Kelly Kapoor - Blog Posts

Best Coworker Moments

1. Season Three, Episode Twenty-Three: The Job How Phyllis, Karen, Pam and Angela genuinely try to help Michael through his relationship and encourage him to be remain broken up with Jan.

2. Season Three, Episode Sixteen: Business School

Michael putting Pam’s painting in the office.

3. Season Three, Episode Eight: The Merger When Ryan and Phyllis answer the Stanford branches concerns about how Michael usually is, how they get work done, and how they'll get home.

4. Season Three, Episode Ten: A Benihana Christmas When Pam gets Toby back the robe, or a replacement robe, they all got as Christmas gifts from corporate that Michael stole from him.

5. Season Nine, Episode Twenty-One: Livin the Dream

When Pam is upset that neither Jim nor Dwight are in her desk clump anymore.

6. Season Three, Episode Four: Grief Counseling When Jim insists that Karen gets her Hertz potato chips, before she start any other work.

7. Season Three, Episode Nineteen: Safety Training When they all start dropping cash off on Ryan’s desk as he bet how long it would take for Kelly to explain to him how Netflix works.

8. Season Nine, Episode Twenty-Three: Finale

When Stanley makes Phyllis that stand of her, with bird legs, and while she's showing it off to the camera crew she's bursting into tears.

9. Season Five, Episode Five: Crime Aid When Darryl, and the rest of the warehouse crew, auctions for whoever to "go out for a beer with them right now."

10. Season Two, Episode Nine: Email Surveillance Kelly (to Oscar and Stanley) “I’m sorry guys, can we please not talk about paper. There’s gotta be something else we can talk about.”

Best Conference Room Meetings

1. Season Three, Episode Four: Grief Counseling

When Pam and Ryan, and then Kevin tell fake grief stories based on movies.

2. Season Five, Episode Three: Business Ethics

Michael: Spent an entire week watching YouTube, in particular the Cookie Monster sings Chocolate Rain.

Oscar: Will sometimes take a long lunch.

Kelly: Downloads pirated music onto her work computer.

Meredith: For the past six years, Meredith was sleeping with a supplier in exchange for discounts on office supplies and Outback Steakhouse coupons.

3. Season Seven, Episode Thirteen: Ultimatum

⦁ Creed wanting to learn how to do a cartwheel (Ditto). ⦁ Kevin not knowing how to eat broccoli.

4. Season Seven, Episode Nineteen: Garage Sale Conference room meeting where Oscar, Ryan, Jim and Pam all work with Michael to plan the perfect proposal to Holly.

5. Season Two, Episode Twenty: Drug Testing When Pam sets up Jim to tell “the story about a friend who got caught up in the world of drugs” knowing per jinx he couldn’t speak. 

6. Season Four, Episode Four: Money When Michael is supposed to be teaching everyone PowerPoint but forgot, then the meeting get sidelined to the universally confusing question: Is whom a real word, and if so, when do you use it?

7. Season Six, Episode Twenty-Five: The Chump

When the meeting gets refocused on how to shoot Bin-Laden, Hitler and Toby with only two bullets.

8. Season Four, Episode Four: Money The Conference room meeting held at Michael’s other job as a telemarketer at the Lipaphedrine Diet-pill Company--they love him.

9. Season Two, Episode Twenty-One: Conflict Resolution  When Michael mediates between Angela and Oscar through the five mediation techniques.

10. Season Four, Episode Seven: Survivor Man

The Conference room meeting, that wasn't. Jim is trying to end the all the birthday parties as they waste time, but almost gets tricked into having a conference meeting about it per Pam's suggestion.

Best Interviews (AKA Talking Heads)

1. Season Two, Episode Twelve: The Injury (Ryan) “ I ground up four extra strength aspirin and put them in Michael’s pudding, I do the same thing with my dog to get him to take his heart worm medicine.”

2. Season Three, Episode Five: Initiation (Stanley) “I wake up every morning in a bed that’s too small, drive my daughter to a school that’s too expensive then I go to work to a job for which I get paid too little…but on Pretzel day, well I like Pretzel day.”

3. Season Three, Episode Twenty: Product Recall (Kelly and Angela) Kelly "This day is bananas. B-AN-A-N-A-S. This day is bananas. B-A-N-A"

Angela "I don't have a headache. I'm just preparing."

4. Season Five, Episode Twenty-Six: Casual Friday (Jim) “ I’m just hiding out until all this stuff blows over. With Creed. Playing chess. At work. He’s winning. Ifeel like I’m describing a dream I had.”

