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Mourning Symptoms
Warning: Dissociation, mentions of mental breakdowns, character’s death and canon typical violence.
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The death was unexpected, it left all of them feeling empty and finding their own ways to grieve.
And the way it happened?
Well, that too left a lot to be desired.
***
First few days were a blur for Jazz. She honestly was a bit ashamed to admit it, as an upcoming psychologist but it seemed like she dissociated a lot. She would sit at the table, lay on her bed or even start reading her textbooks and then she would realise a few hours have passed.
It was scary when it happened the first time. And then three more times after that. But if Jazz was one thing, it was being highly self aware of her mental state so it didn't take too long to figure out what's going on.
Most afternoons, the young woman would find herself lying in bed, looking at her ceiling.
Her mind would wander, usually, ultimately, taking her to the time of accident. Making her wonder if she could have done something differently. If she could do more. If anything would change the outcome.
Her thoughts would blend with each other and Her Head would start filling up with static-like, white noise. It was just like going underwater, when noises became less and less, until exchanged for the feeling of plunged lug holes, strained from the pressure below the waves.
Her ears would become deaf to her mother's screams from downstairs, telling her about dinner, then supper. Then deaf to words meant to bring comfort. Told through the door as Madeline Fenton worried and promised empty ‘everything is going to be okay’ and ‘we are here if you need us’ before going to turn in and fall into uneasy slumber.
Jazz was deaf to it all. Her eyes unseeing, unfocused, no longer taking in her ceiling.
She wasn't doing anything, just existing. Just losing time. Sometimes she would shake out of the stupor. Jazz would realise what time it was and began doing anything to keep the thoughts away, forsaking the sleep for the night.
Sometimes she would fall into hectic slumber littered with stormy dreams. Waking up during different hours each time.
After those, worst days passed and she finally regained some semblance of time awareness. It had been more than a week since the accident.
Jazz tried all possible ways to deal with guilt and grief. She tried to reason with herself, tried to rationalise it, compartmentalize her thoughts and finally she broke down.
It helped somewhat, she would think.
But it would take a long while for her to feel normal again. The feeling of a rock in her chest grew and she knew, the grief and guilt would not ease anytime soon.
**
Sam was once again lost in thoughts, laying on her bed.
In the month that followed the incident she seemed to lose a lot of time like that.
She still couldn't believe what happened. One of her friends was gone, this time for good and there was nothing she could do. This time there was no supernatural solution. No coming back from the dead.
She remembered, like through fog when a week after, she still held hope. The second, she snuck into the lab, took The Spectre speedster and flew herself to the Time keep.
Sam yelled at the Time Ghost until her throat felt raw and ached.
Then she was gently sent out of the Clockworks keep and cried in the safety of her room.
She couldn’t talk afterwards but she knew without doubt. That accident was partially her fault.
She had been responsible for her friend's death. Twice.
So she did what she always has done.
She kept busy.
In following weeks Samantha created three separate new campaigns dedicated to saving the planet. Remodeled her bedroom four times, until it looked just like at the beginning and created fourteen separate diy articles of clothing.
All in all Sam was doing everything she could in order not to think, what wasn’t an easy task. Her mind was dead set on going back to the accident, again and again. And once she started thinking about the incident, her mind was reminding her about the portal one. Two times her friend died. Two times and only one of them brought the dead one back.
Most nights Sam shed tears in the safety of her bedroom, always making sure no traces of them were left in the morning. Her mind was not a nice place to be these days and her grandmother noticed.
So if there were days when both of them sat holding each other's hands and talking about nothing and everything, pretending in front of Sam’s parents that everything was okay, it was only between them.
**
Tucker wasn't faring much better than his Gothic friend. Not only he worried for all People dear to him, he developed obsession in his own right. Always checking where everyone's where. Always noting whatever words he said that could hurt them and apologising whenever there was a slight chance they did.
Tucker was very pointedly not thinking about what transpired four weeks prior but all signs that something was wrong were there.
The boy was quieter than usual, skittish and keeping track of everyone he cared about.
His parents noticed of course, their son, usually an open boy, was closing up and hiding things from them. He was obsessively noting every detail, every little thing and overthinking everything. It was like Tucker was afraid everyone would disappear.
Breaking point came when his father found the document on his computer, detailing two weeks worth of every single move of both him, his wife and their boy’s friends.
All the times they left their respective houses, what they were wearing, when they got back. It was all there and a worrying sign.
Intervention came soon after that and whatever Tucker’s parents expected was not almost three hours long babbling and denying of everything before a full on breakdown that lasted equally as long.
Tucker didn’t outright admit what happened but he lost the possibility of ignoring that everything was okay.
The road to his mind’s stability would be long but Tucker’s parents were ready to help his son, even if they didn’t know what happened to send him into such state… yet.
**
Valerie Gray was sitting on her bed, out of everyone she seemed to be the most put together it looked like. She saw Sam and Tucker at school and they were a mess.
Just last year Valerie wouldn’t even know there was anything wrong with them but she got to know them through Danny and knew they weren’t okay. Not even remotely and even if they tried to make it seem like everything was fine, putting on a brave facade, at this point there was no fooling her.
