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D&d Items - Blog Posts
Magic Item Idea
Paper Knife
Description: A piece of paper with a drawing of a knife. The piece of paper can’t be burned or destroyed as long as it has charges. Per each charges used, the knife drawn gets more and more covered in blood. Recharges every day.
Functionality: 23/day you can touch the piece of paper and point at an enemy that immediately suffer 1d4 piercing damage, or 1d6 if outside of combat (this action starts combat)
Inspiration: @trilliath’s mom
I was explaining to my mom about how tumblr is excited for the ides of march tomorrow, and celebrating the assassination of a corrupt politician etc. etc. and she goes, "Oh! So what do we wear!"
And I said, "IDK a knife?"
And she said, "Ohh, I don't think I can get away with that at the conference. But I know, I'll draw a picture of a knife and carry it around in my pocket and get a giggle out of it whenever I look in my pocket!"
Anyway my mom's brilliant and I think we should all carry paper knives tomorrow.
Item Idea
Legendary Sponge
Description: a yellow square sponge, it looks like any other normal sponge except that it won’t suffer from any environmental effects, not even the loss of water or the rising of temperatures.
Functionality: Grants the holder with resistance to cold, lightning, thunder and fire damage. Does not stack with other spells or items.
Inspiration: Now there is @markrosewater
I would have GREATLY preferred the Spongebob creatures be original designs. As funny as Squidward being a "Horror" is it is absolutely disappointing to see Spongebob be a Human and not a Sponge
There are no legendary Sponges.
Cursed Item Idea
Hat of Gold (Cursed)
Desc- yes Sans, the name is a pun on “Heart of Gold” I’m a comedy genius what did you expect? 💅🏻 (I’m cringe)
Description: A hat that every time it is worn for the first time in a day by someone materialise 15 gp in their hands or in their vicinity. From that moment they will be cursed to talk in a strange way by pronouncing the words much longer than needed, marking the accents way more than correct and by also rising their pitch just a bit enough to sound different but not enough to sound like a mouse.
Functionality: Along with the 15 gp, it gives -3 Charisma to anyone who wears the hat, until the curse is lifted after 24 hours from when it was worn for the first time in the day.
Inspiration: the post above ⬆️ @graegrape
i am once again reminded of the fact that toby fox is a genius at comedic pacing
Magic Item Idea
Description: A magic scroll that can store a spell of the owner’s choice (or can be changed once per king rest) that buffs the spell stored but debuffs all the similar ones that the owner casts (not counting those casted using items).
Functionality: Once per long rest the player chooses a spell to store in the scroll or decide if they’ll change the already stored spell or keep it. The spell stored gains a +(3+X) dices that the player can split into:
Damage roll
To hit roll
Other rolls
The X stands for the types of damage that the spell deals/protect/affects in any way. The addition of the 3+X dices can be done only after having rolled that, example:
Matt rolls to hit (4) so spends one of the (3+1) dices but fail again. Nothing happens anymore.
Liz rolls to hit (22) but still fails so she spends two of her (3+2) dices going up to 36, that hits. She then rolls for damage, doing a total of 25 fire damage and 15 necrotic damage. But since she has still 3 dices and REALLY wants the monster dead, she uses her 3 dices again, more on the fire damage because those are d8 while the necrotic uses d12, rolling 8 and 5 on the additional fire damage and 11 on the necrotic damage killing the beast.
In the next turn (or encounter) the player who has the scroll still has the maximum (3+X) dices, until the spell slots run out, the scroll will work.
BUT
If the stored spell deals fire damage, all the other fire damage-dealing spells (not magic items) will receive disadvantage in the damage rolls
This happens to all the types of damage that the stored spell deals.
That means that Matt’s psychic spell, even if it didn’t landed, and Liz fire/necrotic spell are the only ones that deal a noticeable amount of those types of damage.
If the spell doesn’t deal any damage nor affects any type of damage in particular the spell will be rejected by the scroll.
If the spell heals, it can be used. Use +(1+Z) where Z is the number of targets (you count too, even if it’s only a self spell, so the minimum is +2). But gives disadvantage to all the other healing spells.
Inspiration: the meme above (this is an old draft, I didn’t know yet that links were easier and I’ve already wrote too much to change it) thanks @catchymemes ❤️
Magic Item Idea
12ft Magic ladder
Description: A magic 12ft ladder that you can make appear from thin air when facing a 10ft or higher wall.
Functionality: You can roll a number of d4 equal to your level to make the ladder higher.
Inspiration: this meme ⬇️
Magic Item
Cursed Letter
Description: A letter written in a magic language that translates immediately to the language that the creature reading knows the best. The writing is full of grammatical errors and random letters are in the middle of words, the capitals are randomised and the content of the text is unreadable.
Functionality: If a creature knowing how to read at least one language tries to read the letter it has to roll an Intelligence save,
If it fails they’ll have to roll another one, if they fail that too they’ll think that the letter is written in a special code, if they succeed they’ll be confused for 5 minutes
If they succeed they understand that the text as no meaning, but will still be confused at why this letter exist in the first place, becoming confused for 5 minutes.
