The Weaver Of Tunes

Somewhere between the weight of what’s been, the exhaustion of what is, and the fear of what might come next, remind yourself that you have survived every version of yourself before this one; and will survive this too.

Concrete Memories

Dear little one, I see you laying here again today. Another day passes by and of course I’m here to stay. We’ve been through it all, more than anyone would know. I’ve seen your smiles, your cries and the tears in yourself you tried so hard to sew. Yes, I’ve seen it all, whether messy or pretty. All of it. You’re adorable, little one, you must know you truly are even with all the wrappers from chocolates and candy bars. I’ve been here since the moment you were taken to me. From then on our relationship has never ceased and even in the silence of the night, you’ve never been truly alone. I wished every time little one, oh so desperately wished to wipe your tears and give you a little kiss. I’m always here and here I’ll of course always stay yet, sometimes I worry. I’ll surely miss you when you need to go away. I start to wonder at times if you’ll miss me like I’ll miss you, then I remember your glistening eyes and the warmth of your lingering touch. You reached out and for the first time, our hands pressed together like a light embrace. You smiled at me, oh so tenderly little one, so gently sweetheart, I almost missed the firm promise you tucked into the folds of my concrete heart. “Thank you, for being my home” those simple words. Six simple words in that soft tone of yours, little one. I knew that those words came from your heart that shone, resonated from the memories we hold together. Missing you, indeed I’ll miss you more than I’ll ever be able to say but my heart, my love, my safety raised you to fly away. With the bright lavender of my skin, I’ll always keep your lofty words here safely, waiting. Waiting. Waiting patiently for your return, I know I’ll see that lovely smile of yours again someday. After all, home was never truly this whole house but the space we created within my four walls. ~Elunara W.

—Letter to my inner child from the perspective of my childhood bedroom~

The Return

"Nothing was wrong with you for having such faith or belief in things...the friends we do not see all the time with our physical eyes. Nothing was wrong about you believing you have enough love to create the dream world we wanted to live in eventually. Nothing was wrong about you not finding other things ugly. Nothing was wrong with you for always believing that when it comes to love...nothing is entirely impossible. You were always right...you were always sweet, you were also quite fearless because you were free. You were you...but at some point we all started to tell you that's not reality and that could never be reality and all those things that felt like you deserved them...? Oh no...that must be too good to be true because 'magic isn't reality'...that 'this is not a fairytale' and I am so sorry we did that to you. I am sorry we ripped off your wings and told you to grow up and grow a new pair made of the heaviest stones and steel. They were never meant to be ripped off in the first place so I carefully removed all the hard surfaces and one day I stumbled upon the little flaps of delicate, sparkly wings still remaining underneath...tender to the touch. And I helped you weave a new pair...magical wings sewn with the thread of love, compassion and warmth and told you to fly again...let's go create the world we've always known...show me again that world we always believed in. You smiled at me and I was a bit wary if I had done enough, if I sewed the wings good enough...if everything—anything that I had done to help you was...enough. Yet...you beamed at me, pulled me down and placed a crown of the finest flowers on top my head and you held my hand and said 'Let's go...I've been waiting, I knew one day you'd return' And within those words I gained a lot of strength...I gained so much more that others may not be able to fathom it." ~Elunara W. | [Written 03/12/24]

—Short excerpt from a letter I wrote to my inner child.

'The Record Keepers' | 26/03/25

Weekly Artsy Post inspired by the wise spirit of dragonflies~ ~whimsicweaver

wait i'm literally living the life my female ancestors dreamed of i can't waste it

The Consciousness of Innocence

It grows with us; I think it is never truly lost or taken away. I think it is through experiences that we truly come to understand and appreciate our innocence and purity. Life is a journey to return or rather remove the layers within oneself that deny, push or cover the higher truth of our purest form. Innocence is not the lack of corruption nor its absence, it is the experience of that innocence despite the wounds. It is the tenderness, the moments of reprieve in spite of the hardships faced. It is not naive; innocence is knowing, it is aware. It is a state of awareness and through life we learn to appreciate our innocence amongst all the difficulties. "How can we truly appreciate the warmth...without having not experienced the harsh bite of the freezing cold? Or how can we appreciate the cool...without having not experienced the sweltering heat?" ~Elunara W. Inner monologue about Innocence and the apparent "loss" of it.

Reclaiming Impulsiveness

I, at times, gave impulsiveness a bad reputation. I've realized that on a subconscious level, I have a part of me that was convinced or encouraged to view impulsiveness as something "inherently bad or negative" and I want to reform that thought process because if we really think about it…IM PULSE…what is a pulse? A single vibration or short burst of sound, electric current, light, or other wave…impulse is really just acting from a feeling space. Sometimes consequences or reactions to a short moment of impulse could result in more heavier outcomes or even lighter outcomes. Impulsiveness isn't inherently a bad thing, it just means a person acts from the intense desire to express this 'short burst of light' from within…and that spark can either light a candle to cast a warm glow…or light a match and watch it fall to gasoline. Impulsiveness is not bad, it is how we choose to express or carry forward this short…yet precious moment of light within us.

