I'm An Idiot - Blog Posts

Anyone else just forget the password to their phone or computer? Even though they use it every day, it just doesn't register in your mind when you go to type it in, and then it's like the scariest few seconds of your life.

One time someone at recess in school I was with my friends, then one of my friends told me to go touch grass and I did so, but they said that it wasn't enough so I looked them dead in the eye, bent down, grabbed a handful of grass and ate the grass, and immediately threw up.

After that we all had a good laugh

Help

so I was talking to apollo and I was asking questions about stuff that I probs shouldn't have been asking, the as he was answering one of these questions a huge fucking earthquake started. I was with 2 friends and we've all had a pretty rough night with one of us throwing up. After the earthquake finished we got really anxious and decided to ask if it was our fault because the timing was way to convenient, and apollo said it was. I dunno what to do but I'm trying to making it up to the gods as best as I can at the moment with my small access to items I can offer (I'm a minor in an extremely christian family). Any suggestions?

OMFG

I JUST REALIZED

When people say "your boys can swim"

THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT ADULT STUFF

I THOUGHT IT WAS LITERAL (kinda metaphorical)

I WAS SO CONFUSED WHEN I FIRST HEARD IT

I thought "swimming? What does your children swimming have to do with this situation?"

WHO CAME UP WITH THIS STUPID IDION???!?!!!??!!

GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH

Omg I was just think which I’m sure someone else has said this but…

Yk the color of the Camelot seal are red and gold.

Merlin is always trying to save Arthur using his magic which is gold. Arthur always ends up hurt anyways because he’s an idiot but he bleeds which is red.

So yes two sides of one coin and what not. So when Arthur does Albion or whatever it’s called can’t come to its golden age because the red (Arthur) is gone. Leaving only one part of the great Albion which is the gold (Merlin).

Ok so like I was in class and the teacher was joking about her shaky highlighting job on her computer and students joked with her and I just said “It’s straighter than me!” And I have never been more proud of my humor in my life. This is the funniest I will ever be.

the only way my girl is gonna rot is because of how sweet I treat her

Monster inktober:Day #12 ghoul/ghost

I actually ended up scaring myself by watching videos of ghost sightings while making this

no bc this is something I would do

Toby: Why doesn’t Y/n find me sexy when I bite my lip?

Jeff: What do you look like when you bite your lip?

Toby: [bites lip]

Jeff:

Jeff: Have you considered biting your bottom lip…?

was wondering why i even chose the name 'Dimension of Despondos' when i first came up with its plot and i just remembered-

I had finished watching Shera S5.

The words were fresh in my mind- thEYRE NOT EVEN FROM THE SAME FANDOM BRO-

if someone can help me pick another title or just convince me to embrace the shera parallels, that'd be great thanks

What's the most outlandish misspelling you've ever made that had you convinced that you have no brain, head empty for a moment?

What other people see: Awe man Zoro and Sanji are fighting again, good thing Nami is there to stop them!

What I see: DAMNIT NAMI LET THE ZOSAN KISS HAPPEN

"Um I'm pretty sure I know what I'm doing" *proceeds to fuck everything up*

I CANT SPELL

Theo what song is your favourite this week🤔

Brithright Syndrome by Camellia 😞😞😞

An epilepsy if it was a song frfr

hehe i got electrocuted on accident

TIL I’ve been hitting the wrong thing for something on here. I would like to apologize. Euthanize me now this is humiliating:(

guess just got out of the hospital cause they went into anaphylactic shock🥳🥳🥳

I thought you were talking about Boris Johnson and when I tell you I dIED I-

boris has a tiny tiny bird tattooed somewhere secret and its for theo

ok so why am i such a hopeless romantic but at the same time, when something vaguely possibly romantic happens i'm like hell no, this is so weird please ignore me for the rest of your life

I’m The Biggest Idiot

I'm that person who is the example not to follow

The laughable example

I'm the accidental class clown

I'm the person with the homework

That no one copies because I'm full of wrong answers

I'm the one that keeps doctors puzzled without trying

I'm the one who dares to touch the sky

Only to fall all the way back down

I hit the ground

And still live

Why?

