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New headcanon that Gareth's hair color changed dramatically as he grew up and by the time he sees his older brothers again he resembles a different relative than whoever he used to look most like, so they don't recognize him but he seems eerily familiar to them
Gawain: You know, you remind me of my younger brother... Gareth [mentally]: He recognizes me! Gawain:...Gaheris. Gareth [mentally]: Facepalms