My Diary Friend

“And most may say the life of being a diary friend is uncertain and possibly unfair but my little girl just really needs me here. So here I’ll always stay for a long, long time until we meet again for a giggle, cry or even her cute little smile.” Connecting to the heart of my precious Journal~ I have personally always loved to journal ever since I was a little young Earthling and I've viewed my journal as a very close bestfriend; an extension of myself. My journal or diary has always provided me a safe haven and I'm proud to say that they've been the prime guardian of my inner child's heart and our dreams. It may be silly from an external perspective, calling my journal a friend but it's another subtle form of unconditional love that exists within my reality and for that I am most grateful.

~Elunara W.

'Whispers of the Undead' [Visualization of an Inner Subconscious Community]

I got this very cute imagery that made me emotional...having this underworld community village that I visit and giggle and sip tea with quote unquote "monsters" and this village only came to be because one at a time….the "monsters" or "demons" don't have to wander around this seemingly desolate plane anymore……only because as we sit down with them and get to know them better……we also create a literal home…their own space for them to stay…. and that's why everyone knows us in the village and why we could have a little village in the first place….why we could have a community where one by one they are not lost or wandering feelings or souls anymore. They have their own little unique cottages or houses with their own unique belongings. I think it is so important to listen and feel into one's emotions, especially the emotions that make us feel uncomfortable. Sometimes they just want us to listen and they too deserve a space to exist even if only temporarily. ~whimsicweaver

Finding the Glimmers in my Personal Glums Pt. 1

I like to journal and note down all the little moments of magic I experience in my day-to-day life; I call these moments glimmers. Although very simple, they make me the most joyful and remind me of the gratitude that I have to be able to experience this magical life that I am living. It reminds me of the true magic we already have around us. While pondering on those moments in my glimmer logs recently, it sparked an idea with my introspection process. I wondered...what if I found the glimmers in not only my external and internal world but within the perceived flaws I have about myself; I now call these my glums (which I find absolutely adorable to say hehe). Sometimes I can still be quite harsh with myself based on my areas of weakness, though my inner voice has grown much more compassionate and even softer through the years which I am beyond grateful for. This is why I wanted to go a little deeper and really question my perceived flaws that may be hiding some of my most powerful inner strengths. Hence, the idea of finding the glimmers in my glums came along. Day #1 of Finding the Glimmers in my Glums is the problems I have sometimes with grounding my ideas because I have so much floating in my head. I have observed, especially as a creative whether it comes to my writing or even my art (in whatever form that may be) I get a little frustrated with myself because as soon as I have something to create, my head is instantly filled with so many ideas and sometimes I struggle to fully ground one idea because my mind is able to perceive multitude of directions this one concept or theme could express itself. It can be overwhelming, especially as a person who is still gradually learning to 'do' more so than 'think' about it when it comes to creating. This sometimes leads me to stall during the ideation process, more so when I'm creating art rather than writing. For quite a long time, I held this subconscious belief that this was beyond frustrating and I am aware this is indeed a weak area of mine because that stagnation can settle in if I am not careful and start overthinking or even overanalyzing it. It is definitely a part of me that I've been sometimes disheartened by. However over the years, I was truly able to find some form of glimmer within this perceived glum of mine. I was able to finally perceive the strengths within this glum; I am good at being innovative or developing an idea in multiple ways. I realized....wait...this can indeed be a strength in some way...I may be really well at ideation. This glimmer only fully settled into my subconscious recently because I have thankfully had a really sweet and helpful lecturer that brought to my awareness that I do not have to perceive this as something awful. What I perceived as personally troublesome or disheartening at times is truly one of my strengths, especially if I learn to harness it well and incorporate different mechanisms so I do not feel like I am spiraling through ideas with no sense of direction. So, in little ways, I have been incorporating small habits that help me ground an idea when I am creating. I still think about my creations, however, now I make more little lists of concepts/themes, then I choose one or two and from there I just...start. Whether that means gathering photo references, sketching all these ideas down, mixing colour palettes, etc. I just start. And thankfully, doing and starting has been the most helpful for me. I can feel that my ideas are not just spiraling; they have a sense of being more grounded and complete now. It has helped me to be in tune with the flow of creation and to see that my perceived weakness did indeed have something I can learn from it. Not to say that I still do not have my off times but now I do have little ways to help me stay on track with my ideas and expressing them in ways I would be content with when I am finished. The development process of my creations has truly been so much more fun now that I've turned pieces of my glum into beautiful glimmers~