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There was a time when rough sex meant some hair pulling, mutual scratching (nails down backs or w.e.) and biting kisses, maybe a spank or two to a butt cheek and was more about the quality of the thrusts involved than it was the rest of the actions. Rough sex was desperate, hurried, rushed, and a bit animalistic, but it was more often than not a mutual level of roughness. The fact that BDSM has gone incredibly mainstream has taken what used to be, in my mind, an acceptable level of roughness to something considered "vanillas" by most people and instead introduced things that at the time I was discovering sex were considered hard core -> gore into the every day lexicon and sexual expectations of the porn addicted adult is incredibly concerning. Even those within the scene are growing increasingly alarmed at what is going on in the new scene where the "rights of passage" aren't being upheld. Where people are doing these incredibly hardcore scenes without any kind of education on the safety backups integrated into them, where they aren't checking in on their partners, where they're either unable or unwilling to read their partner's non-verbal cues. I was talking to an older professional leather butch a few months ago about this, about how there's been this shift away from safe & sane to an attitude that as long as it's consensual in the beginning it's fine for a growing number of faux-doms who got all of their education on BDSM from the kink castle's pornos and have never been a sub under someone else. These faux-doms can not manage to maintain arousal outside of a scene and that the focus has shifted from the subs' needs and desires to those of the dom/domme. Face hits were taboo, even in the scene for a long time, especially closed fist ones. Now we have doms openly bragging about punching subs in the face. BDSM has expanded so rapidly and warped so much darker than it was even 10-15 years ago in comparison to what it's become now.
whenever someone says kink is unethical they’re not talking about how you’re into feet or whatever, they’re talking about men who beat, choke, and pretend to rape their girlfriends during sex and play it off like it’s #progressive