5. Season Seven, Episode Fifteen: The Search (Erin) “Holly is ruining Michael's life. He thinks she's so special and she's so not. Her personality is like a three, Her sense of humor is a two. Her ears are like a seven and a four. Add it all up, and what do you get? 16. And he treats her like she's a perfect forty, it's nuts."

Charles Minor

Charles’ Best Moment: Season Five, Episode Twenty-Four: Heavy Competition

When he calls Dwight into a private meeting because he see’s Dwight as a good performer and wants to make sure he’s happy, and gives Dwight more responsibility.

Charles’ Worst Moment: Season Five, Episode Twenty-Five: Broke

When he lets him embarrassment and annoyance with Dwight make him not listen to Dwight or question more that the Michael Scott Paper Company is broke.

Charles’ Best Line: Season Five, Episode Twenty-Eight: Company Picnic

When he says to Jim "Must be nice to get a rest from all your rest”

Charles’ Most Memorable Moment: Season Five, Episode Twenty-One: Two Weeks

“I am aware of the effect I have on women”

Creed Bratton

Creed’s Best Moment: Season Three, Episode Thirteen: The Return

When he answers Oscar’s question to Jim about where Dwight is with “You didn’t hear? Decapitated. A whole big thing. We had a funeral for a bird”  

Considering Jim was in Stanford and Oscar is just returning from his corporate apology vacation; they both think Creed is being nuts. When really, he just confused Dwight with Ed Truck.

Creed’s Worst Moment: Season Five, Episode Two: Weight Loss Part Two

Whatever he gave to Kelly that wasn’t a tapeworm.

Creed’s Best Line: Season Eight, Episode Three: The Lotto

When they have the different interviews of what everyone would do if they won the lotto

“I already won the lottery. I was born in the U.S. of A., baby. And as backup, I have a swiss passport.

Creed’s Most Memorable Moment: Season Four, Episode Four: Money

“You don’t go by Monopoly, man. That game is nuts. Nobody just picks up “get out of jail” of free cards. Those things cost thousands.”

Questions Left Unanswered

1. Season Five, Episode Eight: Business Trip

Where does Darryl go after Kelly breaks up with him via text. There is a lot of support for the idea that he is walking away happy and is thrilled that he didn’t have to break up with Kelly (further evidenced by how he has Val break up with him), but WHERE DOES HE GO!! This is the middle of the work day, why was this part and only this part included. Did I miss something, I continue to remain so confused.

2. Season Nine, Episode Twenty: Paper Airplane

They never gave an explanation for how Angela got so poor overnight. Yes, she was separated from the Senator, but she wasn’t poor before and she continued to work while married to the. So even if he really was that big of an asshole it doesn’t explain how or why she ended up so poor.

3. Season Five, Episode Seven: Customer Survey

What is the evidence that Dunder Mifflin is a front for the Mob

4. Season Seven, Episode Twenty-Two: Goodbye Michael

Okay Phyllis, to clean the mittens you told us 1) we can’t get them wet, 2) they can’t be dry cleaned but they have to be “hand washed without water” à how am I supposed to do that!?!?

And is it the same for your oven mitt

5. Season Six, Episode Twenty: New Leads

How did the rest of the staff (Meredith, Angela, Kevin, Oscar, Creed) react when they realized the Sales staff was going to offer them 2% of their quarter sales and not just an apology

6. Multiple Episodes: How many Chad Flenderson novels did Toby write?

7.  Season Five, Episode Five: Crime Aid

Who got David Wallace’s timeshare during the fundraiser?

8. Season Nine, Episode Twenty-Two: A.A.R.M.

What are the time limits on the other summoning bags?

9: Season Five, Episode Twelve: The Duel

We only know about Rule 17 (Don’t turn your back on bears, men you have wronged, or the dominant turkey during mating season) but what about the other Shrute Rules. There are 39 more and while also being interesting, I also do not wish to be eaten in my sleep. Though my guess that only matters if I am a Shrute.

10. Season Two, Episode Seventeen: Dwight’s Speech

What does Creed say in Chinese? There is some speculation that it translates simply to " My China friends hello” but, I don’t know. It’s Creed, and the finger pointing at the camera at the end makes me question if there is more.