Note: the 5min confusion can be stopped by a 15+ roll on Wisdom (1 roll only), the effects of the 5min confusion are the same after the spell Confusion
Inspiration: A scam message that was written in some kind of ancient English by someone with arthritis while having a stroke, that a bot sent to me this morning.
Magic Item
Sandwich of Chaotic Layers
Description: A sandwich made of suspicious ingredients and a curious amount of cheese, when eaten it gives random effects to character. If it is kept in the inventory long enough it might attract mice and other rodents, if it is kept for even longer at every rest of the character with the Sandwich of Chaotic Layers in their inventory loses 2d12 of HP while those near a radius of 10 ft lose 2d6 of HP after the rest, due to the radiations that the Sandwich of Chaotic Layers emits.
Functionality: Use a bonus action to eat the sandwich, a normal action if you’re size is smaller than Medium, then roll d for the effects.
Results:
You get teleported inside a radius of 5-20 ft not occupied by another creature, you can decide exactly where
The scent of warm bread surrounds the player and up to 5 allies, they heal 2d10 HP and gain 20 Temporary hit points
You get two charges of a garlic scented breath attack that causes confusion and disadvantage to all roles against you and saving throws to all your enemies in a 15 ft cone, but also repel your allies to at least 5 ft from you
A bread wall circles around your enemy and it blocks their vision and movement. To escape your enemy has to deal at least 10 x S of damage, where S is the size of the enemy (1 is Tiny, Medium is 3, Gargantuan 6…), to make a hole big enough to escape
From the mouth of the player comes out a steam of water that deals 4d6 of water damage to those in a line of 20ft in front of the player, with a roll of Athletics higher than 12 the player can move while spitting water to aim to other enemies, this however will deal 2d6 to all enemies hurt instead of 4d6.
A cheese armour surrounds the player, giving them +2 AC but also giving them a -10ft of movement speed
The player’s movement speed doubles but it may randomly oink even after the effect wears off, until they take a rest
Wheel of cheese. For 17 turns. Aka 289 seconds. Aka 4 minutes and 49 seconds. Aka Wheel of cheese for five minutes.
3d4 mice gets teleported in a 5 ft radius from you, you can control them and give them order for 6 turns, after that they’ll become normal mice
A cloud of lint surrounds an enemy, they’ll suffer 2d6 more fire damage if attacked with a fire spell or fire related attacks, the same goes with 1d12 of lightning damage. Until the enemy is surrounded by the lint cloud it gets disadvantage on rolls to hit. The cloud disappear once a fire or lightning attack successfully damage the enemy
A rideable Large cushion of magical focaccia appears in front of the players. The cushion can fly and has 350 HP but no attacks. After receiving 300 HP, reaching a total of 100 ft of movement or after 7 turns the flying focaccia gently lands and then disappear.
3d8 of radiant damage to all creatures in a radius of 35ft from the player (including) the party gets a -10 to the total damage if they have spent at least 2 rests with the Sandwich of Chaos Layers in the inventory of someone.
Inspiration: this silly reblog list ⬇️
Thanks to @garaks-padded-bra @acrowbyanyothername @buglyteeth @imhaley @ronzyponyo @funnywormz @deepestturtlepielover @willowandthesagaofgayyearning @summer-azure @spacetronomyfan @spocktopodes ❤️
Magic Item
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Coffin of Sleep
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Description: a nice coffin with cushions and elegant decorations on the wood, it changes size to accommodate who wants to enter it.
Functionality: if somebody decides to sleep inside the coffin, it will look like they’re dead. Pale skin, no heartbeat, cold body, no response when somebody brings up the dead’s Browser History, no activity, it will also show fake wounds to match the scene. All those who witnessed the character enter the coffin will have +6 to all the rolls that involve in some way the coffin, from creating a fake story of how the character is dead to lifting the coffin hand running with it, no restrictions on charisma rolls either.
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Insurance fraud in D&D babyy
Mount Idea
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Mining War Elephants
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Description: Elephants with tusks that are made of various metals, from iron to mithril and even adamantium, that they can make them spin at high speed to use them as underground drills to mine or to attack their enemies. The material of their tusks resembles their strength and power, every 3 months they fall and new ones reform in two days, in this time the material can change into something weaker or stronger if the strength of the Mining War Elephant has changed, it only depends on how strong the mount has become.
The tusks can also be manually replaced with ones that are made of stronger materials. Creating from 0 new Tusks will take 1d6 days (max 4 if the forger is a Dwarf, max 3 if they’re a blacksmith or an artisan, max 2 if both) to create two tusks, then you need to wait for the Elephant’s tusk to fall naturally, to put the forged tusks into their place, roll both an Animal Handling and a Medicine check, if the result is higher than 14 you succeed, on a lower roll the Elephant will refuse new tusks for 24h because your player hurtled them on accident. (You have two attempts, after that normal tusks will grow and you’ll need to wait 3 months). Only Dwarves can persuade the Mining War Elephants into retrying on the same day after a fail.
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Inspiration: the meme of @dwarf-posting about the epic fact shared by @zinjanthropusboisei (thanks to both!)
