Endogenic Friendly - Blog Posts

Noticing and acknowledging and even accepting what it feels like to co-front has been a very big hurdle for us. Maybe because I'm not sure I've ever seen anyone else describe the sensation in quite the same way as we experience it. It's a little hard to explain properly but I found some images that kind of translate the feeling.

tw: images may mess with eyes or impose feelings of unreality

Most of the time we feel like 'ourselves' (i.e. the one correlated with our irl name/Des) but who is easily influenced by the others.

Only, when one of the others front, Des doesn't necessarily leave front or even develop amnesia and can usually still speak. It feels like the above images, with two beings occupying the same space. Afterwards Des will remember the basics of what transpired but as if it happened to another person or was a dream--with details missed and emotions muted or lost from the time.

caretaker casually revealing they’re a bear is not something i put on my 2025 system bingo card

my fandom is actually composed of quite a few plural collectives- and many of the fandoms we're in (besides a select few) have creators who are outwardly plural friendly and have supports for plural collectives (eg. pluralkit). so, id say in my experience personally in the few inbetweens ive interacted with my own fandom, its mostly been fine, besides the few outliers here and there, along with some strange ships id rather not think about again... - sun ☀

hello. systems. plurals. especially introtives/introjects/what have you. etc. i have a question! a few actually. what would you say your general experience(s) with fandom has been like? has it been well? did you feel respected in fandom spaces? id assume itd vary between them so if youve seen any patterns id like to know them as well. weird as hell post ik ik but work with me here

Cw: blood mentions

*??? simply looking outside for insects. (right after a snowfall)*

*gets a splinter and stares at the blood coming out of it for a good few moments*

???: well, shit. this skin is weak as fuck. pussy ass skin.

*body starts to feel heavy and light-headed*

???#2: i feel faint..

???: DAMN YOU PUSSY OKAY ILL PUT THE GLOVE BACK ON BUT IF IT GETS INFECTED THATS ON YOU.

Blurry (since ive been seeing a lot of system quote stuff recently…. and a lot of us say really funny shit while we’re just literally doing normal things. if only i knew who they were.)

suppressed memories are so confusing because like you go your entire life not knowing that anything similar to that situation ever existed but one day it just clicks and it’s just there now?? like HUH?

tw: identity crisis

hey brain. nice joke!! can i have my identity back now please?

me when i have a trauma disorder because i experienced trauma

Hey, you all doing okay?

Just figured I'd ask :)

- ✨️✏️

Yeah! We're doing great, thank you for asking! We told a friend (singlet) about our plurality recently and they took it really well, so we're in a great mood at the moment! Our birthday is also coming up, so lots of joyous occasions recently, lol.

Do you enjoy being plural? I’ve heard mixed answers, mostly because some anti-Endo people are hardcore insistent that you have to be suffering to be plural. We enjoy it some days and don’t others!

Hey! I'd definitely say that the *disordered* part of plurality is something I dislike and wish I didn't have, but plurality in itself we do enjoy. We do love our headmates, even though relationships with others may be a bit strained. We have a similar pattern where some days we may hyperfixate on it intensely, and other days we absolutely hate it. There's no 'one right answer'. We love our headmates because they've protected us- we bond with them because they protected us. Some may hate their headmates, some may love their headmates. Personally, we try and make the best of it, especially since for us it's a long-term process to recovery. Focusing only on the bad parts of our disorder only hurts us. It's a spectrum, and nobody has to fit into one little box in order to be considered plural. ♥

//: can we jjust talk about anti-endos for a second?

//: it’s just like... imagine basically saying to someone, “you aren’t real” “ii don’t believe in your existence and you thinking you exist is harmful”

//: it feels hypocritical. it IS hypocritical. because thats what ssome closed-minded singlets say to traumagenics too, surely

//: just because we didn’t form from trauma doesn’t mean we didn’t form at all.

//: and so what? wwe’re just existing. we aren’t hurting anyone.

//: we understand why anti-endos believe what they do about us, and why they believe us eexisting is harmful to them, but it still isn’t right and it’s still hypocritical. y’know?