Best End Moments

1.  Season Six, Episode Ten: Murder

After the end of the Murder Mystery game(s) when Michael, Andy, Dwight and Pam are all still at the office, past six, trying not to get shot by each other because they all announced how they were double agents ….and Jim has to drag her away

2. Season Eight, Episode Twenty-Two: Fundraiser

When everyone thinks Kevin doesn’t realize his dog Ruby is dead because he tells them:

She’s doesn’t do anything, just lays there all day

She barely touches her food

She doesn’t really poop

She just lies there all day

He has to prop her eyes open to watch the tv

She smells horrible

3. Season Five, Episode Twenty-Eight: Company Picnic

When Jim and Pam find out they’re expecting

4. Season Six, Episode Twenty-One: Happy Hour

Hide’s story

“In Japan, heart surgeon. Number one. Steady hand. One day, Yakuza boss need new heart. I do operation. But mistake! Yakuza boss die. Yakuza very mad. I hide fishing boat, come to America. No English, no food, no money. Darryl give me job. Now I have house, American car, and new woman. Darryl save life. My big secret: I kill Yakuza boss on purpose. I good surgeon. The best”

5. Season Five, Episode Nine: Frame Toby

Dwight’s Perfect Crime

6. Season Three, Episode One: Gay Witch Hunt

“I was gonna quit, but Jan offered me a three month paid vacation and a company car. All I had to do was sign something promising I wouldn’t sue. We’re going to Europe. Kids, sometimes it pays to be gay”

7. Season Eight, Episode Twenty-One

After Ryan somewhat pours his heart out to Kelly in the parking lot, Pam searches the waste basket to find the love poem he wrote to her because of how bad Pam expects it to be but after reading the whole thing with Jim that they are both brought to tears Jim tells the camera team “Ryan can never know”

8. Season Eight, Episode Four: Garden Party

When Jim keeps leaving and re-entering the Garden Party so Dwight has to keep announcing him and knowing that Dwight is so committed to throwing a good Garden Party that he asks Dwight who he really think the best salesman in the office is and then timing to walk back into the party so Dwight’s answer comes out as “Obviously M—Mr. James Halpert!”

9. Season Five, Episode Twenty-One: Two Weeks

When after Michael and Pam quit, Charles puts Kevin on “phones” and to decrease the time wasting makes Stanley his productivity czar and be ‘on top of that’

10. Season Seven, Episode Ten: China

After Andy first texts Darryl about him and Michael wearing the same tie, Darryl tells Andy to text him less. Then when Andy texts him “Megan Fox?” Darryl holds Andy to one bad text away from getting blocked. Andy maintains his “good text status” by only next texting Darryl two pigeons eating ice cream.

Darryl Philbin

Darryl’s Best Moment: Season Four, Episode Four: Money

When Kelly tells him “you’re going to have to make a choice. It’s either your daughter or me”

And without looking back at her, taking a moment, or even consider anything, just says “my daughter”.

Darryl’s Worst Moment: Season Nine, Episode Twenty-Two: A.A.R.M.

When he sneaks out of Dunder Mifflin, and doesn’t say goodbye to anyone.

Darryl’s Best line: Season Seven, Episode Thirteen: Ultimatum

“I’m telling you, don’t do it. I got nothing against strip clubs; but I do have something against them at noon, on a Monday. The day shift, at a strip club? You can’t unsee that”.

Darry’s Most Memorable Moment: Season Eight, Episode Three: Lotto

When he decided “My future isn’t going to be determined by seven little white lotto balls, it’s gonna be determined by two big black balls”.

Best Company moments

1. Season Seven, Episode Two: Counseling

When they all support and try to help Dwight with the mall fiasco even before they knew what happened. After first storming in and demanding everyone “Boycott the Steamtown Mall” and then again when help him prepare to Pretty Woman the salesclerk (per Kelly’s suggestion).

Kelly “You shirt and tie are disgusto-barfo”

Oscar “Maybe not so monochromatic, not so matching”

Ryan, Kelly, Pam and then Ryan again “The glasses are a little….I liked them…I thought they were kinda cute…yeah I liked them too”

Darryl "Say Stuff like ‘good morning, good afternoon. People appreciate that’” Darryl

Andy “If someone offers you a cocktail, accept, but keeps your wits about you” Andy

Angela “Please and Thank you go a long way”

2. Season Seven, Episode Twenty-Two: Goodbye Michael

When they all sing Rent, and calculated the actual minutes (9,986,000)  that he had been at the company

3. Season Five, Episode Fourteen: Stress Relief Part 1

When, more than those you’d expect, began dancing to them singing ‘staying alive’ to know when to pump for CPR. First Andy joining in singing, then Kelly dancing, Phyllis and Creed bopping their heads, then Michael stops with the CPR and gets up to also dance as does Andy later dancing with the instructor and even Meredith and Dwight bopping their heads as well.

