinely better-suited to living alone, no matter their relationship status. 

not everyone needs to move in with their partner, and moving in together doesn’t have to be the ultimate goal of every serious relationship.

Excellent thread.

D&D Class Cocktails

I originally just wanted to make cocktails for my players based on their character classes, but then I got a little too much into it and made ones for each of the twelve D&D classes! Two of them are from a Youtube channel that does this all the time (part of what inspired me to do so) and you can find links to them for the Vicious Mockery and Eldritch Patron drinks. The ones that I ended up spending time (and money) making I was able to take Insta-worthy pics of for the post. Either way, enjoy!

Barbarian Rage

½ oz Lime Juice

1 oz Tequila

1 can Stout

Lime Wedge

I feel like anything that has a head on it counts as a barbarian’s drink, but this one also has tequila to fuel the rage. Pour the stout into a tankard, crush the can against your head. Pour the tequila and lime juice into a 1.5 oz shot glass. Dunk the shot into the tankard, then crush the lime with your bare hands over the drink, ignoring the pain from any cuts sustained through combat, and drop it in. Enjoy.

Vicious Mockery

¼ Orange, Muddled

1 ½ oz. Spiced Rum

1 oz. Jaegermeister

Several dashes Peychaud’s Bitters, to taste

Orange Twist for garnish

From the lovely people over at Rocks Fall, Everyone Dies. I mean if it ain’t broken don’t fix it. Muddle the orange quarter, add the spiced rum, Jaeger, bitters, and ice, then mix and garnish with the orange twist. Bound to deal d4s of psychic damage.

Turn Undead

½ oz Elderflower Liqueur

2 oz White Rum

2 oz White Cranberry Juice

¼ oz Lime Juice

4 Basil Leaves

Club Soda

This is meant to look clear (or close to it) as if it’s pure enough to turn undead itself. Kinda like boozy holy water. Muddle two of the basil leaves. Shake the muddled basil, rum, cranberry juice, elderflower liqueur, and lime juice with ice. Then strain into a glass and top with the club soda and garnish with remaining basil.

Druidcraft

1½ oz Gin

1 oz Elderflower liqueur

½ oz Honey

¾ oz Lemon Juice

2 oz Club Soda

1 tsp Culinary Lavender

3 Sage Leaves

I actually make this one a lot… I just named it for this post. It’s very floral and light, like you would expect from a druid. Shake together the gin, elderflower liqueur, honey, lemon juice, lavender, and two muddled sage leaves with ice, then strain into a glass. Garnish with the remaining sage leaf. Little bits of the lavender getting in the drink is fine. If you don’t want to slurp them up you can easily use a straw too.

Action Surge

1 ¾ oz Vodka

¼ oz Triple Sec

4 oz Surge Soda

Splash Cranberry Juice

2 lime slices

2 maraschino cherries

This one was very tasty. Prepare a highball glass with lime slices and some maraschino cherries and half-fill with ice. Mix the vodka, triple sec, and Surge together (don’t shake, it’s soda). Pour into the prepared glass and top with a splash of the cranberry juice. Besides the Surge pun, the red slowly combining with the green almost seems like it’s the blood pumping through the fighter as they proceed to literally take an entire extra turn.

Flurry of Blows

1 oz Gin

½ oz Triple Sec

½  oz Peach Schnapps

½  oz Lemon Juice

1 oz Ginger Ale or Ginger Beer

1-2 Leaves Basil

A series of three shots to take. Careful, one is a Stunning Strike and hits much harder than the other two! Muddle your basil leaves and stir with the lemon juice and ginger ale/beer. Put the peach schnapps into one 1.5 oz shot glass, the triple sec into another, and the gin into the third. Top off each shot glass with the lemon-ginger-basil mixture. Ideally, only the one with the gin will really do anything.

Divine Smite

½ c. Apple Cider

½ tbsp Maple Syrup

1 oz Whiskey

Fresh Rosemary

2 Dried Rosemary Sprigs

This one was very good. Burn some dried rosemary and place the glass upside-down over it to let the smoke coat the inside of the glass. Shake fresh rosemary, cider, maple syrup, and whiskey with ice and strain into the smoked glass. For garnish, burn another rosemary twig, blow it out, and drop into the drink so it lets off smoky wisps. The theory for this one is the smoke is the aftermath of the paladin’s smite. I used a martini glass because I have a limited variety of glasses but I feel like the garnish floats too much. If I did it again I might use a lowball glass with rocks to keep the rosemary in place.

Hunter’s Mark

2 oz Maker’s Mark Bourbon

1 oz Lemon Juice

1 tsp Cane Sugar

Club Soda

Lemon Round

Hopefully the pun resonates. Shake the bourbon, lemon juice, and sugar with ice and strain into a lowball glass. Top with a bit of club soda and garnish with a lemon round pierced with a toothpick right through the bullseye. I did a hack job turning the toothpick into an arrow. You could probably get away with those hors d'oeuvres toothpicks that have the colorful frilled tips for the arrow’s fletching.

Sneak Attack

5-6 oz Orange Juice

1 oz Peach Schnapps

2 oz Vodka

Cream Soda

Orange Twist

Red Syrup (I just made 2:1, sugar:water ratio of simple syrup with red food coloring; grenadine was too runny when I tried it)

Named because the alcohol is completely hidden by the sugary drink. It will indeed sneak up on you. Dip the rim of the glass in the red syrup, then turn over so it drips down the glass. Stir the orange juice and vodka and pour into the glass without touching the sides (I don’t own a highball glass but that would probably look nicer). Top the drink with cream soda. Garnish with an orange twist (use those little plastic swords if you have em!)

Maximized Fireball

2 oz Fireball Shiskey

1 oz Dry Vermouth

1 Dash of Bitters

Orange Twist

Cinnamon Stick Soaked in Bacardi 151

Stir the ingredients together with ice then strain into a lowball glass. Garnish with a “flamed” orange twist (squeezed over a lit match into the glass). Light the cinnamon stick on fire, then drop into the drink. I know Fireball gets a lot of flack but I mean, come on, it’s the name of the spell. You could try that Tabasco whiskey instead if you hate Fireball. 

Eldritch Patron

2 oz Gin

½ oz Vermouth

¼ oz Black Sambuca

3 Dashes Black Walnut Bitters

Green Maraschino Cherries

Another one from Rocks Fall, Everyone Dies. Stir the gin, vermouth, Sambuca and bitters with ice then strain into a martini glass. Garnish with the green cherries. Looks like alien eyeballs in an inky darkness, as it should.

The Spellbook

12 oz Pinot Grigio

2 oz Blue Curacao

2 oz Lemonade

2 oz Simple Syrup

Blue Petal Dust (optional)

Orange Juice

Lemon-Lime soda

Fruits like oranges, cherries, and starfruit, cut into slices

Mix all the ingredients into a punch bowl, then add equal parts orange juice and the soda to fill it out. Add the fruit slices. I used starfruit because it looks wizardy, but you can always add whatever you want to your Spellbook, as long as you spend gold and time based on the spell's level. The blue petal dust can be used to make the drink opalescent, though I imagine it will be less apparent in a big bowl. Try mixing it individual glasses.

"Very approachable. Unlike landmines."