I'm the one that can’t tell if that’s good luck or bad

I'm the one who doesn’t study

And then gets confused about the F

I'm the one bus drivers honk at

I'm the one people swear at

I'm the one that is openly clueless

I'm the one with backwards underwear

I'm the one who doesn’t know how to properly sit

In other words, I’m the biggest idiot

Signs I was obviously trans and I’m a f***ing idiot for not realizing it sooner #1

This is something I beat myself up a lot about: I knew, at age twelve, that I was different. At twenty-two, I was actively trying to bust out of the gender box. For a variety of reasons however, I kept it sealed for another fifteen years; an act for which I am deeply remorseful.

Hopefully I can diffuse my regrets - if even only a little - by noting, tongue-in-cheek, all the obvious signposts that I blew past on my way to the city of Obviously Not-Cisville.

To that end:

Somewhere around 2008-ish, I spent a lot of time in a particularly dark corner of the Internet; a site that has been aptly described as the “Mos Eisley Cantina of the online world”. A place that, paradoxically, was filled with the most socially malfeasant individuals, yet accepted all.

There was a board that had originally been dedicated to the subject of cross-dressing; but for obvious reasons was now home to a thriving transgender community. Equally understandably, a major topic of conversation was achieving certain transition goals - e.g. modifying one’s physical appearance - without professional medical guidance.

(Bluntly - DIY’ing hormones. I’m no going to judge anyone that goes this route; although there are legitimate safety concerns to be aware of.)

Anyhow, this is all a long-winded way of explaining why, when sorting through some backup files recently, I stumbled across three guides I had presciently saved from those days. In order: “Cute Boy Aesthetics; “How To Achieve ‘Trap-Mode’ Aesthetics”; and “How To Girl”.

But me? Pshhh! Totally not trans! 🙄

I completely understand everything you said in this post and it's so fucking valid. 

Like I could brake my arm and would probably try to hide it. I've been told it was unreasonable whenever I do this but I just can't help it, it's to scary to try to tell someone something. 

Like once I threw up and walked around in circles for 3 hours outside my mom's room sense I was scared is get in trouble for some reason? Like I knew I wouldn't get in trouble it's just the 1% possibility that I do freaks me the fuck out.

Or with getting my period I didn't tell her. I had already read books and watched videos that mentioned it so I just knew what I was supposed to do. And like 2 months later she asked me if I had gotten my period get and I just said no? I have no idea why I said no it would have been much easier to just say yes but instead I was to scared and said no.

in conclusion anxiety sucks.

(:

Time for a summery of dear, even Hansen from someone who hasent actually listened to it or watched the bootleg on YouTube.

so this kid named even like breaks his arm. Then like this other guy named Connor kills himself. And so then like umm... Stuff happens and even is like I was friends with connor. But like he wasent actually. And so like even likes connor's sister? Maybe? I can't remember? And so like everyone is all like we litrily never saw you guys together what the fuck? And so even is like we didn't want anyone to know we were friends. And then everyone was like okaaay. And then umm... Even started a thing that was about noticing people that committed suicide? I think? ( I have zero idea if this is true.) And he makes up a story that him and Connor were hanging out when he broke his arm. Oh and even has over protected mom and no dad. And so then like everyone finds out and is all like well that's sorta fucked up even. And the end they all like live or something?

I just remembered that a couple days ago, I wrote a speech from the perspective of the Lucky Charms mascot (L.C. Leprechaun). It was about him suing three kids for harassment and stuff like that.

And then I delivered the speech in A BAD IRISH ACCENT IN FRONT OF MY WHOLE CLASS (per my teachers request) and I am going to get an actual grade for it. HAHAHA guess who's failing public speaking

How I was burned by an evil eye

I just remembered a time when I accidentally drew the evil eye on my wrist and it burned. Because I’m an idiot I drew it again on my other hand and it still burned, so I drew something else on my hand with the same pen and it didn’t burn. I think I either got the evil eye or someone cursed me. I washed the eye off and saw that it had actually burned the eye onto my wrist. I had to used holy water, salt, and ashes on it. It didn’t go away until the next day. I’m not really sure how I feel about curses or such things, but I definitely am wary of evil eyes now.

question: how does one tell if they're genderfluid?