4. Season Eight, Episode Five: Garden Party

When they all come together to cheer Andy up after the Garden party; even to where they ignore him as he tries to leave and apologize with Darryl asking him he wants a “Cheeseburger or Hamburger” and Oscar calling him “Nard-dog” before tossing him a beer.

5. Season Seven, Episode Seven: Christening

When they all shit on the churchgoers at the Christening; they are their own type of family

Ryan “Teach for America girls are way hotter—but their nuts”

Phyliis “Who takes a kid to Mexico”

Stanley” I would run to Mexico if that’s where the sandwiches are”

Dwight “You wanna know my 11th Commandment, I will not be undersold”

Andy “What if the Moon was your car and Jupiter was your hairbrush”

Ending with half-assed claps and Ryan playing with his cup

6. Season Six, Episode Fifteen: Sabre

When they work together to repackage the Sabre box

7. Season Seven, Episode Nine: WUPHF.com

When they figured out the server password first thinking of things topical for when it was set, IT guys, and then that it made Michael laugh when he heard it, but Pam got offended.

8. Season Seven, Episode Six: Costume Contest

“Is there no limit to what Stanley won’t notice?”

Jim’s OJ wasn’t his hot coffee

Kevin dressed up as Phyllis

Andy naked except for his tie

The computer monitor being replaced by a cardboard box with a picture on it

Michael with fake teeth

The conference meeting having everyone but him sitting backwards and the meeting talking about the projections on Jupiter

Pam with a mustache

and Dwight with a pony

 Except—he notices the clock is slow and it’s after 5pm

9. Season Nine, Episode Eight: The Target

When Pete, Kevin, Erin, Meredith, Creed, Nellie and Darryl all work together to build the complaint tower and support Pam getting a complaint

10. Season Nine, Episode Eighteen: Promos

When they realize the camera crew followed them more than they realized, and all looked at the camera simultaneously

Cringiest Moments

1.      Season Four, Episode Eleven: Night Out

When after making a joke that Pam nudges Toby about and everyone laughs at, Toby puts his hand on Pam’s leg…for a few seconds..and the room goes quiet, everyone sees and Jim and Pam just stare at the floor while Toby tells everyone he’s moving to Costa Rica and then hops the parking lot fence to leave

 2. Season Five, Episode One: Weight Loss Part One

When Holly stops and yells at Angela for screaming at Kevin and calling him a dummy and then it comes out that Holly “thinks” Kevin is mentally challenged.

 3. Season Nine, Episode Ten: Lice

When Pam’s mom calls and you know it’s going to come out they all got Lice from Pam and not Meredith

 4. Season Five, Episode Twenty-Eight: Company Picnic

For starters, the sketch show just wasn’t good; but watching them go through the different branches that would soon be closed and then going with B…..for Buffalo.

5. Season Eight, Episode Twenty: Welcome Party

When Andy breaks up with Jessica during a bachelorette party, that he crashed.

 6. Season One, Episode Five: Basketball

 When Michael first “stops the game early” between the Warehouse and the Office and gives the win to them, but then changes it under pressure from the warehouse. All because he got tapped on the nose.

 7. Season Two, Episode Four: The Fire

 When a few of the women are playing desert island and with “who would you do” mention Jim, Oscar and Toby. But then the cameras show Kevin is just feet away, hears them, and he even clears his throat.

 8. Season Four, Episode One: Fun Run

 When Michael holds off on letting anyone know how he’s was able to “get to the scene” so fast when Meredith was hit by the car, and explains that he was “in the car” not specifically “the driver”.

 9. Season 2, Episode 2: Sexual Harassment

When Michael tries, and mostly succeeds, in making Phyllis feel better after Packer rips into her. But then goes to far

“You know what I’m afraid of—of getting a boner”

  10.   Season Two, Episode Nineteen: Michael’s Birthday

When Pam make announcements on the loud speaker at the Rite Aid; especially since they’re so bad

Luke this is your Father, come set the dinner table

Jim Halpert, Price check on fabric softener

Gabe Lewis

Gabe’s Best Moment: Season Seven, Episode Sixteen: PDA 

When he designs the Treasure Hunt for Erin for Valentine’s Day. There’s a jigsaw puzzle, she gest to visit Darryl, he puts up stars for her, gets her sparkling cider (not champagne) and a cookie that brings her right to him.

