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I Wouldn't Make It A Week - Blog Posts

1 year ago

Reasons I'd get kicked out of Camp Half-Blood

1- telling Chiron to "stay gold, Ponyboy"

2- belting the chorus of "sweet home Alabama" every time I see a couple in the camp

3- making your mom jokes to Athena and Aphrodite kids

4- randomly spraying Percy with a squirt gun to check if he's really water resistant, even when he's not expecting to be in contact with water

5- approaching random campers and reminding them who their half-siblings are (ex: "yo, Nico, did you know you're related to Hitler?)

6- hiding a noise machine in the Hermes cabin and playing the star Wars scene "Luke, I am your father" every time he eneters/ making it play Hamilton at all hours of the night, so we can fall asleep to the sound of our father's voice

7- telling kids to "read between the lines", knowing full well they can't even read the lines themselves

8- convincing the younger, more gullible Demeter kids to grow weed

9- bribing the Hephaestus kids into making me a gun that shoots celestial bronze bullets, because there is no way in Hades that I am about to go after monsters just wielding some pointy sticks

10- sneaking into the Hera cabin to sleep, because what do you MEAN I, a claimed daughter of Hermes, don't get a bed in my own daddy's house? Yeah, no, I'm staying over at grandma's, the goddess of motherhood. Smite me.


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