( Help This Man - He Doesn't Emotion Well. ) - Blog Posts

“human” ; hanzo & isanami

continued from [ x ] ; @smiletorn

      The fact that he didn’t see this coming was absolutely ridiculous – somehow, Isanami was always just Isanami. The fact that he was crying, the fact that he was emotional, didn’t stop her from doing what she always did. Which? Was taking care of her team, in the only way she knew how. By being unapologetically herself. Including, but not limited to, forcing her teammates to make “fish-faces” to stop them from hurting themselves.

      When she did so, he released his bite rather then fight her. She was right, he shouldn’t act that way. Least of all in front of her. ( . . . no. he shouldn’t act that way at all. not now, when he was part of a team. )

      The Fire Brave did nod then – a silent agreement not to do that again. And to listen to the other. His eyes still glistening a little, he just focuses his molten eyes on the other’s amber hues. He would listen. He wouldn’t run away. And, another way to show it? He hugs her just a little bit more. He wouldn’t disappear. He’d wait. He’d listen. It was the very least Hanzo could do for his fellow BRAVE. Let alone the youth he was confessing all of this to. . .

      When she started going into detail about all their adventures, he felt his lips twitch ever-so-slightly upwards. A small smile forcing itself onto his lips, despite the somber mood. They had a lot of shenanigans going for them, as members of this team, he’d found himself frequently at her side. Enjoying her company. He didn’t mind her giving him unreasonable requests. It wasn’t out of tolerance, it wasn’t him just putting up with her, it was out of the fact that he was simply glad to be at her side. And if that was how she tolerated him? He was happy to comply. And as their time together had increased, so had the amount of times they sought out each other…

      As she kept talking, as he kept listening, he barely noticed he stopped crying. He felt his chest tighten – f e a r, as he recognized it now, as she kept talking. However, he felt himself take a breath when she said she didn’t hate him. And? That if he wanted to be her friend… he would have to live in the f u t u r e.

      What a request. As a shinobi, he’s always been a tool. He’d never planned anything for himself – and the time he did, it was out of spite. And that hadn’t ended well. That had ended up with him losing an arm, and being frozen in a block of ice for a year… but… it had also ended in T H I S. So, was it really… b a d? He’d let her finish. Staying silent, as promised, as she spoke… “Manuel labor, letting you tease me, and living in the future? Living in the present? Not the past… I think… I think those t-terms are acceptable. I can live with that.” He tries to tease back - he knew his voice was a little flat. But? If she was trying to lighten the mood, who was he to ruin it?

      He finally spoke again – his voice still raw. Pained. But, the tears in his eyes now were… relief. Not pain. “I won’t… disappear, Isanami. I promise you, I won’t… I won’t change how I act towards you. If you’re still here. If you’re… still willing to accept me at your side? I won’t… run away. I won’t hide myself behind walls. I don’t… want to push you away. I want to be here. I want… I want to be human.” It was terrifying – to admit that he wanted that. Even if he was absolutely horrified by his emotions.

      Even if he was tortured by what he did – if she wanted him to get his head out of the past, and start living for the here and now? He’d… try.

      “You’ll… have to forgive me. I won’t be very good at living in the here and now right away. But… I’ll learn. I’ll keep learning. I won’t… I won’t give up. If you’re willing to wait, if you’re willing to put up with me being just… stupidly bad at living for the future? If you’re willing to wait for me… I’ll keep trying until I catch up with you. I promise.” Hanzo very rarely used those words – he didn’t make promises. He didn’t make personal deals. As a shinobi – personal anything, was a failure on his part. But, in this instant? He was willing to f a i l at being a shinobi.

      If it meant… that they could be f r i e n d s. That they could be companions. That he could belong here.

      “I won’t push you away.” He murmurs again, nodding a little. Hanzo wasn’t used to people wanting to be near him, but, despite his own insecurities. Despite his F E A R. He wouldn’t do anything to hurt her… not again. Not if he could help it. “… as long as you want me to be here? I won’t go anywhere. Okay?” Somehow, this place had become his home. Somehow, U E D A had helped warm his heart – and open him up to people. Somehow, this rag-tag group of misfits had become his h o m e. And this place? He would protect it… regardless of what it took from him personally.