I’m Excited If You Can’t Tell - Blog Posts

eggyrocks save me. eggyrocks exes to lovers hinata smau save me. eggyrocks exes to lovers hinata smau where he’s on his knees begging for his girl back save me. eggyrocks-

GET BACK: PROLOGUE

masterlist

step 0: lose her

YOU HAVE ONE NEW MESSAGE

thenexttinygiant (20:31:43): im packing now, i can meet you in like 30 lore_biblio (20:34:03): okay thenexttinygiant (20:35:12): what songs should i download to listen to on the plane? lore_biblio (20:42:01): make sure tessellate by alt-j is on there

On the night that he left her, he held her in his arms and made promises.

“It’s only two years,” he had whispered in her ear, thumb drawing circles on the bare skin of her bicep. She can hear the cicadas. She can hear his heartbeat through his chest. It is steady, even, unbothered. “Two years will be over before you know it.”

They’re in the spot that’s always been theirs. A grassy knoll, secluded. One where she wiped melted ice cream off the corner of his lip. Where he braided her hair and topped it off with freshly picked flowers. Where he kissed her for the first time, and it was the first time she had ever been kissed.

The night is wet and sticky. It feels heavy, settled against her skin. Her eyes prick, and she breaths in slow and even, desperate not to cry any more than she already has.

“I’ll be waiting for you the whole time,” Shoyo says, and places a kiss on the crook of her neck, where her head meets her shoulder. “I’ll always wait for you.”

Indominable Shoyo, not fazed by anything. Not fazed by the looming two years and not fazed by being apart from her. She had begged and pleaded and cried and all she was met with was his grating, unbearable optimism. Everything will be okay. We can overcome the distance. We love each other enough to make it work.  

She doesn’t have anything to say to him. There’s nothing left for her to say. She’s voiced her concerns (calmly and collectedly), she’s begged (voice wavering and tone urgent), and nothing’s seemed to hit him. Nothing’s gotten through to him.

So she’s resigned to giving up.

She has a hard time not blaming him. Maybe a more supportive girlfriend wouldn’t. She would wave her pom poms and jump for joy at the revelation that Shoyo would be spending two entire years (twenty-four months, one-hundred and four weeks, seven-hundred and thirty days), halfway across the world. She would kiss him goodbye and promise to visit and she wouldn’t be bitter that he loves volleyball more than her.

But she’s not that girlfriend. She never was that girlfriend.

So when he rakes a hand through her hair and says, “I love you. I love you so much,” she doesn’t say anything at all.

There’s nothing left to say. Nothing left to do. Tomorrow, he will get on a plane. Tomorrow, he will leave her without looking back. Tomorrow, she won’t be his anymore.  

note: the song rec is supposed to be in the format of the old aol iming. i wish i couldve used it so bad lol. i dont care if it doesnt exist anymore. LOOK AT IT!!!

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