To be completely fair to them, Valerie was doing exactly the same thing they did. She was acting like everything was normal, like an accident didn’t happen… like she didn’t play a part in it.
Valerie ate dinner with her father and went to her room, only then she allowed herself to show weakness, sliding down the wall onto the floor. She curled her legs to her chest and turned her head. Her eyes caught the glimpse of the box underneath her bed and she pulled it out of there.
Opening it, she didn’t know what to feel and her Red Huntress costume didn’t have an answer for her either. Only thing she knew was that she would not wear it again. Or at least for a very long while.
It was just like what Phantom told her once before, „can you really take part in destroying the human?”. And the worst irony of all was, he would never be able to ask her that again.
Not to mention, the answer was obvious - yes.
Valerie shut the box and kicked it back under the bed, hot tears already falling.
**
The knock on the door was not expected at four in the afternoon but as luck would have it he was the only one home and therefore had to open them.
„Hello Daniel” greeted Vlad Masters smiling in the nicest possible way a millionaire and reformed villain could.
Danny sighed realising that since Vlad was in fact (kind of) reformed and was actually bothering to knock, therefore he would have to let him in.
Black haired boy stepped aside, motioning the inside of the house.
„Come in.” He said, prompting a wider smile that looked a tad bit too like a villain one.
As Vlad made it inside the house with an actual leather bag that, judging from the smell, contained snacks Danny felt relief.
For the past three months Vlad was trying, more for Dani than him really but he was trying. Today Danny didn’t have to worry about poison in his food. What was more worrying was why Vlad was at his house in the first place. As subtle as he could, Danny shot a message to Jazz.
„What brings you here today?” Asked the younger half ghost, deciding to thread carefully.
Vlad moved to the kitchen like he owned the place and proceeded to deposit his bag on the counter, before proceeding to pull out more and more containers full of food.
„I thought I would drop by.” Intoned the older man, still putting out the boxes „Dani likes to hang out with you and I cannot have my beloved daughter and dear godson going hungry now, can I?” Vlad hummed to himself.
Danny stilled and shifted to a more tense position as his ex-enemy continued to hum to himself while unwrapping the food.
„Vlad, do you remember what happened five weeks ago?” The teen asked warily.
The hand that was about to put a box of meat rolls on the counter stilled, the man’s eyes widened.
„No…”
It wasn’t the first time it happened and Danny knew exactly what was coming.
„Vlad…” started Danny, deciding to be direct. „Danielle is gone.”
„No!” Vlad snarled, meat rolls falling onto the floor as he swirled, his eyes blazing red.
„Yes, Vlad she is gone. Dead. Permanently.”
Vlad lunged, shifting mid way. Danny let his transformation wash over him as he turned them both intangible and let them fall through the floor and into the lab.
His parents never learned the truth and it was way easier to explain the damages done to the lab then the ones sustained by the living room.
Two ghosts grappled for a while, Vlad snarling like a wild animal.
Phantom kicked him off of him and blasted him with ectoblasts.
Vlad deflected and their battle continued for a while longer. They used ectoblasts, threw each other towards walls and onto various appliances, Dany knew well, he will have to repair and grapple with each other. As the time went by, Plasmius attacks kept getting weaker.
Finally Dany pinned Plasmius to the floor, feeling that the ghost was shivering all over. Dark circles moved up and down, revealing human Vlad again.
„She can’t be gone.” Whispered the other half ghost. „She can’t”.
Phantom let go and found himself being latched onto as a grown man wept.
Danny’s eyes were empty.
**
Vlad was lucky, the rest of the Fentons went out on a Jazz college festival thing. Otherwise it would be an awkward situation all around.
It took the man two hours to calm down enough to take his medications and nearly another one before he left, promising to not forget taking the pills again.
Left alone again, Danny stood in front of the Portal, once again in his Phantom form.
He opened the portal and flew into the Zone, moving towards his most frequent destination lately.
Landing behind Clockwork who was monitoring other timelines in his keep, Danny straightened up.
„Hello Danny.” Greeted the Ancient of time, without even turning around. „Ready for our next lesson?” There was amusement in his voice.
„I am.” A short answer came, more and more common these days.
There was silence for a minute before the older being shifted into his adult form and with amusement colouring his voice spoke, finally turning to face Danny.
„Ask what you want to ask.”
Danny kept silent for a moment longer, his eyes hardened and teeth clenched even harder.
„If I do this… is it possible? Were you telling the truth?” Danny’s voice was steady, he clearly wanted confirmation.
Clockwork shifted into his old form and smiled condescendingly.
„I did not lie Daniel. If you become the king of all ghosts, as per your right.” Clockwork began flying closer to young Halfa. „You will have enough power and authority to bring her back.”
Danny looked at his mentor, at his grandfather. Danny looked at the time.
Truth was, Danny didn’t mourn Danielle, he went ahead and tried to find another way. That way turned out to be, for him to forsake his freedom, not just yet but eventually.
He glanced back at Clockwork who was still smiling.
„Shall we begin?” The question sounded like he had a choice.
Danny’s eyes glowed brighter.
„Yes.”