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01.12.2024 - Blog Posts

3 months ago
i see you in the motorcycles that
crash and who am i kidding?
i dont see you, i never have
i dont even know what you look like
all i see is the mangled body they
carry into the ambulance and i know
that is you, that was you, that it'll be me
i know it by the way their faces drop,
that we are similar in the worst of ways
i wade into the waters at the docks and
hope there's still part of you left to mourn
but there never is, and there never will be
i sob next to the ruins of what once was you
because this is the best i will get
i cannot mourn people i did not know,
hell, i can hardly mourn those i did,
but i can see your blood shining in 
my reflection at the gas station and
it makes me wish we were similar in
the way we smile and not in the way
we will always lose what we love.

some things are easier than others // the ones i wish to mourn


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