Gabe’s Worst Moment: Season Seven, Episode Twenty-Five: Search Party Part 1 

When he signals to Toby and Jim if they would ‘wrap up’ Kelly’s interview and then explaining to her that she’s not qualified or considered a serious candidate.

Gabe’s Best Line: Season Eight, Episode Four: Garden Party

In response to everyone thinking Andy throws the Garden Party to impress Robert California (as we see later it was more to impress his parents) Gabe gets annoyed because that’s a ‘classic Gabe move’

“Hey Andy, how about you don’t steal my business strategies and I won’t dress like my life is just one long brunch” (Season Eight, Episode Four: Garden Party)

Gabe’s Most Memorable Moment: Season Seven, Episode Fifteen: The Search

When Gabe sets these ground rules for the Caption Contest

1.      No captions that insult the company

2.      No pop-culture references

3.      To use the stick-quips

Best Parties

1.      Benihana Christmas: Season Three, Episode Ten

2.      Launch Party: Season Four, Episode Three

3.      Email Surveillance: Season Two, Episode Nine

4.      Kelly’s day-late birthday party: Lecture Circuit Part One

5.      Dwight Christmas: Season Nine, Episode Nine

6.      Christmas Party: Season Two, Episode Ten

7.      The Dundies: Season Two, Episode One

8.      Booze Cruise: Season Two, Episode Eleven:

9.      Cocktails: Season Three, Episode Seventeen

10.   Season Five, Episode Nine: Frame Toby (Whatever party got Michael to go back to the annex and see that Toby had returned )

Ryan <3 Kelly

Ryan Howard

Ryan’s Best Moment: When he ‘empties’ out his desk during Cleaning Day but nothing is there (Season Two, Episode Eleven: The Secret)

“If I had to, I could clean out my desk in five seconds; and nobody would ever know I had ever been here. And I’d forget too.” *sighs*

                                                     +++

Ryan’s Worst Moment: He mentions to Kelly and Pam that he doesn’t ever see himself after getting married after Kelly notes she’d like to get married in June and asks Ryan when he’d like to get married. Pam asks that he be more sensitive to Kelly’s feelings for him. Pam mentions to Ryan that he should be nicer about what he says since Kelly clearly is interested in him. (Season Two, Episode Seventeen: Dwight’s Speech)

“I know what I said”

                                                    +++

Ryan’s Most Memorable Moment: When Ryan get’s delivered new business cards on the day they are told the branch is closing (Season Three, Episode Seven: Branch Closing)

“It makes perfect sense that it would happen today because I just received this in the mail—a thousand business cards with this address and phone number”

                                                   +++

Ryan’s Best Line: Ryan gives “a reason” but really every reason for why he cannot go out with Michael, Andy and others to lunch so Jim can’t provide another reason. (Season Three, Episode Ten: A Benihana Christmas)

“Oh man I can’t, I’m not feeling so well. I got a ton of work to do here, MSG allergy, peanut allergy, I just ate their last night” (Season Three, Episode Ten: A Benihana Christmas) when he first gives Michael excuses to why he can’t go to ‘Asian Hooters’ and then the rest to Jim

Kelly Kapoor

Kelly’s Best Moment: When getting the Women in the Workplace Training from Jan and they’re going over sports metaphors about successes and failures in the workplace Kelly refocuses it on romantic sports metaphors, poking at Jan’s recent romantic interactions with Michael (Season Two, Episode Fifteen: Boys and Girls)

“What about second base? Like, if Michael said he got to second base with you. Does that mean you like, closed a deal? I mean that’s a baseball term right?”

                                                      +++

Kelly’s Worst Moment: When she tells Ryan he got her pregnant when he’s back visiting the branch after getting promoted (Season Four, Episode Two: Dunder Mifflin Infinity)

At first she solemnly nods no to the camera expressing she’s not pregnant but as we learn he agrees for them to talk in private after work about ‘everything’ she gets all excited and chirps “We have a date!”

                                                      +++

Kelly’s Most Memorable Moment: When another interesting thing finally happens in the office. (Season Eight, Episode Seventeen: Test the Store)

“Will someone explain what’s going on here. Since the interesting thing happened, so much time has past. It feels like my life is buffering”

                                                      +++

Kelly’s Best Line: Kelly explaining how she’s *so smart* following the minority executive training program…but she’s still Kelly (Season Seven, Episode One: Nepotism)

“You guys, I’m like really smart now, you don’t even know. You could ask me ‘Kelly, what’s the biggest company in the world?’ and I’d go blah blah blah, blah blah blah’ giving you the exact right answer”

They’re so duncney