View on Twitter
These pictures are killing me
Magic Item Idea
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Short notice Letter
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Description: A letter with a very generic phrase asking for forgiveness advising the recipient that who is writing the letter can’t come to work due to the lack of rest. Paladins and Warlock can use this to restore spell slots. The amount of uses is the same as the number of stamps on the back of the letter, after each use one stamp disappear.
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Functionality: A paladin or a warlock licks their thumb (or any other limb if the thumb is unavailable) and put it on one of the stamps, roll a d20
Results:
1 - The stamp disappear and nothing happens
2/5 - Spell slots under lever 2 gets completely restored
6/9 - Spell slots under level 5 gets completely restored
10/14 - All the spell slots gets completely restored
15/19 - All the spell slots gets completely restored, one spell slot under level 3 gets a temporary +1
20 - All the spell slots gets completely restored, all the spell slots under level 3 gets a temporary +2
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Inspiration: the meme above (Thanks @kimabutch)
I’m sorry, I can’t come into work today. I didn’t get a long rest and god gave me a point of exhaustion. All my skill checks are at disadvantage.
Magic Item
Lucky Hair Bow
Description: an extremely saturated pink hair bow that makes whoever wears it feel prettier. Only a roll higher than 20 on Investigating the Hair Bow will confirm that the Hair Bow is magic, otherwise it looks like a normal Hair Bow.
Functionality: +2 to Charisma score. Every time you have to roll 1 or more d100, you roll 2 more d100s, you can choose the result between the options (you can choose only a number of results equal to the original number of dices to roll).
Example: Astarion rolls 3d100, then rolls 2d100 thanks to his Lucky Hair Bow, the results:
Obtain 25 gp
You lose all your spell slots of level 3 and higher
Obtain 25 gp
In your next encounter you get +3 initiative.
You get teleported into the Plane from where you where born, if you already are there you get teleported into a random level of the Nine Hells
Annie (the player who plays Astarion) obviously chooses to obtain 50 gp and the +3 initiative, so 3 options like the 3d100 she had to roll originally.
The choice will be done by the player, but the character will think of it as a strike of good luck and say that it’s all thanks to their lucky hair bow. It is.
Inspiration: The remix of the song “Lucky” from the “Lucky Twice”, “Lucky (I'm So Lucky Lucky)” …yes the Nightcore remix …yes I’m transfem …yes I’ve got 30 different versions into the same Spotify playlist except the original
Magic Item
Kobold Bank
Description: A small Kobold made of porcelain, you can put coins in there and it will possibly add a few more when you collect them.
Functionality: Xd4 - (X/2) Where X is the total of coins you put inside the Kobold Bank. To function, X needs to be an even number, if you shake the Kobold Bank and X is an odd number you roll 1d4
1= nothing comes out
2= Only half of X comes out
3= 2/3 of X come out (round down)
4= X coins come out
Inspiration: The meme above (thanks @piratequeen1017)
Magic Item
The Blindfold of Faith
Description: An indestructible Blindfold that a paladin can wear when their deity thinks that they’re slowly breaking the oath or simply when they want to prove their deity of how much they have faith in them.
Stats: When a paladin put the blindfold on they obtain +5 Wisdom, +1 Dexterity. If the passive perception of the paladin (with the +5 Wisdom) is lower than 15, the +1 Dexterity turns into an +2 Passive Perception.
Abilities:
Blind faith: two times per short rest the paladin can pray and take 4d6 slashing damage, their eyes starts to bleed under the blindfold, but for the next 6 rounds their magic attacks that deal radiant damage and those who their deity gave them, deal an additional 2d6 slashing damage and a bonus 3d4 force damage if the enemy has eyes.
Sacrilege: since the Blindfold is indestructible and sacred, the only way to take it off is if the paladin willingly choose to do so. If the deity thinks that it’s too soon because the paladin didn’t prove completely their faith, the deity can punish them. (Remember that taking off the blindfold obviously makes you lose the stats bonuses, even after proving your faith)
-2 to Wisdom, -1 to the other stats
-5 wisdom, -2 Constitution
-7 Wisdom, -5 Constituion
-7 Wisdom, -7 Constitution, -5 Passive Perception
-7 Wisdom, -7 Constitution, -7 Passive Perception, -2d6 to hit or -2d6 damage dealt to enemies whatever the type (if the damage roll is lower this become -2d4, if lower it does nothing)
-7 Wisdom, -7 Constitution, -7 Passive Perception, -2d6 to hit, -2d6 damage dealt to enemies whatever the type (if the damage roll is lower this become -2d4, if lower it does nothing)
The punishment will be decided by the D(eity)M.
In case the -2d6 damage will make the damage 0 or lower, the damage dealt will be 1 x N, where N is the number of types that the original attack dealt, ex: if the attack normally deals radiant and bludgeoning it’s 1 x 2 = 2)
Inspiration: I played after a long time a paladin on Foundry, but had a problem where I saw everything white, plus the DM for no reason decided that my deity (Tyr) didn’t like me for something that I did (I didn’t do anything but okay), so I said “Hey, it would be cool if my character blinded himself to try to regain Tyr’s approval”. The DM stopped DMing that campaign before I could try that :(