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Izuminokami : Deep down, I'm sure I was always pretty okay with you.
Tsurumaru : Thanks, Izuminokami !
Izuminokami : It wasn't a compliment, numbnuts.
Tsurumaru : You fuckers don’t know about my knife stick. It’s a knife taped to a stick and it’s the ultimate weapon.
Izuminokami : Spear.
Tsurumaru : BLOCKED.
Izuminokami : I love hearing Tsurumaru shouting at someone else. It makes such a nice change.
Tsurumaru : We all have our demons.
Tsurumaru , grabbing Izuminokami : This one’s mine.
Izuminokami : That’s the key slice of truth we need to complete the entire truth pie.
Tsurumaru : Ooh, can we get some actual pie?
Izuminokami : I like the way you think.
Tsurumaru : I think it’s time I get my life in order.
Izuminokami , narrating: But they did not get their life in order. In fact, they got drunk last night and fought a raccoon.
Izuminokami : Hey guys, I found a spider. Cool little lad. Thanks for eating the mosquitos.
Izuminokami : Oh no, where did it go?
Tsurumaru : IZUMINOKAMI WHAT THE FUCK?!
Tsurumaru : That's it, I'm cutting off the internet!
Izuminokami : No, please don't! I have a family to feed!
Tsurumaru :
Tsurumaru : What?
Izuminokami : I need to feed my Neopets!
Tsurumaru : Valentine’s day is just a consumerist holiday that holds no real value other than drive people insane buying heart shaped chocolates for their significant others and pos-
Izuminokami : I wrote you a poem.
Tsurumaru , already crying: You did?
Tsurumaru : You are the love of my life and I would do anything within reason to make you happy.
Izuminokami : I would be happy if you ate, stayed hydrated and got a reasonable amount of sleep.
Tsurumaru : I said within reason, Izuminokami . How about I murder that guy?
Izuminokami : So murder is in reason but proper self care isn't?
Tsurumaru : Well, duh. What kind of question is that?