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Hi tumblr, I wrote this to drag in my friends but you get it as well. Intended for newcomers and people who need some quick initial grounding for DL-set fic. I make no pretensions to total accuracy, we're running on 100% Vibes.
It is a BEAUTIFUL DAY in a small area of Minecraft and fourteen people are FINDING LOVE.
We start with BDUBS, who is Just A Little Guy with a powerful voice and a nose for drama. Bdubs is fresh out of a series of entanglements with friends ETHO, IMPULSE and other hermitcrafters in a previous series where they had a variety of tumultuous relationships and all got murdered. Bdubs is excited to quickly realise his soulmate is IMPULSE, a large, quiet, agreeable type also in the hermitcraft polycule, who given enough time and thinking space is able to break minecraft apart like a rubik's cube. In this quickly functional and loving relationship, Impulse inspires Bdubs to build for beauty over defence, and they settle into a MID-CENTURY MODERN HOUSE and keep being hit up for food by all their less competent friends.
'Less competent' does not include ETHO, a murder machine with a keen fighting edge and no sense of direction, who has tragically been ejected from the hermitcraft polycule because they've all married each other and/or Scott. Etho is initially wary about being soulbonded to JOEL [Smallishbeans], largely known for stealing other people's wheat and being Grian's best murder friend in Last Life, something that doesn't often endear you to anyone. Joel switches all his energies to being a Huge Etho Fanboy and Etho is reluctantly charmed. They build the RELATIONSHIP--a two-masted schooner on top of a hill--commit some minor crimes, and look forward to the PvP endgame when SmallEtho will be the most terrifying team on the server.
Meanwhile having no luck with mining is TANGO, a positive ball of energy who tells everyone he is not a builder despite being one of Minecraft's most impressive redstone architects. Tango is hopefully prodding everyone, excited to find a soulmate (as long as it's not Scar, because he doesn't want to die). Tango's long history of redstone projects do not stop him from ping-ponging haphazardly around the server failing to equip himself until he is blown up by a creeper, leading to a very awkward chat at spawn with JIMMY [SolidarityGaming], who has just blown up as well, because it turns out they're soulmates.
JIMMY, a wet cat relentlessly bullied by everyone who knows him, is initially gleeful to have the high ground for once in his life, but quickly realizes Tango is both good at bullying people and also distraught at having killed them both. They fall into a sweet and incompetent flurry of supportive activity and mutual hype during which Jimmy takes twenty minutes to make a water bucket and Tango is delighted for him. Against all odds, they collect several animals and start to build THE RANCH.
BIGB is still looking for love, and can optimistically find joy in being bonded to any one of his friends (except Scar please not Scar). After a series of disappointments where everyone else is also devastated not to be bonded to the sweetest person on the server, BigB eventually finds REN, a character who could make a convincing three-act drama out of mildly spoiled milk, who immediately evicts everyone from his cave so he can choose carpets with BigB. Ren has prepared multiple plans for his soulmate and is excited to tell BigB about them in a monologue that lasts through the entire construction of BOX, a cobblestone box meant to repel invaders through its sheer retro ugliness. Ren proceeds to invite everyone for tea. They do not show up.
GRIAN, a prank-motivated chaos nexus, is horrified to find he is soulbonded to SCAR, a previous ally of Grian's whom he beat to death with his bare hands on a desert mountain and then divorced so hard it nearly set the server on fire. Scar, a happy-go-lucky type prone to fatal accidents and surprisingly chill about their mutual history, is nonetheless easily distracted by animals and ignores the soulmate race in favor of obsessing over a herd of pandas modded to look like his cat. Grian decides not to tell Scar they're soulbound, instead following him around in affection and exasperation until he finally drops several stalactites on Scar's head to drive the point home, hooks him with a fishing rod, and drags him back to his base. Grian has started to build the spiked wooden RED VELVET KEEP; Scar, after his pandas are cruelly evicted from the keep, builds the PANDA RESERVE.
SCOTT, a man rapidly running out of patience with everyone else's shenanigans, and CLEO, who never had any patience in the first place, efficiently round the whole server in hope of finding their soulmates. This act of emotional vulnerability goes unrewarded when their respective soulmates fail to show up, and Cleo and Scott decide to defy destiny and settle down as a pair on their own terms, where they begin to plot crimes of their own, an opportunity which honestly they deserve. They build TWO PERFECTLY OKAY HOUSES separated by a nice BRIDGE and are FINE WITHOUT THEIR SOULMATES.
MARTYN, a man who when two or more people are gathered magically turns it into an event of which he is the emcee, has spent the first episode accomplishing a series of daring deeds together with PEARL. They raid the Nether and sell what they can find. This does them no good when they finally trail back to Scott and Cleo, by process of elimination their soulmates, who immediately divorce them for abandonment. Presumably to keep the streak going, Martyn breaks up with Pearl as well and RUNS OFF.
PEARL, rejected in turn by Scott, Cleo and Martyn, is Absolutely Fine. No, Really. She hasn't just experienced repeated trauma at all, and is definitely feeling on good terms with humankind. Pearl settles down with a WOLF, which is definitely not going to come back to bite anyone, and the EPISODE ENDS with the PIECES ALL ON THE CHESSBOARD.